‹ Prequel: Harold On A Segway
The Condiment Chronicles
Toothpaste and Rape
“So how are we going to get to Manchester?” Bob asked Gerard, who was brushing his teeth.
“mumph,” he shrugged, his mouth full of froth
“I think he means ‘I’m sure Frankie will think of something, because he’s soooooooo amazing and I love him!’” Frank said, peeping round the bathroom door.
Gerard casually smacked him around the head and spat carefully into the sink, so that the froth splashed back onto Frank’s feet.
“Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!” he squealed, hopping around and slapping at his foot.
Bob completely ignored Frank’s theatrics and repeated the question.
“Um, I hadn’t really though that far,” Gerard mumbled, rinsing his toothbrush
“But you’re always the one with the plan!” Bob looked slightly panicked
“Why don’t you ask super-Frank?” he smirked in Frank’s direction, who was now pulling on dinosaur socks. Frank looked up and grinned at Gerard, who couldn’t help but smile back –Frank was just so adorable!
“Well…” Frank began
“This should be good,” Mikey sat down cross-legged on the floor, like a kid eagerly awaiting a story.
Frank scowled at him before continuing “Gee still has his plastic fantastic, right?”
“Right,”
“All we need to do is book a flight to England and go on from there!” he looked pleased with his master plan.
“Wow, Frankie!” Ray emerged from the second bedroom, dressed in yesterdays clothes (in his Pyjama frenzy, Gerard had forgotten to buy normal clothes) “We never would’ve thought of that without your input!”
“Oh, shut up!” he threw his converse at Ray, which smacked him in the face and knocked his glasses off.
“You idiot!” Ray slowly crouched down, and squinted at the floor
“Here, honey.” Bob handed him Mikey’s rectangular frames.
“Thanks. Why do you always have to resort to violence?” he asked, turning to Frank, who had retrieved his shoe and was lacing it up.
“Troubled childhood?” He shrugged “Gee used to rape me in the paddling pool,”
“If I remember rightly, it was you who raped me!” he prodded Frank with his toothbrush
Mikey rolled his eyes and got up to take a shower “Call me when it’s safe to come out!”
“mumph,” he shrugged, his mouth full of froth
“I think he means ‘I’m sure Frankie will think of something, because he’s soooooooo amazing and I love him!’” Frank said, peeping round the bathroom door.
Gerard casually smacked him around the head and spat carefully into the sink, so that the froth splashed back onto Frank’s feet.
“Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!” he squealed, hopping around and slapping at his foot.
Bob completely ignored Frank’s theatrics and repeated the question.
“Um, I hadn’t really though that far,” Gerard mumbled, rinsing his toothbrush
“But you’re always the one with the plan!” Bob looked slightly panicked
“Why don’t you ask super-Frank?” he smirked in Frank’s direction, who was now pulling on dinosaur socks. Frank looked up and grinned at Gerard, who couldn’t help but smile back –Frank was just so adorable!
“Well…” Frank began
“This should be good,” Mikey sat down cross-legged on the floor, like a kid eagerly awaiting a story.
Frank scowled at him before continuing “Gee still has his plastic fantastic, right?”
“Right,”
“All we need to do is book a flight to England and go on from there!” he looked pleased with his master plan.
“Wow, Frankie!” Ray emerged from the second bedroom, dressed in yesterdays clothes (in his Pyjama frenzy, Gerard had forgotten to buy normal clothes) “We never would’ve thought of that without your input!”
“Oh, shut up!” he threw his converse at Ray, which smacked him in the face and knocked his glasses off.
“You idiot!” Ray slowly crouched down, and squinted at the floor
“Here, honey.” Bob handed him Mikey’s rectangular frames.
“Thanks. Why do you always have to resort to violence?” he asked, turning to Frank, who had retrieved his shoe and was lacing it up.
“Troubled childhood?” He shrugged “Gee used to rape me in the paddling pool,”
“If I remember rightly, it was you who raped me!” he prodded Frank with his toothbrush
Mikey rolled his eyes and got up to take a shower “Call me when it’s safe to come out!”
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry that Mikey’s not mentioned much, I’m working on it!!! Don’t Ray and Bob make such a good couple? ^_^