A Little Piece Of Insanity

Lexi’s POV

As soon as Jimmy’s car was out of sight, I turned to Pansy.
‘’Are you sure you didn’t kill him?’’
That earned me a dangerous glare. ‘’Yes woman, I am sure that I didn’t kill him.’’ She sighed and rubbed her temples. ‘’He fainted, because…’’
I raised an eyebrow. ‘’What did you say to him?’’
She looked at the sky for a second. ‘’I told him I think I’m in love with him.’’
Now that shocked me. Well, not really since I knew she had pretty deep feelings for him, but I didn’t expect her to come out with it already. ‘’Did you mean it?’’
‘’I don’t know, I don’t think so…I’m just gonna go upstairs and take a nap…after I spray my room with Lysol.’’ She dragged her feet and walked inside, disappearing up the stairs.
I sighed and sat down on the front porch, bringing my legs up to my body and resting my chin on my knees. I savored the quiet time, because I knew someone would eventually wander in this general direction, ruining any possibly serenity.
For a split second, I considered joining a cult. Then I remembered that most people who join cults end up killing themselves in the end. No thank you.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when my phone started ringing. I grabbed it out of my pocket and flipped it open.
‘’What is it, my dearest Zachary?’’
‘’WE…GOT…HOLY SHIT!!!!!’’ he screamed, sounding rather out of breath. I raised an eyebrow.
‘’You have holy shit? Did you steal it from a church to get it?’’ I laughed.
‘’This isn’t the time for sarcasm woman, WE GOT SIGNED!!!!!’’ he screamed again. I could hear Matt and Johnny screaming in the background as well. I grinned. They’re such girls sometimes.
‘’That’s fantastic! Who’d you get signed to?’’
‘’Good Life Recordings,’’ he said, finally catching his breath, ‘’they want us in the studio sometime next week.’’
I nodded. ‘’You guys better not forget about us when you become famous, we know where you live. Did you tell Jimmy and Brian yet?’’
‘’Yeah, Jimmy nearly hugged us all to death, and he ran around screaming, something about needing more tattoos. Brian’s…asleep, we think. Or did Pansy work him too hard and he’s in some sort of coma?’’
I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing. ‘’You could ask her, but I can’t guarantee she won’t stab you or something.’’
‘’I’ll keep that in mind when I go shopping for a bullet proof vest.’’
He eventually hung up, but not before informing me that everyone was going out to celebrate tonight at Johnny’s Bar. Time to break out the crowbar and pry Pansy out of her room. From how she was acting before, I doubt she’ll want to go anywhere near Brian.
I was going to have to fix that.
Of course, I was going to let her get her sleep first. She was already going to be agitated when she finally woke up, I didn’t want to add onto it.
I looked around my room a bit out of boredom, eventually concluding that I needed more CDs. And there was only one store that could satisfy my needs. F.Y.E.
I quickly got myself ready, arriving at the mall in less than twenty minutes. Sitting down on a bench after I got myself a cinnamon pretzel, I looked down at my red and black Element sneakers that were about a bazillion years old. Yeah these things have seen better days. Might as well go shoe shopping while I’m here.
I finished eating and got up, heading toward F.Y.E.
And that was when a giant meteor crashed through the ceiling and killed us all.
No, not really. Instead, I spotted a group of six insanely hot men, long haired and wearing skinny jeans. I felt like I was in some movie, where one of them was about to knock into me accidentally and help me up or some cliché shit. Just to be safe, I looked around for cameras. I was happy that I found none.
The six Greek Gods continued on wherever they were going, and I was a bit temped to follow them, but I controlled myself and entered F.Y.E.
‘’Hello, how are you today?’’ a short guy with blonde hair said to me as I entered the store. I smiled and gave him a small wave.
‘’Good, thanks,’’ I replied. I tend to try and be nice to people who work in stores. You never know, say one wrong thing and you get beat to death with a scanner or cash register or something.
‘’Alright, if you need anything let me know,’’ he said, grinning in a way that could be considered slightly creepy. I nodded and kept walking.
I passed the hip hop/R&B section, and for a split second, I could’ve sworn I saw that short blonde guy staring at me. I backtracked slowly and looked down the isle. It was empty.
Shrugging, I kept going until I found the section labeled rock/metal. I really needed another Guns N’ Roses CD. For some odd reason, I never got Appetite For Destruction. I looked around until I found ‘G.’
And there it was. I could almost swear I saw an angelic light appear over it.
And just as I reached out to grab it, short blonde guy decided to make an appearance again.
‘’Do you need some help?’’ he asked, directly behind me. I jumped and turned around.
‘’Um, no I’m fine thanks,’’ I said awkwardly. He still wasn’t leaving.
‘’Are you sure?’’ he stepped even closer. I could feel his breath on my neck. ‘’There are many things I could do for you if you let me.’’
You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I answered him with a fist to his left eye. ‘’Fucking pedophile leprechaun…’’ I grumbled, kneeing him in the balls for good measure and walking away, leaving him on the floor to writhe in pain.
I paid for the CD quickly, just in case midget boy found me and decided to attack me. Although I would’ve been able to handle myself just fine if he tried. I decided to skip out on the shoe store for the moment. It’s much more interesting shopping with Pansy anyway.
I wonder if that sales guy remembers when she caught him in the head with a high heel.
I got home around 4 pm. The house was quiet, so I figured Pansy was still upstairs sulking. The only thing that I knew would brighten her mood was a nice big bowl of ice cream. And one for myself, of course.
I knocked on her door with my head, as odd as that sounds. My hands were sort of full, holding two big bowls of rocky road and all. When she didn’t answer, I was about to use my head again. Thankfully she opened the door.
It looked like she’d just woken up from a nap. Oh god, I’m really hoping I didn’t wake her. When she doesn’t get her sleep…lets just say, it’s like waking a tired, hungry, angry, violent bear in the middle of its hibernation.
The scar I have on my shoulder is a good example.
‘’This had better be pretty damn good…is that ice cream?’’ she said, waking up almost immediately when she noticed what I was holding. I nodded and handed a bowl to her.
‘’Okay, I know you didn’t come up here just to bring me ice cream,’’ she started, sitting on her bed. I sat on her desk. ‘’Did Brian get pecked to death by a bird or something? It would be a hundred times easier for me if he did, it’ll mean I won’t have to try and explain to him…whatever it was that happened before.’’
I shook my head a bit and laughed, licking my spoon. ‘’I haven’t heard anything about him getting mauled by Big Bird but I promise you’ll be the first one I tell if and when he does.’’ I paused for a second, trying to think how I should go about this without her trying to escape through the window. ‘’The guys got signed, and whether you like it or not, we’re going out tonight to celebrate.’’
She was quiet for a second, and then, just as I predicted, she ran for the window and opened it quickly. I got up from my spot and grabbed one of her legs. The other one was already out the window.
I wonder what our neighbors would think if they saw this. Probably call the nearest asylum, letting them know that two of their mental patients must’ve escaped and were trying to jump out a window. Fucking nosy neighbors.
‘’LET ME GO!’’ she yelled, trying to kick me. I don’t know if she realized this or not, but her room is on the second floor. And I don’t like heights, so if she falls, I’ll most likely end up going with her, like it or not. Fuck me.
‘’DAMNIT, GET BACK IN HERE!’ I yelled, bracing my feet on the wall, trying to pull her back in. Half her body was already out the window.
‘’NO! I’D RATHER FALL TO MY DEATH OR SPEND A FEW NIGHTS IN THE HOSPITAL THAN GO NEAR BRIAN AGAIN!’’ She struggled harder, so I tightened my grip on her leg.
‘’WHAT THE HELL, STOP BEING A CHICKEN SHIT AND FACE THAT COCKSUCKER! JUST TELL HIM YOU WERE DRUNK OR OVERTIRED OR SOMETHING! I DON’T KNOW! I’M NOT LETTING YOU JUMP OUT A WINDOW OVER SOME GUY!’’ I yelled. Eventually she sighed in defeat, slowly climbing back into her room. She looked tired and defeated. Oh, and pissed off.
‘’Fine, I’ll go. But if more shit decides to blow up in my face, I can’t promise that I won’t stab anyone.’’ she walked into the bathroom across the hall and slammed the door.
I think I’ll go out wearing the puffiest jacket I can find and about 7 pairs of pants. You know, to distance myself from her possible coming wrath. I doubt that would stop her though.

Pansy’s POV

The drive to Johnny’s Bar was quiet and a bit tense. After about an hour of lethal and possibly painful threats, we figured out Lexi should drive for the sake of anyone that got in our way. I’d probably just run them over in frustration.
‘’Take deep breaths,’’ Lexi said calmly. It made me want to punch a hole in the dashboard, but I did as she said.
I breathed out and adjusted my Misfits hoodie. ‘’It’s not that I’m not happy for them, I’m ecstatic…just not about the whole ‘seeing Brian and possibly embarrassing myself again’ part. Have you ever told someone you were in love with them, only to have them faint? I didn’t even mean it, damnit!’’ I groaned, hitting my head against the back of the seat.
“Well, either way, you‘re going to talk to him. And if talking isn‘t the solution, then I bet you guys can find another bathroom stall or broom closet,” she said, keeping her eyes on the road. I just glared at her and thought of ways to murder her in her sleep. I really didn’t want to come, but I want to show my support towards the guys, so damn it, I will have fun…or at least attempt to.
“WE’RE HERE!” Lexi practically screamed in my ear, snapping me out of my thoughts.  I didn’t say a word, just simply got out of the car and followed her into the bar.
As soon as we set foot inside, we were both attacked by like 7 people…okay so it was just Jimmy but it sure as hell felt like seven people!
“YOU CAME!” he cried as he hugged us. I wanted to very badly make a perverted comment but I kept my mouth shut.
“Yes, now lead the way to the drinks, my good man,” I told him, and he dragged Lexi and I to a table.
“THERE ARE NO DRINKS HERE! WHERE ARE MY DRINKS?!” I whined.
“RIGHT HERE WOMAN DON’T HAVE A FIT!” I heard Val yell from behind us.
I turned around and hugged her. “Hey Val!” I said. That was when I realized there were no drinks. “You liar! You lied to me…there are no drinks,” I pouted.
She had a confused face when I said this. “Sure there are, Matt’s got ‘em, right…” She turned, finding no one behind her. “Matt? Oh god I lost the man,” she said, finishing her sentence and going back into the crowd of people, looking for her boyfriend and my drinks.
I turned, expecting Jimmy and Lexi to be sitting at the table, chatting away at whatever it is they chat about, but I found no one. I sighed and started looking around for them.
I hate being left alone.
I walked over to some part of the bar and noticed Jimmy and Lexi playing pool. Oh no they didn’t. “YOU!” I shouted, glaring at Jimmy. He looked scared. GOOD!
“Oh god, what did I do now?” he said, hiding behind Lexi.
She has become his favorite hiding spot lately. “You left me all alone back there!” I pouted, “I declare war on you mister!”
“YOU’RE ON!” he yelled and walking over to me. I put my bag down and took off my earrings. We glared at each other. Lexi just looked lost as ever. Next thing I know, I’m having a thumb war with Jimmy. “HAH, I WON!” he yelled, and started doing some weird happy dance of his.
“NO FAIR!...You have large fingers,” I pouted, “best two out of three?” I asked with puppy dog eyes. “NO WAY! I WIN EPICALLY!” he screamed, feeling accomplished and skipping in circles.
I glared at him and walked over to one of the pool tables, grabbing two of those pool stick things and throwing one at him.
“Lets see who wins now!” I challenged him. “OOOOH SHITS ABOUT TO GO DOWN!” I heard some random person say.
I did a war cry and advanced at Jimmy. His eyes widened and he started screaming and running, flailing the stick everywhere and jumping over things. I just stood there and watched him, amused. Suddenly he stopped, turning to glare at me.
“I mustn’t run…fight you I shall!” he announced, speaking like Yoda from star wars.
“OOOH MORE SHIT’S ABOUT TO GO DOWN!” the same person yelled.
A loud thump was heard, followed by the same guy screaming. “OW THAT FUCKING HURT ZACKY!” “GOOD IT WAS SUPPOSED TO!” I heard Zacky from somewhere in the crowd of people.
I looked back at Master Jimmy. Get it? ‘Cause…he‘s…Yoda…and…oh forget it. We ran towards each other and started flailing our sticks out and about. I glanced over at Lexi for a couple of seconds, and she was just sitting there, sipping away at her beer, looking amused as ever. Jimmy and I kept going at it with the sticks, with the occasional almost-poking-an-eye-out, when suddenly, Zacky ran in and grabbed both of ours sticks by one side with both his hands.
“STOP IT BEFORE YOU KILL SOMEONE YOU RETAR-OW!” he screamed, turning to Lexi. She had thrown one the ball racks at him, which hit him in the head.
“MOVE AWAY CHILD, YOURE BLOCKING MY VIEW!‘’ she yelled at him.
“THAT FUCKING HURT DAMMIT!” Zacky yelled back, pouting. I turned and saw that Jimmy was laughing quietly at the two. I took his distraction as an opportunity to grab his pool stick and throw it across the room.
“OW! WHAT THE HELL WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE GETTING HURT?!” I heard Johnny yell from the direction I had thrown the stick to….oops? “MOVE AWAY, CAN’T YOU SEE WE HAVE DRINKS?!” I heard Val’s voice yell through the crowd. DRINKS?! WHERE! I ran to where her voice was coming from, wanting to get my hands on the alcohol
Only instead, I ended up running straight into Matt, causing me to go flying onto someone’s table, landing on my back. The drinks Matt had been carrying ended up all over me, especially my head.
‘’AGH! MATT!’’ I yelled, looking at the people who’s table I’d almost crushed. Yeah they didn’t look too happy. ‘’Oh, um…sorry!’’ I said, getting up. My back now hurt like a bitch.
Matt and Val were staring at me bug-eyed, a bit afraid of what I was about to do. ‘’Um…well…you kind of ran into me so…it wasn’t my fault!’’ Matt said quickly, grabbing Val and disappearing into the crowd before I could stab him.
I think I got tequila up my nose.
Deciding to get cleaned up before anymore alcohol entered my body in places that weren’t my mouth, I headed towards the bathroom.
Upon entering the ladies room, I was met with some very…interesting sounds coming from one of the stalls. I turned on one of the sinks quickly, scrubbing at my clothes and hair to get rid of the alcohol’s smell. I tried washing off my shirt and pants as fast as I could to give the people some privacy, when the sound of a stall slamming against the wall scared me and made me turn around.
Apparently, whoever had been fucking in there broke the door or something, because there were two half naked people rolling around on the floor and-
Holy shit. That’s Brian. Brian was sucking the face off of some red head…I couldn’t breathe.
I felt like such an idiot, thinking that I was more than a fling to him. I’m probably not the first he’s done this to either. That thought made me even angrier.
‘’The next time you feel like screwing some random chick in a bathroom stall, make sure it’s fucking closed, asshole!’’ I yelled at him, storming out of the bathroom before he could stop me.
I ended up running straight into Zacky.
‘’Oh hey dude, you might not wanna go any further, Lexi is-are you okay?’’ he asked, looking a bit concerned.
‘’Oh yes, I’m perfectly fine,’’ I snapped, ‘’can’t you see the steam coming out of my ears? That just means my brain is working. No, I’m not fine! I just walked in on Brian screwing some chick in a god damned bathroom stall, and I’m confused, and I’m frustrated, and I just wanna get fucking wasted and pass out. Oh, you said something about Lexi?’’ I ranted all in one breath.
Zacky was quiet for a second. I could hear Lexi screaming in the background.
‘’Yeah Kari showed up-’’ he began.
‘’I figured,’’ I grumbled, pushing past him to find my best friend. It wasn’t that hard, there was a circle forming around her and Kari, beating the living shit out of each other. It took me a few seconds to realize one side of Lexi’s hair was shorter than the other. Oh no.
I shoved my way through everyone and tried pulling Kari off of Lexi. It took me a few minutes, but after a minute or two of yanking, I succeeded in doing that, hoping that this thing was over…
When Kari turned around, grabbed a beer bottle off of some table, and dumped it on my head.
Where the fuck was Jimmy during all of this? He needs to get this bitch a leash.
I wiped my face off with my hand, turning back to the smirking cockroach and slamming my fist into her nose, feeling satisfied when I heard it crack. I grabbed Lexi’s arm, literally having to drag her out of the bar with me. There was no way in fucking hell we were staying after that.

At the house…

I stepped out of the shower after being in there for like an hour. I didn’t think it was possible for someone’s hair to be so…clean. I pulled on a pair of pajama shorts and a batman shirt and walked into the kitchen, finding Lexi trying to cut her hair evenly over the sink. From what I got out of her, Kari cut her hair with a broken beer bottle because she was hanging out with Jimmy. Now that I think about it, I should’ve just sent the squirrel army on her.
‘So, how’s your boy toy?’ THIS ISN’T THE TIME FRANK! ‘Oi, I only asked a question. What’s gotten up your ass, hun?’ I SAID I DON’T WANNA TALK ABOUT IT! ‘But-’ I’m tuning you out now.
Lexi took a quick glance at me but we didn’t say anything. We didn’t need to; both of us were well aware of how quickly things turned shitty tonight.
She threw the scissors into the sink and sighed in frustration. ‘’Fuck it, I’m going to the hair salon tomorrow,’’ she grumbled, storming off into the living room. I opened the cabinet under the sink and took out a bottle of vodka, following Lexi out of the kitchen.
We passed the bottle back and forth, taking long gulps from it until we were both more than buzzed. Nothing had been said until I passed it back to Lexi.
‘’You know,’’ she said, slurring slightly, ‘’why do we need men anyway? They’re all just…’’ she stopped for a second to take a swig, ‘’assholes. And cheaters. And fucking Kari…’’ she passed the bottle back to me, ‘’that bitch can go to hell for all I care. I mean, what was Jimmy thinking?’’ she laughed, leaning back on the couch.
I raised the bottle in agreement and took a long drink from it. ‘’And Brian,’’ I began, sitting cross-legged, ‘’I must’ve been high on something when we got together, what the FUCK was I thinking?! Like, okay, so he can basically pass for a Greek God looks wise, and he’s an animal in the bed…or…bathroom stall…but he’s just like every other ego maniac I’ve ever met! He has to sleep around to keep up his ‘’image’’, and the boy can’t commit for shit. I’d be better off dating a dog, at least I know it would be loyal to me,’’ I laughed.
‘’I don’t think bestiality will solve our guy problems,’’ she began, taking the bottle from me and taking a long drink, ‘’but let’s promise to at least try to fix this shithole of problems when we’re not…drunk,’’ she giggled. I nodded in agreement, stretching my arms and yawning.
‘’Promise.’’
It’s funny how you tend to forget things like that when waking up the next day with a hangover the size of Russia.