Who do Exchange Students Think They Are?

Well since it wasn’t the school year just yet I was in my house a lot or at the pool doing swim team. Having Jace in there completely ignoring me just ruined my mood. Day by day I just thought I’d get over it. He’s been hear a week and we haven’t spoken more than two words to each other besides the fight we had the day he came. I came back from swim team it was 8 and the family just got finished eating. “Arianna help Grayson with the dishes.” I walked over to my brother and helped him load the dish washer. I’ve learned it’s easier to just do what my mother asks. By the time we finished loading and unloading the dish washer it was 9. I made my way to bed knowing I had practice at 6 the next morning. Jace was already up there and I thought he was sleeping. I changed in my walk in closet and then walked to my bed.
“Arianna.” Jace mumbled in his sleep. Hearing my name come out of his mouth made me smile. No. I can’t even become friends with him. If we become friends he’ll think its okay to invade my privacy. I like to have things that are just for me like my room, though that was pulled out from under my feet. So to keep the only bit of stability left of my life I chose to keep the relationship between Jace and I the same. “Arianna.” Jace mumbles again. Man, this is going to be hard. I know we would be friends if I let him in. I just don’t want anything to change and I have trust issues.
I will be the first one to admit I don’t find it easy to trust people. I’m not going to give you my life story in the first hour I know you, I probably won’t be the one to go up and say “hi”. I definitely won’t be the flirt. I don’t want little insignificant relationships. I believe when you date someone it’s looking for your spouse. 98% of the time you won’t find that person in high school and 1% of that gets divorced within the first year. Another reason I don’t want to deal with Jace. I can’t let myself become friends with him because that’s a gateway to being more than friends and I don’t want to make it awkward.
I over analyze everything. That’s me. I think years into the future about the littlest things. This is why I’m vegetarian and why I walk to school. So forgive me for looking so far ahead about being friends with Jace. I can’t help the way my brain works. I closed my eyelids and went to sleep……….. I was making breakfast as Jace comes up behind me. He wraps his arms around my waist and I feel as if I’m complete. I look down at my hand that is flipping pancakes and see a wedding ring on my finger. “I Love you sweet heart” says Jace in my ear. I turn around to meet his eyes and I say “I lo-“I wake up by Jace stepping out of his bed.
I sit up in bed and Jace meets my eyes. “I can’t do this anymore.” Jace let out. I couldn’t meet his eyes anymore. I couldn’t give in.
“I’m sorry; it’s just how it has to be.” I said. I kept telling myself don’t even let there be a chance to let him in.
“Why!?!” asked Jace. “Why does it have to be this way? Why do I have to be miserable and why are you making yourself miserable.” Don’t let him in! Don’t trust him screamed my mind. Whereas my heart said run to him and hug him.

“I can’t let you in. I can’t.” I whispered. I was embarrassed of how scared I was of him knowing the real me.
“Yes you can, I want to be you friend Arianna. You won’t let me.” Jace said. Anger building up in him. I only kept my head down. “Goddammit!” he screamed. “Why can’t you just at least get to know me before you right me off as a bad guy?”
“I didn-“I tried to defend myself. Jace interrupted.
“Yes you did. From the moment you saw me you wrote me of as the devil. Give me a chance.”
“No! I can’t. I just can’t” I said becoming closer and closer to tears.
“Fine. If this is how you want it to be. I’m going to make you like me. I’m going to make it so there’s no way you can’t befriend me.” He said smiling as if he came up with a brilliant idea. I just stayed looking down at my comforter. Jace walked out of the room. I let one tear fall down my cheek. Only one. I cannot let myself become attached.