Fireflies

I got misty eyes as they say farewell

June 6th, 2010

I hate this day...

I hate this day. You may be wondering why. Well then let me tell you about the story of my life. I'm Megan Curtis, I'm 19 years old. My family's a normal family, small family, no brothers no sisters. I love to read, learn new stuff; you can tell I'm not like the other girls. I don't party much. I don't drink. I'm well behaved. I'm, what some may call, a boring girl. But I wasn't always like this. There was something that changed my life completely. Best friends? Love? Well, that's mainly the reason of my change. I once had best friends, and I once thought I was in love.

That's why I hate this day. Four years ago, and also a day before my sweet sixteen birthday, they left. A family that meant a lot to me. A family that was like my second family. My second parents left. My little brother left. My big brother left. My best friend left. And, who I thought was the love of my life, left. They all left. Only a day before my birthday. And since then, I never heard a word from them.



"WHAT?" I screamed to Joe. "What do you mean you're leaving tonight?"

"I am really sorry Meg. I didn't mean to tell you this late but I just couldn't find the right time." He said looking at me with pleading eyes.

"Why? Why are you all leaving?" I said feeling my eyes start to water.

"Megan, we have to. Please understand that this is a once in a lifetime opportunity."

"I know," I said looking down at my feet. "But, what's going to happen? I mean, between us?"

"Nothing, nothing's gonna happen because," he said cupping my face with his hands."I promiseyou we will keep in touch. I'm going to call you and write you. It'll be like we're still here. It's going to be like I'm still here."

"Promise?" I asked and felt a tear run down my cheek and he wiped it with his thumb.

"Promise."

Those words still hurt me like crazy. Every time I think about it or them I feel my heart hurt. He promised, he promised me he would still call me and it'd be like nothing had happened. But it wasn't like that. It was as though he forgot completely about me. I saw him on TV and everything but it wasn't the same.

I would see him on every talk show, interview, or listen to them on the radio. It hurt he forgot about everything. But what hurt the most was that I would see all those gossip shows when they'd talk about him and his girlfriends and think that that could be me. That that should be me.



We were all outside, my family and the Jonas family. We were saying our goodbyes. I was crying like crazy. First I said goodbye to Mr. And Mrs. Jonas, to me Paul and Denise. Then I said goodbye to Frankie. Then came Kevin.

"Lil' sis, don't forget to keep in touch okay? And behave. Promise me something," He said grabbing my shoulders. "Promise me that when you find someone you're going to tell me first. I have to approve your boyfriend okay?"

"Kevin..." I trailed off.

"Megan, I know you love him but right now it's just not possible. I know that one day, when it's the right time, life will-"

"May I?" Nick interrupted.

"Sure," Kevin said giving me a last hug. "Just don't forget that sissy." He said, gave me a kiss on the forehead and walked away.

"So," Nick started. I hugged him very tight.

"Nick, I'm gonna miss you so much." I was crying again.

"I'm going to miss you a lot, too. Please don't forget me. And don't forget to buy our album." I giggled.

"Never. I'll be your number one fan. So that place is taken already."

"Good. I'll see you Meg." he gave me one last hug.

"See you Nicky," I gave him a kiss on the cheek and messed his curls.

"Don't call me that." he frowned and joined the group behind me.

I felt a pair of arms wrap around my waist and a kiss on my temple.

"Meg," he whispered in my ear and spun me around. He buried his face in my neck and I felt the hot tears wet me. "I'm so sorry. And I feel horrible for leaving you. You don't have idea how important you are in my life. I don't know what I'm going to do without you. I'll think about you every second of the day. You'll be in my mind always."

"You too, Joe." I started crying again. Very, very hard.

"Joe, time to go!" Paul called from behind.

"I'm coming!" he answered. "Meg, I promise you something. One day, one day... I'm gonna make you Megan Jonas. I love you." he finished and gave me a soft kiss on the lips.

"Bye Joe." I said sobbing.

"Bye."

They all got in the car and pulled off the driveway waving. Joe was by the window and continued to wave until they were out of sight. I cried live never before.

"I love you too, Joe. And I hope you keep your promise." I said.

That night I didn't have dinner. All I could do was think how my life would change with half of my family away. With him away. I spent hours thinking about him and how all my dreams and hopes came crashing down. I was really praying for Joe's words to be true. I kept remembering all the memories we had together and his kiss was lingering until I cried myself to sleep.

Little did I know that all those promises were lies and that I would never hear from them again. I decided I wouldn't spend this day thinking about that. It was years ago. I got up and got ready to go to the mall to do some birthday shopping. My family was throwing me a party so I decided I would go shopping for something nice to wear. We were going to a fancy restaurant was all I was told.

I went shopping and found a perfect dress and matching shoes and clutch. I went home and went directly to my room. I turned on the TV and watched some random channel. After a while I got bored and decided to go for a walk.

I decided to go to the park. When I reached it it was nearly seven so the sun was setting. I sat on a bench and just admired the sunset. It made me remember all those times when Joe and I would come to the park just to watch the sunset together. The park brought me so many memories. Not only with him hut with the entire family. It was beautiful coming here and remember all those times. But somehow I always ended thinking of that day when with misty and swollen eyes we said goodbye.

I got lost in my thoughts until I felt a water drop run down my forehead. I looked up and it started to rain. I don't know why but I didn't move. I let the rain fall over me and the it came as a flash. The picture of me and Joe here, sitting on the same bench. It was the day our little flirting games started and our feelings for each other started to come out. He had brought me to the park to watch the sunset and it suddenly started to rain. I was freaking out because I was wearing my new dress (yeah I wore dresses) and because of the fact it was white so you know what would happen next. Also because of my hair. It would get all wet and ugly. But he had told me it didn't matter. He told me I always looked beautiful to him no matter what. And we let the rain get us soaking wet and danced under it. It was crazy, yet very cute and romantic.

I realized how crazy in love I was for him. He had me head over heels. I made so many plans with him. I had our whole life together planned. I got up and decided to go back home. I walked slowly. It wasn't like I would get any wetter.

I stopped when I was in front of that house. The house that brought me so many memories. Most of them very happy memories. But the last one wasn't. It was their house. The house where I would always be. Where you would always find me if I wasn't home. The house where infinite sleepovers took place. The house where our families would spend every holiday. The house where I got my fist kiss from the one boy I have loved in my life.

I was crying. Just standing there staring at the house. I went home. I couldn't believe how I never forgot about that. It was FOUR years ago. But somehow I couldn't. I stopped at a McDonalds and had a burger since I didn't need my mom asking me why I was all wet and crying while having dinner.

I went home and directly to my room.

We were going now to the restaurant where my little get together would be. I really didn't know who was attending because the rest of my family lived out of New Jersey and I didn't have friends here. I mean I do have friends but no real friends. My only real friends had been... Ok it's my birthday. I'm not going to think about that, them.

We went to the private room in the restaurant and when we entered I couldn't believe my eyes. They were all here. Four years later.

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" they all said at the same time.

"Thank you everyone for coming!"

I greeted my grandparents, my cousin, my aunt and my uncle. Then I went to Paul and Denise.

"Happy Birthday sweetheart!" Denise embraced me in a motherly hug.

"Thank you. And thank you so much for coming." Then Paul hugged me.

"It's been years! Just look at you. You've really grown up!"

Then I felt arms around my waist. A little person was hugging me. Oh how I had missed my little bro.

"Frankie!"

"Megan! Happy Birthday! I've missed you so much sissy!"

"Thank you! And I've missed you a lot, too! Wow you're so big!"

"Ha yeah! I was six last time you saw me." he said and walked away.

"Happy birthday little sis!"

"Kevin!" I gave him a tight hug.

"How have been?"

"Good. Nicky!" he hated it when I called him that.

"Just because it's your birthday." he walked to me and gave me a hug.

Then the whole room went quite. I guess everyone was expecting to see my reaction. Just then I realized it wasn't to them I was mad at. It was him. They hadn't promised. He had promised and didn't keep that promise.

"Happy Birthday Megan," he walked to me and gave me a hug. He still smelled the same. I couldn't help it and hugged him back. I had forgotten how much I loved being in his arms. He made me feel so safe. I let go.

"Thank you." I couldn't stand it anymore and went to sit between Nick and Kevin. Joe across from me.

We had dinner and caught up. My parents had missed their best friends too. Joe and I didn't share a word the entire dinner. We went home after that. The Jonas' too. Apparently dinner wasn't enough. While parents stayed in the dining room, the boys and I stayed in the living room. Frankie was upstairs in bed.

It seemed as if they had planned it. Kevin and Nick sat on the couch and Joe and I on the love seat, so I was forced to talk to him.

"How have you been Megan?"

"Not as good as you!" I was mad at him and couldn't help be rude.

"Okay... So, uhm, anything interesting has happened to you lately?"

"Why do you care?" I noticed then that Kevin and Nick had gone who know where.

"Uhm, sorry. Uhm, so, what do you want to talk about then?"

"I don't want to talk."

"Okay." he said. "Do you want to go for a walk then?"

"Ugh, fine."

We left the house and started walking. My feet hurt a little since I was still in heels.

We didn't talk until we reached the park. We sat on the same bench and he finally spoke.

"Megan, is there something wrong?"

"No."

"Are you sure? 'Cause it seems like there's something bothering you."

"No, Joe."

"Megan, I know you too well. What is it? Is there something wrong with me? Because it seems you dint want to talk to me or be with-"

"Ugh, fine! Do you want to know what's bothering me?! Well, yes indeed it's you!"

"But what did I do wrong?" he said with a worried expression.

"Everything! You set my hopes high and then broke my heart! I believed I you and you disappointed me!" Great! I was already crying.

"What are you talking about?!" He said raising his voice.

"You promised, Joe!  You promised me everything was going to be okay. You promised you wouldn't forget about me when you left. You promised you would call me! You kissed me, Joe! YOU KISSED ME! I was in love with you if you didn't notice! And you kissed me and then left! You forgot about me and left me waiting here as if nothing had happened! You broke my heart!"

"You don't say that! I didn't forget about you! I was in love with you too! You were the one who broke my heart!" Now we were both screaming.

"ME?!"

"YES YOU! You betrayed me!"  

"WHAT?!"

"You heard me! I didn't forget about you! I didn't lie to you! You betrayed me!"

"Huh?"

"Megan, I came to New Jersey a month after we left. I know you called me and left messages but I didn't answer because I knew that if I talked to you I'd tell you I was coming and it was supposed to be a surprise.

"You came here and didn't visit me?"

"I did. I went to your house and parked on the other side of the street. And just when I was about to get out and go and knock you opened the door. You got out with some guy. You hugged and I saw you kiss him. I saw you two kissing Megan!"

"What are-" and it hit me. It was Jake. "Oh, Joe let me explain you."

"You see! It's true! This is not my fault! It's yours!"

"Joe let me explain you! Please!" I begged.

"What? You want to explain me how you kissed some other guy just ONE month after I kissed you and told you we would get through anything!"

"No! It's not like that! I swear! He was Jake. He was one my classmates in Spanish. We had to do some project together so he came to my house. We weren't even friends. When he was leaving he told me that he liked me and I told him about you. But he insisted and the he kissed me. I didn't kiss him back! I swear!"

"Are you telling me the truth?"

"Of course I am! Joe, you know I can't lie to you." He just nodded. "So is that why you didn't talk to me anymore?"

"Yes. Megan I'm sorry. I know I should've asked you about it but I just couldn't. I was heartbroken. All these years everytime I thought about you that was all I saw. I saw you kissing that guy." He said.

"I'm so sorry. So, we wasted four years because of nothing?"

"It seems."

"Joe, can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can," he said stroking my cheek with his thumb. I felt my heart race like never before. Having him now, so close to me, looking at me, feeling his touch.

"Do you still love me?" I asked braking eye contact. He lifted my face by my chin and looked me in the eyes. He closed his eyes and I felt his lips on mine. I couldn't believe it. He was there. He was there four years later and he still loved me. I kissed him back and put my arms around his neck. He put his hand on my waist. We broke apart but kept holding each other.

"I love you more than anything Megan. I never stopped loving you. I'm sorry for not calling you and for making you feel like I had forgotten about you. It was just that I loved you so much that I thought you were happy with that guy and all I want is for you to be happy. It doesn't matter with who. Of course now that I know the truth I don't mind being that one." I kissed him.

"You've always been the one."

"Good." he smiled at me. He stood up and held out his hand for me. "Do you want to dance me?"

"What?" I laughed. "We don't have music."

"It doesn't matter. We used to dance with no music playing, remember?" I took his hand and we danced together. I was almost magical. It felt like a dream. He was there, with me, dancing with no music playing, in the middle of the night, at the park, and with ten million fireflies surrounding us. I kissed him. I kissed him passionately. I felt him smile into the kiss. Suddenly it started to rain and he started to laugh.

"What?" I asked.

"Can you believe this? It's almost surreal. And it's like that time I brought you here and started to rain. You were wearing a white dress too. And we were dancing too."

"But we weren't together."

"True. And, I couldn't do this," he kissed me again.

I couldn't believe how that became the best birthday of my life. With the love of my life dancing and kissing like dorks under the pouring rain with ten million fireflies.

***

it's funny to think about that now, six years later. Now we're both 26. I love to look back and remember our love story. He makes me really happy. He's everything I could ask for. It makes me happy to know that he did keep his promise, the best promise he could have promised me, and made me Mrs. Megan Jonas.