We Knew That Time Would Kill Us

A lot of things can happen in the span of just a few short months. Things that alter the way you look at life can happen before you can so much as even blink.

I stared lifelessly into the mirror, my bright red hair no longer visible, and my complexion was paler than ever. My outfit consisted of grey polyester pants and the same toneless long-sleeved shirt, its stand up collar brushing awkwardly against my neck. A long, jagged scar ran vertically down the right side of my cheek from my eye to my jawbone.

Exhausted, I rubbed my eyebrow and leaned against the counter for support. I hadn’t gotten much sleep in the past few days, and it was really beginning to wear down on me.

“Mini! Are you ready?” Jimmy’s voice coupled with his fist pounding on my bathroom door knocked me out of my trance and I stared at the door for a few moments, hoping he would give up and go bug Matt or someone else for a little while. “If you don’t haul your scrawny ass out here right fucking now I’m going to break the door down!”

“But—but Jimmy,” I began in protest, resting my back against the door he was still pounding on and focused on the fluorescent lights, but then having to look away as it was giving me a slight headache. “I look like a douche bag!”

No, I didn’t have a life threatening disease. My hair was covered in a ridiculous bald cap and the girls had slathered some Halloween makeup on me earlier, making me even paler than usual.

It was the night before Halloween, and everyone was going to a huge Halloween-themed party at Brian and Michelle’s house. I mean everyone. Not just the gang, but other people. Celebrities. Musicians. I hadn’t slept at all the night before because of that, I was going to meet quite a few of my idols and I was nervous as hell.

Unfortunately, I had to have my first encounter with my idols in a Mini-Me outfit. As in, Dr. Evil and Mini-Me. Matt and I had collaborated, meaning he was going as Dr. Evil. It hadn’t been our idea, of course, but Jimmy had insisted on it since he came up with it all the way back in August. It wasn’t so bad for Matt though, since he had no hair that he had to cover up.

“You do not! You’re ah-fucking-dorable! I’m counting to three. One—” A soft kick rattled the door, immediately making me tense. “Two—” Anther kick was landed on my door, but this time it was much harder than the last. “Three!”

Before he could quite possibly knock my door down, I hastily unlocked and whipped it open, glaring up at the tall man who wore a white, itchy looking turtle neck under a yellow and black striped shirt. He was going as Bert, as in from Sesame Street. And Johnny, who I was sure was straggling around the house somewhere, was going as Ernie. Of course they were.

“You are! Mini, you’re so goddamn cute!” He said, abruptly bringing me into a hug and nearly squeezing what life was left out of me in the process. I gave him a hollow smile when he pulled away, squinting up at him. I felt weighed down and constricted with all of my hair piled on top of my head and packed down under the bald cap, but I knew there was no use in complaining.

There was no way I was getting out of this one, Jimmy had drilled the idea into our head long ago and he was just so excited that we used his idea (as if we had much of a choice) that I felt bad for not being as thrilled as he seemed to be.

“Alright, come on! We don’t have all night you know!” He said in a fake, snobbish tone, and I let out a few giggles. Taking hold of my forearm and all but dragging me out of the bathroom, and then completely out of my room. I barely even had enough time to grab my bag with a change of clothes in it.

Soon, we were at the foot of the stairs where everyone had gathered, with the exception of Brian and Michelle of course. The girls had collaborated too, which seemed to be the basis of almost everyone’s theme this year, and they were all going as Disney princesses. Zacky had done something similar, and went as a young Walt Disney.

All of the girls cooed as soon as they saw me, which only made me look down and roll my eyes. How anyone could think that a bald midget with a scar resembling something like the result of a prison fight running the course of their cheek was cute was beyond me.

I laughed a little as Leana high-fived Jimmy and told him how awesome his idea had turned out to be. Matt grinned and slung an arm over my shoulder as we made our way out the front door, he too was dressed in the same dreary grey suit, with pale makeup and a replica of my scar. I had to admit, we did look scarily alike.

“So—uh, Matt,” I began nervously after I’d gotten buckled into the back seat of his SUV, Val in the front with Zacky and Gena beside me. I still wasn’t fully accustomed to calling him ‘dad’ all the time and I often varied from that to his actual name. “Who’s gonna be there? Like uh—you know,” Silently, I cussed at myself for letting my nervousness show through.

Thankfully though, Matt seemed to know where I was trying to go with it and smirked at me through the rear-view mirror. “Just some friends and family and whatnot. Maybe a couple of bands like Good Charlotte and Bullet For My Valentine,” I gulped at the mentioning of such huge names, and what he said next almost made me crap my pants then and there. “And Slash, too.”

He said in such a nonchalant tone, it almost made me think that my idol being there wasn’t such a big deal. No, I hadn’t met him yet. I’d passed up on Matt’s previous offers to meet him, solely for the fact that I knew I would more than likely make a fool out of myself.

“Oh—oh. That’s... that’s cool I guess.” I said, taking the same tone as he was using, but my palms were sweating and my heart began pounding in panic. I tuned out, trying to think about other, less terrifying things than meeting a bunch of rock stars.

Six entire months had uneventfully (in my opinion, at least) passed, and not much has happened. I was fifteen since the twelfth of October, and officially a sophomore. Nothing has changed much in school, other than the fact that Andrew Steinway was no longer allowed to be within one hundred feet of me, and that of course resulted in him having to switch schools.

Yes, things had gotten better. I no longer had a kid and his crazy bitch of a girlfriend out to get me. The guys had finished tracking their new album last month, it was currently being mixed and it was due out sometime in December. Don’t get me wrong, it was an amazing thing to witness, but I would not contribute to it even though Matt had wanted me to sing with him on a certain song.

But this was their record. They had put their heart and soul into every last little detail of this album, and I didn’t want to take any credit when I didn’t deserve any because I had done nothing for it. Singing on a song I didn’t help create seemed almost wrong to me—as if I were stealing someone else’s creation. Besides, my voice wasn’t anywhere near good enough to actually be recorded anyway.

My mind drifted to other things, things that seemed like they had happened so long ago, yet they still had the same impact on me each time I thought about them. Like my best friend (I hadn’t been able to stop myself from still calling him that) whom I hadn’t talked to since that one night when Andy assaulted me. I hadn’t heard a word from Derek or Melissa since then, either, and I honestly didn’t want to know what exactly he had told them about what happened when he was visiting.

There was one more thing that always seemed to be lingering in the back of my mind, too. Coming up in December, it would be the anniversary of my mother’s death. I didn’t know what was going to happen, or how I was going to react. Would it be a day like any other? Would I act as if everything was okay, like usual? Again, I didn’t know, but I doubted it. An entire year without my mother, and counted myself lucky for surviving it. How could it be a normal day?

These past few months had gone so slowly, but at the same time, every day felt exactly the same as the last. I wanted things to speed up, to get things over with. The thing was though, I didn’t know what exactly I wanted to be over with, either.

No, things were better, I told myself, I’m just over thinking things. I was analyzing things that didn’t need to be analyzed. I just needed to calm down; I was freaking myself out over meeting a bunch of musicians, resulting in me freaking out about other things. Things I didn’t even want to think about.

I didn’t need to think about any of that, because I was fine. Things were better.

“P? Patey—Payton!” Matt called from the front seat, and my eyes snapped up toward him.

“Yeah?” I asked, out of my daze. It was then I realized that I’d zoned out for the entire car ride, and he was standing outside the SUV, looking back at me. Once I met his gaze, he gave me a worried frown and nodded toward Brian’smansion house.

“You ready?” He asked, trying to keep a smile up although worry clearly shone through his eyes.

Silently, I nodded, giving him a grin as I opened the door and climbed down from the huge SUV, making sure not to trip on my crappy little Mini-Me-esque slippers. Matt and I quickly caught up to everyone else, falling into step with Jimmy, Leana and Val.

“Everything’s gonna be fine, Min,” Jimmy mumbled comfortingly when we were halfway up the exceedingly long walkway that lead up to Syn’s house. Normally, that would have comforted me, but the smirk he was wearing made me feel anything but comforted, and I immediately grew wary. “Nothin’ to worry about.”

Leana nudged him, sending a glare up at him. I stopped walking then, but Matt held my hand and pretty much began dragging me up toward the front door. “What do you have planned?” I asked, my nerves acting up all over again.

Of course, no one answered me, as if I had been expecting an answer anyway? And Jimmy commenced in ringing the doorbell before he too took my other arm in his grasp, thoroughly halting all of the struggling I’d been doing with Matt. The door opened in a split second, and Brian stood there, grinning as if he’d been waiting for us to get there.

If I hadn't been so nervous and paranoid, I would have laughed at his costume. For what I could tell, he was dressed up as a crude version of Zacky with a thick black line of makeup under each eye, lipstick pretty much all over his face, and a Vengeance University t-shirt.

The house was eerily quiet and vacant. Wasn’t there supposed to be blaring music and people chugging alcohol like I had imagined? Some party this was.

Brian walked with us, or well, behind us, watching my every move as we made our way out of the foyer. The only thing running through my mind then was what the fuck was going on?!

As soon as I had thought that, my question was answered. By hundreds of screaming people.

“Surprise!”