We Knew That Time Would Kill Us

“So...” Brian said across from where I was standing, leaning on what little of the 'kitchen counter' he could. Zacky was beside him as usual, and the rest of the guys were staring from the living area.

“So?” I asked warily when he didn't elaborate any further. He obviously wanted to tell me something, but I just wished he would hurry up and spit it out. It was all but killing me not knowing.

After another long pause, he abruptly began smirking. I didn't take that as a good sign, then. A smirking Brian was always up to something. “Where were you these last few shows?” He asked coyly, his smirking intensifying, as did Zacky's. I did not know how much everyone knew of my whereabouts while they were performing, but I knew then they were beginning to wonder.

His question made me falter slightly, but nonetheless I mimicked his cocky smirk. “I see enough of you guys on the bus as it is. I'd much rather be sleeping or relaxing than watching your show.”

In the blink of an eye, all the guys began either bitching or begging me to watch the show tonight. Okay, so maybe I'd chosen the wrong thing to say... “Please, Mini!” Jimmy screamed as he dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around my legs as he looked up at me with a pout. “I'll prove to you that we're not just your boring old uncles! Just watch us tonight. Please?!”

Thinking Jimmy's begging would be enough to convince me to watch the show, all the guys went back to wearing their usual smirk. I really didn't mind watching their shows show, I actually enjoyed it quite a bit, but the hour or so while they were performing was the only time I got with Evan and the boys.

I could just tell him the truth. That I wanted to hang out with my friends. The opening band. If I hadn't lied to everyone countless times about it already, I'm sure that it would have been an acceptable thing to say. But no... I'd dug myself down to far this time around. If I could help it, they wouldn't find out about my constant rendezvous' with the boys of Wretched Remorse for a long, long time.

“I dunno, you guys—”

“Are you worried we're gonna bring you onstage again?” When I shook my head, Matt looked at me skeptically. “Well what's wrong? What's so important you could be doing while we're performing, then?”

Once again, Brian got that shit-eating grin on his face. “Yeah Peanut, watching us should be the highlight of your night.”

Both Johnny and Zacky observed me quietly, not taking part in their usual banter for the most part. They'd been quiet throughout the entire conversation, and that admittedly worried me a little.

That was it then. I had no choice but to agree to go along. If not, Jimmy would be crushed and the rest of the guys would grow even more suspicious of my whereabouts for the hour I got alone every two nights or so. “Okay, fine,” I finally agreed, cracking a smile. “I'll watch your show tonight.” I guess I was going to have to go without seeing the boys for once night...

“Muah, muah! I love you, you adorable little shit!” Jimmy yelled, attempting a Russian accent as he gave me a sloppy kiss on each cheek. When he turned away, I grimaced and wiped away any Jimmy-residue that may have been remaining on my face. Everyone laughed at that, only making Jimmy pout.

With just over an hour to spare before we arrived at the venue, I turned on my heel and headed back to the bunks. The guys were pretty much in their own world, and I sincerely doubted they would even notice my absence.

My phone didn’t even ring twice until Dannii picked it up. “Payton, holy shit! I found out why, why he got into so much trouble with the cops!”

Normally I wouldn’t have laughed at how urgent and utterly out of her mind Dannii sounded at that moment, but because she basically started screaming before I could even get a ‘hello’ out, I was slightly confused. “Wait... what? Who?”

Somehow, thinking about the police and an unnamed ‘him’’ I almost thought, just for once small, split second, that Dannii was talking about Tyler. My throat instantly clogged at just the thought of him.

Secretly, I always wondered about him. I mean, a person couldn’t be that heavily involved in drugs and not had at least a couple of run in’s with the police. And even after everything, it would break my heart to see him in any kind of trouble.

“The pope. Evan, you dumb shit!”

As she said this, all of my fears were realized. It wasn’t any of the other band members that had gotten into trouble with the law. It was Evan. The boy I had what seemed to be a major crush on. Up until then, I hadn’t even thought of him as that much of a bad boy. Did I even want a bad boy?

“Oh my god. He murdered someone, didn’t he? I knew it. No one can be that good looking and not be fucked up in some way!” I rambled, as loud as I possibly could without drawing attention to myself from the guys.

“Payton, calm your fucking hormones and let me explain!” When several moments passed and I thankfully remained silent, Dannii finally sighed and continued. “Alright, I know they must be at an all-time high right now, so thank you for actually calming your hormones. Anyway, his sister, Kaitlin, Casey... Kara...”

“Katie?” I all but squeaked through the phone, letting a shimmer of hope filter through my voice.

“Yes, that’s it!” Dannii yelled, and I laughed slightly as I could hear her snapping her fingers in the background. “Yeah. So Katie... well, to be blunt, she got raped.” Once again, Dannii paused as she waited for her words to sink.

Fearing she would grow frustrated with me again if I chose to comment, I kept quiet as I waited for her to elaborate. “Apparently when Evan found out he went effing berserk. He almost beat the guy to death.”

At that, I let a small gasp escape my lips but nothing more than that. “I know P, I know. But I can sort of see his reasoning behind it, as I know someone with a similar temper.”

On one hand I was glad Evan didn’t randomly beat some guy down and he didn’t have some psycho ex-girlfriend I had to worry about. But on the other, like Dannii said, our tempers were similar. And when you put two people with such hot tempers together, the results surely wouldn’t be good.

What happened with his sister was completely fucked up, and I knew that if I were in his position I would have done the exact same thing. Without a second thought. “Shit. I mean, I understand why he would go off like that but... shit,” I mumbled, still in shock.

“I know. I couldn’t believe it either. But Patey... there’s more.” I let out a long groan as she said that, not really caring then if the guys heard me or not. “But I’m not telling you!” She screamed, nearly at the top of her lungs.

“What? And why the fuck not?” I demanded, somewhat offensively. What could possibly be so bad about Evan that Dannii couldn’t even tell me over the phone?

“Listen, I’ll tell you about it if things between you and Evan don’t work out. But just in case they do, I don’t want out to hear this from me.”

After letting out another groan, I began begging Dannii just as Jimmy had done with me minutes earlier. It’s for your own good P. I’m not ruining this relationship before it’s even begun. I have to go, but call me later okay?”

“Wait, wait! Dannii—come on—” When all I heard won the other end was the lonely sound of the dial tone, I let out another sigh and threw my phone to the foot of my bunk. Whatever Dannii was refusing to tell me for the time being had to be at the very least not good, and I was anxious for the show tonight because of that. Since I had to watch A7X’s show to keep up appearances with Matt, was I going to see Evan tonight? And was I ever going to find out the truth about him?

Later that night, I was watching A7X from the side of the stage exactly as I’d promised the guys. To make sure I wasn’t going to sneak off like I’d been sort of hoping to, Matt and the rest of the guys kept shooting me warning glances whenever they could.

I hadn’t even asked to go down and see the show with the crowd, knowing there was absolutely no chance of dad letting me. Although I was willing to bet it would have put the show in to a much different perspective.

For the half hour I’d been there so far, I hadn’t even gotten a glimpse of any of the boys from Wretched Remorse. I was partially watching the show, partially zoning out. Why couldn’t Dannii just tell me before I got too involved with Evan? I wanted to know before I got any closer to him.

“So what were you doing, stalking me last night?” A cold, familiar voice as behind me, and I could feel Evan stand uncomfortably close to me as he spoke into my ear so I could hear him. I remained still in front of him, refusing to let it show how much he’d startled me and aware of how easy it would have been for any one of the guys to just glance over at that exact moment.

“It was a public parking lot, you know. And it was way too stuffy in there; I had to get some fresh air.” I said loudly, hoping he would hear me because I was definitely not leaning back into his ear. As I spoke, I backed away slightly so I was just out of sight from the guys. Carefully, I chose my next words when Evan didn’t reply. “What was that about last night, though?”

That seemed to hit a nerve for him, and he backed away as if I told him I wanted to brand him. “And why the fuck should I tell you?” He asked, venom seeping through in his tone.

Defensively, I help up my hands and looked up at him questioningly. “I was just asking. You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” I said sincerely, actually meaning it. It looked like it was very hard for Evan to even skirt around the subject, and if it was going to damage our non-existent relationship I didn’t want to bring it up again; at least for a little while.

One long moment passed by and he simply stared at me, his gaze wondering, that was until one of Matt’s piercing screams made me jump out of my skin. I could tell he was surprised I’d let that go so easily, but I understood more than he thought. I knew exactly how hard it could be to talk, or even think, about things. “I’m not supposed to be hanging out with you,” I blurted out quickly, why was I always so honest with him? “I guess—I guess my dad has heard some things about you guys, and he doesn’t think I should be seeing you.”

He seemingly was not fazed at all by my new confession, simply nodding and smiling. “Thank you, for not pushing it.” He mumbled, and I almost didn’t catch it.

“You’re welcome. I know how hard it can be to talk about things.” I replied, sneaking a peek back to the stage. I didn’t want any of the guys to notice my disappearance.

“Well, I’ll get out of your way I guess. Don’t want you getting into too much trouble, yet.” He said, his usual smirk placed back onto its original place.

I let out a much needed laugh at that. “Yeah, Matt’ll get pissy if I don’t watch. I promised everyone I would.”

That may have been the most truthful conversation I’d had in a long time, but as I watched Evan stalk away and back to his band mates, I had way too many things on my mind. The whole point of this tour was to relax and not think about things, but it seems that since it started, all of the complications had doubled in size.

And eventually, I knew I was going to have to work them all out. Somehow.