We Knew That Time Would Kill Us

Things since the last tour date when Brett had confronted me about my feelings for Evan had been... okay. The boys had been acting as happy-go-lucky as they had always been, as was Jimmy, but I was pretty sure there wasn’t much that could bring that lunatic down. The rest of the guys, though... they had been acting oddly. Not only were they quieter than usual, but Matt was being pretty obvious about it. Apparently something was up.

Everything he said always managed to come back to me. For instance, when Brian asked what time they were heading into the next venue, Matt said that ‘He’s going around six or so, but Payton can go earlier if she feels like it.’

I did not like that. It felt as if he were watching my every move, like I had absolutely no space whatsoever. It was very quickly pissing me off, and if we hadn’t left for the show early I would have snapped.

I was worried. What did he know? And why was he acting so... oddly about it? Before, if he knew something about me that I was keeping secret, he would just come right out and tell me. So if he did know something, why couldn’t he just do the same thing he had always been doing? It felt like he was giving me a chance to own up to whatever he thought he knew about me, but I couldn’t be too sure.

Once again, I was hanging out with the boys while A7X was on stage performing. However, with all of the happenings with Matt and the guys just a few hours earlier, I was really feeling up to goofing off with them. Thankfully though, Evan had chosen to sit next to me and just relax as we watched everything go on.

“You know what?” Noah asked suddenly, skidding to a halt in front of us as he scratched his head in wonder. “I think you guys would make a cah-ute couple!”

Instantly, I felt the blush creep up my neck. Oliver noticed as he usually did, the kid was too observant for his own good, and whispered into Brett’s ear. “Alright come on you weirdo, you’re freaking everyone out.” Brett said, literally grabbing Noah by the ear and that only led to dragging him out, kicking and screaming.

Evan smiled at their retreating figures, but once he turned back to me he grew nervous. It was obvious the rest of the boys had left because they knew (Or well... with the exception of Noah) Evan and I needed some time alone. And I may have been just as or even more nervous than him, but I could not get over how cute his nervous smile was, much more attractive than his usual smirk in my opinion.

His eyes flickered from meeting mine to the floor, and as he did this I noticed the roadie, the one from the night before, stalking his way through the crowd of roadies, the scattered fans, and all the other straggled who had decided against actually attending the show. His gaze met mine for a split second, and then he took off running. I had more important things on my mind then, or people, so I ignored the odd kid who seemed frightened of my appearance.

The way Evan bit his lip and his hand trembled just slightly as he reached for mine was absolutely adorable. I’d never seen this side of him before. “Listen, Payton,” He began, this time locking his hazel eyes with mine and keeping them there. “I really like you a lot, but if this is going to work there are some things I have to tell you about first...” He trailed off, then winced as if I were about to reject him.

This was insane for me. Was something actually going right for me for once? And he was going to willing explain what Dannii had been keeping from me about him? This was just too good to be true...

In the background, there was some shouting but there was always a lot of that at shows, so I tuned that out, too. I nodded slightly, smiling at him. “I do too, Evan. There are a couple of things I want to tell you, too."

“Okay—well, do you wanna go for a walk, and we can talk then?” He looked utterly relieved and happy once he heard that, and I found myself feeling stupid and ditsy for having to hold back a giggle while I nodded one more time.

We both stood, Evan not letting go of my hand which only made me grin up at him.

“Payton!”

Gulping, I jumped away from Evan’s hand as if it burned me. There was no mistaking Matt’s voice. Not only was it as loud and thunderous as ever, but he was using the deep, utterly fucking scary tone he used when I was in a shitload of trouble.

Just after his yell, I was pulled back several feet away from Evan and Matt arms came around my shoulder, almost protectively, as he stared at Evan as if he wanted to rip him to shreds.

Fortunately, Evan was staring back at him with a neutral expression, observing Matt’s defensive stance and the ‘don’t fuck up’ look on my face. I was shocked, though. Matt was supposed to be on stage, and more than likely into the second half of the band’s set list. The last thing I wanted was an argument on both sides.

Right then, all of Matt’s anger was focused on Evan, and he obviously just wanted to get me away from him for some godforsaken reason. Evan however, all but ignored him as he stuck his hands in his pockets and smiled slightly at me. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later Payton...” He said, turning around to walk away.

“Yeah, no you fucking won’t,” Matt snapped, his voice as loud as ever. Evan didn’t look back, though. “Fuckin’ punk...” He grumbled, then turned back toward the ‘exit’ door and began all but dragging me out.

I was caught then, and there was much I could do or say to make the situation any better in my favour. It hadn’t even really sunk in yet, but I knew this had to come sometime. I couldn’t keep up with all the lying, all the shenanigans any longer than I’d already managed to.

Maybe I’d been caught in the worst way possible, but I just wanted to get the brute of Matt’s anger over with, and it hadn’t even started to focus on me. When I noticed our bus not far away, I figured I should say something. “Why—why aren’t you onstage?” I asked, my voice sounding vague and almost out of it. I was feeling pretty numb, and my tone certainly reflected that. It was almost as if I’d gone into shock.

As quickly as that had come out of my mouth, he stopped and turned me so I was facing him. “Who gives a fuck about that, Payton?” He snapped, and by then we were nearing the bus. “I wanna know why you were hanging out with a bunch of punks and why you thought you couldn’t tell me!”

His thundering voice somewhat snapped me out of my almost-daze, and I matched his glare with my own harsh one. “They’re not ‘a bunch of punks.’ And I already told you I was with them once, and you overreacted! I wasn’t going to tell you a second time.” I replied, still holding my ground. “And you didn’t specifically say I couldn’t hang out with them!”

“Okay, so what did I say exactly, then?” He demanded, his gaze never softening.

That was easy. “That you thought me hanging out with them wasn’t a good idea.”

“Well, in that case I’m specifically telling you now, you’re not allowed to even go near them anymore, Payton.” My fists clenched as he said this, and I found that I couldn’t even meet his eyes because I was so angry. “I know you’ve kept things from me before, but this is just going too far. They’re a bad influence on you.”

Them a bad influence on me? I’d been the most truthful in the last few weeks than I have in months, so I would have said their company was doing me good, and a world of it, too. “But—but that’s not fair!” I protested. “Just let me explain. You don’t even know them!”

Before I could ramble any longer, Matt sent me another glare and held up his hand, making me stop short. “I have to go finish the show—”

“I thought you didn’t give a fuck about the show!” I yelled, exasperated with him.

For a moment, he pulled back, looking shocked, but then he quickly recuperated. “Do not get smart with me, Payton!” He growled, and I involuntarily shivered, wishing I could go into the bus already. It was freezing out and all I had on was a hoodie. “I have to go finish the show, but if I even hear about you getting off this bus I swear Payton, you’re on the next flight back to Huntington.”

Quickly, that shut me up in an instant. I remained quiet as he escorted me onto the bus. “I suggest you think about what you’re going to say, because when we get back we are going to have a talk.” Shortly after he said that, he left. His angry, heavy footsteps could be heard several yards away from the bus. Once again I was shocked, where had that even come from?

And more importantly, was he serious about his threat? My insides were already feeling like they were freezing over at the thought of going home. Not only would I be without my newfound friends and possibly (if Matt hadn’t interrupted) boyfriend, but I wouldn’t have the guys around to distract me from my thoughts, either.

Basically, I had an hour, maybe two tops because I was sure Matt wouldn’t want to be dealing with the fans tonight, to think about what exactly I was going to say to him and what I wasn’t. I had to think everything through, because I had to be at least a little coherent when he demanded to know what the fuck I’d been thinking these past few weeks.

I didn’t even know where to start anymore.