We Knew That Time Would Kill Us

Surprises don’t go over too well with me anymore.

Ever since my last surprise ended in disaster and one less friend, I almost had an irrational fear of surprises. But I wasn’t going to have a freak out over this. At least not right then when I was clutching Matt’s sleeve as if he could save me from all the laughing and screaming people.

How would the guys know that, though? They wouldn’t, and I didn’t blame them for it. And I was overwhelmed with how much work they had put into this just for me.

Matt stared down at me, grinning, excited yet apprehensive at the same time. I could not meet his gaze as I stared wide-eyed at easily hundreds of people. Some I recognized, and some I didn’t. One thing was for sure though, everyone was either famous in some way or they knew a famous person attending the party well enough to get in.

I decided to give them a mushy moment and pulled him into a hug, burying my head in his shoulder to hide my embarrassment as everyone continued to cheer. “Thank you.” I told everyone with a grin after I pulled away, even though my heart was still squeezing and constricting painfully in panic. I wasn’t one for crowds, either, especially one of such a volume as this one.

“Payton!” I heard a familiar voice yell over the crowd of buzzing people, and my ears pricked at the sound of it. I looked around excitedly, and then found her.

Dannii stood a few feet away from me, looking nervous yet overjoyed at the same time. I think she may have been dealing with being surrounded by celebrities better than I was. We both laughed as we hugged each other and we pulled away, scrutinizing each other’s costume before letting out another laugh. She had went as Robin Hood, and I was slightly envious. I would take some tights and a pimp-like feathered hat over the dull grey suit and bald cap I was wearing any day of the week.

Suck it up. Everyone had gone through so much trouble just for me, as if I even deserved any of this with all the lying I had done. It was nice to know that they all cared for me enough to do this, though—it made me feel like everyone really wanted me around—that I wasn’t just some kid Matt had been forced to take in. The least I could do was go along with their antics and wear the silly costume.

The crowd was still laughing, and I couldn’t hold anyone’s gaze for any longer than a few seconds, I mentally cussed at myself for being so shy. Turning around, I sent a playful glare at all of the guys and girls who were still waiting for my reaction. “You were all in on this, weren’t you?” I asked, gesturing toward everyone with the sweep of my hand. Everyone gave me a hesitant, yet excited nod. They probably thought I would bitch at them.

“Thank you,” I repeated, sincerely. They had no idea how thankful I was for this. No one had ever done something so amazing for me before, and I had to fight back tears again.

Speaking of crying—the girls all looks like they were on the verge of tears, and at once they all bombarded me in a hug, only pulling away when they’d each gotten a chance to tell me how much they loved me. That almost sent me over the edge; until now they hadn’t really been as mushy as they were being at that moment.

Matt popped up in front of me seemingly out of nowhere, smirking at me as a group of guys trailed behind him. Three of the guys had dreads, but the other looked just as metal as the others. “Payton, these guys are close friends of ours, from a band called Korn.”

Nuh. As if I didn’t know that from taking my first glance at them. I stood beside Dannii, resisting the urge to shrink behind her as all of the men smiled at us. As unapproachable as they looked, each of them seemed friendly enough. Matt went on to introduce them individually, and I gave them a meek wave, and the two guys Matt introduced as ‘Munky’ and ‘Fieldy’ mockingly returned. That only made Dannii and I grin at them. Yes, they were friendly enough.

After they wished me a happy birthday, they began chatting with Matt and the guys, and Dannii and I ‘discreetly’ slipped away. ‘Discreetly’ meant that I tripped over my crappy little grey slippers, causing everyone around us, including the members of Korn to chuckle at our escape attempt.

We sat down on one of the sofas in Brian’s large ‘main’ living room. “I’ve never been around so many famous people in my entire life,” I mumbled as I stole glances around the room, instantly recognizing members of Good Charlotte, who were already looking our way, and members from a few other bands.

The only thing I was wondering about was how the hell the guys managed to pull all of this off. I had almost forgotten that they were famous, too, and that they actually knew and were friends with all of these people. It was all still so surreal. Dannii gave me a look. “Ditto, P. Ditto.” She said breathlessly, she too sneaking peeks at all the people surrounding us.

A skeletal hand gripped my shoulder out of nowhere, and I let out a small squeak before jumping up and turning to face where the hand had come from. Benji Madden stood there, along with Joel, waving around the fake skeleton hand that had been on my shoulder and grinning cheekily.

Staring, Dannii glanced between us and gave me a look that said ‘you just got pranked by Benji fucking Madden!’ before she hastily stood up, offering her hand to them. “Hello, I’m Dannii, Payton’s friend!” They both laughed and shook her hand, while I simply stood there, smiling until they took a seat across from us on a loveseat. I too sat down, feeling awkward for standing up for as long as I had.

“So Payton, how’s this for a surprise birthday party?” Joel asked, humour in his tone.

“It was a shock, that’s for sure,” I replied, and I found myself lucky to even get that out. Dannii took charge of the conversation then, and I couldn’t help but smile and feel grateful for having made such a great friend.

She too had been almost too forgiving with me. I knew that she had liked Tyler quite a bit, and I can’t imagine how she felt when she came over to the house the day after the last night I’d seen him to see me, battered and bruised and Tyler nowhere to be seen.

It had been so hard explaining everything to her, but I had, and amazingly she understood. She knew that Tyler was once a good person; if he hadn’t been then I wouldn’t have even introduced them, and that he’d turned into a not so good guy. Thankfully, she had taken all of it so well.

Minutes into the conversation that I hadn’t really taken part in, I excused myself to the bathroom. I was sure Dannii didn’t mind in the slightest, she looked completely comfortably conversing with Benji and Joel, and once I got to the bathroom I let out a long, relieved sigh. I never thought keeping my emotions in check would be so hard.

Most of what I was feeling was happiness, yet this ‘surprise’ had brought back memories of Tyler’s last and final visit. How things had gone badly in such a short span of time, from complete bliss to losing the only link I had left to that tiny town I had come from.

If my friendship with him had slipped away seemingly in the blink of an eye, what made me think any of this would last? Scared couldn’t even begin to describe how I was feeling. I knew it was irrational, though. Things were going okay; I had absolutely no reason to believe my family was going to leave me.

This shouldn’t have even been a surprise to me. I should have known that the guys had their ‘go big or go home’ attitudes with everything, and the small, family-based birthday party that they’d had for me earlier that month hadn’t been enough for them. It had been for me, though. More than enough, actually.

Needing to distract myself, I all but tore my bald cap off and instantly felt relief when my hair was let down. After getting a brush from my bag and combing through it, I decided to leave it down. Besides, pretty much everyone had seen me in my costume, and even with hair it was pretty obvious as to what I was going as. If Matt got upset about it though, I promised I would put it back on. I also traded my slippers for a pair of Chuck Taylors too, knowing that if I didn’t, more accidents were bound to happen.

Just calm down. I was over-thinking things again, reading into the situation much more than it needed to be. What I needed was to relax and enjoy my birthday party.

With that final thought, I sucked in a deep breath before exiting the bathroom, putting on a brave smile as I went back to where I had been sitting with Dannii and the Madden’s. They weren’t in their original spot, but in the next room standing around the huge island with Zacky and Syn. It was comical to see them standing next to each other, but Zacky didn’t seem to mind Syn mocking his appearance in the slightest. Hell, he was probably enjoying it.

As soon as they saw me, they began hauling me off with Dannii and the Madden twins following close behind. Zacky and Brian both wore knowing smirks, glancing at me in apprehension as they continued to haul me off to an unknown destination.

Soon, we were outside and I saw a small stage was set up in the center of Syn’s huge back yard. It was slightly cold out, but oddly warm for an October night, even for California. They didn’t stop there, and pressed on until we were standing at the side of the stage, and once we were there they attempted to make small talk. I was in no mood for it though, anticipating the next ‘surprise’ they had in store for me. After all, they didn’t just drag me all the way out there for no reason.

My breath caught in my throat when Matt and Val approached, but they weren’t alone. Oh, no. They definitely were not alone. I could recognize the velvet top-hat and crazy wild hair in a sea of 80’s metal cover bands. He wasn’t in a costume, but I didn’t consider it conceited if he had gone as himself. I clutched onto Syn’s arm, not even being aware of the action.

“Slash, Payton. Payton, Slash,” Matt quickly introduced, only giving Slash a second to nod and wink at me before launching into what was happening. “So here’s what’s gonna go down. Payton you’re gonna take this guitar,” He produced one of Slash’s custom Les Paul’s, handing it out for me to take. I did so numbly, knowing and fearing where this was going. “Get up on stage and perform a solo with Slash.”

Kill me now. Please.

How had I not noticed Slash holding his own guitar before then? And more importantly, how on earth did they think I could even think coherently around Slash, let alone perform a fucking solo with him? As good as I was with a guitar, I considered my skills nothing compared to what Slash could do.

I didn’t have time to protest or even think things over like, what fucking solo? Because it was as if I had floated up onto the stage, but I quickly realized that Zacky had pulled me up there. I held onto his sleeve, refusing to look anywhere else (including the crowd that was beginning to form at the front of the stage) but at him. “What solo? Zacky, I’m fucking confused!” I whispered harshly, shaking his arm a little as if to show just how panicked I was.

Being up on that stage was probably the last thing I wanted to do at that moment. I’d only ever played in front of Tyler, my mother, and the guys and girls. And not only did they expect me to play in front of easily hundreds of people, but with none other than Slash?

My family was really pushing my boundaries.

“Relax, Patey. Just an improv. Do whatever you want and Slash’ll follow, ‘kay?” Zacky said, flashing me another reassuring smile as he plugged a cable into the guitar I was holding. When I hesitantly nodded, he pointed to an array of stomp boxes on the floor in front of me. “All your pedals and whatnot are right there. Do whatever you want, seriously. You’re gonna be great, P.”

Whatever I wanted. I didn’t even know which foot went in front of the other at that moment, how the hell was I supposed to come up with a solo worthy of Slash’s ears in just a few seconds?

Zacky quickly vacated the stage, and I snuck a glance at Slash, who again gave me another wink and a smile. I plucked a pick off the microphone stand and looked down at my guitar, hesitance written clear across my features. I decided to start off small. It wasn’t as if Slash and I were battling, although I felt like I did, I didn’t have to prove myself to him. It was a riff to a chorus of one of the many songs I’d written over the past few months.

Grinning, Slash easily followed along with his own riff, somewhat similar to mine. The crowd cheered in encouragement, and I felt myself beginning to loosen up. If I couldn’t think up anything good enough, I’d just play one of my own solos and not worry about making anything up on the spot.

Within minutes, I had proven myself wrong. It turned out that playing with Slash was actually quite fun—and not nearly as intimidating as I had imagined. Creating a solo on the spot turned out to be quite a bit easier than I had originally thought, with Slash there to back it up it sounded amazing. We were coming close to what felt like the end, so I decided to step it up a notch and quickly began playing the hardest solo I’d ever written, which was really only last month.

We were playing in sync then, and it amazed how quickly and perfectly he could pick up on something that had taken me so long to write and perfect myself. When we finally stopped, my ears were ringing and the roar of the huge crowd seemed to be all I could hear. I smiled at Slash, still in somewhat of a daze as we both exited the stage.

Once we were back at the side of the stage, Slash stared at me for a long moment before breaking out into a large grin. “I gotta admit that was kickass, kid.” He said laughingly, and held up his hand for a high-five. I did so mechanically, but could not keep the grin off of my face either.

“Thanks.” That was all I could get out before I was tackled into a hug by Jimmy, who caught me just before I hit the ground and he began spinning me around.

“Mini, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again! You are so fucking rad!” When he set me down, I looked away in embarrassment and uttered another ‘thanks’.

I smiled faintly at Dannii, who was wearing a smile just as wide as everyone else’s. As we began walking away together, I was at a loss for words. Kickass, kid. Slash’s words echoed in my mind, over and over again. The only thing I could think about was that Slash had high-fived me, he’d been impressed with my level of guitar skills.

Someone pulled on my arm from the right, and I looked up blearily to see who I thought was Bert McCracken, but I could not be for sure as a light from the stage was shining almost directly into my eyes. “That was so fucking awesome,” He began, and I had been right. It was Bert McCracken. “I’ve never seen anything like it. So rad. Can I get a picture with you?”

Bert McCracken was asking to take a picture with me? Tonight was turning out to be nothing short of amazing. Still though, my mind was drawing a blank from what had just happened with Slash, and I willingly stood next to Bert as he took a picture of us with his phone.

Things were happening to fast; everything seemed like a haze, as if I were in my own personal fairytale. Quite a few of my dreams had come true, and the night had only just begun. One thing was for sure though, I loved my family for this.

Not even two seconds after Dannii and I had left Bert, a pair of large, calloused hands were placed over my eyes. I felt around in front of me blindly, but came up empty. I recognized Matt’s laugh behind me, and relaxed a little. I was having fun, I didn’t even mind getting surprise after surprise anymore. Nonetheless, my heart fluttered in anticipation as I wondered what had been planned for me next.

“Let’s go, start walking forward!” He said, giving me a small push forward. I let out a groan as I stumbled a little.

“Come on, dad. Is this really necessary?” I grumbled, blindly pointing to where his hands were still covering my eyes.

“Yes,” A chorus of voices answered from around me, and I quickly realized that all the guys and girls were surrounding me. I didn’t protest any further than that, and let Matt lead to the other side of Brian’s yard. When his hands finally left my eyes, all the lights had been turned off and it was next to pitch black. The only light were coming from a few large candles in front of me. They illuminated a table that had a red velvet cover, but that was not what had caught my attention.

My birthday cake stood in front of me, and again the only word I could use to describe it was incredible. It was shaped like a coffin with all black frosting, with white accents and bats outlined on the ‘lid’. Cupcakes were placed around it and on the table, following the same Halloween theme as everything else with every kind of cupcake imaginable; pumpkins, Dracula’s, headstones, everything.

Amazing. They really had gone through too much trouble for me. “What are you waiting for,” Val began from behind me, and I turned around to smile at her. “Make a wish and blow the candles out!”

Every person who was in the backyard began singing happy birthday to me, and my heart swelled even more. I felt my cheeks heat in embarrassment as I focused on the cake, more than sure that everyone on the block could hear the crowd singing to me.

What could I wish for? I had everything that was possible. I couldn’t wish for my mother back, and while I could wish for Tyler back, what good would it do? I was willing to bet that he was still back home, killing himself with Luke and I had no doubt that Derek and Melissa were too soft to control him. He more than likely hadn’t even so much as thought about me since that one night.

Nonetheless, I found myself wishing for him back anyway. Not the Tyler that had left on such a sour note, but my brother. And although I knew it was impossible, I wished things could be the way they used to be between us, each other’s confidant and go-to person.

One can always hope, right? No matter how futile and outlandish an idea is, there’s always hope.

With the same brave smile never leaving my face, I blew out the few large candles that had been placed on the table. Everyone laughed and cheered, and people, even some I didn’t recognize, pulled me into a hug and wished me a happy birthday again.

Despite my previous thoughts on my ex-best friend, I couldn’t help but think my birthday had been much more than happy; this had been my dream birthday party.

Later that night, at about twelve AM, Matt said it was time to head home. I had to agree with him. Although I was having fun, I was more than tired. Inside, I felt like a zombie and all I really wanted to do was curl up under my blankets and go to sleep. Val had decided to stay back a while longer with the girls, and it was just Matt and I as we dropped Dannii off at her house. I’d barely been coherent enough to say goodbye to her, and by the time we got back to the house, I found it hard stumbling out of the SUV and walking sluggishly up to the front door.

Matt laughed as he unlocked the door, placing an arm around my shoulder to steady me. “You sure you didn’t have anything to drink tonight, Patey?” When all I did was let out a tired, incoherent grumble as we climbed the stairs, he laughed. “Did you have fun tonight?”

“Mm... yeah. It was amazing actually, thank you.” I said, wanting to wake up a little and make sure he knew just how amazing tonight had been for me.

“There’s no need to thank me, P. It was the least I could do.”

“You should go back to the party,” I yawned, leaning my head against his shoulder. We were nearing my room door then. “You should have stayed. Go back and have some fun. Get wasted and whatnot,” I continued, still yawning slightly. I barely had any idea as to what I was saying.

But it was true. Matt and the guys had been so incredibly busy over the past few months with their record; they’d barely had any time to relax at all. Especially Matt, who had to look after me on top of that.

He paused at my door and stared down at me for a moment before giving me a ‘look’. “Payton, do you really think I’m going to go back to your birthday party and have fun without you?”

Still, I tried to convince him to go back. I wanted him to go back and have some fun for once. All he did was shush me and place a kiss on my forehead. “Go to sleep, kid. You need your sleep, Val’s taking you out shopping tomorrow.”

Finally, I gave up on the idea and gave him a tired nod, mumbling a groggy ‘night’ before slipping into my room, falling asleep as soon as I collapsed onto my bed.