We Knew That Time Would Kill Us

Evan was walking beside me, the rest of Wretched Remorse in tow. While walking toward A7X’s tour bus, it was freezing, but that was all that could be expected from a wintry night in Canada.

Three drama-free days had passed. Each of them were filled with practicing, hanging out with my family and newfound friends, and most recently, going on a date with my new boyfriend.

While the A7X and Wretched Remorse vehicles stopped for a brief hour the other night in a tiny town bordering Canada, Evan and I had met up at an old-school arcade. It was just plain fun. There wasn’t much else to do in the town other than that, but playing the old classics like Pac-Man and Donkey Kong, it seemed like there couldn’t have been anything better for us to do, ever.

That was what I loved about it, and these past few days. There just wasn’t anything at all to worry about, not a single thought plagued my mind, not of Tyler or my mother or keeping stupid things from Matt, instead my friends and family consumed all of my attention. And I planned to keep it that way.

Reaching out, Evan wrapped his arms around my waist when he noticed my shivering. Stupidly, I once again only had a hoodie to protect me from the harsh wind. It was then I realized I’d rather live in California than anywhere else, simply for the weather.

I refused to let the bad weather get to me. Tonight was the night Avenged Sevenfold and Wretched Remorse would finally meet. Everyone, with the exception of Noah obviously, was managing to keep their cool. No doubt was in my mind these boys had a lot of respect for A7X, and they were hoping for everything to go as well as it possibly could.

The tiny bassist appeared in front of me, the large, shaggy faux-fur hood of his coat hanging halfway down in his face. I didn’t know where he’d managed to dig out a parka, it was miles too big for him and he looked really funny wearing it. “So—so, has Shadows asked about me? Gosh, it’s gonna be love at first sight,” He said, and through the darkness I could imagine him fluttering his eyelashes.

Beside me, Evan let out a snort and Brett ordered him back to where he’d previously been, walking alongside Oliver. Exactly when he’d started joking about his and my father’s undying love for each other, I didn’t know. While it was hilarious though, I hoped he wouldn’t bring it up around Matt ‘cause something told me he wasn’t going to be in a joking mood tonight.

“Are you sure you dad’s okay with this? Maybe we should meet somewhere else,” Evan asked quietly, his mouth close to my ear. The only reason he was being quiet about it was because Noah would have had a conniption if he heard anything about not meeting A7X tonight.

With a shake of my head, I looked up at him, able to make out his features then because we were nearing our bus, which had a few lights on. “No,” I mumbled, feeling sure of it. The only way Matt would get used to Evan and his friends was if they were around him and in his home. For the past few months, the tour bus had been his home. “It’ll be fine, I promise. Just relax.” His shoulders were tense, and I could tell he was really beginning to feel nervous about the meeting.

Upon entering the bus, I nearly let out a sigh of relief when I felt the warmth. My dad and the rest of my family, on the other hand, looking utterly out of the element. It was a little cramped then, what with a total of nine guys in the living area of the bus, and it only added to the awkwardness.

Not only had they previously been used to me just hanging out with Dannii, but she was a girl, so for me to be hanging out with four guys and dating one of them.... well, that just didn’t sit well with any of my uncles, and Matt was no exception.

Yes, he had been civil like he’d promised, but he made sure to have tight reins on the time I spent with Evan, checking in every twenty minutes to make sure I was okay. I accepted it though, it was better than not seeing him at all.

Twenty seconds later the bus was still eerily silent, none of the usual chatter could be heard, and I grew just a little more wary. All of the guys sat on the small couch, looking a little cramped and each had a Guinness in hand, practically staring straight through the boys.

The only exception was Jimmy. After giving Matt a look, a large, friendly grin broke out across his features and after he set his beer aside, the friendly giant stood up. “Nice to meet you guys,” He started, standing between Evan and Brett and clapping each of them on the back. “I’m Jimmy, and I’ve heard some pretty good things about your band.”

Thank you Uncle Jimmy. Breaking the ice was probably going to be one of the hardest things to get through tonight, and I was surprised that he did it, seeing as he was just as... neutral about this as the rest of my uncles were. The guys nodded in agreement, and while the member of Wretched Remorse were happy to hear that, Noah looked like he was going to faint, and I couldn’t help but laugh from the dreamy look on his face. This was going a lot better than I thought it would.

The conversation managed to pick up from there, Jimmy doing most of it. Talks of what was going to happen after the tour ended and similar things. I was reminded again that we only had one more tour date left, and then we’d be back in Huntington, my home, once again.

Just one night from then, I was going to be performing on stage with my family. In Montreal, so close to my hometown we could have driven there in about six hours. No longer was I four thousand miles away from Tyler, more like six hundred. Still it was a long way away, and that was the only comforting thing I could tell myself.

It would all be over with after tomorrow night though. Hell, there wasn’t even anything worry about at that moment, I just had to calm down and think rationally like I had been doing over the past few days.

“And this... this is uh,” I paused when I turned around, only then recognizing exactly how close Evan had been standing behind me. Seeing my flustered expression, he smirked and waited patiently for me to continue. “This is where I sleep.” I finally choked out, pointing toward my bunk while looking into his eyes.

Up until then, I’d been giving him the grand tour of the bus, with Matt’s request of being back within five minutes, of course. His smirk turned into a stunning smile when he heard my nervous tone, and he gave me a reassuring look before wrapping his arms around my waist and leaning down into my neck. I smiled, leaning into his embrace.

Aside from our first kiss (which had really just been a harmless peck), this was the most intimate we’d been. Not even last night at the arcade had he tried anything like this, and I didn’t know if he was taking things slow because M. Shadows was my father, or if he was just doing it because he knew that I hated being rushed into things.

Personally, I was betting on the former.

“I’m glad things worked out.” He sighed, squeezing me a little more.

Brett’s booming laugh made me flinch, and instantly I could tell that my family was finally getting used to the boys of Wretched Remorse. Evan only smiled even wider into my neck when he heard Jimmy’s cackle follow after his friend’s.

“Me too,” I replied, letting out a light laugh. “I thought it would be a long shot for them to get along so well, but I guess not. It was pretty insane how quick Jimmy took to you guys.”

I was surprised when he pulled his head back and slowly shook it. “Not just about tonight, even though it worked out a lot better than I thought it would. I’m just... happy about us, I guess. I didn’t think your dad was ever gonna let me see you again.”

“For a while there, I didn’t think I would.” My voice was soft, recalling the week or so after Evan and I had snuck off to that park. While I had drastically improved just about every aspect during that time with my journals to Matt, I didn’t feel completely happy until my dad gave me the confirmation that yes, I would be allowed to see Evan. Waiting for that wasn’t exactly a walk in the park.

After staring into my eyes a moment longer, he pulled away completely and took my hand, sitting us down on my bunk. “Is there anything you wanna talk about? Anything at all?”

How he seemed to know something was on my mind simply baffled me. As far as I knew, I hadn’t been acting suspicious at all. I didn’t want to bring Tyler up to him however, as I didn’t even know how to even talk about him to someone who hadn’t been there to witness everything when it went down.

“Well...” I trailed off, my tone hesitant as I looked down to my lap. My free hand swiped angrily down my face, upset that I was once again letting Tyler, someone who I hadn’t been in contact with in almost a year, get to me. Just when I was happy, too. “I just... we’re getting closer to my hometown now, Ev. And... there’s a guy there, and it didn’t end too well between us.” I hurried through it, glancing up at him once or twice, but not feeling uncomfortable at all. At that moment I was loving the calming effect just being around Evan had on me.

What I said was the truth, or at least, as much of a truth even I could get out of it. As always, there was a small, wondering voice in the back of my head. Can’t I just be happy... can Tyler ever let me be happy?

A moment of silence passed, and it only made me nervous. “I don’t know—I guess it’s just hard, knowing we’re so close to him. It’s—it’s nothing, okay?”

“Hey...” He mumbled, comfortingly tilting my chin up and once I was looking him in the eye again, he brushed my then grown-out bang from my face. While I’d kept up with dying it my usual red on the tour, I hadn’t taken scissors to my hair at all. My then long sideband was proof of that. “It’s not nothing, but I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t worry about it, P. I’m sure there’s nothing you could have done to keep him around, and if he didn’t want stick around then he doesn’t deserve to have such power over you.”

Leaning forward, he pressed a sweet kiss to my lips, much like our first, before pulling back to smile at me. “He’s in the past, babe.”

“You’re right.” I said, flashing him a smile while I blushed. It was merely my own thoughts getting to me then, like so many other times. But this time, however, I wasn’t going to hold it all in. As long as people were willing to listen, I was going to talk about it.

I knew what my next journal entry was going to be about.