I Hate Love Stories Because I'm Never in One.

You never knew when you needed a sick bucket...that thought alone was running through my mind over and over again as I grimaced at the two people in front of me. It was my best friend and her other half, kindly displaying the most disgusting demonstration of how to transfer one another’s tonsils to the other’s mouth.

I almost gagged when they made a peculiar noise, sort of like a plunger trying to unblock a clogged up toilet.

‘Guys, get a room. You could scar these kids for life.’ I groaned, making a point of putting enough distance between us so I could look like a horrified passerby. Quickly, I threw a glance over to the playground where a bunch of noisy toddlers stumbled past.

‘Ugh, Teri...everyone knows that it’s you who’s bothered.’ said Kat AKA my best friend AKA tonsil tennis champion 2010.

Kat was short for Katrina. She didn’t particularly enjoy being named after Katrina and The Waves (her mother had been an extreme fan for as long as I can remember) so she had promptly introduced herself as Kat when I first bumped into her, sternly ordering me to call her the same unless I wanted to lose an eyeball or something. Get this though...her last name was actually Ocean. Waves? Ocean? See what I mean?

‘Everyone? That’s a bit of an exaggeration, don’t you think?’ I asked. ‘I’m doing these people a favour by stopping you two!’

‘They weren’t even paying attention to us!’ Kat whined, though I noticed she took a small step back away from Dean AKA her boyfriend AKA guy with the most disappointed expression to have ever graced across someone’s face.

I laughed, stretching my arms over my head as I did so. ‘Right guys, who’s up for watching some horror films with a wheelbarrow sized popcorn bucket?’

Kat gave me a guilty glance as she pushed her blonde highlighted hair from her face. She clutched at Dean’s arm, nervously rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand.

‘Well, you see...me and Dean were going to head back to his place. We thought that we should just hang around with each other.’

‘What the heck do you think you’ve been doing for the past five hours?’ I chuckled, shaking my head with incredulity.

‘What Kat meant was just me and her. By ourselves.’ Dean admitted as he shuffled his foot against the concrete.

The smile soon slipped off my face. ‘Oh...that’s cool. I guess we could do the film thing some other time?’

‘Teri, you can come back to Deans with us if you want.’ Kat murmured uncomfortably as she blushed. Dean opened his mouth, probably to complain that I was going to take away yet more of his ‘making out’ time. That is, until Kat gave him a swift elbow to the rib cage.

‘No, don’t worry about it. I don’t want to crowd your space or anything. You two are a couple; you should spend some...couple-ish time together.’

Of course, I was lying. I hated how I was always left out, always feeling like the third wheel when I walked around with them. Sure, Kat was cool when she was on her own. I had her undivided attention during those rare days but who was she kidding? I knew that she wanted to be with Dean when she was wasting her time with me.

‘Seriously, Teri. You can come.’ Kat assured me but I waved it off with a hand and a (hopefully) lazy smile.

‘I don’t mind; go knock your selves out. I’ll see you Monday or something.’

Kat managed to pry herself away from Dean for a split second to give me a rushed hug, Dean himself honouring me with a grateful grin. I returned it, feeling ever more awful on the inside.

I kept waving, right until they vanished through the park gates. I saw Kat try and grab one last glimpse of me before she turned the corner. My hand dropped to my side and the false cheerfulness went with it when she was lost from my view.

The thing was I hated people being in love. I hated them with their lovey-dovey eyes and affectionate gestures to one another. I was always the odd one out, the loner...the unlucky sod who hadn’t managed to find somebody to fall in love with.

I frowned as I stuck my hands into the pockets of my jacket; my walk was slow and deliberately unhurried. There was nothing for me to do at home, nothing at all. Why did Kat have to go and find Dean for?

I hated love stories...it was probably because I was never in one.