Here Comes the Sun

I had lived in New Jersey for my whole life. I was in love with my small, beautiful town and everyone in it. I had been born and raised in Wyckoff – the crisp Jersey air was filled with all of my precious memories. There were a few places I was glad to never see again. But before it fell apart, my childhood had been everything I could have asked for. I played in the park in autumn, made snow angels in the winter, ate Italian ice in the spring, and built sand castles in the summer. At some point, life had been good. My parents had still been in love, my brother had been sober, and I had been spending every waking moment playing with Nick.

Life really had been good.

That was why I knew it would hurt me when I finally left.

“You ready?” I heard a voice say from behind me. I smiled. I knew that voice all too well.

“Almost, Nick,” I replied, “I’m just saying goodbye.” I felt my smile fade.

I was in the backyard of my old house. The family who had bought it from my mother last year had been gracious enough to let me come back and see it one last time. It was my last chance – In an hour’s time, I would be on a plane to California and after that I would be forced to call it home.

“This place hasn’t changed a bit,” said Nick. I heard him sigh and begin walking towards me, the fresh snow crunching softly under his sneakers.

“I know,” I laughed. “We used to play on that.” I pointed to an old tire swing hanging from the giant oak tree behind our garage.

Nick chuckled. “Now, I probably can’t even fit.”

The snow stopped crunching and I felt him wrap his arms around my waist and rest his chin on my shoulder. His body was warm and I was thankful of that – the cold air was blowing through my flimsy sweater without any difficulty.

I took a deep breath and put my hands over his. “I’m gonna miss it, Nick.”

“Me too, love. Me too.”

We stood there for a while staring out into the yard. I knew moving to Los Angeles would be easier for the boys. I knew driving down to New York every weekend was out of the question, especially with a new baby in the house. I knew California was a good thing.

But as I stood there and let the essence of Jersey fill my heart for the last time, I couldn’t help but let a tear escape. I was leaving my home behind. I was moving across the country to a city where no one slept. I was nervous and more than anything, I wasn’t ready to say goodbye.

“Nick! Kara!” I heard a loud, bellowing voice from the front yard interrupt my thoughts. I recognized it as Kevin. “We need you!”

Nick laughed. “The babysitters need our help,” he said, tightening his grip on me. I smiled a weak smile.

He sighed.

“We’ll be back to visit soon,” he assured me in a comforting voice, “I promise.”

I turned to look him in the eye. His face was pale from the cold, but his beauty still lifted my spirits like nothing else could.

“I know,” I said thickly, leaning my head back against him. “I’m just being a big baby,”

He chuckled. “No, you’re not.” He spun me around to kiss me tenderly and then intertwined our hands.

“This is gonna be good,” I said in an attempt to convince myself. “This is a good thing.”

“Yes. It is. Things will be so much better. You’ll see,” he said, smiling.

I took a deep breath. “Okay,” I sighed. “But they aren’t, I’m blaming you and you’re gonna pay.”

He burst out laughing and placed one last kiss on my forehead before we began our walk back up to the Jonas house. We walked briskly up the stone steps to the front yard and across the street. The moment we stepped through the front door, we knew exactly why Kevin had pleaded so desperately for our help.

“Yes, thank God you’re here!” he exclaimed when he met us at the door, tired and out of breath. “I’ve been running upstairs and downstairs, trying to find something that would make her quiet down!”

“Why is she crying so much?” Nick asked his oldest brother, suddenly becoming angry and frustrated. We had left Layla in the hands of Kevin and Joe while we gave our final farewell to our favorite Jersey places around town, but it hadn’t even been thirty minutes yet and she was already wailing.

“I don’t know!” said Kevin.

I took a deep breath and stomped through the living room in loud, heavy Uggs in search of my daughter. I couldn’t stand it when she cried. Knowing she was in pain brought me pain as well. Her happiness was everything to me. I followed the sound of her crying to the basement and as I walked down the stairs, I began to hear soft singing and her sobbing seized.

“You’re the voice I hear inside my head, the reason that I’m singin’. I need to find you. I gotta find you.”

As I reached the last stair and found what I was looking for, I felt a smile appear on my face. Nick soon came down as well and I knew he was smiling beside me, too. The sight was simply too adorable.

Joe was lying down on the carpet in the middle of the basement, both hands nestled on the calm, sleeping baby curled up on his chest. He rubbed her back with one hand and her head with the other, softly singing that one simple line over and over again to make her sleep.

I heard Nick chuckle behind me and felt him take my waist.

“That’s a song for the new movie we’re gonna do,” he whispered softly into my ear, “That’s the only part of it he knows.”

I smiled and looked on. It was moments like those that made me love Jersey so much. We were going to be leaving so many precious memories behind. The scene of that day couldn’t have been simpler. There was Joe, sprawled in the center of the big, empty room, with nothing but bare walls surrounding him, yet the beautiful child he held was glowing radiantly, wrapped snugly in her baby pink blanket. It made me think of the doctor who had delivered Layla, Dr. Montgomery, from three months before.

It’s such a Kodak moment, Kara, she would have said.

So I did exactly what she would have done. I reached into my jean pocket and pulled out my cell phone, careful not to make a sound and wake the baby. I moved closer to get better light and snapped a picture, smiling at the beautiful outcome. Everyone in the family was in love with Layla, not just me and Nick. Sometimes it was hard to be away from her, but I knew I had to share. The memories she was making with us couldn’t have been more perfect. And I was glad I had pictures like those to remember them by.

Maybe, if I captured the memories in pictures, leaving Jersey wouldn’t be as bad.

A moment later, Nick’s phone vibrated quietly from within his jacket. He pulled it out to read a text message and groaned.

“It’s Mom. We have to go,” he whispered sadly.

I thought of Mr. and Mrs. Jonas out there in the bitter cold with Big Rob, loading the moving truck with boxes and waiting on us so we could all drive down to the private jet. I looked longingly at the peaceful pair on the floor in front of me. It was going to break my heart to tear them apart so soon, but we had a plane to catch. California wasn’t going to come to us.

I crossed the room quietly to stand over Joe and he smiled a huge, white smile. He continued to sing, but reached his hands underneath Layla’s tiny arms and lifted her up, allowing me to take her and let her sleep against my chest. Nick walked over and extended his arm, helping his brother up. When Joe saw it was safe to stop singing, he stopped and replaced it with a giant sigh of relief.

“That took forever,” he whispered as we made our way back upstairs, “We tried everything.”

“Yeah, but singing to her is my thing,” Nick replied softly, hitting him on the head playfully.

“Guess it works for me, too.” He laughed. “Oh, and check out her shirt. It came in the fan mail earlier and Dad showed it to me, so I had to put it on.”

I sifted gently through Layla’s many layers and finally found a lilac t-shirt with “Baby Jonas” printed across it in black ink. I smiled and showed Nick.

“Oh, we have to write back to whoever sent that,” he said, laughing. “That’s pure awesomeness.”

“Agreed,” I said as I adjusted her blanket and wrapped her up safely.

Upstairs, the boys went outside to help their parents finish getting the truck and SUV ready and I put Layla in her carrier, adding a few more layers to protect her from the cold.

“I guess this is it, Lay,” I said to her when I finished packing her baby bag. “This is goodbye to Jersey. I know you haven’t been here that long or seen much of it, but honey, it’s so beautiful. I promise I’ll bring you back here when you get older so you can see it for yourself. But for now, mommy needs you to be brave. It’s your first plane ride, I know. I know you’re gonna be afraid. Trust me, you’re not alone…” I took a deep breath. “But it’s all going to be okay soon. I promise.”

I knelt down to kiss her soft forehead.

“Sleep, Lay,” I whispered, “We’ll be in la-la land when you wake up.”

And with that last word lingering on my lips, I made my way downstairs with Layla and began our long journey to LAX. I had high hopes for a change. Lots of good things were going to come our way in California.

But as the “Leaving New Jersey” sign passed my car window on our way out, I couldn’t help but shed one last melancholy tear at the past.