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Here Comes the Sun

Sapphire Skies

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Five hours and two thousand four hundred and fifty one miles later, we were greeted by the bright California sky. The moment we got off the plane and into the LAX airport, our jackets were slipped off our backs and into our carry-on bags and our spirits were already higher due to the pleasant, welcoming weather. After a quick trip to the bathroom to change Layla, our presence was slowly becoming known as we walked around.

“Anna, look! It’s the Jonas Brothers!” a little girl in pigtails told her friend at the luggage pick-up excitedly. The two squealed and ditched their polka-dotted suitcases to run over for a picture.

After that, the word spread quickly. We must have spent an hour greeting fans and signing autographs in the airport lobby, but after a while Charlene, the boys’ publicist, strutted over to our rescue.

“Alright, kids, the JoBros gotta go!” she said loudly to the growing mob of restless preteens. “And mommy Kara needs to take Layla home.” The fans let out disappointed groans but finally walked away after receiving a few last waves and blown kisses from Kevin, Joe, and Nick. I blew a kiss myself in the midst of putting Layla back in her carrier and Nick whispered to me I’d practically just made their day.

Charlene’s attitude had shifted quite a bit since Layla was born. She was always going to be the haughty, stereotypical type – There was no changing that. But she cared more. She dealt with the growing paparazzi well. She knew we couldn’t tolerate as much of it when Layla was around. She gave the boys more freedom with dating. And best of all, at least through my eyes, she wasn’t sending rude glares my way anymore. I was actually beginning to like her.

We stepped out into the comfortable sixty degree weather and made our way past the sea of cameras and reporters. Three SUVs were parked out front for us – One for Charlene and our security guards, one for Frankie, Denise, and Paul with our luggage, and one for Big Rob, the boys, Layla, and me.

“I love LA already!” Joe exclaimed the moment the car began moving.

“The weather is beautiful,” said Kevin, reaching over to turn on the air conditioning.

“The girls are beautiful, too,” Joe added, staring wide-eyed at the fans trying to chase the car on the sidewalk. Nick bent over the seat to smack him upside the head.

“How’s Layla? She doing alright?” Nick asked me, peeking into her carrier to flash her a smile. I heard her make a soft, happy sound. We were sitting in the very back row, as always, with the carrier situated between us.

“She’s good,” I replied, smiling, “She just woke up, so she’s in a good mood.”

“Knowing her, she’ll be back in dreamland in an hour,” he said, grinning. He reached over to take my hand. “I love you,” he said softly.

“I love you.” I leaned in to kiss him.

Joe groaned. “Stop sucking face back there. You’re grossing Layla out.”

Nick laughed against my skin and pulled away slightly.

“You’re the only one grossed out by this, Joe. Still, since May. It’s been…” he paused to count on his fingers, “Seven months. Almost,” he said. I smiled. He remembered.

“I can’t help it! She’s my sister. I don’t need that ring to tell me that much.”

I looked down at the shimmering diamonds on my finger and laughed as Nick and Joe continued to bicker. I took a moment to lean back and take in the rest of California. It amazed me that it was winter, yet dozens of people were walking down the streets in flip flops and shorts, heading down to the beach with picnic baskets and checkered blankets. The city of Los Angeles was beautiful, filled with palm trees and blossoming flowers – but nothing was more beautiful to me than the wide, blue sky. The few clouds I saw were small and pearly white. The sun shined warm and bright above me and it felt comforting against my skin. I knew one thing was for sure – here, the snow would never come around and remind me of dreadful December of last year ever again.

After about a half hour of driving into the heart of the city, we finally pulled into the driveway of our new house and I had to catch my breath.

“This is our driveway?” I asked as I stepped out of the car and gazed at the huge white house in front of me and its massive front yard.

Nick stood next to me, carrying Layla in her carrier, and nodded.

“You could land a plane on this thing,” I exclaimed. Joe yelled out in agreement.

We were all in shock – the new house could fit our old house in it at least ten times, literally. The exterior was already so beautiful that it made me afraid to see the inside. I predicted it to be breathtaking.

I was right.

Everyone had their own room and their own bathroom – even Layla. It was out of this world. Mr. Jonas had his own study and library and Mrs. Jonas was obsessed with her new, enormous kitchen. The boys had their own music room, stocked with every instrument they could ever want and state of the art microphones. The backyard was massive – Denise got swings and a sandbox put in for when Layla got older. On top of all that, we had our own pool and even that thing was colossal. The house was absolutely stunning and every room amazed me.

But to me, one stood out exceptionally.

The moment I stepped into my room, I had to remind myself to breathe. It was incredible. I was awestruck by the titanic bed dressed in lavender and the ivory vanity and matching dresser, but I fell in love with the view. The window was magnificent, stretching along the width of an entire wall, and it overlooked my two favorite parts of California.

The sapphire sky and vast ocean.

Without giving it any second thought, I pried open the window and lost myself in the beauty. I had to get out there and feel it for myself. Slowly, I was falling in love with California. I hoped it would stay that way.

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Because Mrs. Jonas was itching to try out her new stove, we had lunch early. Things were getting hectic as I tried to balance entertaining Layla and unpacking, but I loved every minute of it and Mrs. Jonas was always around to help.

“It’s so fun to dress her up,” said Mrs. Jonas at the table, grinning.

Her sons shot her confused expressions.

“What?” she asked, raising her eyebrows, “All I ever had was you boys and you’re no fun to dress up.”

I pictured her putting a baby Nick in a dress and burst out laughing, almost choking on my grilled cheese sandwich.

“What’s funny?” Joe asked as he absentmindedly ripped off the crusts of his bread.

“Nothing,” I said through my laughs, looking Nick in the eye and laughing harder.

He paused chewing and stared at me suspiciously for a moment, but then Layla began crying in the other room and we both stood up to go to her.

“She’s been restless since we got here,” I sighed as we reached her nursery, “I don’t know what it is.”

Nick took my hand in his.

“She’s probably just not used to the house,” he said, equally concerned.

I leaned over her crib and picked her up, holding her close to my chest. Her crying softened, but she still whimpered against me.

“It’s okay, Lay,” I whispered to her, kissing the side of her head. Nick gave her his finger to hold onto and smiled.

I began to rock her back and forth.

“What were you laughing at?” Nick whispered to me, leaning in.

I let out another quiet laugh and looked at him. “I was picturing you in a dress.”

His expression was bemused. “What?” he asked, laughing.

“Your mom said…Never mind,” I shook my head, “I’m just insane.”

He laughed harder. Layla’s grip on his finger tightened as she began to fall asleep.

“Hardly,” he said, kissing my forehead.

We were silent for a few minutes as Layla drifted off, finally relaxing in my arms. We each placed a kiss atop her head and I laid her back down in the crib, sighing and turning off the light.

“You need a break,” said Nick, taking my waist and pulling me close before I could walk out.

I took a deep breath and laid my head against his chest. “I’m fine,” I assured him, “I love being a mom.”

He pressed his lips to my hair. “You’re an amazing mom.”

I smiled. “I’m trying.”

“She’s looking more like you every day, Kara.”

“I look like a mess lately,” I told him, laughing without humor. I had lost weight and toned up a bit since the summer and my body looked pretty thin and average, but my face was always tired. I was up during ungodly hours of the night tending to Layla and Nick was so amazing that he stayed up with me too.

He leaned his head down to look at my eyes. “You’re beautiful. Always,” he said sweetly.

I knew he couldn’t see it in the dark, but I still hid my face in his chest as I blushed.

“Don’t ever think you’re not,” he said. He reached his hand under my chin and pulled it up to expose my face. “I can’t even put into words how beautiful you are. I don’t know how I got so lucky.” He traced my jaw with his hand lovingly and leaned down to kiss me.

I had never found myself beautiful. Not once. The horrors of my life had transformed the girl in the mirror completely. I’d been treated like a worthless creature – I was made to feel as though I had no beauty and I never would. I was nothing special.

But Nick made me feel special. He made me feel beautiful and rather than ordinary, I was extraordinary. He had saved me in every way a person could be saved. He reminded me he loved me everyday and he had no idea how powerful those words were; how those three simple words had salvaged me and brought me back to life.

“I love you,” I whispered to him, leaning my forehead against his.

“I love you,” he said in return, pulling me even closer. I still couldn’t get used to it.

We stayed like that for a while, holding each other in the simplest of positions. I escaped into his heartbeat. I lived for moments like those.

“I could stay like this forever,” he whispered softly into my ear. I smiled a huge smile.

“Me too,” I replied.

He took a few steps back and released one of his arms to turn on a nightlight, but returned it to my waist before I knew it was missing. He collapsed into the rocking chair beside Layla’s crib and pulled me into his lap.

“This is even better,” he said with a smile.

I laughed silently and leaned back against him. “Nick?”

“Hm?”

“I like California.”

He laughed, relieved.

“Told you so.”

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Weeks went by. California was winning over our hearts quicker than we expected. I spent most of my days out on the back deck with Layla, getting a healthy dose of fresh air and vitamin D, and the boys were usually in the music room, working on new tracks for their new movie. It was so different from living in Jersey. I used to be able to hear every note, even if I was on another floor in our old house. But the rooms now were so spread apart and massive; it was like they weren’t even home.

Though in a way, it was a good thing. The loud slams of the drums and blaring electric guitars of their practice wouldn’t make Layla cry. And if she wasn’t crying, I was thankful.

Layla spent most of her time asleep, but during those few hours she was awake, she was fully aware of everything around her. It amazed me so much. I sat her upright against me on my lap and watched as her eyes glided over the scene of the backyard – the luscious rose garden, the vibrant yellow tulips, the tall palm trees in the distance. I wanted so much to see how she saw everything. She was so curious about life, so fascinated at the world. It seemed so simple to her. Her eyes widened at the beautiful sights, things that we normally overlooked and took for granted. But with her, I paid tribute to the beauty and magnificence of nature. I saw life differently when I was with her. She blew me away.

After sitting outside for a good forty-five minutes, Mrs. Jonas called me back inside to hear the boys perform one of the movie songs they were anxious to show off. I put Layla to bed and went downstairs to the music room. Kevin, Joe, and Nick were waiting patiently in front of their microphones for me to arrive.

“Sorry,” I said as I quickly ran over to them. “I had to put Layla down.”

I walked over to Nick and smiled, kissing him briefly but sweetly. Joe stifled a groan and I laughed, pulling away from Nick and taking a seat opposite of him to hear their song. They had been excited about it for weeks, practicing for hours on end. They had to get it down before their recording session with the rest of the cast the next day.

“You have to tell us exactly what you think, okay?” Kevin told me as he finished tuning his acoustic guitar. “No holding back.”

“Don’t I always?” I replied, smiling.

The boys grinned largely and began after Nick counted them off. It was slower than their usual, but I loved it. Nick and Kevin strummed their guitars for a few measures, and then Joe’s smooth voice began to sing. I recognized one of the lines later on and smiled:

Every time I think I’m closer to the heart,
Of what it means to know just who I am,
I think I finally found a better place to start,
But no one ever seems to understand.

I need to try to get to where you are.
Could it be you’re not that far?

You’re the voice I hear inside my head,
The reason that I’m singin’.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.
You’re the missing piece I need,
The song inside of me.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.

You’re the remedy I’m searchin’ hard to find,
To fix the puzzle that I see inside.
Painting all my dreams the color of your smile.
When I find you, it will be alright.

I need to try to get to where you are.
Could it be you’re not that far?

You’re the voice I hear inside my head,
The reason that I’m singin’.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.
You’re the missing piece I need,
The song inside of me.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.

Been feelin’ lost, can’t find the words to say.
Spendin’ all my time stuck in yesterday.
Where you are is where I wanna be,
Oh, next to you and you next to me.

You’re the voice I hear inside my head,
The reason that I’m singin’.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.
You’re the missing piece I need,
The song inside of me.
I need to find you. I gotta find you.

Oh, yeah.
I gotta find you.


The moment the last guitar string was silenced, I applauded and hugged each of them.

“That was incredible,” I told them, grinning.

“Really?” asked Kevin.

“Really. The lyrics are genius. Did you guys write that?” I walked over to Nick’s side and once he set down his guitar, he took my waist and pulled me close. I draped my arm over his shoulders and sighed into his embrace.

“It was mainly the movie writers, but we helped,” said Joe, smiling and unplugging his microphone.

“Well, you did a great job,” I said, “And I’m proud of you.”

“Why, thank you,” Nick said, leaning in to kiss my cheek.

While his brothers finished turning off their equipment, Nick stood up and took my hands in both of his.

“I have the perfect idea,” he said with sparkling eyes.

“And what is that?” I asked.

“How does the beach sound?”

I grinned. “Amazing.”

“Alright, let’s go,” he said, beaming down at me. After saying a quick “see ya” to Kevin and Joe, he took my hand and led me back upstairs where his mother was playing a board game with little Frankie at the dining table.

“Mom, we’re going down by the shore,” he told her as he reached into a bowl of grapes sitting beside her and popped one into his mouth.

“Okay,” she said, pulling him closer to kiss his cheek. “Be safe, honey. And take care of Kara.” She smiled warmly and extended her arms out for a hug from me.

“He always does,” I said against her shoulder.

Nick smiled. “See, Mom?” He laced on his Converse and I slipped into my flip flops. He escaped into another room for a moment and soon returned with one of my light grey sweaters in hand.

“Might get cold,” he said as he wrapped an arm around me and led me out the door. I smiled at him – he was always thinking of me.

About a month ago, Nick and I were finally able to get our driving licenses and ever since then, Nick had developed a new obsession with the open road. It just did something to him and no one could explain it. He loved it so much.

“Do you wanna drive?” he asked me as we walked down our massive driveway hand-in-hand. He dangled the bunch of keys at me.

“You go ahead,” I said, smiling. He grinned childishly in response. He would always ask me, no matter what, but I knew it made him happy. So I forfeited the keys.

After opening my door for me and helping me inside – even though I wasn’t pregnant anymore, he still did it out of habit – we began our five minute drive to the beach. We could have easily walked, but the paparazzo’s favorite things to do were follow us and ask us an endless amount of questions. So, anything to steer clear of that was a good idea.

When we finally reached the shore, Nick grabbed my hand and we kicked off our shoes to walk along the water. It was so peaceful being there; the sound of the crashing waves and the feel of the warm sand under my skin were serene and I loved it. The sun was low in the sky, minutes away from beginning to set, and the horizon was a rich, pink color. Nick and I walked slowly in sync with each other and I couldn’t help but smile at the sight of him.

“You know,” I began to say, “You’re sort of beautiful yourself.” I turned to him and saw him grin shyly.

“Beautiful?” he chuckled, “Well I guess that’s better than hearing ‘hot’ and ‘cute’ all the time from the fans,” he stopped walking and wrapped his arms around me loosely. “And it means much more coming from you.”

“And why is that?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

“Because,” he whispered, leaning in to me, “I love you.”

He knelt down to kiss me softly, but I pulled away hesitantly and rested my forehead against his.

“What is it?” he asked.

I indicated the cameramen hiding behind us with my eyes and Nick sighed deeply.

“I know,” he said, “They ruin everything. But just ignore them. They get paid to do it.”

I tried to nod, but I wasn’t yet fully used to the constant watching and picture taking. Nothing was private anymore. Spending time with Nick used to be so easy, so simple. But then he became a star and every move we made had to be carefully thought out everyday. Nothing was easy anymore.

But when I looked into those eyes, everything was worth it.

Nick led me back up the shore and took a seat on the sand. I sat down and leaned back against him, feeling a chill run up my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was from the fact that we were being watched or from the light breeze picking up, but still Nick wrapped me up in my sweater and pulled me close.

“I know it’s a lot to deal with,” he sighed, “I wish I could escape it. I know how much you hate it.”

I turned my head to look him in the eye. “It’s not your fault,” I said, “And I’d gladly put up with rude paparazzi and insane fans to be with you.”

“Really?” he asked, almost as though he was surprised to hear me say that.

“Really,” I told him. “Nick, I would do anything for you.”

He smiled and closed his eyes, resting his head against mine. I felt my phone suddenly vibrate from within my shorts and reached in to find it.

“That’s probably my mom,” said Nick.

I pulled it out and read the number. “No caller ID,” I said, surprised. I answered it anyway.

“Hello?” I asked as Nick waited patiently. Someone was definitely on the other line, but I heard no voice. “Hello?” I repeated, this time louder. Still nothing.

“Ugh,” I groaned and slipped the phone back into my pocket. “I hate people who do that. Just talk, for Christ’s sake.” I complained and Nick agreed with every word.

But then it hit me.

It was like déjà vu. It was too familiar. It had happened before, in exactly the same way.

“Oh, no,” I whispered.

“It can’t be…”
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