Here Comes the Sun

“Kara, you’re probably just overreacting. It’s been months since your mom called. You’re jumping to conclusions. It could be a wrong number. Just relax.”

Nick was rubbing my back, trying to calm me down. But I wouldn’t listen. I didn’t know why I was getting so worked up about it. The past just terrified me. I didn’t want anything to change and I sure as hell didn’t want my mom back in my life. Last time something like that had happened, multiple unanswered calls meant she wanted to tell me something but didn’t have the guts. I came home and found her gone. If it were her again, so many months later, it meant bad news was coming my way.

“What if it really is her, Nick? What if something has happened and she tries to come back into my life – our lives. What if she takes me away? She can do that, you know. I’m a minor. And if she does… God, Nick, I don’t even know. I can’t leave you.”

“Calm down, love. No one is taking you anywhere. It was just one phone call. And even if it is her, which I doubt, nobody can touch you while I’m here. Do you hear me? Everything will be fine. Trust me.”

He lifted my chin up with his hand.

“Do you trust me?” he asked.

I didn’t need to think twice. “Of course.”

“Then don’t worry.”

He pulled me into his arms and leaned back against the warm sand. I tried not to think about it anymore. It was hard. I tried to focus on the sound of the waves hitting the shore instead. If I didn’t, Nick would think I didn’t trust him. And that’s a downright lie.

“I hope Layla’s okay,” I said, remembering that my daughter was once again left in the hands of Kevin and Joe.

“She’s fine,” Nick sighed, “Mom’s there.” His voice seemed distant, like he was slowly drifting off to sleep.

“Are you tired?” I asked, looking up at him.

“No,” he said, smiling, “I’m peaceful. It’s so nice here.”

I returned his smile and let out a huge yawn.

“But you’re tired,” he said, laughing, “Which isn’t surprising. You’ve been up so late lately with Layla.”

“So have you.”

“I’m used to not getting enough sleep. It came with the record deal.”

I laughed and returned my head to his chest.

“Tell me about the cast,” I said, closing my eyes.

“Cast?”

“For the movie.”

“Oh. Duh,” he laughed, “We’ve only met the main character, Mitchie. Well, her real name is Demi.”

“That’s cool,” I said, “What’s she like?”

“Well…” He shifted his position a bit. “She seems okay. Her voice is really good and she can dance. But I don’t know. Something tells me to be careful with her.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know how to explain it. It’s like, she seems dangerous. She’s new to this whole scene and she seems really bigheaded about it. I might just be acting paranoid though. It’s just those feelings I get…”

“Like that night in the car.” I shuttered at the memory.

“Exactly…” he whispered darkly.

“Well,” I took a deep breath, “I’m sure she’ll turn out to be a nice girl. If not, she can just join the club with Miley.”

He laughed. “If only every girl were like you.”

I looked down to hide my blush. “That wouldn’t be much fun now, would it?”

I smiled at him and got closer, pressing my body against him.

“You’re not afraid of the paparazzi?” he asked as I leaned in.

“Let ‘em look. It’s nothing they haven’t seen already.” I sighed. “Besides, it’s been like, an hour. I’m going through withdrawal.”

He smirked. “So I’m like a drug to you now?”

“Exactly.”

I leaned down and kissed him, knowing that somewhere there was a flock of cameramen capturing our every move.

“You’re getting better at this,” he said as we broke apart.

“What? Kissing?”

He laughed out loud. “No, silly. The cameras and the crazy fans and…life.”

I took a deep breath. “I’m trying. I figured that since I love you and I love your family so much and believe in you and wanna be a part of your life, putting up with the little annoying, at times difficult, things seems worth it.”

He looked down and shook his head.

“What?” I asked.

“It’s so unfair to you.”

“Unfair?” I scoffed. “Nick, I told you I’d do anything for you. I meant it. It just takes getting used to. The lifestyle, I mean.”

“I still don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“Oh, hush now,” I said with a laugh, kissing him tenderly. “Mm, I think we should head back. My mom senses are tingling.”

“You sure it isn’t something else tingling?” he asked with a smirk.

I hit him playfully. “Perv.”

He laughed. “Nah, I think you’re right. Let’s go.”

We slipped on our shoes and jumped into the car, driving down the street and up our driveway. As we walked in, I was surprised the house wasn’t a pigsty filled with sobs from Layla…and Joe. Occasionally.

“Guess my senses were wrong,” I said.

“Told ya it was something else.”

I looked over at him and laughed.

But then my phone vibrated and my heart dropped.

“It’s okay,” Nick said quickly. “Don’t be scared. Just answer it.”

My palms began to sweat. “Alright.”

I pulled out the phone and held it up to my ear.

“H-hello?”

Long pause.

“Tell me why you sound like you were expecting Freddy Krueger or something.”

“Joe?”

“Yeah, who else? KC, it’s called Caller ID.”

I sighed, relieved. “Sorry, Joe. I actually was expecting someone along the lines of Freddy…”

“Oh,” he said, sounding worried.

“Yeah, it’s a long story. I’ll tell you later.”

“Okay. So where exactly are you?”

“Downstairs. You?”

“Are you serious? I totally did not hear the front door. Listen, me and Kev have plans tonight and Mom and Dad are taking Frankie somewhere for school. At least that’s what I heard when they were telling me. Anyway, I hope you and Nick aren’t gonna be busy. ‘Cause you know, Layla… By the way, you look really nice.”

I laughed. “How would you know?”

“’Cause I’m right behind you.”

I jumped.

“HOLY SH – JOE! You scared me!”

Both boys erupted in laughter. Joe wrapped his arms around me, pulling me into a bear hug.

“Love you, KC.”

“Yeah, yeah.” I hit his shoulder playfully.

“So, as I was saying…”

“We didn’t make plans,” I said, “Don’t worry.”

“Sweet. That’s perfect.” He grinned.

“Who are you going out with?” asked Nick.

“Well, Kevin has a date with Danielle.”

“And you?”

He took a moment to answer. “Demi called.”

Nick gave me the look. He wasn’t happy.

“That’s great, Joe. Have fun,” I said, forcing a smile.

“Thanks! See you guys later.”

He gave Nick a high five and kissed my cheek before walking out to his car.

“This is bad.”

“Nick, it’s okay. Even if she isn’t the best influence, Joe’s a smart guy. He has common sense…most of the time. He’ll see through her. He’s had his fair share of her type.”

“That’s the problem,” he said, “That’s his type.”

I started up the stairs and took his hand in mine.

“What?” I asked, confused.

“He likes the bad girls. He says he doesn’t, but I can tell. He’d never do anything with them but he likes the fact that they’re like that. And when he refuses to do stuff with them and starts to really fall for them instead, they dump him. He always takes it rough. Always.”
I felt my heart sink a bit. I hated the idea of Joe getting hurt by anyone.

“Why does he put himself in that situation, then?”

“He can’t really help it. He falls for them too fast. He can’t tell the difference between love and lust. He’s never actually been in love. But I hope he knows the feeling one day because it’s incredible.”

We reached the top of the stairs and he pulled me close.

“Believe me,” I said, “I know.”

We were walking towards the nursery when Kevin ran into us, holding three multi-colored ties and sporting a messy bed head.

“Oh,” he said quickly, “sorry, guys.”

“It’s all good, Kev. Are you okay?” Nick asked him. Kevin was flustered, jumping around like the ground was made of fire.

“Me? Oh, yeah. I’m fine. I’m just having a little anxiety attack. Dani’s expecting me in an hour and I have no idea what I’m doing.”

“Okay, first of all,” Nick placed both hands flat on his brother’s shoulders, “take a deep breath. It’s gonna be fine. It’s just Dani. You love her and she loves you. This is a good thing.”

Kevin tried to nod in agreement.

“Second, take a shower. Wear the black suit with the blue tie. Don’t wear Chucks this time. It’s a big deal. Use my cologne. It’s in the top drawer of Kara’s dresser. And don’t panic. Please.”

“Okay. Cologne. Suit. Shower. Tie. Gotcha.”

“Not exactly in that order but yes. Good luck, bro.”

Nick patted Kevin’s back before he walked downstairs.

“OH! By the way!” Kevin yelled at the foot of the stairs. “We put Layla to bed already! You’re welcome!”

“Thanks, Kev! Love you!” I replied.

“You too!” he said before we heard a small crash and the distant words “I’m okay.”

I laughed. “What’s gotten into him? He sees Dani all the time.”

“Nah, this time is different.” Nick grinned. “Special.”

I looked into his proud, sparkling eyes.

“No way. He’s gonna ask?” I said in disbelief.

He nodded happily.

“Oh, my God! This is amazing! She’s totally gonna say yes. Do your parents know?”

He laughed. “He hasn’t told them yet. I told him to but he was too scared.”

“Aww.”

“It’s understandable though. I was scared.”

“You were?”

He nodded. “Terrified.”

“Why?”

“Well, I was really afraid to ask them. I was afraid of what they’d think. They told me the ring was a big commitment and we were too young. But I didn’t care. I knew what I wanted.”

I rested my head against his shoulder.

“But I was even more afraid to ask you.”

I looked up at him. “You thought I would say no.”

He nodded.

I smiled. “That’s all I want – to be with you forever.”

He laughed. “You, me, and Layla. A happy little family.”

“Well,” I paused, “it could get bigger.”

I saw him blush and try to hide it.

“I hope it does,” he said, kissing my forehead.

We turned the knob of the nursery door and walked inside, careful not to make a sound.

“I’m impressed,” I whispered. The boys had done everything. They had fed her, changed her, played with her. They had washed all the bottles, put away all the toys, took out the trash, everything. Layla was fast asleep, snug in her warm crib. Nick leaned down and kissed her forehead.

“Guess we have an easy night ahead of us,” he said, smiling.

“Unless she wakes up.”

“True.”

“But until then, yes. Easy peasy.”

He smiled. “I’ll make dinner,” he said, kissing me lightly.

“You don’t have to do that. We can have leftovers.”

“I want to.” He grinned, flashing me his pearly whites.

I laughed. “Alright.”

“But first…” He took my hand and led me out of the room, down the hall to the bathroom.

“What are you doing?” I asked, laughing.

“It’s a lot of work taking care of a new baby, moving to a whole new state, getting used to this crazy insane life… You’re tense. All the time. I can feel it when I hold you.”

I watched as he crossed the massive bathroom and turned on the bathtub faucet, pouring in some scented bubble soap and waiting for it to fill.

“You need to relax. Me telling you to isn’t doing much good, so maybe this will. Frankly at this point, I’m willing to try anything.”

I was speechless.

“Nick. You are so. Sweet. I can’t even put it into words.”

He smiled hugely and turned off the water, walking over to take me in his arms.

“Just relax now. For me. Imagine paradise. Close your eyes. Let it all go.”

I complied. All I saw in paradise was him.

“Breathe,” he whispered.

I felt his hands move up and down my back slowly and firmly.

He pressed my shoulders and undid the knots, his hands like magic.

He brought one hand to my face and kissed me. He knew that was my weakness. He was gentle, but I wasn’t. I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I pressed myself to him and intensified the kiss, feeling him smile against my skin. He gripped my waist.

“You’re supposed to be relaxing,” he said, smirking.

“It’s your fault.”

He laughed and pulled apart, keeping his arms around me loosely. He waited for me to catch my breath.

His eyes suddenly turned nervous as I felt him tuck his hands under my shirt. I didn’t know whether he was trying to relax me or testing the waters. Either way, my heart was thudding so hard, I swear he could hear it. I gave him the green light and put my arms in the air, allowing him to pull my shirt up and off.

His eyes danced over my body and I could feel goosebumps popping up on my skin.
He held me and kissed me gently, his lips barely moving. His hands found their way to my bra strap and I felt it fall off my shoulder.

Right when I wanted more, he stopped.

“The water’s gonna get cold,” he whispered hotly, resting his forehead against mine. I knew he wanted to keep going. But we both wanted to honor his promise. And he still thought he hurt me every time he touched my like that.

“Nick,” I whispered. I didn’t want him to let go.

“I know,” he replied. “But we have to.”

I sighed deeply and felt him unwrap his arms around me.

“Get in, okay? Before it freezes over.” He smiled warmly and kissed me one last time, moving a strand of hair out from my eyes.

“I love you,” I said.

He grinned. “I love you more.”

Before I could contest, he walked out and shut the door lightly behind him.

I sighed. We both had this urge, this curiosity. But so many things held us back. The most important was Nick’s promise. We both valued our purity. Mine had been tarnished, but that didn’t mean Nick’s had to be too. I kept my old purity ring stashed in a tiny velvet box in my dresser. It matched his. But I couldn’t wear mine anymore.

I wasn’t pure anymore.

But I wanted him to be. The only thing was that even if he hadn’t made that promise, I knew he wouldn’t bear to touch me anyway. He thought I would start crying if I remembered something. He was always so afraid. Deep down, I knew I was afraid too. I’d never been affected by his touch – only others. I just always remember someone else doing it instead. But with him, it comes naturally. I was perfectly comfortable kissing him and having him touch me. I had confidence that it wouldn’t be scary with him. It would be beautiful. But my fear was that if we went further, who knew how I would feel. Nobody really knows what might happen. And it would kill me to make him upset like that. I think only time would tell.
Besides, I was more than willing to wait. I didn’t have a purity ring, but I had my promise ring sitting there sparkling on my hand. I knew that one day, I would have Nick in that sense. There will be nothing holding us back.

And it would be beautiful.

I turned around and dipped my toe into the bathtub. The water was still hot. It didn’t feel right making Nick do all the work, but I knew that if I didn’t show up downstairs sooner or later with wet hair and the smell of bubble soap, he’d be furious. So I went ahead and stripped off the rest of my clothing, slowly lowering myself into the sweltering water. It was hot, but I felt my muscles loosen and body relax in no time. He had been so right – I needed this.

I relaxed in the water, closing my eyes and letting my mind wander, until it cooled. Then I drained the tub and turned on the shower to wash my hair.

Nick was going to be impressed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

About an hour later, I went downstairs and found Nick in the kitchen, mixing a pot on the stove. I snuck up behind him and hugged his waist.

“It smells so good in here,” I said as the aroma filled my nose.

“Thanks,” he replied, spinning around to see my face, “It’s baked chicken and penne. Oh, and ice cream sundaes for dessert. Just in case you were wondering.”

“Yum. I can’t wait.”

He sighed, looking me up and down.

“You look beautiful,” he said, smiling.

I felt the blood rush to my cheeks. With my wet curls, shorts, and one of Nick’s flannel shirts, I wasn’t even trying to be beautiful. Only he would think so.

“Thank you,” I said shyly, hiding against his chest.

I heard him laugh. “Any time.”

He pulled my face up to kiss me, parting my lips with his. His face was warm from working over the stove. His hands found my waist and he picked me up like a child, sitting me on the marble countertop.

“How was your bath?” he asked.

“Amazing. You should join me next time.”

He was the one to blush this time. He grinned, kissed my forehead, and began looking through the cabinets.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

“Nah,” he said as he pulled out some lids and stuck them on each pot. “It just needs to simmer for a while.”

Then he casually placed one hand on my back and the other behind my knees, picking me up like we were going over the threshold.

I laughed. “You’re gonna have to do this again after our wedding.”

He grinned and began walking towards the living room. “I. Can’t. Wait.”

I was thrown gently onto the couch and once he brought in the baby monitor and took a seat, I straddled him.

“You’re quite feisty today,” he said, smirking.

“Should I stop?”

“No.” He took my waist.

“It’s just that… You’re going to start getting really busy soon with the movie and the music. You know, rockstar stuff. And I have Layla and you know, mom stuff. So I want to spend as much time with you as I can. While you’re still here.”

He took a deep breath. “Even if I’m really busy, I’m always going to make time for you and Layla. Don’t worry.” He smiled warmly.

I believed he would try, but I knew it would be tough. His hectic life was about to grow even more insane.

“I love you, Nick,” I said, resting my head on his shoulder and kissing his neck.

He sighed. “I love you, too.” He began rubbing my back. I felt like such a child. “I could stay like this for the rest of the night.”

I smiled against his skin.

“But the food will burn the house down.”

I laughed and groaned at the same time, not wanting him to let go. He grabbed my thighs and tossed me to the side, kissing my lips before saying “I’ll be back” and getting up.
I smiled and sat up straight on the leather couch. My phone suddenly rang from within my shorts and I pulled it out, answering it without much thought.

Stupid me.

“Hello?”

“Kara?”

My heart stopped. “Mom…”

“Kara, Max is dead.”