Here Comes the Sun

The whole hyperventilating everyday thing was really beginning to tire me out. I stared wide-eyed at Taylor’s picture for a long time, trying to remember if it had really been him before I started accusing. It didn’t seem right – he was always such a nice person, driving me and Mikenna to the movies and helping us with homework after school. Truthfully, he was the last person I had expected. Part of me thought Max’s paranoia was just rubbing off on me and I had to find some excuse to get upset. How desperately I wished that were true…

But those eyes told me everything. He had been wearing a mask that day, but I could never forget his eyes – ice cold blue. I scolded myself for ever thinking they were beautiful, back when I was a stupid kid with a stupid middle school crush. Just with that picture, every painful memory came rushing back into my head. My body began to ache as I remembered the pain he had caused me, inside and out. Then I thought of Layla. I thought of her face and prayed she looked nothing like him, but as I thought harder, she really did. She had my hair and my eyes, but her nose resembled his and so did her lips. Maybe she’d grow out of it.

This can’t be happening.

“Kara?” I heard a voice. “Kara, can you hear me?"

“Tim, what’s wrong with her?” said Joe, “She just fell over all of a sudden.”

I blinked a few times to bring myself back and saw that I was on the floor. Taylor’s file was laying open in front of me and everyone was sitting around in a circle with worried faces – especially Nick.

“Baby, are you okay?” he asked me hesitantly, reaching for my hand.

I pointed weakly to the picture and tried to speak, but I couldn’t find my voice.

“What is it?”

“That’s…” I managed to say.

“That’s Taylor Johnson,” Joe finished for me, “Mikenna’s brother, remember? And Officer Shawn’s son. Back in Jersey.”

That shocked me even more and I felt my jaw drop. I remembered Officer Shawn Johnson – he had been in charge of my case. He’d told me it was too late to do anything. He’d told me I had waited too long.

But all along, he was just protecting his son.

“That’s him,” I said, barely audible. Fear began building up inside my chest.

“What?” the boys asked in unison.

I took a deep, unsteady breath. “Max found him. That’s who…raped me.”

I was struggling to keep my voice even. The boys stared at me with wide, dark eyes. In the blink of an eye, they turned angry – absolutely furious. Joe ripped the picture right out of the file and stared at it, almost tearing it in half out of fury. I saw Nick’s hands curl up into fists so tight, his knuckles were turning white. His breathing quickened and he looked away from me, not wanting me to see his face.

Seeing them so angry was almost scary.

“Wait a minute,” said Tim, who had come in to try and revive me. His voice turned soft as he looked at me sadly. “Kara, you were raped?”

I bit my lip nervously and nodded.

“I am…so sorry,” he said, shaking his head, “That makes so much sense.”

“What?” Nick asked in a voice that didn’t sound like his own at all.

“That’s what Max was lookin’ for all along. He just never told anyone. God, I wish he would’ve told me. I would’ve helped. Listen, if there’s anythin’ I can do to help…”

“Where is this guy?” Joe asked angrily.

Tim picked up the file and read it carefully.

“Some place called Wyckoff?”

The boys quickly got to their feet and Nick helped me up roughly.

“Let’s go,” he said gruffly, wrapping a tight arm around my waist. He and Joe began walking out, dragging me along with them.

“Officer Tim, thank you so much for your help,” I managed to get out fast as Nick pushed me out the door.

“Anytime, Kara. You know where to find me if you need help.”

Nick kept me close to him and his body was tense, shaking with anger.

“Where are we going?” I asked, afraid.

“Wyckoff.”

We walked out of the station towards the car, ignoring the questions being thrown at us by the paparazzi. Nick was walking so fast, I had to run to keep up with him.

“Jersey is across the country.” My voice broke. Things were happening so fast.

“Then we better hurry,” said Joe.

We reached the car and Nick opened my door quickly.

“Get in,” he said. He was in some kind of frenzy. His fists hadn’t opened since I’d told him. He was honestly scaring me. I struggled to breath, wrapping my arms around my torso.
“Nick…” I said, feeling the tears surface. I was terrified – terrified of Nick and Joe and their sudden anger, terrified of Taylor and going to Wyckoff to see him, terrified that something bad was about to happen very soon. My muscles were quivering and I couldn’t hold myself together anymore. I sobbed.

He paused and looked at me. I looked into his dark eyes that were filled with hatred and fury. I had never seen him look that way before. But after a moment, his expression softened and he brought a hand up to my cheek.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly, pulling me into his chest, “I’m scaring you, I know. I’m sorry.”

I cried into his shirt.

“Shh, it’s okay, Kara.”

“Nick, what’s happening? I can’t…I can’t believe it,”

He held me tighter and I felt my feet leave the ground. He picked me up and placed me gently in the backseat, never letting me go as he buckled me in.

“Nothing’s happening,” he told me sweetly, “I’m taking you home and you’re going to rest. Okay? Don’t be scared.”

I nodded as he kissed my forehead and shut the door, walking around to the other side and sitting down beside me.

But his hands were shaking the entire time.

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The drive back to the hotel had been rough. You could cut the tension with a knife and my heart was pounding with fear the entire time.

I couldn’t get the memory out of my head after that. It had returned stronger than ever and it was all I could think about. With every breath I took, I felt like I was slowly falling apart. Nick held me tight to his body and that helped me keep it together, but he was even worse. He couldn’t stop shaking and neither could Joe. They were both so angry.

When we got back to the hotel, it was dark. We had spent all day at the station, searching through the files. I hadn’t eaten. I hadn’t drunk anything. But I refused anything the boys offered me. Eventually, Nick laid me down on the bed and tucked me in, ordering me to get some sleep.

“Nick, how do you expect me to sleep? I can’t even breathe,” I told him, fighting back tears.

“Just…try for me, okay? I need you to try.”

My voice quivered. “What’s going to happen?”

“Nothing,” he said, “Don’t worry. Nothing is going to happen. Just sleep, okay?”

He leaned down to kiss me and I felt his lip tremble.

“I love you,” he whispered. I could hear the pain trapped in his voice.

“I love you, too,” I said quietly, feeling tears roll down my face.

He pulled the covers over my shoulders and walked away. I heard the bathroom door open and close, and someone dimmed the lights.

I knew if I slept, I would have a nightmare.

Hell, I was already in one.

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I had tried so hard not to sleep. But I still woke up crying, thinking of that day. My nightmare had been excruciating. It felt so real that I could almost feel him on me, touching my waist, my thighs… My skin was suddenly burning. I could see the gun pointed at my face. I could hear his voice telling me to stop screaming.

I pulled the covers over my head and cried silently, feeling around next to me for Nick. I needed him to hold me, but he wasn’t there.

I was alone.

After a while, I heard a door open and shut softly. I remained quiet so that I appeared asleep, wrapping my arms around my torso and pretending it was Nick so I could keep calm.

“Joe, I can’t take this anymore,” I heard Nick’s voice say, “It’s driving me insane.”

“Don’t be so loud,” said Joe, “She’s asleep.”

“Yeah, and she’s probably having a nightmare as we speak. I can see it in her eyes, Joe. She’s falling apart. And so am I.”

“You think I’m not? I want that guy to pay for what he’s done just as much as you do.”

“No, no, no…You don’t even understand. You have no idea what happens to me when I even think of someone doing that to her, someone touching her like that. I’ve never felt so angry. Shit, Joe! Someone raped her! Do you know how hard it is for me to even say the word? I want that guy to pay so fucking much.”

“I’m angry, too, Nick. She’s my baby sister. But you can’t just run to Jersey and take care of all this by yourself.”

“And why not? I would kill him if I could.”

“No. You wouldn’t. Listen, think of her. Think of how she must be feeling. This is killing her, Nick. And we’re only adding to it by scaring her.”

“I know,” Nick sighed, “She’s terrified.”

“So calm down. Don’t do anything drastic. Aren’t you supposed to be the mature one?” Joe laughed.

“I guess. But when Kara hurts, I hurt.”

“Listen, all you can do right now is be there for her. She needs you. We’ll fly to Jersey in the morning and go to the police station. Let’s see what happens after that. Okay?”

Nick was silent, but I guess he nodded.

“Okay, good. Now go get some sleep. No offense, but you look dead.”

I heard the boys hug each other and then the door opened and shut again – Joe had left the room. The weight of the bed shifted and I felt two muscular arms pull me close.

“You heard everything,” Nick said gently.

“How did you know?”

“Just a feeling,” he sighed and kissed my head. “You can sleep now, baby. You won’t have any nightmares. I’m here. I promise.”

“Don’t leave,” I whispered, clinging to him.

“I won’t. Ever. I love you.”

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The next morning was chaos. We were trying to balance too many different things at once, rushing to pack and talk to family at the same time. We had to get on video chat to talk to Mr. and Mrs. Jonas and of course, the fans. We had a purpose in Seattle and Jersey and we knew leaving was beyond important, but we still felt horrible ditching the fans and not evening giving them an update on how we were. They were probably worried sick – we’d been MIA for so long.

First, we called Denise and Paul…and Charlene.

“Have you three COMPLETELY LOST YOUR MINDS? What is wrong with you!? You just left the state without even consulting me first!?” Charlene screamed at her webcam.

“Char, calm down,” said Joe.

“CALM DOWN? Says the boy who is supposed to be the star of Disney’s next hit movie!? Did you forget about that? Rehearsals start tomorrow! Remember Demi? Yeah, she’s gonna be expecting you to be there along with all the other HUNDREDS of cast members!"

“Tell them to put it on hold. This is more important. They’ll understand.”

“UNDERSTAND? Ugh, you’re really pushing it here, Jonas!”

Charlene looked as though she’d just been attacked by a bear. Her red hair was frizzed up into a ponytail and her makeup-free face told me she hadn’t slept in a long while.

“Charlene,” I spoke up in an attempt to reason with her, “I know we’re putting you through hell. It was wrong to not talk to you first. But believe me, we wouldn’t have done this if it wasn’t a real emergency. I’ll take the blame because it really was my fault. The boys are just here for me.”

She sighed and peered at me through her bright green eyes.

“You’re lucky I like your girlfriend, Nick,” she said, smiling, “Alright, alright. I’ll call the director and make something up…”

She stood up and walked away, pulling out her cell phone and bringing it to her ear. The boys touched my back in appreciation.

Then, Mr. and Mrs. Jonas came into view with Kevin and little Frankie behind them.

“Oh, thank God you’re all okay!” Denise said in relief, grinning at us.

“Hi, Mom,” Nick said, smiling.

“How are you?” asked Paul. He was looking straight at me with sad eyes.

“We’re fine,” Joe answered, “Hanging in there, I guess.”

“Any news?”

The boys looked at each other and then looked down.

"Boys? What is it?"

There was a long, silent pause. I would have answered myself if I could bring myself to say the words. Nick took my hand.

“We have to go to Jersey,” he said.

“What? Why? What’s going on?”

Another long pause.

“We found him.”

I watch their faces transform into pure terror.

“And we think he had something to do with Max’s death.”

More shock.

“So we have to go.”

They were all speechless for a moment, staring at me in such pity, I had to look down to hide the tears that were building up. Denise looked over her shoulder to tell Frankie to go off and play – his young, innocent ears didn’t need to hear any of the pain. Kevin escorted him out and returned.

“Kids, this is dangerous. I don’t think you understand what can happen,” said Paul, “This is a very serious matter. We should go with you.”

“Dad, there’s no time,” replied Nick, “We could get him for murder and…Well, we could get him for everything.”

I felt him shudder beside me. He couldn’t bring himself to say the word.

“Nicholas, you are getting way too ahead of yourself. I know you’re angry. Everyone is angry. Kara’s our family. But I can’t allow you three to go across the country by yourselves to find a killer and a rapist. You’re not special agents – you’re children.”

“Just please understand, Dad. And Mom. We have to do this. We’re just going to go there, tell the police, preferably not Shawn Johnson, and wait for whatever their plans will be,” Joe explained. Even I was hearing the plan for the first time.

“Why not Officer Johnson? Joseph, he’s a good family friend and he’ll help you. It’s foolish not to tell him.”

There was silence again. I hoped one of the boys would tell them, so I wouldn’t have to. I couldn’t bear to say the name.

“It was his son, Dad,” Nick said through his teeth.

“What?” Mr. Jonas was in complete shock, “Taylor Johnson? You must be mistaken. It can’t be him. He’s such a good kid.”

Joe nodded. “Sadly, we’re not, Dad. It’s him,” he sighed, “We’re sure of it.”

Mr. Jonas stared at us in disbelief. “I can’t believe this.”

He stood up and walked out of the room, rubbing his forehead as he mumbled to himself.

Joe groaned and rolled his eyes. “Why is Dad so freaking dramatic?” he whispered so only we would hear him.

Nick and I both shrugged.

“Oh, I’m sorry, kids,” said Mrs. Jonas, “He’s just very taken aback by all this. It’s his best friend’s son, you know.”

“Yeah, we know.”

“Listen,” she said, leaning into the camera and looking at us anxiously, “Do you three honestly know what you’re doing?”

“Yes, Mom. We’re not going to do anything big. We promise,” said Joe, eager to convince her.

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Alright then,” she sighed, “I don’t know, maybe I’m being too lenient or just insane, but I’m letting you go.”

“Mom, we were going to go whether you let us or not.”

“Joseph Jonas, just you wait until you come home.”

Joe laughed. “Sorry, Mommy…”

“I’m just worried about my babies. How can you expect me not to be?” I saw her eyes begin to water. “After that car accident, I can’t even imagine being without you. Things can happen. I want calls every day and don’t go anywhere by yourselves. Stick together. Do you hear me?”

We nodded.

“I love you all,” she said softly, “And I miss you. Come home safe to me.”

“We will, Mom. Don’t worry,” said Nick.

“Please take care of yourselves. I’m begging you. And Kara, honey, be strong.” She smiled lovingly at me. “Everything is going to be fine and you’ll be home sooner than you know it. I promise.”

“Thank you,” I said, smiling, “I love you.”

“Love you, Mom!” said each of the boys.

Just before she was about to blow us one last kiss and turn off the webcam, I noticed a silver ring on Kevin’s finger. The light bulb went off in my head.

“Wait!” I yelled, almost falling out of my chair, “Kevin!”

Kevin sat down and adjusted the camera so we could see his sweet, smiling face. “Yeah, Kara?”

“When we left, everything was moving so fast and I didn’t get a chance to ask you. What did she say?” I smiled in anticipation.

Kevin grinned shyly. “You remembered,” he said, “Well…she said yes!”

“Whoa, congrats, bro!” said Nick and Joe, finally loosening up a bit. “When is the wedding?”

“Mom said a few months, but I don’t know. We’ll talk when you guys get back.” Kevin’s smile was so huge, it warmed my heart to see it. “Oh, hold on a minute. Someone wants to say hello.”

He escaped for a moment and I predicted Dani walking over to say hi. I had met her once before, many years ago, back when she and Kevin weren’t even together. But I hadn’t seen her since. It would be nice to get to know her more, especially now that she was going to be the next Mrs. Jonas.

But that’s not who Kevin had in mind.

He came into view holding a small baby dressed in most precious lime green dress. Kevin turned her around on his lap so I could see her gorgeous face.

“Look, Lay! It’s Mommy!”

I gazed at her in awe, marveling over those big brown eyes I was missing so much. I saw Nick wave at her lovingly from the corner of my eye. It felt like it had been ages since I had seen her and felt her in my arms last.

“Hi, Layla sweetie!” I said, grinning at her, “I miss you so much. Do you know that? I miss my little Lay oh so much.”

Joe began making funny faces at her and she laughed so sweetly, it made my heart ache.
“Did you see that?” Nick said excitedly, “She laughed!”

Kevin chuckled, but then his face fell a bit. “She hates the new formula. And she’s been restless at night,” he said, “She really miss you.”

I watched intently as Layla tried to touch the computer screen with her small hand, and when she felt hard glass instead of me, she began to whimper.

“Aw, Lay. Baby, don’t cry,” cooed Nick.

“Layla, Mommy will be home soon. And so will Nicky and Joey. I promise. Please don’t cry. I love you,” I said, blowing her kisses.

“Try singing her to sleep, Kev,” said Joe, “It works.”

“I know. I do every night. It’s actually pretty fun playing babysitter,” he laughed, adjusting her dress, “But Mom’s been going crazy with the clothes. Every time she goes out, she comes back with a brand new outfit. She got this one last night.”

The three of us laughed out loud, picturing Mrs. Jonas running to a baby boutique all the time. It was nice to loosen up.

“Thank you so much, Kevin,” I said, “You’re such a big help. I owe you big time for taking such good care of her. I wouldn’t trust anybody but you guys to be alone with her.”

“No, it’s my pleasure. I love this girl.” He pulled her against his chest for a hug and she smiled.

“Alright, bro, we better get going. The flight’s in an hour and we still have to record the fan video,” said Joe as he kept waving at Layla. The last thing I wanted was to leave her – I wanted to sit there and look at her all day.

“An hour? You guys definitely don’t have enough time,” Kevin said, “Don’t worry about the video. I’ll do something. Just get going.”

“You think? Aw, man. Okay well if you talk to them or tweet them or whatever, make sure you tell them that we love them and that we’re sorry. Tell them we’re okay.”

“Will do, bro. You take care of yourselves, alright? I need you all in one piece for the wedding.” He grinned hugely.

“Don’t you worry,” said Nick, “Just look after my baby girl.”

Kevin laughed. “You got it. I love you guys.”

“We love you more.”

“Say bye-bye to Mommy, Layla!”

“Bye, Lay! We love you, sweetie,” I said, waving at her and smiling.

She laughed happily as we said our goodbyes, but as Kevin reached for the “off” button, I saw her begin to cry just before the screen went dark.