Fearing Death

Jordyn held Jon’s hand tightly as they walked into the player’s entrance of the United Center, Patrick and Sara bringing up the rear. It was late August and also the Blackhawks’ first preseason home game against the St. Louis Blues. The children’s red Kane sweater was heavy on her back and her hair bounced in a ponytail as she looked around, knowing there were probably a lot of people in the building before them.

“You okay?” Jon asked tentatively, looking down at her, giving her hand a reassuring squeeze. She looked up at him; nodding silently as her other hand grasped the necklace around her neck. A gift from Bryan and Andree, Toews in a soft silver script rest across the small dip in her collarbone; it made her feel terribly loved. Jon also liked it especially today since Patrick had conned her into wearing a jersey he brought over as opposed to the small jersey Jon was planning on giving her before the game as well. He supposed that could wait until the season opener.

Jordyn had experienced Jon leaving a few times so far, but never more than two days at a time, leave at noon one day, come home late at night the next. Jon was glad that she could slowly ease her into dealing with him being away. He was also excited that she was at the game tonight to support him. Even if she was wearing that ridiculous jersey that Patrick had signed more than twenty times, nearly turning the white letters black.

Jon walked with Jordyn around the lower level of the building, showing her things like the locker room, the trainer’s room, and even the bench, keeping his hat pulled down low. They played for a moment, tossing pucks out onto the ice, trying to get it closest to the center dot. Jordyn cheered as her puck knocked his off of the circle, taking his place. Exploding into a fit of giggles, Jon swept her off of the bench, bringing her back to the family lounge.

“I have to go get ready,” he began to kneel, pulling out his wallet and handing her a twenty. “For treats, I know they have plenty of good food and dessert.” He winked, making Jordyn grin, knowing that they both recently discovered she had a horrible sweet tooth. “I’ll see you after the game, wish me luck, huh?” He teased, nipping at her side with his fingers. Jordyn smiled, before throwing her arms around his neck.

“Good luck.” She smiled faintly at the familiar smell of his soap and cologne. Jon kissed her forehead softly before standing up.

“Don’t let her out of your sight.” He instructed Sara as if she didn’t know better. Sara nodded, humoring him as she took Jordyn’s hand so they could walk about the concourse, look at the merchandise and get the little girl a hot dog.

Since Sara had been dating Patrick for over two years now, she was somewhat known around the arena, and noticed by the public. It was the image of her showing a little girl donning a Kane jersey around the UC that really turned heads that night. Jordyn was sitting in her seat three rows off the ice rather contently; swinging her legs as she nibbled on her chicken fingers and French fries she was sharing with Sara as well as a big pop.

“Look, there he is!” Sara pointed Jon out to Jordyn as he took to the ice, gaining the cheers of the fans that were already in their seats for the warm up. Jordyn was bouncing in her seat she was so excited as she watched move about the ice. She had never witnessed anything like this in her life and now to be thrown right in the middle of it was something so new.

“This game stops a lot.” Jordyn commented softly about halfway through the second period. Sara laughed at her notion and nodded. She had been very well behaved throughout the game and extremely curious about how hockey worked. She didn’t ask many questions, but rather liked to figure things out on her own. Before the third period, she and Sara shared a hot fudge sundae. Jordyn would let her eyes wander to Jon whenever he was on the bench, which wasn’t often, but when she caught his attention, she smiled when she would catch him looking back.

Jordyn followed Sara happily down to the player’s lounge after the Blackhawks won against the Blues five to three. Jon, who was usually hounded by press, insisted that he was in a hurry, even to the few that were there for just a preseason game. Hurrying out to meet Jordyn and Sara, he took a record-breaking shower, toweling off his hair, and for once, he was one of the first out of the locker room as opposed to the last.

“Hey baby girl.” He breathed out in a rush, hugging Jordyn tightly. “Did you have fun? Did you get something to eat? Did you stick with Sara?” He asked, hoisting her up onto his hip. Three and a half months they had been together and it still felt like she was too light, even for her naturally petite frame.

“Yes, I had fun, Sara and I got chicken fingers and fries and ice cream.” She smiled. “There were a lot of people with your shirt on.” She added. “Is that cause they like you?” She asked, tilting her head, her blonde pony flopping with her as well, lightly brushing against his neck. Jon wasn’t above pretending that everyone else in the room was watching their semi-intimate moment. Jordyn was hyper, she always asked a million questions when she was hyper and Jon was sure he could thank the ice cream for that.

“Hey Captain serious.” Jon turned at his dreadful nickname to see one of his oldest buddies enter the player’s lounge. TJ Oshie and Jonathan Toews went back all the way to University and still kept in touch as best as two men in their twenties could. “Well give me a hug ya big shit.” He laughed, throwing his arms open. Jon carefully set Jordyn down on her feet before giving TJ the hug he demanded. “How you doin’, Taze? Well I mean, I know you’re doing good, but what’s new, huh?” He asked, the same excited, boyish smile on his face that he had when he had met TJ all those years ago.

“Lots of things.” Jon smiled, “keepin’ the team together, working hard…” He trailed, reaching his hand out to Jordyn. She shyly took his hand, hiding as best she could behind him, her four-foot-seven frame barely peeking out from behind his back. Jon reached around himself and tugged playfully on her ponytail. “Jordyn, this is TJ, he’s one of my best friends, say ‘hi’.” He laughed, not ever seeing her this shy before.

“Hi.” Jordyn blushed, wanting to stick her face in Jon’s back and hide away.

“Hello there.” TJ winked, making her cheeks flush an even deeper pink and a small giggle emit from her. Jon rolled his eyes, TJ could still make any girl he wanted blush and giggle, even now. “So, uh, you babysitting… or?” TJ asked casually and curiously.

“No, not exactly. Jordyn’s mine.” He added, this being the first time he had ever explained their particular situation. He watched as the color drained from his friend’s face and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Um, is there something you never told me a couple years ago? You got someone knocked up at NoDak and kept it from everyone?” TJ leaned into Jon, hissing slightly. “Jon, what the fuck?” He asked, making Jon frown and glance down to Jordyn quickly.

“I didn’t get anyone knocked up, TJ.” Jon’s eyebrows knit together. “I adopted Jordyn in May.” He reasoned, watching as TJ’s expression changed from shock to curious to confused.

“I-uh… what?” He asked intelligently. Was it rude for him to talk about the girl right in front of her? “Can you… what?”

“She’s mine, I adopted her.” Jon repeated, hoisting Jordyn back up onto his hip. “She’s my girl.” He grinned.

TJ couldn’t mistake the look of extreme pride and happiness on his friend’s face, something that people didn’t get to see too often, and even if he was beyond confused and totally thrown off by this change of events, he knew that Jon was the kind of man with a level head that wouldn’t make any brash decisions.

“Well… she’s cute.” TJ grinned. “What’s your name, sweetheart?” He asked, reaching out to drag a finger along her jaw line.

“Jordyn.” She whispered quietly.

“And how old are you, Jordyn? Eight?” He asked, flirting with her affectionately.

“Eleven.” She huffed with a frown, making him look at Jon for a split second. “How old are you? Forty?” She snipped back quickly, making TJ frown then slowly stretch his lips into a grin.

“I like her.” He laughed, making Jon smile.

Everyone liked Jordyn. Jon could only hope the same for the kids at her new school she would be starting in two weeks.

•••

“Wake up!” Jordyn squealed, pouncing on Jon as he slept in his bed, eyes glued shut tiredly and she was greeted with a groan from her Dad. “Wake up, wake up, wake up!” She bounced on the mattress before landing knees-first on his thighs, making him groan louder.

“Jordyn.” He whined. “It’s six in the morning, we don’t have to leave for another two hours.” Enclosing his arms around her, he brought her down to the mattress. “Sleep, go back to sleep.” His hoarse, tired voice whispered. “Sleep is good.” He muttered, eyelids already feeling heavy.

“But you said we could go to breakfast! And you have to shower and get ready.” She whined, wiggling from his grasp.

“I don’t have to shower, there, twenty more minutes.” He insisted, eyes still shut. Jordyn wiggled out of his arms before dropping to her knees again, this time, right on his stomach. “Oh God.” He wheezed, eyes popping open. “Okay, okay, I’m up.” He sighed as she giggled, crawling off his bed and running down the hall.

“And shower! You stink!” She called, laughing her little head off before closing her bedroom door to get ready. Jon shook his head with a grin, lugging his legs off the side of his bed and allowing his upper body to follow. Jordyn was ready in record time, dressed in an outfit she and Jon picked out the other day as he took her on a Sunday date. They went to dinner at their favorite pizza place, stopped by the Cornerstone Mall, and even got ice cream on the way home to celebrate the end of summer and a new beginning for Jordyn at the prestigious Morgan Park Academy.

Jon was surprised to hear that even though he was footing the twenty-seven thousand dollar bill, the students didn’t have to wear a uniform. Jordyn smoothed out her green top, a sleeveless paisley print thing that looked nice with her white Bermuda shorts (short shorts were clearly out of the question) and her brown leather flip-flops. Her backpack, a replica to the first one Jon bought her, was happily perched on her back all morning as she ran around the apartment. Brushing her hair neatly, she parted the soft blonde locks to the left before grabbing her Toews necklace and running into Jon’s room. She handed it to him before turning her back to him so he could clasp it for her.

“I’ll be ready in ten, okay? Go watch some cartoons.” He gave her a kiss on the top her head and she bounced excitedly into the next room, slipping on her special occasion flats for her first day instead of her sandals. “Okay, Grandma wants a picture, so why don’t you go stand by the front door and I’ll snap one.” Jon instructed as he entered the family room, shaved and ready for the day. Jordyn hopped up right away, standing by the door and giving Jon her best smile. Taking a few pictures, managing one of the two of them as well, the wrapped up and headed out the door.

Soon they were eating breakfast at a local diner, a regular for the two of them, one of their favorite places to eat a big, fulfilling lunch on game days.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you two here this early.” The woman who usually sat them said with a grin, showing them to their regular booth.

“It’s someone’s first day of school.” Jon smiled, nodding to Jordyn who blushed. It was noticeable, the change in Jordyn’s demeanor around strangers since she had been adopted. She was much more meek and shy than she used to be, but he knew she wouldn’t have a problem making friends. At least, he hoped not.

“Oh that’s exciting.” The waitress, Lara, smiled sweetly. “My two boys start today, too, but they’re much older, a sophomore and senior in high school.” She added. “But enough about that, what can I get you two to eat?”

Jon and Jordyn ordered identical short stacks of blueberry pancakes, but a side of sausage for Jordyn, while Jon ordered bacon, hash browns, and three scrambled eggs on the side. They played their favorite game in their small booth, sliding a sugar packet across the tabletop, trying to park it on the edge of the table with a part of the packet hanging off the end without it falling off altogether.

Jordyn took a long sip of her chocolate milk as Jon kept her latest attempt, picking up the packet and pouring it into his coffee.

“Are you nervous at all for your big day?” He asked, wanting to know what she was thinking. She looked around the booth thoughtfully, glancing at the daily trivia before shrugging her slender shoulders.

“I don’t think so, I mean, it’s everyone else’s first day, too, right?” She asked, tilting her head.

“Yes, it is, but you’re new to the school.” He said as Lara returned with their breakfasts. “Thank you.” He smiled as she set their plates down.

“I know, but I’m not nervous.” She shrugged. “Sara said that we probably wouldn’t do anything hard today, just introductions, you know? Why? Do you think I should be nervous?” She asked, tilting her head curiously.

“Not at all.” Jon shook his head. “I know you’ll be great. You’re incredibly smart and sweet, Jordyn; don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You’re a Toews, you’re brave and bright.” He gave her a quick pep talk. Soon, will full stomachs and eager minds, Jon drove to the academy. Parking in a close spot to the junior high portion of the grounds, Jon killed the engine as students of all ages flooded onto the beautiful campus. “Do you want to walk me in?” He asked, frowning as he watched a gaggle of teenage boys walking into the building in that same slow, confident way Patrick walked.

“I can do it.” Jordyn insisted, her hands clasped tightly around the straps of her backpack.

“Are you sure?” He asked, wishing shed’ ask him anyways.

“I’m sure.” She nodded.

“Okay, we’ll I’ll be here at two-fifty, this same spot, I’ll kick someone else’s Dad out of I have to.” He grinned, making her smile as well. “Have fun, learn lots.” Jordyn leaned over, kissing Jon on the cheek before hopping out of the car. His eyes trained on her intensely as she walked into the building before glancing to the clock once she was out of sight. Only six hours and fifty minutes until she was back again.

Jon didn’t know what to do with his day, and he wondered what he did before Jordyn came along. He took another two-hour nap before his midday skate, cleaned up the family room a bit before wandering into Jordyn’s room. Making her bed quickly, situating her penguin among her pillows, grinning at the name she decided for him, Doug. Sara, back from her classes of the day by noon, brought by a plate of oatmeal peanut butter chocolate chip cookies for Jordyn. Jon ate three then settled on the couch to watch some of the shows he had recorded.

He was back in the parking lot by two-thirty, ready for Jordyn to come bouncing out so they could talk about her first day. The next twenty minutes passed by dreadfully slow but he heard the familiar school bell ring and the courtyard was once again flooded with students. Jordyn didn’t come out right away and Jon would lie if you asked if he was nervous. Relief in sight, Jordyn walked out from the building, a big smile across her face as she spotted the truck. Hopping up into the passenger seat she breathed out an excited ‘hi’.

“Hey you, how was it?!” He asked excitedly as she tossed her backpack into the backseat.

“It was so great. My teacher, Mr. Blake, he’s so cool, and I have this awesome art class, and we really didn’t do any work today, but I love my class so much. I met some people too, actually a lot of new people.” She explained excitedly as Jon pulled from the parking lot. “And! In two weeks, we can try out for sports!” She chirped, eyes wide and all atwitter.

“Sports?” Jon arched his eyebrow. “Like you want to play soccer or volleyball?” He asked, hitting the main road that was a straight shot back to their apartment building.

“No, I want to play lacrosse!” She bounced.

“Lacrosse? I don’t think so.”