Fearing Death

The first week of October, the Blackhawks had a three day away trip to New York to play the Rangers in Madison Square Garden, Jon was more than happy to pull Jordyn out of school two hours early to accompany them on the trip. Bouncing off the plane, she held Jon’s hand tightly, looking around JFK excitedly.

When he had informed her of the trip a few weeks prior, she expressed how jealous she was of all the traveling he got to do, confessing that she had rarely left the city limits in her small lifetime. Jon knew right then that she was coming with them on this trip, and with the support of Sara coming along as well, he knew she would have a good time.

Quenneville was just fine with Jon getting a room to share with Jordyn, Patrick sharing a room with Sara for the night on a different floor.

“Look!” Jordyn squealed, standing in front of the floor to ceiling windows in their hotel room. Jon smiled as he leaned in the doorway, so happy for how excited she was. He never really appreciated the cities he traveled to until she showed him how special they were. “Are you hungry, too?” She asked, swiveling her hips to look at him with a cute grin and he laughed with a nod.

“Let’s go find some lunch, huh?” He held out his hand. She bounded over to him, wearing a new pair of jeans she had bought with Sara and a youth Blackhawks sweatshirt. The city was unseasonably cool and the city blocks were a power grid of wind. He listened to her talk animatedly about her friends at school as they walked through the bustling people and bright lights of Times’ Square.

“Amy, when I told her we were going to New York, said that they have shops here just for cupcakes. Like, they don’t sell anything there but cupcakes, not even regular cakes.” She lamented.

“Well you know what? I know they do, and I also happen to know exactly where one of those shops is.” He grinned, holding her hand tightly as she looked up with him with a grin glinting in her blue eyes. “Yes, we can go.” He laughed at her unasked question.

Soon, the two were walking through central park, a hot dog in Jordyn’s hand and two in Jon’s while she carried their shared Sprite. There were a fair amount of people in the park as well, looking at the changing foliage Also, there were several performance artists, painters, jewelry-makers, and musicians. Jon and Jordyn parked themselves on a bench not a few feet away from a young woman who was strumming an acoustic guitar softly.

Jon blushed as Jordyn licked her thumb before wiping away some ketchup that landed on the corner of his mouth before wiping her fingers on her napkin. Enjoying the few moments they got to themselves, Jordyn swung her legs over his lap, resting her head against his shoulder.

“I wish we had a big yard like this at home.” She said thoughtfully. Jon nodded quietly, pretending to be consumed in the performance, when really; he was consumed with his thoughts triggered by her statement.

His apartment building was no place to raise a kid Jordyn’s age. When he was her age, his parents practically fought him to come inside from playing in the yard all day. She had no backyard to play in, or practice lacrosse. He couldn’t imagine throwing her a birthday party in their two-bedroom place, or eventually, when she was responsible enough, getting her a puppy she’d have to take down an elevator every time she needed to take him outside.

As much as he loved his apartment after all the hard work he had put into it, as well as Andree, maybe he would need to be getting in touch with is realtor sooner than later. But thoughts like that had to wait; he wouldn’t be able to move now, not in the thick of the season.

“We forgot cupcakes!” Jordyn gasped as soon as they reached the hotel lobby again.

“It’s okay, how about we get them tonight after practice?” He suggested, making her nod.

“JT!” Jordyn’s head snapped in the other direction at the sound of Patrick’s voice. Wiggling down from Jon’s grasp, she ran to him excitedly, giggling at the way he would grasp her tiny hips and launch her over his shoulder, holding her like a pile of firewood. “We’re in New York! Let’s go get some brewskies and tattoos!” He laughed, making Jon scoff.

“Why don’t you go find some cab drivers to piss off?” Jon suggested with a grin, making Patrick roll his eyes as Sara joined them in the hallway. “We’re going to probably take a nap, then head off to practice.” Jon added, motioning to Jordyn who yawned, tired after an exciting day and a full stomach.

“Sounds good, we’re going to walk around for a bit and I’ll be back in time for practice.” Patrick nodded. Jon and Jordyn made their way into their room that was crisp and cool from the air conditioning, changing into clothes that were a little softer than their jeans before cuddling up in their queen sized beds. Jon flipped on the Disney Channel and it wasn’t long until they were both dead asleep.

Jon awoke forty-five minutes later to a soft knock on the door. Answering, it was Sara, reminding him that he needed to get to skate in twenty-five minutes.

“I don’t want to wake her up, can you stay with her?” Jon asked as he slung his duffel over his shoulder that contained a change of clothes and a few shower products.

“Yeah of course.” Sara nodded as he took off.

“Tell her I’ll be home soon and we’ll go get our cupcakes.” He shouted, walking backwards down the hall before dipping into the elevator. Sara gave him a soft smile and a thumbs up. Jon hopped on the bus for practice, all smiles and in an incredible mood.

•••

The team loaded back up onto the bus after their skate at Madison Square Garden, having a good time and ready for their game the following night. Their bus driver, Dan greeted them as they took their seats and the managers followed back onto the bus as well.

A few moments into the drive and they weren’t all too far from the hotel when a cell phone rang, a few blocks away.

Dan, the team’s driver for the past seven years spoke a few words into his cell phone before waving over coach Quenneville, whispering a few words into his ears, instigating a hushed conversation for a few moments. A few eyes were on the coach when the team realized that they hadn’t left yet and Joel stood at the head of the bus, running his hands over his hair.

“Hey listen up.” He called over the thick conversation among the men. “There’s something going on at the hotel and we’ve been asked to postpone our return, so we’re going to head back to the rink and hang out there for a bit, okay?” He announced as the bus rolled to a stop at a red light, two blocks from the Marriot.

Jon was the first to pop out of his seat. “What’s going on at the hotel?” He asked, walking forward form his sixth-row seat.

“There’s been a report of a fire, Jon, you have to –” Jon dashed past the coach, forcing the bus doors open, Patrick hot on his heels as they sprinted through the sidewalks. His heart began pound in his chest as he saw the fire trucks, but hardly any people on the streets in front of the hotel.

“Where is everyone?” He shouted angrily at one of the firefighters.

“The sprinklers malfunctioned, we’re evacuating room by room! Hey! You can’t go in there!” He shouted back. Jon forcefully shoved another one of the men out of his way as he muscled his way into the building, running to the stairs.

Six flights of stairs didn’t even burn his thighs as he bounded up them, Patrick still quick to follow, not being able to get a hold of Sara on his cell as he disappeared to the floor above Jon.

A thick cloud of black smoke layered the ceiling and Jon’s body was running on autopilot as he crossed his forearm over his mouth, the smoke burning his eyes. Fumbling with his wallet, he pulled out the keycard and prayed that Jordyn was already out.

It was only when he saw her small form lying on the bed that he could feel his world disappearing around him.

“Jordyn!” His voice came out as a strangled sob, taking her delicate shoulders in his large hands, her head dropping back against her shoulders as he tried to wake her. “Jordyn wake up!” He could feel his heart fluttering wildly. “Wake up!” His voice broke, patting her cheeks a little more forcefully. “Wake up! Wake up!” He began to shake her on a near-violent level. “Please?” His eyes clouded over with tears as he cradled her impossibly small body into his. “Wake up baby girl.” He whimpered as a man in a bright red firemen’s outfit entered the room a few moments later.

“Sir you need to exit the building!” He looked on at the scene with a shocked expression.

“She won’t wake up.” His voice quivered dangerously. “Don’t touch her!” He snarled at the man who attempted to take Jordyn from him. His arms shook as the fireman lead them from the building. He followed, his head bowed as a moist towel was placed over her head gently to keep the smoke at bay and away from her mouth.

“Right over here.” Jon’s mind was a swirl as paramedics began to work on Jordyn, taking her pulse and vitals.

“What’s going on?” Patrick asked, panting as Sara followed him to the ambulance.

“You were supposed to watch her!” Jon shouted, hopping to his feet and advancing towards the blonde. “You were supposed to watch her and now she won’t wake up.” Jon pointed an accusatory finger in Sara’s direction.

“I went to get a drink from the vending machine and the door locked behind me! She was asleep and wouldn’t wake up when I knocked! I’m so sorry Jon! The next thing I knew the firefighters were pulling me out of the building!” Sara exploded into tears.

“Jon, you need to calm down and be with Jordyn.” Patrick attempted to calm his friend down. “None of this was on purpose.” He tried to be reasonable. Jon was seeing red, trying to divert his anger; he turned back to the ambulance just as Jordyn awoke with a start, coughing terribly before the paramedics could put an oxygen mask over her mouth. She looked confused and terrified before Jon could appear in her line of sight.

“Daddy!” She sobbed, tears immediately pooling in her eyes as she tried to fight the paramedics, peeling the mask from her mouth.

“No, no, no. Keep it on baby girl, okay? Keep it on.” Jon was at her side in a split second. “Shh, it’s okay, it’s okay.” He brought her into his arms as she cried, scared out of her mind.

“What’s going on?” She sobbed, balling Jon’s shirt in her hands.

“You inhaled a lot of smoke, Jord.” Jon explained. “There was a fire on the floor below you and our room filled with smoke when you were sleeping.” He stroked her hair gently back from her face. “But it’s okay now, everything’s okay. I’m here.” He practically crushed her into his chest; just where she liked to be.

“Why are you crying?” She asked, her voice cracking and beyond terrified.

“You scared me, that’s all.” He insisted, repetitively and compulsively brushing her hair back. “Everything’s okay. You’re okay.” He repeated over and over.

A fair amount of time passed and soon enough the paramedics had cleared her. Jon cradled her in his arms, hailing a cab to take the two of them back to the Garden to meet up with the team after calling Joel to make sure they were still there.

“Hey champ.” Coach Quenneville grinned softly as Jon and Jordyn entered the room, the team quiet as they took in the scene.

“Can you hold her for a minute?” Jon asked, passing the sleeping girl off to Joel who held her in his lap as Jon disappeared down the hall to the locker room, locking the bathroom door behind him. Placing his hands on either sides of the sink in front of him, he took deep, heaving breaths.

He splashed handful after handful of ice cold water on his face and only after that would he meet his own gaze in the mirror.

He scolded himself for the terrible things he had considered in those few moments that he had feared the worst for Jordyn. Those were not things you were supposed to think of yourself in such desperate times.

But the truth was, he wasn’t sure if he wanted a life without her.