Fearing Death

Jon and Patrick both winced as another chorus of high-pitched squeals erupted from the family room. Patrick had only just returned to the man cave after venturing out to get another round of beers for the two, and he had his fill of the girls’ sleepover. Jordyn had a few girlfriends from school over, and within an hour, a fort was erected in the family room and they had downed three pizzas, two big bowls of popcorn and they were working on a few bowls of candy as well as all the pop they had bought for the occasion.

“God, my eardrums.” Patrick groaned, turning the TV volume up a little higher. “I mean I witnessed a few of these growing up, but damn, I’ve lost my tolerance.” He added, grabbing a slice of pizza they had snatched away from the gaggle of preteens before they could get their tiny manicured hands on it.

“This is all new to me.” Jon shook his head. He didn’t really know what to say when Jordyn asked if she could have a few friends over for the night, but he was incredibly relieved when he realized that she meant all girls. He watched, surprised, earlier that day when they strolled the aisles of Whole Foods hand in hand to collect the snacks and treats for that night. Apparently a group of eleven-year-old girls could eat as much as he and his line mates.

When they were finished at the grocery store, they ran quickly into Target to get things like paper plates and plastic forks and knives, Jon also got supplies to make French toast and sausage for the girls in the morning. Her next question somewhat threw him for a loop.

”Do you think Sara could bring me to Target later?” She asked quietly, hand still tucked into his with her white Blackhawks cap on her head, pony strung through the back femininely.

“Babe, we’re already here, what do you need?” He asked, softly swinging their hands together as he carried their basket full of goodies.

“Uh… well…” She fumbled over her words. “Just, you know, things.” She mumbled softly.

“Jord, what is it? We can grab it right now, save a trip.” He insisted.

“Jon!” She squeaked, “girl things!” She finished, making his cheeks flush a dark crimson and his lips seal shut for a few moments.

“I think you should definitely come back later with Sara, I’ll ask her about it later.” He stated confidently.

“Okay.” Jordyn chirped, swinging their hands much more enthusiastically as they finished up their trip.

“How much longer?” Patrick asked, flipping through a few screens on his iPhone.

“It’s ten o’clock, they’ve only been here for four hours, Pat.” Jon rolled his eyes. “Besides, you’re the one who gets to go home.” He pointed out with a sour expression. “Is there like… a curfew for them? Should I tell them it’s bedtime soon or something?” He asked, flipping through the TV channels casually.

“I don’t think so, I mean, if they’re being loud when you want to go to sleep, you could ask them to quiet down.” Patrick shrugged. Both men paused and their ears perked up when they heard a taunting chorus of Jordyn love Lucas! Jordyn loves Lucas! Jordyn and Lucas sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes-

“No babies in this house, hell no.” Jon shook his head, blocking out the chant. “Who is Lucas?” The name tasted bitter in his mouth.

“They’re eleven, it’s nothing to get worked up about.” Patrick shook his head, but it was eating away at Jon. Was Jordyn even at the age to like boys now? Wasn’t she a little young for that? First she wants to buy girl stuff with Sara and now apparently she loves someone named Lucas?

Jon’s head began to spin and he clenched his eyes shut, trying to rid his mind from the thoughts. Patrick had left around eleven-thirty, bidding the girls goodnight and by twelve, Jon was ready to crawl into bed as well.

“Hey Jord, how about you set up your mattresses and sleeping bags? I’ll bring out some milk and cookies and you can start your movie.” Jon suggested when he walked into the family room shortly after midnight to see a majority of the girls yawning. Jordyn nodded and began to move about the room, taking down the fort as the girls blew up their inflatable mattresses and rolling out their sleeping bags.

Jon changed into his sleep pants, taking off his shirt before heading into the kitchen, pouring out six glasses of milk and zapping a tray of Chips Ahoy in the microwave before walking them out and setting it all on the coffee table.

“Try to keep it down, goodnight girls.” Jon bid them all goodnight after kissing Jordyn on the forehead, handing her Doug so she could snuggle down into her spot on the couch. As he headed back to his bedroom, he winced again as a high pitched voice squeaked out Jordyn! Your dad is cute! Causing the girls to break out into another fit of giggles.

The next morning, Jon woke up before the girls around nine-thirty, making sure to pull on a t-shirt this time before heading into the kitchen to start cooking breakfast. Reaching into the freezer to grab a few ice cubes, his eyes zeroed in on the offending object, pulling out a tiny pink training bra that was now frozen solid before setting it far, far away on the opposite counter. Reaching for the juice, he paused, putting things together in his head. Was that the kind of girl stuff Jordyn wanted to get with Sara at Target? She was way to young for… stuff like that. And as he mixed together egg, cinnamon, milk, and a few other little ingredients for the French toast, he realized that Jordyn was trying to act much too old for her age. Why couldn’t she just stay his precious little girl?

Two loaves of bread, and three Costco sized packs of sausage later, the girls were fed, their bags were packed and they were out the door. Jordyn was quick to clean up whatever mess was left in the family room and soon just the two of them were back to relaxing on the couch as usual.

“How would you like to take a trip?” Jon asked softly, rubbing up and down Jordyn’s arm gently.

“Another hockey trip?” She sighed, looking up at him sleepily, clearly, she had a later night than he did.

“No, just a vacation, we can get away, just the two of us. I was thinking somewhere warm with a beach.” He suggested, catching her interest.

“Oh like when we went to Florida?” She asked excitedly, speaking of one of the few trips she had been on with him.

“I was thinking an island somewhere, way better than Florida.” He insisted, grinning at the way he could already see the gears turning in her head.

He just needed a little more time with Jordyn, before hockey got too hectic, before finals swallowed her, and before she could grow up. He justwanted needed a little more time.

•••

“Look how blue the water is!” Jordyn gasped as their private plane landed on the tiny island of St. Lucia, a quaint little island in the Caribbean where for a week, a portion of it was all theirs. “Oh, let’s go swimming!” She bounced excitedly off the plane, reaching for Jon’s hand as they each towed a suitcase behind themselves.

“We can do whatever you want.” Jon insisted, breathing in the fresh, ocean air. He couldn’t remember the last time he had treated himself to a real vacation, and he couldn’t have been happier to be there, and to be able to share this with Jordyn. Soon the two were doing just as she pleased and Jon let go of her hand so she could run across the white sand beach and dive into the crystal blue water.

“A starfish!” She squealed, pointing excitedly down into the water. “Dad! Look!” She insisted, pointing her tiny finger into the water, the nail painted a hot pink courtesy of her sleepover two weeks earlier. The paint was chipping, but it was the principle of the pink nails that ate away at Jon. First nail polish, then makeup. “Take a picture!” She insisted as Jon pulled out the waterproof camera he invested in, snapping a few photos of the starfish and then a few of Jordyn as she smiled sweetly.

Tucking the camera down into the pocket of his board shorts, he waded into the beautiful, warm water and could feel his muscles relaxing. They would only be here for three days, seeing as his schedule allowed it, and it didn’t take much to ask coach Quenneville for the time off, seeing as he hadn’t missed a single practice or optional skate in the past four years.

But this summer, he’d want to bring her back, so they could really disappear for as long as they wanted. Jon and Jordyn spent that whole first day in the water, swimming, splashing, looking at the marine life in the tide pools and laying out on the hot sand. That whole night they spent in their luxurious room, ordering ridiculous amounts of room service and watching Pay-Per-View movies.

Jon never slept as soundly as he did when he could hold Jordyn in his arms and know she was safe, that there was in fact nowhere safer for her to be.

“Oh my God!” Jordyn bounced excitedly in her flowy-knee length skirt, flip flops, and tank as the tour guide led them around the base of St. Lucia’s very own volcano. A series of staircases and a stop for water later, they were both standing at the peak, along with their guide as they looked down into the mouth of the inactive mountain.

“This is cool.” Jon grinned boyishly, hand cluthing Jordyn’s tightly as she leaned over the guard rail, grabbing the camera and snapping away.

“Excuse me, will you take our picture?” Jordyn asked the guide who smiled and took the camera. Jon hoisted Jordyn up into his arms and they both smiled widely, small half moons of pink skin at the very tops of their cheeks from being out in the sun nonstop.

Jon watched as Jordyn talked animatedly with the guide, firing off all sorts of questions and bouncing around after him as he walked along the lip of the volcano pointing out a few things, teaching her a few facts. He loved how curious she was about things, never afraid to ask questions and always eager for more information. He was so proud that she was doing so excellently at school, and managing to balance a fairly healthy social life all while dealing with his career and under the public’s keen eye.

That night they attended a little fair in the streets with a few rides, carnival games, and tons of deep-fried food.

“I can’t.” Jon frowned as Jordyn held up the tiniest bit of funnel cake smothered with fresh strawberries and powdered sugar. “But I really want to.” He groaned, staring down the small bit.

“What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not even a whole bite.” Jordyn insisted, waving it in front of his face tauntingly before shoving it in her mouth. “Mmm, so good.” She teased, followed by a giggle as he pouted out his thin lips, accentuating the scar above his lip.

“Fine, give me a bite.” He insisted, opening his mouth as she held up a forkful. “God that’s good.” He groaned.

“Come on, now we get the cheese curds.” Jordyn grinned, taking his hand and leading him over to the stand. They ate until the two of them were full enough that they needed to slowly walk back up to their rooms before falling into a deep, comforting sleep.

The last day was spent similarly to the first, swimming on the beaches, playing on a rented jet-ski, and walking through the small shops and markets to grab souvenirs for Patrick and Sara. They also got a gift for Abby Sharp who had been watching Jordyn part-time now that Sara was taking on more classes.

Jordyn slept soundly on the private plane from the islands to Florida, where they would hop another flight to Chicago. With her head resting against his chest, Jon slowly combed his fingers through Jordyn’s hair, head lolling back into his shoulders as he fought off more sleep. The cool air conditioning of the small plane was soothing on his burned skin and her silky blonde hair felt soft on his fingertips.

He didn’t want to go back to reality, he wanted to stay away from the world with his girl where they could stay just they were forever.

And he would be wishing that more and more in the coming weeks.