Fearing Death

“Morning, Daddy, muffins in the cafeteria today.” Jordyn whispered as she bounced into her usual hospital-provided recliner that pulled right up to Jon’s bedside, kissing his warm cheek gently. He had bandages around his head, an IV in his hand, and several tubes running in, out, and around him. Jon was in a coma, ranked a thirteen on the Glasgow scale, and was expected to pull out of it in the next few days.

It had been three days since the accident and Jordyn sat faithfully by his side every day, all day long. She refused to go to school and was taking her homework that her teachers had sent her to the hospital. Homework was much easier when she could ask Jon for help.

“These muffins are better than the bagels from yesterday.” She noted, looking over at Abby who focused on her embroidery, something for the nursery no doubt. Abby was getting bigger by the day and looked like she was ready to pop, but she took the morning shift with Jordyn, then Sara would come around one, take her to lunch, then return her to the hospital for the afternoon.

“Jord, I said we could get something from McDonalds.” Abby reminded from her comfortable chair that allowed her to raise her feet, something she rather liked.

“It’s fine, I really like these.” Jordyn insisted, holding up her two blueberry muffins beside her small carton of milk.

“Well let me know if you get hungry and we can go get some hot cakes and hash browns.” Abby said quietly, working on the cover to the pillow she was making. Jordyn took out her book, removing her bookmark from Roald Dahl’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, a book from the school’s library she was reading for brownie points.

A nurse had advised her that talking to people who were in a coma was good for them. Jordyn didn’t really know what to say, so she figured reading to Jon was the next best thing.

“Of course they're real people. They're Oompa-Loompas... Imported direct from Loompaland... And oh what a terrible country it is! Nothing but thick jungles infested by the most dangerous beasts in the world - hornswogglers and snozzwangers and those terrible wicked whangdoodles. A whangdoodle would eat ten Oompa-Loompas for breakfast and come galloping back for a second helping." Jordyn read, suffering slightly with the odd names. “That’s silly, isn’t it? You would say that was silly.” She whispered gently. Abby looked up at Jordyn to see that she had abandoned her book, her small fingers slightly tracing the soft lines above his brows.

It broke Abby’s heart, and she gently placed her hand on her swollen stomach, a small cord of fear ringing through her that she and Patrick’s child would ever have to witness something like this.

“I don’t really like this book, anyway.” Jordyn whispered, placing her bookmark back into the page and setting it on the tray beside her. “All of these kids sounds like brats.” She added, making Abby grin.

“Jordyn, why don’t you tell Jon what I told you yesterday?” Abby suggested, knowing that the silence between them was killing the little girl. Jordyn scooted up closer to him, tucking her small hand under his, willing his fingers to curl around hers.

“Abby and Patrick are having a boy!” She smiled excitedly, “I mean, I know Patrick was hoping for a girl like me, but they seem pretty happy.” She whispered. “I’m gonna help them paint the nursery, we already have a lot of the stuff picked out, but it will be fun.” She shrugged. It got quiet again and Jordyn leaned forward to rest her head on the edge of Jon’s bed.

“I’m going to use the restroom, kay?” Abby said, hoisting herself out of the chair and waddling down to the public bathroom. Jordyn set her head against the propped up part of the mattress just beside Jon’s shoulder.

“Don’t leave me.” She whispered gently. “We haven’t had enough time together.” She added, eyes welling again. “Don’t leave me alone.” She hiccupped quietly. “I miss you.”

It wasn’t long until she had fallen asleep to the steady sound of Jon’s heartbeat on the monitor. Abby came back, laying a blanket over the girl before sitting back in her chair and picking up her embroidery to finish her pillow.

Jordyn was still asleep by the time Sara rolled around; her honorary Aunt woke her gently.

“Hey sweetheart, let’s go get something to eat.” She said, stringing her fingers softly through Jordyn’s long hair. “We need a break from the room.” She insisted. Jordyn nodded tiredly and was quick to gather her things into her backpack, stowing them away in the room’s coat cupboard before they could head down the street to grab something to eat.

Patrick met them for lunch at a Diner that wasn’t too far from the hospital, Jordyn leaped into his arms, she hadn’t seen him for a whole day and she missed him dearly. Jordyn had been sleeping at Patrick and Abby’s home for the past two nights, just because Sara’s class schedule had picked up near finals week and Patrick and Abby were happy to watch her.

Abby and Patrick also sat with her when the doctors explained the severity of Jon’s condition, trying to introduce her to the idea of the Glasgow scale and how they would be inducing a series of painful stimuli to try and gain a reaction from Jon.

They had no reason to believe that he would be much longer and should be opening his eyes and talking as soon as tomorrow afternoon.

Lunch was quick and quiet, with not much to say, Jordyn was eager to get back to the hospital by two-thirty so that she could flip on iCarly, something that she and Jon liked to watch together.

Taking her seat back in the recliner, she flipped on the television and tangled her fingers with Jon’s again, leaning back and resting her head against the section of mattress beside his pillow. Sara curled up on the sofa by the viewing window with her textbooks and a nurse came in to take Jon’s vitals.

“Any day now.” Nurse Linda smiled at Jordyn. The whole nursing staff had taken to the little girl, especially when they had heard of her story, essentially of how Jon had all but rescued her from a terrible life. It was very apparent that the little Toews’ family loved each other dearly.

Bryan and Andree were stuck in Winnipeg, a terrible snow storm had all but trapped them in Canada, but God-willing, Andree was close to renting her own plane and flying herself to Chicago. They were expected to be arriving in Chicago within the next twenty-four hours. Davey was in Europe for a tournament and would be hopping the next available flight back to the States.

Just as Jordyn could feel herself drifting to sleep again after feeling the effects of a full tummy, she felt a pressure around her hand. Looking down she saw Jon’s fingers curling around hers weakly, she looked back up to his face to see his eyes open and thin lips turned up into a watery smile.

“Haven’t we seen this one?” He croaked gently.

•••

Jon was finally moved home just short of three weeks later. Jordyn was forced to return back to school, but as soon as she was home today, she would be home for Spring Break, off of school for a whole eleven days, and Jon would be home as well.

“I’m home!” Jordyn called, dropping her backpack hard onto the floor before bounding down to the hall where Jon was propped up in his bed, resting. Jon was a very lucky man; he suffered no retrograde amnesia, and no drastic symptoms. Also, his head injury had healed rather well and his only real stutter to his recovery was that he got dizzy rather easily, and would be for the next few days.

“Grandpa.” Jordyn smiled at Bryan who sat on the edge of Jon’s bed. Jordyn climbed into bed with him, curling up against his side on the pillows that propped him up. Bryan and Andree had been staying with Jon for the past week at the hospital and would be staying with the two younger Toews for the next few days.

“How was school?” Jon asked, petting her silky strands gently as she set her head on his chest softly.

“It was fine.” Jordyn shrugged.

“Learn anything new?” He asked, eyes closing softly.

“I learned what the least useful organ is on the human body.” Jordyn replied with an excited chirp.

“What’s that?” Bryan laughed.

“Men’s nipples!” She answered perkily, making both men chuckle. “They have no purpose!” She added. “We’re going on field trip after break and I have no homework.” She squealed excitedly.

“How about… this time, next year, we go on a real spring break? California or Mexico, or Florida…” He smiled, rubbing his hand up and down her back gently.

“We don’t have to do any of that.” Jordyn insisted. “As long as you’re better in time for us to go to my Penguins game, that’s all the vacation I need.” She finished. Jon would be clear for more rigorous activity (like attending a hockey game) by the end of Jordyn’s spring break, just a week away from the tickets they had to see the Penguins play the Rangers, an exciting game they would be flying to New York to see. Being in New York helped a lot with the fact that at the time, Jon wouldn’t be able to drive yet, and taxicabs were going to be their best friends. “Let’s just hope this trip to New York is better than the last.” She giggled, reminding him of the hotel fire.

“Yeah tell me about it.” He laughed softly as Andree walked into the room, fresh from a nap in the guest room.

“Bon jour mon petite étoile.” Andree greeted sweetly.

“Salut grand-mère.” Jordyn replied happily, making Jon grin with pride. He had been working with her on her French for a while, and he knew it would please his Mom to hear Jordyn speaking French as well.

“How was school, Jordyn? Bonne?” Andree asked.

“It was fine. We learned about men’s nipples.” Jordyn replied casually, making Jon laugh even harder as Andree’s cheeks turned bright pink.

“Well that’s… tout absolument merveilleux. Let’s go make you a snack, huh? Un petite collation.” Jordyn nodded, sliding out of bed and walking back with Andree to the kitchen where she already had all sorts of homemade treats made.

“Jordyn’s doing so well.” Bryan commented. “She just takes everything in stride, very levelheaded.” He finished.

“Jordyn is incredibly mature for her age, I’ve only gotten to see her as a real child since she came home with me. She had to grow up very fast, and she still knows how to use those skills she learned in her every day life. Her ability to stay calm in any situation amazes me.” Jon replied, reaching for his water bottle on the nightstand. “She’s also fiercely protective. I can tell she’s always checking on me.” He added.

“I wonder where she picked that up.” Bryan grinned, his well-groomed moustache travelling with his lips. “God knows you spend every second of every day monitoring that one.” He laughed. “It’s instinct, Jon, you look out for the ones you love.” Jon nodded in understanding and their conversation was cut short as Jordyn bounded back into the room, double fisting Andree’s homemade butter tarts.

“Oh, give me a bite.” Jon said, opening his mouth at the sight as Jordyn crawled back into beds.

“Crumbs.” Andree began to fret.

“C'est très bien, maman, juste une petite collation, vous vous souvenez?” Jon grinned.

“Get your own!” Jordyn giggled, watching as his excited expression fell.

“Come on! Just a little nibble.” He whined, making both of his parents laugh as they remembered that same whine from when he was but an eleven year old boy himself. Jordyn succumbed and lifted one of her treats to Jon’s lips as he took a big bite out of the flaky treat.

“Dad!” She squealed, appalled as he chowed down half of the miniature pie, making her grandparents laugh. Jon knowing she was showing some extreme restraint from jumping on him and tackling him down.

“Thanks.” He grinned through a mouthful of food. Jordyn huffed and narrowed her eyes but grinned nonetheless.

“We have to start planning something fun for your birthday.” Andree reminded. “It’s coming up.”

“Je ne veux pas faire une grosse affaire de ce.” Jon insisted. “Just something small, really. A few friends, family, not a big affair.” He finished. “Maybe I will invite some friends up to the farm, spend a weekend out on the lake.” He shrugged.

“That sounds good to me.” Jordyn chirped as fussed over the two, spreading a thin blanket over their legs. Jon liked to keep the apartment impossibly cold so that he could sleep with all of his blankets at night and it worried Andree.

“Besides, what do I need? Twenty-four is not exactly a milestone. I want some good food, a weekend on the boats, and carrot cake. It’s not like I’ll be needing to watch my diet now.” He laughed weakly. Jon was disappointed that he couldn’t be playing for the rest of the season. Only if the Blackhawks were to make the Stanley Cup Finals would enough time have passed for him to be allowed on the ice, and even then, there was no way Quenneville would be putting him in after so many weeks cold turkey.

“It’ll be okay.” Jordyn mumbled, tucking herself under his arm. “It’s not like you’ll never get to play again.” She added. “Besides, maybe now you can help me get ready for summer softball.” She wiggled excitedly.

“That’s true, I can’t remember the last time I got to throw a ball around.” He said. Jordyn had asked Jon a few weeks ago if she could play the softball league offered by the city that hundreds of girls participated in. Jon was so thrilled she was interested; he even offered to apply for a coaching position. It was a small gig he could afford to take on, two hours a day, three days a week for two months, including a few weekends.

Between the Penguins game, Jon’s birthday, the pending joy of the upcoming summer, and Jordyn’s one-year anniversary, the Toews had a lot to look forward to.

Besides, from here, it seemed that things could only get better.