Fearing Death

“Good morning baby girl.” Jon smiled down at Jordyn gently. He had pushed a recliner up into her room now that she was home from the hospital and was too weary about leaving her side to actually do so. Jordyn’s corrective surgery went swimmingly, but her low weight and occasional fevers kept her in the hospital for ten days after her surgery.

“Dad, go sleep in your bed.” Jordyn insisted, hugging Doug to her tummy as he brushed her hair back from her face.

“I got plenty of sleep.” He assured with a soft smile. “Hungry at all? Patrick brought by some juice and soup from Sara.” He added.

“I want blueberry pancakes.” She blushed as Jon handed her a big glass of grape juice with a lime-green crazy straw.

“I’ll go make some, in the mean time, I need you to drink this whole glass.” He insisted with a stern look to which she nodded obediently.

“I can do that.” She whispered as he also handed her a small pile of medications, a painkiller, something for nausea, and something for her dizziness. Because of her small stature, Jordyn needed to take very specific amounts of her medications, and more often than not, Jon had to cut up her pills for her.

The even more frustrating part was the fact that Jorydn had such a hard time keeping down food while she was in the hospital, all they could do was keep her nourished through IV’s, but she was progressively losing weight.

It wasn’t even twenty minutes later when Jon came back into the room, a fresh batch of hot blueberry pancakes on a plate and cut up for her. Jon had also cut up a few berries and brought in a Pedialyte, a tip from a nurse to make sure she was being nourished with all of the vitamins and minerals she needed.

“Yum.” She smiled as he helped her sit up in bed, placing the plate on a tray over her lap, setting up her tray with her plate, drink, and silverware before he returned with his own plate. However, Jon’s plate also included what looked like a whole pound of bacon with his pancakes. “Bacon?!” She asked, looking up at him as he tried to smile at her through a mouth full of the pork. She reached over, snatching a couple slices from his plate and putting them on her own before popping a piece in her mouth. “What’s the plan for today? Can we go in the pool?” She asked, drinking her Pedialyte through her crazy straw.

“I don’t think swimming is on the agenda quite yet, but Patrick and Abby are bringing baby Danny over, and Hjalmy said he’d challenge you to a game of Mario Kart.” He grinned, making Jordyn blush. It was no secret that she had a serious crush on the lovable Swede.

“Oh, okay.” She smiled. “When can I get in the tub?” She asked.

“After breakfast, I’ll run one up for you.” Jon said, stuffing his mouth with pancakes.

The two sat and enjoyed their breakfast, also watching a few old episodes of Tom & Jerry since Jon had bought a small TV for Jordyn to put in her room for the time being. After Jordyn was bathed and her incision was carefully washed, she dressed in a loose cotton sundress and continually hugged Doug to her small body as she settled herself in the family room.

“Can I just go outside, just for a little bit?” Jordyn asked, looking up at Jon pitifully.

“Sure babe.” He nodded, watching her very carefully as he held her arm, walking her out to the patio, helping her lower into a patio chair. Jordyn smiled into the warm sunshine, wishing she were back at the pier on such a nice day.

“Where’s Maxie?” She asked, crossing her legs as they stretched out in front of her.

“He’s on his bed napping. I took him out for a jog this morning and it wiped him out.” Jon laughed, remembering the way the small pup tried to keep up with him as he took him for a spin around the block. “I had to carry him back to the house, pretty pathetic if you ask me.” He joked.

“He’s just a baby.” Jordyn insisted, swinging her legs from the patio chair.

“You’re just a baby.’ Jon teased, nudging her shoulder gently.

“I am going to be twelve soon, and twelve is almost thirteen and thirteen is basically sixteen.” Jordyn reasoned, making Jon let out a big belly laugh as she gave him the stink eye.

“You’re right, you’re practically sixteen.” He humored her with a soft grin.

“And then I can drive, and have a cell phone and get my own fishing license!” She giggled at his less than amused expression.

“Don’t talk about it, stay this young forever.” He advised as they watched several birds fly from the big tree in their backyard.

“How much longer till I can go swimming?” She asked, swinging her legs back and forth in the chair.

“Maybe next week?” He said, taking a long drink of his iced tea, his new fixation. “We’ll call and ask Dr. Sunnefrank.” He added, speaking of one of her physicians. “In the mean time, I need you to eat, eat, eat.” He insisted.

“Ugh, I’m always eating.” Jordyn whined, Jon watching her intently as she stood from her chair and walked over, sitting in his lap, and leaning against his shoulder as he laid her legs across his lap.

“What would you think if we did an interview?” He asked as, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

“Like one of your hockey interviews?” She tilted her head up, sticking her face into the underside of his jaw with a soft exhale.

“Yes, but this wouldn’t be about hockey, this would be about you and I.” He said with a small laugh as her breath tickled his neck.

“About us?” She asked, playing with the frayed threads of the neck on his cotton t-shirt.

“We don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, I don’t really want to, but some people who are pretty important to me think that it’s something we should do. They think that if we do this, people will leave us alone. Less photographers, less questions…” He trailed with a sigh.

“Okay.” She shrugged.

“Okay?” He asked, kissing her temple softly as the sun disappeared behind a cloud.

“Yeah.” She smiled, hugging Doug gently and curling up int Jon’s lap.

“Well alright then.”

•••

“You’re cheating! You’re cheating!” Jordyn squealed with a laugh as she tried to block Niklas’ view of the television as Patrick Sharp tried to distract her. Niklas laughed as she plopped down into his lap.

“Jordyn.” Jon barked. “Be careful.” He narrowed his eyes, thinking that she was just being a little too rough and tumble, which she was.

“Don’t worry Daddy, I’ve got her.” Patrick said with a charming smiled as their game finished up. Jon gave him a rather pointed look before walking back into the kitchen to grab something to drink.

“I just want everyone to know, that Niky cheated and I won fair and square.” Jordyn announced as she flounced back to the couch where Abby was entertaining baby Danny. “Hi baby.” She smiled down at the boy with the deep brown eyes and even darker brunette hair.

“Hi Auntie Jordyn.” Abby waved Danny’s tiny had up at the blonde. Jon watched from the doorway as Jordyn leaned down and kissed Danny’s baby forehead with a small grin. “Dad?” She asked, looking over to him. “Can we have pizza?” She asked with a hopeful smile.

“From where?” He asked, reaching for the phone in his pocket.

“Eggplant.” She replied, making him laugh. She didn’t know the name of the place, but she knew it by the pizza they made.

“Alright, eggplant it is.” He nodded before taking everyone else’s orders.

“Did you decide yet what you want to do for your birthday?” Patrick asked, taking a seat on the couch next to Jordyn as Niklas turned off the Nintendo.

“I don’t know, I can’t really do a lot right now. No flying or swimming.” Jordyn frowned as she curled up into his side, her thin body getting cold and seeking warmth. “Maybe Grandma and Grandpa can come down? And Uncle Davey.” She added. “And maybe we can go to the zoo to see the new bears.” She shrugged.

“I want to go to the zoo.” Hjlamy spoke up from his new perch in the recliner.

“You can come too!” Jordyn blushed after she had replied so eagerly.

“Jo, come on, we have to wash your incision.” Jon said, sticking his head out of the kitchen and nodding over his shoulder in the direction of the staircase. “We can hold off on the meds till after you eat, you know they make you sick if you don’t have something in your tummy first.” He said knowingly as he watched her slowly upstairs step by step, Doug still crushed into her stomach. “Oh, and if you’re good, something came for you in the mail.” He grinned as they reached the second-floor landing.

“I got something in the mail?!” She squeaked, wondering just who would send her something. She had received so many bouquets of flowers and cards she could open up her own Hallmark store. Jordyn loved the flowers and intended to write out a thank-you card to each and every person, but that would easily surmount sixty people. Not only that, but wives, girlfriends, women from the association, and players alike showed up with casseroles, covered dishes, and desserts so Jon and Jordyn could focus on healing rather than the day-to-day chores.

Andree had also given the new home a deep scrub before she had left, leaving very specific instructions for the women at the cleaning service who visited the home once a week.

“Yes you did, ‘came this morning. I almost forgot about it.” Jon nodded as he took out a new bandage and soft tape.

“Who is it from?!” She asked, having a hard time sitting still on the pink quartz countertop of her bathroom as she swung her legs, biting her lip as Jon carefully dabbed and cleaned the incision that was healing wonderfully.

“A certain friend of ours from Pittsburgh.” Jon added, placing a hand on her knee as she began to swing her legs much more excitedly.

“From Sidney and April?!” She squealed, eyes wide as he helped her down from the counter, her pills in the small container as he carried them downstairs, Doug tucked safely back in her arms.

“Yes, but you need to eat and take your pills, and drink a Pedialyte before you can open it.” He insisted with a firm tone.

“Dad.” She whined, tugging on his hand.

“Good things come to those who wait.” Jon recited the same thing his father would tell him when he was little, just as the doorbell rang. “Pizza’s here, two eggplant parmesan slices just for you!” He said, making sure she was settled on the couch before going to retrieve their dinner.

Jon grinned as Jordyn ate her big slices of pizza, watching her intently to make sure she didn’t eat too fast.

“I’m done!” She chirped, pushing her plate away from her.

“Pills.” Jon instructed, holding out the container.

“Can’t I wait till everyone leaves? They make me sleepy.” She said with a frown. “I don’t want to fall asleep before everyone goes.” She added. Jon sighed, checking his watch to see that it was already ten to seven.

“We have to head out in a bit anyways, Danny has to get home for bedtime.” Abby assured. “We’ll be gone before you fall asleep.” She added, giving Jon a wink. Jordyn took the pills from him, taking them very slowly before bounding up from her seat to the front hall where a big brown box sat with Jordyn’s name written on it.

“Sidney and April Crosby.” She whispered to herself, running her fingers over the return label before calling for Jon to open the box through the thick packaging tape. Jon dragged the box into the family room just as Niklas was heading out, giving Jordyn a sweet peck on her cheek and bidding her his best wishes.

“What’s in it?!” She asked, having a hard time standing still as Jon ran an X-acto knife along the plastic seams.

“Have at it.” He insisted as all the flaps were separated. Jordyn sifted through the packing peanuts that Max quickly busied himself with, rubbing his face in them excitedly, making Jordyn giggle before she finally felt something solid in the box. She pulled out a big Penguins jersey, Jon helping her lift it since she was on a weight restriction and she looked around at all the signatures that covered the powder-blue sweater.

“Another jersey!” She said excitedly, hands tracing the penguin on the chest softly.

“And it’s signed by the whole team… even Lemieux…” Jon trailed, wishing he wasn’t so jealous.

“What else is in here?” She asked, sticking her hands back down into the big box and pulling out a tiny stuffed Penguin, the same as Pittsburgh’s logo with a tiny blue ribbon wrapped around it. “Oh, so soft.” She smiled, stroking the chenille fabric.

“Looks like there’s one more thing.” Jon said, pulling out a thick manila envelope.

“Open it.” Jordyn insisted. Jon broke the seal, carefully pulling out ten sheets of thick, glossed paper. “There’s a sticky.” She insisted, peeling the post-it off of the other side of the envelope. “So you can see your Penguins any time you like… get better soon, love April and Sidney.” She read.

“Damn, season tickets, I don’t think anyone can buy these yet.” Jon said, rather impressed. Sidney must have pulled a string or two to get these already printed, seeing as their season had only ended a mere two weeks ago.

“Wow, Crosby sure does know how to spoil a girl.” Patrick laughed as Abby packed up Danny’s diaper bag. Soon the little Sharp family was out the door and Jordyn was yawning her head off as Jon tucked Doug and her new penguin into bed with her.

“Si’ney and April sent me nice stuff.” She slurred tiredly, her painkillers knocking her on her ass.

“They really care about you.” Jon nodded, tucking her blankets around her gently. She liked her room to be cool at night so she could sleep with all of her blankets. Jon even tucked a heating pad down by her toes seeing as the house got rather chilly at night.

“I can’t believe all of the things everyone sent me.” Her eyes were fighting to stay open.

“You have a lot of people that care very much for you, Jordyn. You are so loved.” Jon whispered, giving her a warm smile as he turned on the rotating nightlight on her dresser.

“I’m very lucky.” She mumbled quietly as Jon leaned down to press a warm kiss to her temple.

“You deserve every bit of it, baby.”