Infatuated

I stared up at the velvet sky, admiring the stars that dotted the horizon. The sun had only set about half an hour ago, so the sky was still tinged with a dirty pink glow, dimming the stars brilliant shine. It had been three weeks since Gerard and the guys had come and got me from Rache’s place, but I still couldn’t sleep. Nightmares worse than before plagued my slumber, causing dark circles to appear under my eyes.

Much to my extreme chagrin, the boys forced me to move back in with them; selling my apartment and telling my landlord that I had died in a car wreck. They said it was for my own good; so that they could keep an eye on me, make sure I didn’t get into anymore trouble.

I guess I didn’t have much choice to move back in with them after that; I had little to no money left in my bank account and no place to go. I soon fell into a steady rhythm; getting up early, eating some stale poptarts, and then spending the rest of my time floating in the pool where I was now, looking up at the sky and just thinking. Occasionally Lindsey called, and we talked a little on the phone. Bob drove down to her place every weekend because she couldn’t come to him. Her busy work schedule prohibited it. Neither of them would admit to me that they had a thing going, but Bob would come back on Monday morning with a large goofy smile painted on his lips and his shirts reeking of Lindsey’s peach and rose-blossom shampoo and body wash.

Things were at a standstill with Gerard. I went to great lengths to avoid him, I mean, what was I supposed to say?

‘Oh hey Gerard, thanks for saving my ass for the second time in a row. And by the way? I can’t stop thinking about the fact that you ran away when you kissed me.’

Yeah, for some reason I don’t think that’s going to work.
So here I was; floating face up in the lukewarm pool, my hair haloing out around my head. It was nice; quiet and peaceful. Only Mikey knew that this is where I escaped to during the nights and he knew that it would not be a good idea to disturb me.

I was starting to get tired, my thick woolly sweater starting to drag me down under the water. I floated over to the edge of the pool and clasped the edge, using the other hand to take of the heavy sweater. I never wore a swimsuit in the pool now; for some odd reason it felt... I dunno, wrong. All though I’ll admit wearing a sweater this thick was probably a stupid idea.

I discarded my sweater on the deck, leaving me in my bra. I resumed floating, dunking my head under water every couple of minutes, savouring the coolness of the water as it flowed over my face.

Suddenly I heard a twig snap, and someone cuss softly. I shot over to the side of the pool and quickly pulled my sweater back on, then quickly making my way back to the shallow end of the pool, my eyes scanning the darkness, searching for any sign of life.

“Who’s there?” I asked, my head turning from side to side spastically, still unable to see anybody. Suddenly a shape emerged out of the darkness, the person hovering hesitantly at the edge of the woods.

“It’s just me Tess.” Gerard stepped into the glow of the pool lights, his hand scratching the back of his neck nervously.

“Oh.” I exhaled and relaxed my defensive position. “Um, I’m done in the pool, it’s all yours.” I swam over to the ladder in the deep end of the pool, hoisting myself up. I quickly walked over to my towel and wrapped it around my body tightly, slipping on my faded boots and starting back towards the house.

“Wait.” Gerard reached out and grabbed my arm. I spun around and faced him, shifting from foot to foot awkwardly. “You’ve been avoiding me.”

“No I haven’t.” I shot back quickly, probably too quickly....

“Yes you have.” Gerard said, his voice firm and sure. “Don’t try and deny it.”

“You can’t deny something that’s not true!” I exclaimed.

“What?” Gerard chuckled, “That makes absolutely no sense.”

“Your face doesn’t make any sense.” I said childishly. I just wanted to get away from him, the tension in the air was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

“Tess.” Gerard sighed, and dragged his hand over his face. “Talk to me, please.”

“I’m tired.” I said shortly, not liking the serious edge this conversation had taken on. “I’m going to go get dry and lie down.” I quickly turned towards the house, its lights shining brightly through the dense forest.

“I understand that you’re hurt.” Gerard said quietly. I stopped in my tracks and whirled around to face him, my finger pointing level at his chest.

“Stay out of my head.” I hissed angrily and stalked back into the woods, the cool night air causing the pool water to dry sticky on my skin. After the mental block had been stuck on my mind I had been too scared to put it back up.

“For god’s sake Tess wait!” I heard Gerard jog up behind me.

“Fuck off Gerard.” I flipped him off and continued towards the house.

“Oh, so you hate me again?” Gerard asked, sarcastic. “I save your sorry ass and you tell me to fuck off.” He heaved an angry sigh.

“Yeah.” I shouted back, spinning around and glowering at him. “That sounds about right!”

“Hey.” Gerard growled, grabbing my wrist tightly, “What the hell’s you problem?”

I ignored his question and just glowered at him, my body shaking with pent up anger. Suddenly a light blush- something that I was not aware a vampire could acquire- tinted Gerard’s pale cheeks.

“Oh.” He exhaled heavily, like all the air had been knocked out of his lungs. “I- I’m sorry I left Tess.” He said quietly, looking down at the twigs and dead leaves dotting the ground.

“Stay OUT of my head.” I scowled.

“Hear me out for a second.” Gerard pleaded, and then continued when I didn’t reply. “I didn’t mean to- to hurt your feelings-” I could tell he was treading carefully, scared to say the wrong thing.

“My feelings aren’t hurt.” I lifted my head high and stared at him hard, trying to get my point across.

“Tess.” Gerard said softly, “I can practically feel the hurt coursing through your veins.” He cast his eyes downwards, unable to hold my gaze. “It’s imprinted in most of your thoughts. And I just want to let you know that- that I didn’t run because of you.”

“Really Gerard?” I barked out a sarcastic laugh. “Cause it sure as hell looked like it was because of me. You kissed me, and then ran away. I get it, no worries. I’m just that disgusting.” I ripped my arm free of his grasp and stomped towards the warm lights of the house. Suddenly I was yanked back- quite violently might I add- and my back slammed into Gerard’s.

“Let me g-” I was interrupted. Gerard’s cold lips crashed down on mine, his hands clasping around my wrists holding me in place. I froze, my joints locking in surprise. His lips were insistent, almost pleading with me to respond.

I don’t know when I started to kiss back, but suddenly a need that I had been smothering in my stomach exploded outwards, and I forgot about my anger towards Gerard. I felt him grin as soon as he realized that I wasn’t pushing him away anymore.

“Stop laughing at me.” I mumbled between his lips. He grinned, placing is hands on my hips and pulled me closer.

“Who’s laughing?” He murmured, and I wound my hands into his hair. Suddenly he backed me against a tree and placed his hands under my thighs, pulling me upwards, my legs wrapping around his waist tightly. His hands rubbed slow, deliberate circles on the insides of my legs, causing my head to slip back and a breathy sigh to escape my parted lips.

Gerard attached his lips to my neck, kissing tenderly down until his lips were hovering just above my collar bone. I tightened by hands in his hair, pulling his head back to my skin. He chuckled slightly and my eagerness but complied more than willingly, his teeth nicking the hollow of my throat.

He slowly kissed back up to my lips, his tongue running over my bottom lip hungrily. I parted my lips in a breathy sigh and he quickly slid his tongue into my mouth, his hands tightening around my thighs. I bit down on Gerard’s bottom lips, sliding my hands down from his hair, along his stomach and then down to his belt buckle. I tugged at it gently, the smooth leather cold in my hands.

Gerard broke away suddenly, his eyes sparkling.

“You’re not going to run away again, are you?” I whispered, leaning into his chest. I could practically hear a smile as it pushed its way onto his lips. He hoisted me up again, so now my head was resting on his shoulder, my arms draped around his neck. I inhaled deeply, a rare smile creeping its way onto my face.

“No.” Gerard ran one hand through my damp hair, kissing my temple lovingly, “I wouldn’t dream of it.”