Turn It Into Magic

"All right assholes, come here," Abi growled, motioning for Pogo and Trent to come closer to her. Abi had a pedestal set in the middle of the place where they had drawn the line to separate who's side was who's.

Pogo stood on his side and Trent stood on the other, both glaring at each other. Abi sighed in annoyance, and, when that didn't seem to phase them at all, sighed even louder.

"I'm not compromising," Pogo said stubbornly, never taking his eyes of Trent.

"Pogo. Stop being a bitch and get over here. You too, Trent," Abi said.

Trent smirked and looked at Pogo smugly, "She didn't call me a bitch."

"Trent, you're a bitch," Abi said before Pogo could get a word in edgewise. "Now both of you, get over here. I have a surprise, but you can't know what it is until you agree to sign this goddamn treaty."

Trent took the first step, eager to find out what the surprise was, then stopped. He didn't want to sign the treaty if Pogo wasn't going to. He looked up to see what Pogo was doing.

"I'm gonna beat you!" Pogo shouted, diving forward toward Abi's pedestal. Trent was taken by surprise and could, in no way, catch up to Pogo. The keyboardist grabbed the pen that Abi was holding out and signed the treaty without reading the rules. Trent followed and signed the treaty, watched the entire time by Pogo, who was standing behind him with a smirk stretched across his face and his arms crossed.

"Now what's the surprise?" Pogo asked impatiently before Trent had even handed Abi the pen.

"First, you should just know that, on this treaty, it is stated that you are not allowed to fight throughout the duration of this surprise. Also, Elizabeth has acted as my third party and had videotaped the entire even so that you are in no way able to breach the contract," Abi pointed out, gesturing to Elizabeth, who was grinning and waving to them with a camera in her hand.

"Okay, I get it. Now what's the surprise?" Trent asked, now just as impatient as Pogo.

Abi looked at both men before her. "First we're going to need to gather everyone in one place."

__________

Twenty minutes later, everyone was gathered in the same conference room in which the Dope Hat drawings took place. Everyone in the room donned a confused expression.

"So you're probably all wondering why you're here," Abi started. "Well, that's because The Great War of The Maniggy Hospital is over, and we're proud to announce that we've got a surprise that's sure to take this off our minds for a few days. And give the maids time to clean up the messes you made."

"Well, what the fuck is the surprise then?" Pogo demanded impatiently.

"We're going on vacation!" Abi announced excitedly. Only two people in the room - John and Twiggy - seemed interested.

"That's it?" Pogo asked as he frowned in disappointment. "When you meant surprise, I thought you meant drugs and hookers."

"That wouldn't please those of us who don't do drugs. Or the ones in relationships," Abi pointed out. "But we're going to the beach. You have forty minutes to pack your shit."

__________

An hour later, after much complaining, whining, and re-packing, everyone had crammed themselves into a van. Ginger was at the wheel since he was the most responsible of the group and John had claimed the seat next to him. Tim, Trent, and Daisy had taken the seat behind them. The next row was taken by Abi, Marilyn, and Twiggy. The back seat held Elizabeth, Zim, and Pogo.

"How long is it gonna take?" Pogo whined before Ginger had even pulled out of the parking lot of the hospital.

"Even longer if you don't shut up," Abi warned, turning to glare at him. Pogo stuck out his tongue and shifted positions; laying his head in Zim's lap and pressing his feet on the window. Abi sighed, wanting to comment on the fact that Pogo's boots were probably going to make smudges on the window, but deciding against it.

"What are you doing?" Zim asked, poking Pogo's messy hair. The keyboardist just smiled at him.

"Enjoying the ride," he replied simply.

"With your head in my lap?"

"There will be no oral sex while I'm driving this fucking car!" Ginger yelled, glaring at the spot where Pogo should have been through the rearview mirror.

"You're just jealous that John can't give you a blow job," Pogo laughed.

Ginger deadpanned. "No, I just don't want to be the one responsible if we get pulled over and the cops find you sucking off Zim in the backseat."

"Well would you prefer anal sex?"

"POGO!"

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Pogo laughed, flipping off Ginger. After five calm minutes of driving, Pogo slyly began unzipping Zim's shorts.

"Pogo, what the fuck?!" Zim hissed, trying to swat Pogo's hand away.

"Shh," Pogo breathed, trying to keep Zim calm and quiet. "I want to prove Ginger wrong. It can work if you don't say anything."

"How can I not say anything if you're sucking me off?" Zim asked, sharply but quietly.

"Bite your lip and grab my shirt or something," Pogo responded, unbuttoning his shorts. Zim looked around. Daisy had passed out on the floor of the van and Tim and Trent were nowhere to be seen; probably sleeping, too. Twiggy and Marilyn were sharing quiet kisses while Abi stared out the window. Next to him, Elizabeth was engrossed in a book.

"Would you stop if I screamed 'Rape?'" Zim asked, trying one last time to push Pogo off.

"Nope. Or I'd just wait until later," he said absentmindedly, winning the battle of the tight clasp of Zim's leather shorts.

"As long as you respect me when you're done," Zim joked.

In the front seat, John laid his head down on Ginger's hoodie, which was sitting between them on the van's bench seat. John tugged on one of Ginger's hands, knowing that he was fully able to drive with one hand. The drummer smiled warmly at the blonde haired man below him.

Ginger drove without distractions for ten minutes before he became aware of someone snoring. He rolled his eyes and looked back but didn't find the person snoring because his eyes were automatically drawn to the backseat. Zim was biting his lip and trying to smile at Ginger to act as if nothing was wrong.

The drummer smiled back and focused on his driving once more. It wasn't until a few seconds later that he realized what was going on.

"Goddammit, Pogo!" Ginger yelled. "You better not be doing what I think you're doing!"

All that could be heard was a muffled cackle coming from the backseat.

Ginger growled, "If I weren't driving this fucking van, I would come back there and strangle you."

This commotion caught the attention of everyone in the car - excluding Daisy, who was still asleep.

"POGO!" Abi exclaimed in astonishment after she had turned to examine the situation. This caused Elizabeth to feel the need to inspect what lascivious acts the men next to her were committing. Her response was to break out in an almost-maniacal giggle.

"Oh, come on guys! What the fuck!" Marilyn groaned while Twiggy followed Elizabeth's example and giggled obscenely.

"What is it? I can't see," Trent complained, sitting up on the seat to try and see over Marilyn and Twiggy's heads.

"Trust me, you don't wanna see," Marilyn said, turning around and looking seriously at Trent. Twiggy remained turned around, watching the sight behind him.

"John, can you take the wheel for a minute?" Ginger asked tensely, looking at John, who was watching the sight through the rearview mirror.

"You know I can't drive, Ginge," John said quietly. Ginger sighed and nodded. If it was anyone else, he would have forced them behind the wheel. But it was John and John was different.

"Ohh-kay," Ginger sighed, drawing out the word. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration before opening his mouth to yell something at Pogo.

"H-hold on," Zim gasped breathlessly, "He's almost done."

"You're all assholes!" Ginger yelled dramatically, turning back to look out the windshield instead of witnessing what was going on in the back seat.

Five minutes later, Zim announced, "Okay, we're done."

"Great. Good to know," Ginger replied, partially sarcastic and partially serious.

Pogo giggled obscenely. "You know, I wouldn't have done that if you hadn't said anything."

Ginger growled, once again in frustration. "Fuck you, Pogo."

"You better watch what you wish for, Ginger. You just might get it."

__________

"There! There's a beach!" John exclaimed, pointing at a beach that was in the distance. "Let's go there."

"Fucking finally!" Pogo said dramatically. An hour and a half had passed since the incident with Zim and he hadn't felt the need to instigate anymore fights.

Now that John had mentioned a sight of a beach, everyone became antsy and excited, peering out the windows and planning out what they were going to do once they got there.

"Alright," Ginger sighed, "You're sure that's where you want to go?"

"Yes!" Pogo shouted. "I need to get out of this fucking car!"

Ginger pulled into the parking lot of the beach and had barely parked the car before the doors flew open and everyone began to clamber out to breathe in the ocean air.

As soon as Abi stepped out of the van, she stopped. "Jesus fucking Christ."

"What? What is it?" Elizabeth asked, shoving past Zim and Pogo to hop out next to her friend. Abi turned to Elizabeth, looking at her with near-haunted eyes.

"It's a nude beach."

__________

Twenty minutes later, almost everyone had stripped off their clothes and were enjoying their time at the beach, the only exceptions being Abi, Elizabeth, and Zim, who were walking along the beach together, holding an umbrella to avoid tanning. Daisy had gotten caught up in a conversation with a woman who he claimed to have once dated. Pogo was on a panda bear leash that was connected to Zim's waist. Twiggy had immediately coaxed Marilyn into the water and they were both out there somewhere, though no one could quite place where. John and Ginger had packed an umbrella of their own along with a blanket and had fashioned themselves a makeshift tent, under which they had disappeared fifteen minutes earlier. Tim had set up a blanket and was sitting on it, holding Trent in his arms.

"It's like Adam and Eve, but with more people!" Pogo screamed, running down the beach.

"Pogo, you asshole, stop running!" Zim shouted as he was dragged forward. Pogo immediately stopped, though not due to the other man's demands. He had stopped to poke at a crab that was scuttling through the sand.

"This is possibly the biggest mistake I've ever made," Abi said, hanging her head in shame. "It's more stressful than just staying at the hospital and dealing with their... shit."

"Well you can always look on the bright side," Zim suggested.

Abi looked at Zim with an emotionless expression and asked cynically, "How is there possibly even a bright side to this situation?"

"You get to see me shirtless," Zim grinned, referring to the fact that he had stripped off his shirt instead of getting completely naked.

"You're an ass," Abi said, though she couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, I suppose you could count the fact that we don't have to clean up the epic mess they made, since we called the maids in," Elizabeth shrugged

"You make a good point," Abi said.

Suddenly, Zim was jerked forward and off to the side into the water.

"POGO!" he shouted again, jerking on the leash that connected the two of them. The tug caused Pogo to slip and fall into the water in which he had ventured. Zim also stumbled when he tried to exit the water, for he hadn't removed his boots and they had gotten stuck in the wet sand.

"Oh my God," he said, his voice somewhat scared, "I got my fucking boots stuck in the sand. Oh shit, somebody fucking get me out!"

"Hold on, we'll help," Abi said, collapsing the umbrella. Elizabeth was already over, trying to dislodge one of Zim's feet. Abi joined her, trying to tug his shoe out of the mud that had suctioned him in.

After fifteen minutes, he cried, "It's not working!"

"Then just... take off your fucking boot, and we'll pull it out," Elizabeth suggested, already untying his boots. This method worked, and both Zim and his boots were out of the sand within moments.

The guitarist held his shoes up for inspection. "They look fine. I'll have to wash them, but I think they'll be okay."

"You're so dramatic," Abi sighed.

"And you're not?" Zim shot back.

"Oh my God, this is awesome!" Pogo shouted, trying to run down the beach one more.

"You fucking asshole, if you do that one more time I'm going to strangle you!"