Turn It Into Magic

After the girls finished their first mugs of hot chocolate, they were each feeling much more relaxed, especially Abi. Iggy prepared them all another mug before they began their detective work.

"Let's start with a process of elimination," Elizabeth said, getting right down to business. "Shall I get the files?" Abi nodded to her. The other girl stood up and a handful of folders out of a filing cabinet and brought them all over to the table.

"What are these?" Iggy asked as she flipped through a few of them.

"We keep files of everyone who has ever stayed at the hospital," Abi responded. "At first I didn't know why we should keep them, but now it seems it's come in handy."

"So who do we take out first?" Iggy asked. "Probably the people that aren't here anymore, right?"

"Yeah. If a name doesn't sound familiar, just put the file over here." Abi pointed to a clean space on the table.

The three sorted through handfuls of files. Many were simply for people who had only spent a few nights, most of whom were guests of Pogo's. Men like Brian Molko and Robin Finck had been invited over for a small vacation consisting of various kinds of debauchery. It was easy to put those aside. After only a few minutes, they had slimmed the stack considerably.

"Now the question is, where do we go from here?" Elizabeth was the one who presented the question as she sat back in her chair with one hand folded in her lap and the other was used as a means for her to steadily sip her hot beverage.

"Well, we could eliminate all the people that are couples," Abi suggested as she set all the remaining folders into two stacks: those that were single and those were weren't. The former stack was impressively small.

"Shit," Elizabeth commented. "Who do we have?"

Iggy did the honors of reading the names: "Daisy, Sara Lee, Pogo, and Zim."

"Did Daisy ever come back from that romantic rendezvous he had with that one woman at the nude beach?" Elizabeth asked. She couldn't remember having seen the man since.

Abi chewed her lip. "As far as I know, he never came back."

And so Daisy's file was eliminated.

"What about Sara Lee? What even happened to him? He came back from vacation with us, but since then... poof." Elizabeth imitated a small explosion with her hands. "Gone."

"Maybe he's hibernating," Abi suggested.

"Could be. And he can't have a thing for you if he's asleep."

The drummer was eliminated just as quickly as he disappeared.

"So that leaves us with Zim and Pogo," Iggy said. Each of the girls stared at the offending files on the table.

Elizabeth shook her head and said, "It could be possible, but it doesn't sound right to me. Let's lay out all the folders from the 'couples' pile. Maybe someone isn't being faithful."

"Why doesn't it sound right? Pogo could very well be talking about himself or Zim," Abi said, though she did what Elizabeth suggested.

"Well, we know that they both like sex, which is quite obvious. Then again, who doesn't? But neither of them seem like they would pursue you romantically. Pogo has, er, had his way with you, but it was for fun. For him at least. Plus, he has a crush of his own, the other girl responded.

"Pogo has a crush? On who?!" Iggy demanded, surprised.

"John," the other two answered in unison. When Iggy's look of shock remained, Abi continued, "It's a long story, involving war, kidnapping, and sexual frustration on the part of a few men. Don't worry, we'll fill you in later."

"Okay..." Iggy trailed off. She took a deep breath and asked, "So what's next?"

"We could go through everybody and see who's more likely to be the culprit."

A half an hour later, everything had finally been organized. Twiggy, Ginger, Zim and Pogo were all added to the 'least suspected' pile (and Elizabeth took the liberty of pointing out that this was probably the first time Pogo wasn't suspected of anything). Tim, Trent, Marilyn, and John were decided to be the most likely suspects, although a bit of discussion was centered around the likelihood of Tim and John betraying their partners, but were added to the pile just in case.

"It would probably be best if we spent a day observing each separate man for anything that would raise suspicion and go from there," Abi shrugged. "Marilyn could go first, since he'll probably be the easiest to watch.

"That sounds gr-" Iggy was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in," Abi called,

"To no ones surprise, it was the keyboardist who entered the office. He had a smile on his face as he pulled a chair up to their table.

"What's all this?" Pogo asked, gesturing to the piles of folders.

"Just some organization," Abi answered quickly. Ignoring Pogo's raised eyebrow, she continued. "I'm sure you didn't come here to help us, so what do you need?"

"I've come to finalize the matter of my compensation," he smiled. He folded his hands on the table and looked at Abi expectantly.

"So what have you decided?"

"I'll be taking the first part of tomorrow night. Close your mouth, there's no reason to protest. I'm giving you a night to yourself; you should be thanking me. Twiggy and I have also decided that we'd like our 24 hours two days after that," Pogo answered. Elizabeth and Iggy both looked at the other girl with searching eyes. They were yet to find out exactly what the so-called 'compensation' was.

"Okay, I suppose that's alright," Abi sighed, wondering how three newts and two cacti were worth this.

"Fantastic," Pogo said. He clapped his hands together once as he stood up. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go bother Zim"

Just as soon as he had entered, Pogo was gone. As he wandered through the halls in search of the guitarist, the girls set up all the necessary recording devices they would need and began to discuss what their move would be if Marilyn decided to wander through the hospital.

__________

The girls were startled by the door flying open several hours into their examination of the singer. In strutted Pogo, as if he owned the place, with Zim in tow. Abi quickly turned the chalkboard camera off and turned to stare at them.

"Pogo, didn't anyone ever teach you that it's impolite just to barge into people's rooms?" Abi asked.

"Zim told me to do it," Pogo retorted as he sat down next to the girls. The guitarist rolled his eyes and stood awkwardly next to him. Pogo had a tight grip on his wrist, making him incapable of grabbing a chair of his own.

"Yeah, I'm sure," Abi said sarcastically. "So what do you want, Pogo?"

"To show off my bounty," he snickered, tugging on Zim's wrist. The guitarist looked unenthused.

"What qualifies him to be your bounty?" Elizabeth asked, knowing that it wasn't wasn't exactly something anyone would agree to.

"Why, are you interested?"

"No, no. Just sheer curiosity."

"If you really must know, it's not necessarily consensual, although both parties enjoy it very much." Here, Zim interrupted Pogo to snort in disagreement. The keyboardist continued anyway. "Even if they don't admit to it."

"I think I'll have to pass on that one," Elizabeth said, turning to the laptop on her lap.

"Pogo, will you let me go so I can get a chair? Please?" Zim whined, trying to pull himself free from the other man's grasp.

"I don't trust you. What if you try to escape?" the keyboardist said, looking up at Zim with concerned eyes. Anyone whose eyes had strayed were now glued back to the scene before them once again.

"I won't escape, I promise. I just want to sit somewhere." The guitarist looked at Pogo with pleading eyes.

"There's a perfectly good floor right there," Pogo said, gesturing to a place next to his feet. Zim glared at the keyboardist fiercely, then flopped awkwardly onto his lap. Pogo's expression was one to behold: a look of pure horror and surprise flickered across his face, making Elizabeth snicker at him.

"You two are adorable," Abi smiled, knowing that it would annoy at least one of them.

Pogo only gave Abi a glare and poked Zim in the stomach. "Get off me, asshole. You can go get a chair now."

"No thanks. I'd much rather stay right here," he said, wiggling down into Pogo's arms. Finally, Pogo mustered up the courage to shove Zim onto the floor, where he landed rather gracelessly. Smirking, he grabbed the chair that he was trying to get in the first place and sat down.

"So what do you need, Pogo?" Abi asked, an amused smile making its way onto her lips.

"How's that research coming along?" Pogo shot back.

"What research?" Zim asked.

"It's coming along great, thanks for asking," she retorted, her tone just as sharp as the keyboardist's.

"What research?" Zim asked again, although this time his voice was much quieter and the question was directed at Iggy. The girl hesitated, knowing that they weren't supposed to tell a lot of people about what Pogo know.

"Ask Pogo," she responded instead.

Zim sighed and poked Pogo's arm. "Pogo, what research?"

"Confidential research," he shot back quickly. "Now, I've got some things to attend to, so I'll be leaving."

As he left the room, Abi muttered, "That's the second time he's abruptly left today. He must be up to something.

"Pogo's always up to something," Zim responded.

"True."

__________

Several hours later, Abi was on her way to the kitchen to get some food for the three girls when she spotted a difference on one the bulletin boards that announced when things were taking place at the hospital. She stopped, turned around, and examined it carefully. It didn't take her long to spot the bright pink paper stuck in the middle of the board and covering several other fliers. This one proudly declared: "Need more excitement? Come to Pogo's seminar and learn from the master of entertainment. Or else." This was surrounded by some random Spooky Kids-like drawings and little phrases that probably didn't pertain to anything.

Abi rolled her eyes and checked the date. This seminar was taking place in four days time, just after their compensation would be coming to an end. She tore this one down to show her friends and headed off in the direction of the kitchen.

"Hi Abi!" John's cheery voice came from the direction of the refrigerator.

"Hi, John," she responded with a wave as she opened up the pantry.

"Have you seen the fliers for Pogo's seminar?" he asked. Abi turned around to see that Ginger was sitting on the counter, observing one of the fliers himself.

"Yeah, I've got one right here." She waved the pink paper out for all to see.

"What do you think? Are you gonna go?"

"I probably have to. For one, I'm curious to know what he's got planned. He's probably going to force us all to go, anyway," she sighed, dreading the days to come. Nearly every day was jam packed with some sort of Pogo's shenanigans, most of which she was the victim of. To say she wasn't looking forward to it would be a severe understatement.

"Yeah, I kind of want to know, too. Lord only knows what he's going to do," Ginger said as he shook his head. "I don't think it could be much worse than the Dope Hat."

"Hey!" John exclaimed, pouting.

"The first round. The one involving Pogo," Ginger said as clarification.

"That's better."

"I wonder why it's so far away, though. I'd think he'd want to have it sometime soon," the drummed mused as he examined the paper again.

"Maybe he needs time to prepare. Or to make sure everyone sees his flier," John suggested. He pulled some leftover food out of the fridge and put it in the microwave.

"No, that's not it," Abi murmured.

"What is it, then?" John asked.

"Pogo and I made a... a deal. He would show us what was in the closet as long as I paid him back for it," Abi admitted unhappily.

"... What kind of deal did you make?" Ginger asked, his lip curling in near-disgust.

"He has complete control of me tomorrow night, and then two days from then he and Twiggy are having some sort of free day."

"All that to see some newts and cacti?"

"I thought maybe he'd have some women tied up in there or something to torture us all with," Abi said, trying to defend poor decision. She pulled out a few bags of chips just as the microwave beeped, signaling that John's food had finished warming up. "I've got to get back to the office. We're conducting some research that needs to be attended to at all times."

"Always so mysterious," Ginger laughed. "I'll see you later, then."

"Bye Ginge, bye John." Abi waved with the flier as she headed out of the room.

"Have fun!" the guitarist called through a mouthful of lasagna.

"I'll try," Abi sighed. It took her a few minutes to get back to the office, where Elizabeth and Iggy were waiting for their food.

"What's that?" Elizabeth asked, motioning to the flier Abi held in her hand as she grabbed her bag of chips.

"Pogo's holding a seminar in a few days that we're all supposed to attend," Abi responded as she plopped down in her chair. On the chalkboard before then, Marilyn and Twiggy were watching a movie with the lights dimmed.

"A seminar? For what?"

Abi shrugged. "I guess we're going to have to find out."