Turn It Into Magic

The following morning, the hospital was absolutely spotless. All the pink wallpaper had been torn down and the cupboards emptied of the things Jeffree had put in them. No one was quite sure when everything was taken care of or where all the confiscated glitter and razorblades went, but no one would ask for fear that acknowledging it would bring it back. However, the question of how Twiggy and Pogo had managed to clean up an entire hospital while everyone was in bed, then still stay awake the next morning was on all of their minds.

"It'll be nice just to relax today," Abi said. She was stretching at the dining room table with Elizabeth, Iggy, John and Ginger around her. The four others exchanged a worried glance.

"Abi..." John started softly, as if he were afraid of hurting her.

"What? Is something wrong?"

"Pogo's seminar is today."

Abi dropped her head onto her arms and emitted a groan. Elizabeth patted the back of her friend's head in a rather unemotional attempt to console her. It took the other girl several moments before she was able to lift her head again, but when she did, her face was void of any emotion.

"Well," she began optimistically, "I don't think it could get any worse than the things he's already done."

__________

Pogo stood at the front of the room, looking out at all the unsmiling faces in the crowd. The last time this many people had been gathered in this room, it was to discover who Ginger's second lover would be from the Dope Hat drawings. The aforementioned drummer had taken his place in the back corner of the room, trying not to think about where he was. John sat next to him, a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Abi had taken her place just in front of them, dragging Elizabeth and Iggy along with her. Twiggy had forced Marilyn to sit with him in the front row. The rest of the men in the hospital had spread themselves out in the remaining chairs around the room.

Exactly one hour before, Pogo had hacked into the intercom and announced that they were to be gathered in the 'conference' room for his seminar. There wasn't a single person in the hospital that didn't hurry to the conference room as soon as they heard the message. While they weren't necessarily looking forward to it in terms of enjoying the seminar, it was sure to be a topic of conversation and reminiscing in the weeks ahead.

Pogo cleared his throat loudly. The room immediately fell silent as all the attention was focused on they keyboardist. He glanced around before he began.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to my seminar," he began smoothly with a sly smirk on his face. "I know you've all been anxiously awaiting to find out what this was going to be about. And, of course, I'm here to tell you exactly what you want to know.

"First and foremost, I want you to know that I'm glad you could all make it," he smiled, knowing full well that, if given the choice, none of them would have attended the seminar. "Now, you're about to witness the best seminar ever held in this hospital."

Pogo stepped back from the podium. The lights dimmed and a screen slowly slid down from the ceiling. Then, suddenly, a light from the back of the room flashed and a projector system turned on. When it fully powered up, the reason for Pogo's seminar became very clear. In white letters on an otherwise black screen, everyone could read: "Tips and Tricks on How to Properly Rape".

The room was silent as everyone stared in shock. Not a single person was willing to believe that what they were seeing was true.

"Now, to begin my seminar, I'd like to start you off with an example. The experience Ginger and-"

"Madonna Wayne motherfucking Gacy!" Abi cried incredulously as she leaped from her chair. His words had finally sunk in enough to the point where she finally realized the horror of what was going on.

"Yes?" he inquired, appearing as though he regarded her a curious student.

"No! You are not just going to hold a seminar on how to rape people! That's just wrong! Morally wrong!"

"Since when do you care about morality?" he laughed. It was like the sound of the keyboardist's voice caused a dam to break within everyone in the room. Suddenly, everyone was shouting, yelling, arguing, and just senselessly bitching about the seminar or anything else that struck their fancy. Through the din of the noise, Pogo still tried to continue the seminar.

"As you can see here, the first tip is-"

"How could you even talk about that, Pogo?! It involves me, don't you think I should-"

"Can't we all just-"

"You fucking asshole!"

"ENOUGH!"

The echo of the shout lingered in the room like a full moon in the early morning. It sliced through all the fighting, arguing, and otherwise senseless noise, putting everything to an immediate end. All eyes turned to the front of the room, where Marilyn stood.

"Seriously. Can we just all shut up for a few minutes so we can solve this?" No one responded to Marilyn's exasperated tone, as they were all to busy staring at him like cowering children. After a few moments passed, the singer sighed, "Thank you."

"What do you think we should do, Marilyn?" Ginger asked meekly. He was speaking for the entire room, but he was still scared that the singer would blow up at him.

The black haired man scanned the faces of everyone in the room before shrugging. "Let's just take a break. We'll meet in the dining room later to eat together and talk about this."

With a few murmurs expressing their like of the idea, many of the people quickly filtered out of the room. Soon, the only ones left were Ginger, John, Marilyn, and the three girls. As soon as they were sure they weren't going to be bothered, they gathered close together.

"Alright, Marilyn. What's the plan?"

__________

Several hours later, everyone had crammed their way into the dining room and found a place at the long table. By the time they arrived, they had all been informed of the topic of conversation for the night by one person or another. The only one who was still clueless was Pogo.

The tinkling of a fork against a glass brought the dining room to silence. Everyone looked expectantly to Abi. The girl had taken her place at one end of the table while Pogo was occupying the other. She had waited until the dessert arrived - tiramisu - before making her announcement.

"Well, by now, most of you have found out why we're here," Abi said sullenly.

"Did I miss something?" Pogo asked, sounding confused. He glanced around the room, but no one's face revealed anything to him aside from their concern.

"Pogo... we're worried about you," Twiggy said. "We just want to help you."

"What are you guys talking about?"

"Your addiction."

Pogo wrinkled his nose. "What addiction?"

"It's obvious, Pogo. You held a seminar on it today," Abi murmured.

"For fuck's sake," the keyboardist muttered as he pinched the bridge of his nose. Almost immediately, however, he sprang back up, a look of amusement on his face.

"Why do you do it, Pogs?" Twiggy whispered. Tears welled in his eyes, though the keyboardist elicited no emotion while looking at the man across the table.

"I dunno," he shrugged as a response.

"Can't you see that it hurts us, Pogo? That it tears this hospital apart?"

"No."

Abi spoke up before Twiggy could say anything more. "Well, Pogo. How many people have you... taken?" Hm?"

The keyboardist looked as if he were trying to recall a number, but shrugged instead.

"Do you remember that one time we went to the mall and got our newts and the cacti and the Lite Brite?" Twiggy asked. "Do you remember how you pointed out people in the mall, telling me you 'bummed that one'?"

"I remember quite well."

"How can you be so careless about this?" John demanded in a harsh whisper, almost as if he had been personally betrayed.

"Because this-"

"It's out of hand, Pogo, that's what it is!" Abi snapped. Ginger patted her hand consolingly. "We just don't want you to get in trouble for this."

"Uh-huh."

"Can't you just see that we want to help?" Twiggy cried. Marilyn slid his arm around his lover and patted his shoulder gently.

Their desperate pleas for Pogo to listen and understand them continued long after everyone had finished their desserts. People began sharing kind stories and things that worried them about Pogo's so-called addiction. They keyboardist had, surprisingly, stayed rather quiet the entire time. He offered very little when asked about things. While each person spoke, he looked at them with a vacantly amused expression, though he said nothing but few-word sentences.

"So, Pogo? Have you changed your ways? Will you at least consider it?" she asked.

The keyboardist looked around the room. Hope was written across the faces of all the people there. Finally, he grinned happily and said, "Hell no."

"What?!"

"I said, hell no. You guys have no appreciation for the services I provide people. It's something they need, although they may not want to admit it to themselves. And I sure as hell don't plan on giving it up," he said, self-righteously.

"But... but-"

The keyboardist stood abruptly from the table and, with a wink to John and Abi, he stated, "And I'll be having one of you tonight."

With that, he turned on his heel and walked out of the room, leaving the dining room in a state of shock not unlike that one at his seminar. Moments passed before anyone had even regained the capability of speech.

"Well, that was a complete failure," Marilyn nodded. Everyone murmured their agreement.

"He seen through it, didn't he?" Twiggy asked.

"Yep, I think he did."

"Damn. Well, at least I'm not going to be the ones paying for it," he said. Abi and John both glared at the bassist.

"What now?" Zim asked. His question wasn't addressed to anyone in particular.

"I don't even know," Abi sighed. "I'm going back to the office to think this over. Maybe we should just have a seminar on how to fend off Pogo."

"As if that would work," Tim scoffed.

Abi turned her glare to him. "Shut up, Skold, or I'll tell him to get you next."

"Hey, no need to take this out on everybody else. Let's just wait for this to pass and see what happens next," Trent said calmly.

Elizabeth sighed. "How about we just call it a day?"