Status: If you want my effort put to this then tell me and I will try to update more. 0.o
He Ain't a Crook Son, He's Just a Shook One
In the Gutter, In Luck
I’m so hammered right now, I forgot my own mother’s name- and I don’t give a shit. The street lights reeled first left, then right, then started getting farther away… thump. My head hit the cement, still warm from this afternoon’s heat, which didn’t help my eyes focus any.
A giggle was heard from around my feet and a hand grabbed at my foot. “I guess we should have stopped at eight beers huh Cub?” James and I had raided his parents’ basement and left with our booty: an entire case of Budweiser (and maybe a bottle or two of red wine that his parents wouldn’t miss anyway).
“hmmmmmmm,” I started to answer but got too caught up in humming the Pac-man theme song to continue. Or at least I tried to hum the Pac-man theme song: it sounded nice to me, but evidently Jamesie-poo didn’t think so.
“shhuut up,” he mumbled and hit me with an empty beer bottle, which probably would have hurt like a sonofabitch if I hadn’t been intoxicated beyond pain. I was fucking INVINCIBLE MOTHERFUCKERS! Fear the pinky!
Ops.
I think I hit Jamsie in the head with my elbow while pulling a Dr. Evil.
He grunted and pushed me off the curb and into the gutter.
“oh look!” I announced, unconcerned with the street grime that was infiltrating my jeans and shirt. “a penny that’s heads up! find a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck! Do you think it will matter that its night time Jamsie?” a light snore told me just how interested he was in my miraculous discovery.
After admiring my booty for another few minutes I grunted and slowly maneuvered my way over to James’ unconscious body. Lifting one of his arms over my shoulder I used the rock wall lining the sidewalk to pull both of us to our feet my feet.
The stumble back to his house is a blur of concrete, cuss words, and the feeling of alcohol rushing through my veins. I think I may have stopped to puke once, or perhaps I didn’t even stop. But however I managed, we got to his house and into his room like the drunken ninjas we were.
The next morning I was pulled from unconsciousness by someone shoving my legs in a circle till my head came in contact with something hard.
“Fuck!” was the first word that came to mind as I grabbed my throbbing noggin and curled into a tight ball around the source of all my pain.
“And just why are you on the floor, in front of the door, might I ask?” came the high and mighty voice that could only have been James’s mother.
“It just took my fancy.” I groaned, mentally blasting her with my laser gun several times. Then another few just to be sure.
“Well get up and get out. James has a recital today and you need to leave.” Well I could see how welcome I was here. So with one short stop in the bathroom, for personal reasons as well as to chug three Advil, I left for the day. Because I was coming back.
Where else was I supposed to stay that night? Home? Pfft.
A giggle was heard from around my feet and a hand grabbed at my foot. “I guess we should have stopped at eight beers huh Cub?” James and I had raided his parents’ basement and left with our booty: an entire case of Budweiser (and maybe a bottle or two of red wine that his parents wouldn’t miss anyway).
“hmmmmmmm,” I started to answer but got too caught up in humming the Pac-man theme song to continue. Or at least I tried to hum the Pac-man theme song: it sounded nice to me, but evidently Jamesie-poo didn’t think so.
“shhuut up,” he mumbled and hit me with an empty beer bottle, which probably would have hurt like a sonofabitch if I hadn’t been intoxicated beyond pain. I was fucking INVINCIBLE MOTHERFUCKERS! Fear the pinky!
Ops.
I think I hit Jamsie in the head with my elbow while pulling a Dr. Evil.
He grunted and pushed me off the curb and into the gutter.
“oh look!” I announced, unconcerned with the street grime that was infiltrating my jeans and shirt. “a penny that’s heads up! find a penny pick it up all day long you’ll have good luck! Do you think it will matter that its night time Jamsie?” a light snore told me just how interested he was in my miraculous discovery.
After admiring my booty for another few minutes I grunted and slowly maneuvered my way over to James’ unconscious body. Lifting one of his arms over my shoulder I used the rock wall lining the sidewalk to pull both of us to our feet my feet.
The stumble back to his house is a blur of concrete, cuss words, and the feeling of alcohol rushing through my veins. I think I may have stopped to puke once, or perhaps I didn’t even stop. But however I managed, we got to his house and into his room like the drunken ninjas we were.
The next morning I was pulled from unconsciousness by someone shoving my legs in a circle till my head came in contact with something hard.
“Fuck!” was the first word that came to mind as I grabbed my throbbing noggin and curled into a tight ball around the source of all my pain.
“And just why are you on the floor, in front of the door, might I ask?” came the high and mighty voice that could only have been James’s mother.
“It just took my fancy.” I groaned, mentally blasting her with my laser gun several times. Then another few just to be sure.
“Well get up and get out. James has a recital today and you need to leave.” Well I could see how welcome I was here. So with one short stop in the bathroom, for personal reasons as well as to chug three Advil, I left for the day. Because I was coming back.
Where else was I supposed to stay that night? Home? Pfft.
♠ ♠ ♠
thank you Dormouse whose comment triggered me to finnish this one up. i hope you like it ^^"I wonder how much it would take to buy a soap-bubble, if there was only one in the world."
-Mark Twain