Code of Honor

I froze, staring at the empty bed. He was always there. He had never failed to beat me here before. I was at a loss. Slowly I walked over and looked around, half expecting to find him somewhere. When he didn’t show up around or under the bed, I sat down. I had never been alone in here before and it was downright creepy. I found myself wishing he was here just for my protection. Without his company the sights and sounds of the empty mall were frightening.

I let out a deep breath and tried to calm myself down. A apart of me knew most the noises were just the wind rushing through the broken windows, or the sounds of nocturnal animals but my mind couldn’t help but turn them into monsters. Everything sounded like footsteps all of a sudden. Quickly I ran my hands down my face and fought to get a hold of myself.

“Grow up,” I muttered to myself.

I had been here a thousand times and nothing had happened to me yet. I was safe, as long as I was careful. Like always. It was Riley I should be worrying about. I was safe hidden in here. But why wasn’t he here. He was here every night, or that’s what he had told me. Had something happened to him? Maybe his superiors had found out he’d had something to do with the slaves escaping. He would be seriously punished if he was caught.

I felt the fear in my gut shift from me to him. There was end of the things they would do to him if they caught him. There was a high chance they’d kill him. He wasn’t all that important to them and they lacked a serious system of crime and punishment. Unless you counted the bullet. They wouldn’t question it either. They more than likely just put him down. My already restless stomach flipped at the thought making me feel like I was going to be sick. I should have stayed at the hideout.

I stood up slowly. Contemplating going back. Riley wasn’t here and there was chance he wasn’t coming back. I couldn’t sit here all night waiting for him. Though I wanted to. It was too risky. Someone could find me here alone and I’ve nowhere to run and no one to hear me scream.

Just as the thought crossed my mind a loud bang jolted me. I stumbled over my own feet as I came to a dead stop. This time I could really hear footsteps coming closer and closer. The wind following behind them. Fear rose in my throat making it hard to breathe. The rational part of my brain screamed at me to hide but my feet were frozen in fear.

It wasn’t until the banging reached the door leading right into the store I was hiding inside that my feet finally came back to life. I stumbled backwards until I fell over the bed tactically and landed on the other side. Where I hid behind it, carefully poking my head up so I could see out the other side and still not be seen. From where I was hiding I could see the top of the large roller door over the last of the shelving. I watched it slide up and then back down very slowly, and silently.

Someone was definitely coming in here. I glanced back behind me planning a quick escape route. I really only had one option and that was still a hard one to make. It was way to open with way to many places to get cornered. Alas, if someone was out to hurt me I’d really have no choice. Carefully I sat up, moving my feet beneath me so I was ready to run at a seconds notice. I noted the gun holstered in the side of my jeans and slowly lowered my hand towards it, swallowing hard. I didn’t want to use it. My father’s old hunting rule of never turning a gun on another person was so deeply ingrained in me I wasn’t sure if I even could. I looked back up as a talk lanky figure rounded the shelves and came into the only light in the room.

“Where have you been?”

It had slipped out before I could help it. Riley jumped and frowned down at the bed where I was slowly sitting up.

“What are you doing?” he asked slowly.

“You scared the shit out of me,” I sighed and he chuckled.

“Sorry,” He replied walking over to where I was sitting. “I didn’t expect you to some tonight.”

“Dad was distracted with our new friends,” I said simply and he smirked.

“So they found you?” he asked and I nodded. “That’s good. I was worried they wouldn’t make it.”

I smiled. “Apparently you had something to do with it?”

He shrugged like it was no big deal. “There wasn’t much I could do. I pointed them in the right direction and turned my back.”

“Are you going to get in trouble for that?” I asked concerned.

“They can’t prove it,” He replied. “I wasn’t even meant to be on duty, I was covering for someone. So they don’t even know I was there at the time…anyway he have to get moving,” He said reaching for my hand.

“Why?” I frowned.

“They have people out looking for the escapee’s,” He explained. Pulling me to my feet. I liked the felling of his thick calloused hand in mine. “This is going to be one of the places they continually check.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah. I wasn’t even going to risk coming out tonight but then I thought you might. So on the chance you did I thought I’d come out here and make sure you didn’t get caught,” he smiled.

“Thanks,” I replied.

The thought of soldiers being out looking for them had never crossed my mind. I had been so caught up with the day’s events and so quick to jump on the chance to see Riley I really hadn’t thought it through. I’d jumped so quickly on the chance to him while everyone else had been distracted and asleep.

“So, do we head back?” I asked slightly disappointed.

“No,” He said a little too quickly, turning before I could fully register the blush on his cheeks. “Well, we don’t have to. I know a place. If you don’t mind the walk.”

“I don’t mind,” I replied as he turned to face me once more.

He smiled at me again. All of a sudden all the thoughts of walking away left me. I don’t think I could have made my feet work if I wanted to. Not while he was staring at me. I was hopeless. After everything I had been through I would have thought boys would be the last thing to make my knees weak. But alas, it was happening all over again. He reached up slowly and brushed a long strand of my overgrown hair behind me ear. I swear I almost swooned.

“C’mon, let’s go,” He said oblivious.

Forcing my knees to work once more I fell into step beside him as he walked me out of the Mall. We snuck back out the back door and into the night. The moon was still behind the clouds but with Riley beside me, I didn’t care. The night didn’t scare me.

“Do you think any of these cars even work anymore?” I asked as we passed a beaten up red truck.

It reminded me of my grandfathers truck. The one that used to take my father hunting, and then me and my brother camping. That car had almost lasted a lifetime. It probably still ran now.

“Doubt it,” Riley said. “The fuel would have gone off and everything would more than likely be rusted out. All you’d do is make noise and attract attention. Thought you said you didn’t mind the walk.”

“I don’t,” I replied. “I was just curious. Some of them look alright.”

Most of them were battered and beaten but there was a few that still looked in alright shape,From the outside. I couldn’t help but wonder where some of them come from, what their story was. Some looked like they had been parked and left behind.

Probably someone heading to work that dreadful morning and never making it out of the building. Then there was a couple here and there, in awkward positions, some turned on their roofs, some in buildings and some in the dead center of the road where they had run out of fuel during someone’s daring escape attempt. I knew some of them would have been overturned and destroyed in the riots, before and following the bombs. The rest looked like people trying to get out of the city and failing for whatever reason. A car had never been an option for us.

Riley shrugged and smirked. “If you want a car, you’d be best taking one from us.”

“Yeah right,” I snorted. “I’m sure that would go down well.”

“From what I know, you have no issue stealing from the army.”

I laughed. “Well you told me to. You’re the bad influence here.”

“Me,” He said mocking shock. “I’m a man in uniform…you on the other hand.” He turned his nose up at me.

“Really?” I asked mocking hurt while trying not to smile. “Well screw you then.”

I picked up my pace and stepped a few feet ahead of him. Giving the impression I was leaving him behind. But what he said next made me stop and finally crack and almost fall to the ground laughing.

“Really! Later then?”

I turned to face him as he caught up with me. “Not gonna happen pretty boy,” I laughed. “I got standards.”

He raised his eyebrow and I gaped. “Asshole.”

He laughed and stepped quickly to close the gap between us. I turned to ignore him only to have his strong arms wrap around me from behind and pull me close. I liked the feeling but I wasn’t going to let him know that just yet.

“Hey, who said I wanted you to touch me?”

He snorted. “It’s okay you love me.”

“Whatever, Where are we going?” I asked as he let me go and stepped beside me. Taking my hand.

“You’ll see when we get there.”

I frowned but didn’t push for an answer. I was already starting to recognize the area. We were out of the central area of the city, heading through the edge of the industrial area, towards the docks and the factories. The docks had been the life force of our city. For nearly a hundred years when the basis of the city was first built around the docks themselves. We offered more of a distributing service to the surrounding area. All the way up to Maine. It certainly wasn’t the best and biggest docking area around but it worked well and kept our city alive.

My grandfather had worked the docks in his day. From when he was fourteen until they day he died at 78. My father had also worked the docks as a teenager before spending the rest of his life working in the surrounding factories as a laborer. Like most of the men in the area. Even my great grandfather had worked the docks and factories. Our family practically grew up there so I knew the area well.

I was overwhelmed with old memories as we approached and I could see it on the horizon. I used to come down here all the time. Not only to visit my father during the summer holidays when I was bored. Occasionally being put to work with my grandfather on the docks. Buy every other day we would come down here and swim along the beach.

Even with the thriving industry along the coastline. The beaches were still in amazing shape. The docks and industry created a bad enough backdrop to keep the tourists away. So nearly every day of the year the beach was empty. Minus the local kids. Of all the places Riley could have taken me, he had picked the best one of all. This was one my favorite places in the world.

This area had pretty much remained untouched by the war. The only indication that something had happened was the lack of people around the usually busy area. My father said it was because the first invaders we’d endured had used it as an entry point into the city. Compared to the boarders, our waters were pretty undefended.

“I used to come here all the time,” I told him. Not able to wipe the smile of my face. “We used to jump off the docks when the ships were out…my brother always pushed me in when I wasn’t looking.”

“So did me and my brother. We used to go for the big ones on the far end. Always get in trouble from the workers though,” He smiled.

“Oh, so you were the barsted kids my pop was always complaining about?”

“Yeah probably,” he chuckled.

“You never told me you had a brother,” I said. Unable to help my curiosity.

He shrugged. “You never told me you had a brother.”

He had me there. Our whole relationship had been based on war. We had never really talked about out life before it. I knew nothing of his family or his past. But at the same time I understood. It was the same reason I never talked about it. It was painful to remember but still I managed to say it out loud for him.

“I had an older brother, and a younger sister,” I informed him. “My mom…was pregnant when she died…we never got to find out if it was a boy or a girl.”

My unborn sibling was something I never even talked about with my father. It was something we both ignored and pretended had never happened. It was another reason it hurt to see my Dad, father another child to another woman. That wasn’t my mother.

He frowned at the path beneath our feet. And squeezed my hand. “I had two younger brothers and my Mom,” He said. “My dad died when I was a kid. Technically my brothers, were step brothers but they never felt that way you know.”

“I know what you mean,” I replied. I understood completely.

“I like to think there in a better place now,” He said as we stepped onto the wooden pier, marked 2. “From what I can gather they all went pretty quickly.”
“I try not to think about it,” I replied. “I don’t want to know.”

“How did you make it?” he asked glancing at me.

I shrugged. “Dumb luck, I wagged school with my boyfriend at the time. We just managed to pick a spot away from the main impact…actually, if it wasn’t for Oliver, I’d be dead either way.”

Surprisingly, talking to him about this didn’t hurt as much as I had expected. I had expected crippling aches in my chest like always, strong enough to make me want to curl into a ball and howl. But they didn’t come…I felt relived. Like they were being taken away from me instead.“What about you, how did you make it through?”

“Like you, dumb luck. I got called into work for the day. Making money to help mum was always more important than school so I ditched and went. Luckily I was working with a friend’s dad a decent way out of the city. I felt the rumble and seen the smoke, but that was it.”

“The rest is history,” I sighed.

He nodded in response before slowly kneeling down into a sitting position on the end of the pier. Dangling his long legs over the edge. I followed and sat down beside him letting my leg fall over the edge. With a sigh he laid in a relaxed posture, spreading his arms up and under his head. Looking at the sky. Instinctively I to looked up. There were a few stars out but not many. Some were hidden behind the cloud cover, one stood out right above our heads.

“Do you think it’ll ever get better?” I asked.

“Not in our lifetime,” He replied simply. “Maybe though, one day. I don’t think it will ever go back to normal, but we’ll adapt.”

“Do you think about dying?”

I couldn’t help myself. All these questions were bursting out of me. Things I would have never felt comfortable talking to anyone else about.

“Do you?” He asked sitting up.

I shrugged. “I almost did once, and I don’t know. Ever since then I can’t help it. I think about how lucky I am that my dad found me when he did. Or how easily things could turn around and I become one of those rotting corpses on the street….” I sighed. “I know, it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid,” He said shaking his head. “It’s normal. I think about it to. I can’t help it. I know exactly what you mean. I see these bodies all the time and wonder how long it’ll be before I’m one of them.”

“Are you scared though?”

“No, not really,” He replied looking at me. “I kinda worry it might hurt,” He admitted. “But I’m not scared of dying itself.”

“I don’t know,” I sighed. “It all seems so scary to me.”

“Before all this, did anyone you were close to die?” He asked gently.

“No,” I replied. “Well…my nan. But I was never old enough to remember her.”

He reached for my hand and smiled a soft smile at me. “That’s why it scares you. It’s unknown.”

“What about you then?” I asked.

“I lost my dad to cancer, and a close friend to a car accident,” he replied slowly. “I got to know death early.”

He squeezed my hand and I looked away from the calm water and into his caring face. I seemed more bothered about his story than he was. But I guessed he was right. Death scared me because I didn’t know it. I was one of the few lucky people in the world who never really had to experience it for most my childhood. Carefully he put one hand on my leg and lent over me gently. Before planting a small sweet kiss on my cheek.

“I won’t let anything happen to you.”

It had to be the most sincere thing I’d heard in my life. I smiled at him and he smiled back at me before looking back out at the water. Slowly a small cheeky grin took over his face. It was cute and I couldn’t help but smile wider at him.

“What?” I asked, I could practically see the cogs turning in his mind.

“You can swim right?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

I wasn’t going to brag but swimming was a forte of mine. Something I’d just managed to pick up easier than most kids. I had been on the school swimming team for several years before giving it up when my interest turned to the Internet and boys
.
“Cool, let’s go swimming.”

“What?!”

He stood up swiftly pulling his shirt over his head as he did so. I was momentarily dumbfounded. Not only from his idea but the sight of his bare chest.I‘d seen him in tight fitting shirts but they had done him no justice. His whole chest was well toned and muscled. But not the extreme, he still looked natural. Like any other teenage boy who just played sport to looked after themselves. Though I had never really picked Riley to play sports. Maybe it was the army training that had buffed him up, whatever it was I was appreciative.

“You’re nuts,” I accused when I finally composed myself. “It’s cold and the waters probably freezing.”

He shrugged and continued to slide his boots of his feet, followed by his socks.

“So,” He replied. “It’ll be fun.”

“I still think your nuts…Good god, put your clothes back on!”

As I was speaking he had managed to flick his pants off in a graceful movement I could have never managed without falling on my face. Leaving him in nothing but a pair of baggy boxer shorts that looked to be a size to big.

“It’s not that cold,” He argued moving to the edge.

“It’s cold enough.”

“I didn’t have you pegged as a wuss.”

Before I could retaliate he jumped. I raised my hand before my face to protect my eyes from the sudden spray of sea water that jumped back up at me. The water was cold hit my exposed skin, it was cold. By the time I looked back down into the water he was surfacing.

“Cold?” I asked sarcastically.

He shook his head. “Not really…maybe at first.”

“I still think your nuts.”

“C’mon,” He argued trying to add a persuasive tone and failing. “I thought you were braver.”
I frowned at him and pulled a face. “I don’t want to get my clothes wet,” He opened his mouth. “Say it…I dare you.” I warned knowing exactly what was on his mind.

He laughed. “Well you only have to take your jeans off.”

“Oh I see how it is, just trying to get my pants off,” I joked.

He snorted. “I have better methods of getting your pants off, get in the water.”

“Charming,” I muttered but he was starting to sway me.

It had been so long since I’d just done something stupid and fun. For so long we’d had to be so careful and grown up. I wanted to just be a kid again and go swimming on the beach like I used to. Suddenly the air didn’t seem so cold. I glanced back down at him. He was looking up at me with wide puppy dogs eyes. I groaned and got to my feat, defeated. I heard him let out a laugh of accomplishment. I pulled my jumper off first. I had no intentions of getting as near-naked as he was but I wanted warm dry clothes to return to.

I pulled my broken sneakers off my feet. Then with a deep breath pulled my jeans down. He whistled, I flipped him the finger. Slowly I walked over to the edge, still in my shirt, and looked down. The height seemed a little more daunting now I intended to jump. No matter how many times I did this I still couldn’t get over that first initial fear. Before it could get to me anymore than it already had, I dived. Raising my arms over my head. I had the strange sensations of falling and waiting to hit the water which never seem to come. Then suddenly I was surrounded by the chill.

“Show off,” Riley claimed as I came back to the surface.

I poked my tongue out at him and swum closer. Already feeling the Goosebumps rise all over my skin. The water was beyond chilly, but it was even worse now if I went above it. The cold air on my wet skin was unbearably cold. So I stayed in the water even though I started to shiver. Riley must have noticed this because he swum over slowly and pressed himself against me. Whispering in my ear. The only word I heard over the sound of my heart pulsating in my ears was ‘warm’.

I felt his strong arms slowly wrap around me and pull me as close as we could possibly be while still treading water. It was awkward but I didn’t care. The feeling on his bare skin beneath my hands made up for it. I couldn’t help but run my hands down his firm chest. Not caring how it came across. He didn’t seem to mind. He returned the favor by running a single hand up my back, trailing my spine. My body arched as he reached the top. I couldn’t help it. His hands continue to roam around my upper torso while my body continued to re-act to him unconsciously.

I couldn’t put what happened next into words. Nothing could describe it. I didn’t go all the way with him, no further than I had been with any other boy in my life. But there was something about this one time that was a thousand times better.

Maybe it was because of my prior loneliness, Being deprived of this attention for so long, or maybe it was just Riley himself. Whatever it was it made me totally forget about the world around us. I was hesitant to come back to. The illusion we had created here was almost painful to leave but as the chill of the water started to sink into my bones we had to.

The swim back over to the ladder was almost painful and the climb back up said ladder was a feat in itself. My legs still felt like jelly. The cold air breathing on my wet skin didn’t help any. I stepped back into the dry jeans as quickly as possible. Glad to have them, dry and warm.

Then just as quickly I pulled my jumper over my shivering body and wrapped my arms around myself. Glad to be as hidden from the cold as I could manage. I turned around as Riley was pulling his shirt back on. He too was shivering but not to the same extent I was. I guess he had more muscle to keep him warm. He turned to face me as he pulled his jacket on and smiled at me. Almost falling over his untied laces as he tried to step closer a little too quickly.

“C’mon,” He said taking my hand. “I’ll take you home.”

I wasn’t going to turn down the offer. Not only because I didn’t want to part ways with him just yet. But I liked the security he provided walking around in the dark. I felt safe with him beside me. The monsters of the night held to threat with him around. We reached the road again much quicker than before and started the walk home. He must have noticed my shivering because he suddenly wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me closer. He was already warm again. I cuddled into his side. Walking awkwardly so I could stay there. He glanced up at the sky.

“Are you going to get in trouble for being out so late?” He asked.

“Only if I get caught.”

He choked on a laugh. “So you’re sneaking out to see me?” I nodded. “How cute.”

I rolled my eyes. “Not like I have a choice. My dad’s way too protective.”

“Probably a good thing these days,” He said seriously.

“Sometimes, I guess. But it gets annoying and he won’t let me out to see you.”

He smiled at me and sighed. “I don’t expect any different. With the way half these other guys behave.”

“I tell him you’re different, but he won’t believe me.”

We slipped back into a comfortable silence. After our rendezvous tonight. Words seemed so meaningless. Nothing about the way I felt about him could be expressed in words. So we continued our walk without a word and only the occasional squeeze of the hand or touch of the hips.

I became so relaxed in his warm hold I let my defenses slip. I let my heavy eyelids droop shut and my body slump a little. Letting him blindly lead me home.
It wasn’t until several minutes later when his body tensed up that I realized how stupid I was. There was no way I should have let myself relax out here. It was dangerous. Even with Riley beside me. I had to keep alert and ready to run at the first sign of trouble. I straightened up.

“What?” I questioned my voice a little hazy.

Riley was looking over his shoulder but glanced back at me.

“You guys don’t scout do you?”

“Not after nightfall,” I replied. “Why?”

“I think...I just seen someone behind us. But I don’t know.”

I turned and looked over my shoulder. But I couldn’t see anything. Nor could I spot anything creeping in the ominous shadows around the buildings. The thought that someone could be behind us made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Partnered by the chilly feeling of eyes upon me.

We continued to walk in silence but this time it wasn’t relaxing, it was tense. I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder every few minutes trying to spot who-ever Riley had seen. I tried to convince myself it had just been a deer or something. Maybe a trick of the light or his own fear playing with him. It could have been any number of things. Still the cold feeling stayed firmly on my back.

It felt like hours before we finally reached the hideout and my nerves were on end. I was glad to be back and safe. Riley glanced behind him before turning back to me. The stress lines across his face faded as he did. A small smile slowly took his features instead as he touched my cheek. I reached up and took his hand in mine.

“I’ll see you again soon,” He said. “Really soon.”

I smiled but he didn’t give me a chance to reply. He lent in and kissed me firm on the lips. Leaving them there for some time. I lent into him, enjoying the feeling of his lips on mine. He lingered for a little longer running his hand up my back slowly before he pulled away.

“Bye,” He whispered.

“Bye,” I sighed as he turned away.

He walked away slowly and I watched him every step of the way. He stopped before he turned the corner and looked back at me. Shot me one more cute smile and then disappeared into the night. I stood there a little longer, my knees suddenly feeling like jelly. Eventually I sighed opened the door behind me.

As quietly as possible. I slipped inside careful not to displace anything at my feet. I didn’t want to make a single noise and alert my father. Or anyone for that matter. I glanced up the stairs as I pulled the door shut behind me. Keep an eye out for any movement atop them. Behind me the door wouldn’t close. I turned around and tugged it again with all my might but to no avail. I frowned and tried to find the source of the problem. At first I thought there might have been some rubble or a rock stuck in the door-frame. But what I found made my stomach flip and tighten with fear. Fingers.

Human fingers were curled around the door itself, holding it open.