Code of Honor

The smell I woke to that next morning made me think I was in heaven. The sweet scent I partnered with my grandmother kitchen on a Sunday afternoon. I instantly started to salivate. I lifted my head and looked around trying to find the source of the sweet smell. At first I was disoriented by the concrete walls around me. It took me a moment to remember the events of the night before. I started to ache at the thought. I heard a movement beside me and turned around. Dimitri had his head lifted to. His first words mirrored my first thoughts.

“Did we die and do to heaven?”

“I think so, you smell that to?”

He nodded and carefully slipped out from beneath our shared blanket, Pulling it off me in the process. I didn’t bother pulling it back over myself, instead getting to my feet. My stomach rumbling and following the smell of food. Everyone was sitting in the main area, all around a small fire. Contained in the pit.

The smoke was rising and disappearing up into the ventilation shaft in the roof. This place had been very well built. At first the smell of the smoke brought back the memories of the night before and I felt myself choke on them and the panic but the temptation of food made it easier to fight through and push the thoughts aside. I sat down beside Dimitri studying a small bulk hanging above the fire. It was wrapped in a bag of some kind and every now and then some took the time to turn it slightly.

“What is it?” Dimitri asked. I wasn’t the only one staring at it.

Michael smirked at us. Dad replied. “Pork.”

“What?” I exclaimed. “As in a pig?”

Everyone laughed. “Yes Grace.”

“Where did we get that?” Dimitri asked.

“It was a part of the rations left here before the war,” Michael explained. “Most of which have already been taken. It was one of the last left behind. And probably one of the last of its kinds still okay to eat.”

“We’re smoking it first to be on the safe side,” Dad said. “But it’s a one hell of a treat,”

It would be the first piece of decent meat, or really food, we’d had in a very long time. Meat had become a thing of the past. Not only were we lacking most of the animals themselves but the risk of radiation was high. Or so we’d been led to believe. No one wanted to take the risk. And after so long surviving on the scraps of food left available to us this looked and smelt like heaven on a stick. We all turned back to watch it as my father spoke, our marching orders for the day.

“We’re laying low for the next few days, No one leaves unless it’s dire. But we have plenty to do around here first anyway. The whole place needs to be cleaned up, supplies need to be sorted and we need to figure out exactly what were short of.”

“I’ll try and get the computer up and running,” Michael said. “Might come up with some tweaking.”

“I can help out there,” Ben offered. “I was studying to be an I.T tech.”

“I can use all the help on offer,” Michael chuckled.

“Will it play solitaire?” I asked with a yawn.

“No. No Wi-Fi either” Michael laughed. “It’s not that type of computer.”

“Damn.”

“Don’t we have a deck of cards for that?” Billy asked.

“Takes too much effort to set it up,” I explained and he snorted.

Dad rolled his eyes, made no comment and moved to remove the meat from over the fire. Everyone sat up a little straighter. Carefully he and Jamison cut it open and started to divide it evenly amongst us all. It was only a small piece of meat, so once it was cut up there wasn’t much to go around. But that didn’t matter to anyone. It was something, something we had not had in a very long time and something to pick us up and help us forget the events of the night before.

We ate in silence, savoring every bite and every different taste. It had smelt so good while it had been cooking and I’d been so eager to take that first bite. But the more I ate the worse it made me feel. Right to the depths of my stomach. I didn’t know if it was the meat itself or just the fact my body wasn’t used to real food, but it started to taste sour. Maybe, a small voice in the back of my mind said, it’s because I was sitting here enjoying another meal when so many friends had died the night before and we’d moved on like nothing had happened. And it could have very well been my fault.

The thought had haunted my dreams all night. I had shown out hideout to a soldier. Two to be exact. I didn’t want to believe that either Riley or Aiden would do such a thing but the options were limited. I had shown our hideout to Riley the several times he had walked me back after our secret rendezvous, Aiden had been unintentional. He had followed me back. I couldn’t understand why either boy would do such a thing. Riley had nothing to gain by turning us in. unless it had been forced out of him. It was a possibility. Aiden had caught us sneaking around and followed us, it would have been just as easy for anyone else with a vendetta against us. It very well could another civilian trying to gain the esteem of the army. There was a lot to gain turning us in.

I knew Aiden never took being rejected well, but even this seemed beyond him. He knew what would happen to us if we were caught. And I liked to think he still cared enough to spare out lives. But again, he seemed to have no reservations about my safety the night he’d cornered me. It was likely he gone and turned us in, in a fit of jealously and drunken madness. No matter what way I looked at it, it continued to be my fault. Everyone else had been so careful, rarely leaving the hideout and only ever doing so with careful precision. While I had gone out and flaunted beneath the nose of the enemy. Just asking for it.

“Grace?”

I snapped out of my thoughts and glanced around. Everyone had moved around me. Leaving me sitting alone while they all started to work. I found Jamison sitting across the room from me, giving me a small smile.

“You okay darl?”

I nodded. “Yeah…just day-dreaming.”

He didn’t look like he believed me. “Why don’t you come over here and help me sort this stuff out.”

I got to my feet slowly. Stretching out my stiff legs as I did so. I sat beside him and looked over the stock of supplies we had remaining. There wasn’t much. A day or two’s supply of food, a couple of guns we had saved with only a couple of mags between them, a single container of water that looked somewhat questionable, a deck of cards, a few pencils and two jars of salt. I picked one up.

“Is this even any good to us?” I asked.

“Could be,” He replied flattening out a scrap piece of paper. “Not only is salt important to our diet, which these days we need everything we can get, But it will help us preserve food…and some people even believe salt helps prevent radiation poisoning.”

I frowned. “Is that true.”

“Technically no,” He chuckled. “It’s actually Iodine that can help. I’m not saying it does, but in some cases it works. What we want is Iodized salt…which I doubt that is. It’s most likely just sea salt.”

All this sounded somewhat familiar.

“We’ve had that before right? Iodine?”

He nodded. “Yes, when we can find it. It’s not easy to come by but again it’s good for the body and it also helps to keep our water drinkable.”

“So we should add it to the list?”

“Already have.”

“What are we going to do?” I muttered to him. “There was barely anything left before.”

He sighed sadly. “We’ll survive. We’ll find something…Maybe your army friend can let us know which supplied cache is unprotected again,” He joked.

I fell silent, not sure what to say. Right now I didn’t know if I’d ever see Riley again. My heart ached. Jamison noticed.

“What happened last night,” He said gently. “Was rough and upsetting on us all. But I can’t imagine what it must have been like for you kids…We can talk about it,” He offered. My voice caught in my throat. I didn’t want to talk about it. I wanted to push it into the depths of my mind and leave it there. I shook my head. I didn’t trust myself to open my mouth and not start crying. “I can see you’re all still a bit upset.”

“What if it was my fault,” I confided unable to help myself. I just wanted him to tell me it wasn’t.

“Whoa.” He put down what he was holding to look me in the eye. “What happened last night was no one’s fault Grace. We play a dangerous game. We’re always going to pay the price.”

“But we were hidden,” I exclaimed, feeling my throat close up. “And I let Riley see, and Aiden followed me…what if they went back and told.”

Jamison shook his head dismissively. “Do you really think this friends of yours, Riley, would do this to you…to us?”

I shook my head. I didn’t want to believe he would.

“Then I don’t think he did.”

“But….”

“Grace, you’re the last person I’d expect to make bad character judgments. It’s something you seem to have a knack for. If you trusted him enough to let him see where we were…than he was safe. There are people we initiate into the group and turn us in…and nearly every time you were right in saying they weren’t trustworthy.”

“But what about Aiden?”

“The boy that had you that night?” He asked starching his chin. Stubble was starting to poke through again. I nodded.

“It’s not your fault he followed you back Grace,” He told me. “It could have happened to any one of us and as far as we know could have. We also took in Michael and Lizzy, that threw a spanner into the works. It’s very possible that heli spotted us that night and they planned the attack for days before hand….your too much like your father,” He sighed.

“What?” I asked, a smile breaking through. I couldn’t help it. I liked being compared to him.

“You find a way to put every situation on your own shoulders and blame yourself. Cameron’s been turning himself inside out since it happened. Blaming himself for everything he did and didn’t do. What happened was nobody’s fault but those who set the fire.”

“I guess,” I sighed feeling slightly better. Maybe he was right. “Thanks.”

He smiled at me. “Anytime.”

“Did you ever have kids?” I asked.

“Yes,” He replied without hesitation, though I seen the paid flash in his eyes. “I had three girls. Two in high school and one in university across the country. I know my two youngest are gone…but Tiffany. For all I know she’s still alive.”

“Wow,” I sighed gently. I’d had no idea.

“Cameron likes to tell me that we’ll find her one day, like he found you. But I’m not sure I can have that type of faith.”

“Did I hear my name?” Dad asked coming up behind me suddenly.

“Talking about you, not to you,” I replied with a grin.

“How are we going for supplies?” Dad asked Jamison.

“Very short,” He replied. “All around. We have little to no medical supplies, a maybe a few days worth of food if we ration hard.”

“We only need enough for tomorrow, then we’ll head out. Did you make up a basic list?”

“Yes,” Jamison replied handing it over. “Might be easier to split everyone up. Cover more ground and we’ll be harder to spot.”

“I was thinking the same thing,” Dad replied glancing over the list. “This everything?”
“Maybe an assistant while we’re at it,” He joked.

“What she didn’t tell you? I would have thought you’d jump on the opportunity Grace.”

“Dad,” I groaned.

“What?”

Dad smiled and looked at Jamison. Motioning to me. “Always wanted to be a nurse or a doctor of some kind.”

“Really,” Jamison smiled at me. I shrugged.

“Started out when we went to the circus when she was about eight I think. Decided she was going to be a lion doctor,” He grinned. I had slight memories of that. “But when our youngest was born, we had to spend a lot of time in the hospital. She as sick for some time. Thought we were going to lose her. It was about then Grace decided she was going to be a people doctor instead.”

“I was never smart enough for it,” I argued and they both raised their eyebrows at me.

“You also never tried very hard,” Dad added.

“Well,” Jamison answered. “It won’t hurt to have someone with some medical know-how these days. God knows I won’t be here forever.”

“Probably a good idea, if she’s up for it?”

He was right. I had always had an interest in being nurse or doctor of some kind. But it was also something I never put a lot of thought into. I always seemed to have more important things on my mind. This seemed like a good time to start, I wanted to help and Jamison was right. Medical expertise was very rare these days. It would be a good thing for me to have. And not only for my own well being.

“I’m up for it,” I replied quickly. “If you want to put the time into teaching me.”

“Luckily times something we have a lot of,” Jamison smiled.

My first lesson came ten minutes later and came in the form of burn treatment. While we had been lucky to escape with our lives last night there still were some injuries to attend to. Jamison took this as a chance to teach me. Burns were a very common place injury, though not always to this extent. He said experience was the best teacher so those who were willing became my guinea pigs under Jamison’s watchful eye. It filled the rest of the afternoon and into the night. I was eager to learn so Jamison kept teaching until it felt as though my brain had melted.

The next few days were much of the same. We spent our days cleaning and getting our new hideout into order. Calculating exactly what we were going to need so we could spend as little time as possible in the open. It was better if we left knowing exactly what we were looking for instead of aimlessly wandering until we were shot. Then in the afternoon’s when everything had settled Jamison sat down with me and continued to teach me everything he could. Mostly to begin with it was all basic first aid and diagnosis. The foundations of everything he wanted to teach me.

It was on the third morning that we officially ran out of food. There wasn’t even a scrap left behind. My father no longer had a reason to keep us inside. A part of me worried that he’d make us younger ones stay behind even though we were shorthanded. And for a moment it looked like he was going to, until both Michael and Jamison put us into the equation and left him no choice. With a heavy sigh, he paired the three of us up again and handed us a single gun to protect one another.

“Be careful,” He said glancing momentarily at me. “I’ll leave it open for you guys. Bring back whatever you find, food, water, trade items, you know the drill.”

We all nodded and sat in wait while he handed out instructions to everyone else. Then one by one, with about five minutes in between collected a bag and headed up into the real world. We were the third to head off, and before I could walk out the door my father wrapped a single arm around my shoulders, hugged me and kissed me on the forehead.

“Be careful.”

I nodded, unsure how else to answer, and slowly followed the boys upstairs. Slinging the bag over my shoulder as we went. We climbed up into the old empty building and carefully stepped outside. Checking every corner and edge of the horizon within our view. The world was deserted. Still we walked on keeping a vigilant eye out. It was something I still had a hard time getting used to. I wasn’t used to watching over my shoulder all the time and it wasn’t a habit that came easily to any of us.

“Where would we even start?” Dimitri sighed as we walked.

I shrugged. “I have no idea.”

“I think we start small,” Billy said. “It’s less likely the smaller shops have been completely raided.”

With this new idea in mine. We started walking down the street, towards the lower end of the city. Though I didn’t expect us to find much. This late in the game, everything had been raided and stolen from. There wasn’t much left of anything to take. Even after a few hours of looking, we were coming up empty handed. Aside from a few minor things we could use to trade. Disheartened, we headed back towards the new hideout. Not liking the idea of going back with nothing.

The boys, behind me, were too busy discussing the logistics of a full out raid on whatever army supplies we could find stored throughout the city. So they didn’t notice me slyly leading them in another direction. Towards the hideout, but on a longer route. I wanted to pass the newsagent Riley and I used to pass notes. It had been a long time since I’d checked, and deep down. I was begging for him to provide and answer to what happened to us, that didn’t incriminate him.

“What are we doing here?” Billy asked eventually as we turned into the street. I was hoping he wouldn’t notice.

“She needs to check for some love letters from her boyfriend,” Dimitri joked. He had already been on this trip with me before. I scowled at him.

Billy laughed out loud. “Really, what do they say….”

The subject between them changed from a raid to my letters and their suspicions to what they entailed. I pointedly ignored them and whatever they were saying. I didn’t want to know, nor did I want to suffer the embarrassment. But while they were distracted I disappeared into the building and checked the tin box for any letter’s. There were three. All three were on scrap bits of paper, and messily written, in haste.

I pocketed them quickly and went back out to catch up with the boys, who were almost at the end of the street. They had been too distracted to notice my disappearance. Figures. I ran to catch up with them and hung back so I could read Riley’s notes in some privacy. Confident the boys were too distracted in their own chatter to question me. It wasn’t hard to put the notes in order.

‘They’ve found you, they’re planning to attack asap. Hide.’

If only I had found this one earlier. He had tried to warn us. The messages on the other two letters held more emotion, fear. I could see it in his messy desperate writing.

‘Let me know your alright’

‘Grace, please let me know if you’re alright’

A apart of me wished there was some way of contacting him. He had tried to warn me of the attack. No doubt he had found his own letter, untouched, when he went back to leave the others. For all he knew I was dead alongside the others in that building. I glanced back over my shoulder contemplating running back to leave him a note of some kind, but Billy cut me off and the thought faltered.

“Where to now guys, I don’t want to go back empty handed.”

“What about up Capital Avenue?” I asked. “By the train station. There are a lot of food shops through there.”

One of the main ways into the center of the city was by train, and all the trains stopped at the Capital Avenue at some point before heading back out of the city. Making it one of the more populated food and shopping areas of the city.

“Worth a try,” Billy yawned. “We have to keep an eye out for stuff to trade to.”

Trade was something we were starting to depend on, and something in these later days that was starting to become an economy in itself. But anything we had worth trading had been lost among everything else in the fire. So we had to re-stock before we could trade for anything of value. It didn’t take us long to find our way down the main street and across to Capital Avenue. We stopped outside the train station and tried to find our bearings and a place to start.

“Left or right?” Billy asked glancing in either direction.

It looked to be safe in both directions but that could be deceiving. We had no idea what was waiting around the next corner, or around the next block.

“Rock, paper, scissors,” Dimitri decided. “I win we go left, you win we go right.”

They readied their hands to play but I had other ideas.

“Do you think anyone’s tried in there?”

“Where,” Dimitri frowned.

“The train station.”

He glanced up at the building. Looking straight at the barricaded gates as I was. A long thick chain kept the gates locked. It had been opened and closed up a few times since the war. The first time was due to a lack of fuel. Most of America’s oil had come through export, which when war broke out, didn’t last long.

It was starting to become a lacking resource as it was. No one wanted to share it with an enemy. So we fell back on our own supply but it didn’t last long and soon we were down to nothing but emergency supplies. It wasn’t long before it became impossible to buy. What was left was used to fuel emergency vehicles, food deliveries to now starving populations and to keep our defense on the move. For us, this meant no transport at all, nothing to cook with and no heating. It was another cause to everything falling apart.

The train had used the last of their fuel to move supplies of food across the country to places that seriously needed it. At the time we were deemed okay and passed over before the trains came back to rest in their stations. Unmoving replicas of a time passed. The station had been opened twice since then. Once for an army supply drop, the other as an evacuation point. It had remained closed up ever since. Which struck a chord with me. It had been locked up for so long, there was a chance there was still something of value inside. If we could get in there. Billy was on the same length I was.

“How would we even get in there?”

Dimitri frowned and wandered off down the side of the building. Between the building itself and a tall concrete barrier that separated the Avenue from the one ramp to the freeway. Billy and I followed, staying a few feet back to keep an eye on the street behind us.

“There’s a maintenance door back here, but it’s all locked up…do you think we could get in from the other side?”

“Maybe. But how would we get on the other side?” Billy asked sarcastically.

Dimitri smirked and walked back towards us. I didn’t like the look on his face, it promised trouble. When we were back outside the main gates into the train station. He pointed upwards. Towards a gap between the roof of the arch-way and the thick metal gates that closed the building off from the outside world.

“No way,” I sighed. “No one can fit through that.”

They both looked at me and it finally clicked. “Oh no.”

“You’re the only one that can fit.”

“There’s no way I’m going in there alone…or climb up there for that matter.” Maybe at some point it would have been possible. But since the gates had been covered over with thick pine boarding to keep people out, I didn’t think it would be an easy task.

“We’ll give you a foot up, c’mon Grace. It was your idea to look in there,” Dimitri argued.

“No,” I said firmly. There was no way I was going in there in the dark alone. God only knew what was on the other side. For all we knew it was inhabited by crazy nomads…or zombies.

“We can’t make her if she doesn’t want to,” Billy said sweetly. “But we’ll bag the hell out of her for the next six months for being such a girl.”

I frowned at him. “I am a girl.”

“And a wuss apparently.”

“Assholes,” I groaned. Giving in. I’d rather the zombies.

They snickered at each other behind my back and moved up, standing in front of the gate. Billy laced his fingers and lowered them down for me. Poised to give me a foot up. Trying to shake off the anxiousness I put my foot into the cup of his hand and reached up for the top of the gate. With Dimitri’s hands supporting my back Billy lifted me up until I could easily reach the top of the gate and curl my fingers around it.

“Now throw you other leg over,” Billy instructed. “Straddle it.”

“You should be good at that,” Dimitri piped in. I distinctly heard the sound of a high five.

“Fuck...you,” I replied pulling myself up to sit on top of the gate. My head lowered to an almost painful position to avoid knocking it on the roof of the gate-way.

“Is there anything in there?”

From what I could make out in the darkness, there wasn’t much of anything. Trains were docked and dusty in long lines across the whole section of platforms. There were several stores and booth fronts along the walls, but they were all securely closed up. The only signs of its past as an evacuation point and drop off were the empty crates littering the floor. Other than that it looked like it had every other time I had been here pre-war. Just a lot emptier.

“I can’t see, it’s dark,” I replied. “It looks empty.”

“Go around and open that maintenance door,” Dimitri said. “It should unlock from that side.”

I glanced back into the darkness of the building. My stomach tightened. I didn’t like this. The place seemed to quiet and desolate and from experience that was a breeding ground for trouble. But I also knew I couldn’t let myself be afraid of the dark anymore. Weather I liked it or not, times were different and I had to grow up.

Pushing my fear to the back of my mind I pulled my other leg over the gate and carefully lowered myself down as far as I could before letting go. Once inside I had to stop and think, trying to map put where the maintenance door had been on the outside and trying to match it inside. I concluded I had to go to the right, and thankfully there was little on that side. A few food booths lined across the last and largest platform, and on the end a set of toilets. I took this as a promising sign and followed the signs inside.

It was darker in here. There was no windows to provide any light. It reminded me of the long hallways I took into the Mall to see Riley. I pushed on before my imagination could make up anymore monsters hiding in the corners. I stumbled through the hallway feeling and trying to make out the door-frames along the way. Pushing and pulled until I fell through into the bathrooms and an office. When the doors were locked, I knocked a few times and waited for a reply. It took a while but eventually someone knocked back. I fumbled around the handle of the door until I found the locking mechanism and poked at it until I heard it click open.

“Told ya’ it would work,” Dimitri bragged as the door swung open.

Billy rolled his eyes and smiled at me. “Thought we might have to leave you behind.”

“Good luck going back,” I snorted. “My dad would have your head first.”

“Point taken, anything good in here.”

We stumbled our way back into the main section the train station where there was more lighting and we had a better chance of finding anything. I didn’t doubt there was something valuable to us hidden back there but in the dark we weren’t going to find it. We decided to start from one side and work our way across the. If anything of any value had been left behind here we were going to find it.

Our first target was an abandoned booth that had once provided snacks. It didn’t take long for the boys to jimmy the roller window up so they could climb inside. I stood on the other side of the counter with the bag. It was too small in there for all three of us. Instinctively they checked the taps first and as luck would have it. There was water left in the pipes. It was more than likely stale by this point but beggars cant be choosers. Dimitri emptied every last drop into a container before passing it over to me. The first addition to our bag.

“All the food in here is rotten,” Billy informed us kicking the freezer door shut.

He turned to where two large deep fryers took up the whole left side counters. While Dimitri continued to scrounge about, Billy took the lids off and peeked inside.

“Bingo!” He exclaimed a smirk taking his features. “Pass us another one of those containers girl.”

After the supplies of oil and diesel ran out, the government quickly initiated research to find another way to fuel everything. Of course we were all left out of this equation. They wanted to fuel their cars and airplanes. And rumor had it cooking oil was a valued part of their research. I was told it was the ethanol they wanted out of it, which they could use as a fuel source. These rumors were helped along by the traders, we scraped up the oil, they traded us food and water for it, then traded the oil to the army for whatever they wanted. The government was willing to pay the price at the moment. The single container we could collect here would feed us for a few weeks.

We continued along the platforms. Collecting anything of value. We weren’t lucky enough to come across anything as valuable as the oil we had found but we did manage to find some things. Some bottles of water that had been stashed in the back of a fridge, a first aid kit, a few cans of food and three jars of rock candy in the corner store. They weren’t worth much as a meal, but sometimes just having something to suck on helped eased the hunger when you had nothing else to eat.

Other than that we had found a lot of scrap to trade, Books, bits of metal and cloth, computer parts we had ripped out of anything mechanical. Intact for apart they were worth something. Someone could recycle them or the small bits of gold, silver and copper were useful to someone. Making them an ideal item for trade. By the time we had finished picking up all the scraps that been left behind, our bag was full. Mostly, we had collected things to trade but that was slowly becoming the best way to get food.

We were on a high, it was inevitable. We’d collected so much stuff that would help out. It felt good to do something for once. We snuck back out they way we had came in. Closing the door behind us but not locking it. If we wanted to come back in the future we didn’t want what treasure we’d left behind to be taken before we could take it. Still bouncing off the walls and off each other we headed back around to the front of the building. Where we ran into two familiar and very bemused faces.

“Do you three want to keep it down,” Dad said. Slinging a bag over his shoulder. “We could hear you a mile away.”

“Nice shirt,” I countered, changing the subject.

Clothing didn’t last forever. So occasionally we would hit up an old clothes store and change our old torn and dirty clothes, for new ones. My father had finally replaced the dirty red shirt he had been wearing for the longest time. Now he was wearing a dark blue New England Patriots shirt. Where he would have found such a thing I had no idea, but if anyone was going to find one. It would be my father.

He ignored my comment. “Did you kids find anything?”

“Heaps,” I answered.

“Mostly trading stuff though,” Bill went on opening the bag for the men to peek inside.

Dad nodded his head in approval. Michael asked. “How did you get in there?”

“We threw Grace in over the gate and made her find a door to let us in,” Dimitri summarized. Dad raised his eyebrows at him.

“There so mean to me,” I sighed. “Where to now?”

“We’re heading back,” Dad replied. “You can come with us, I think you’ve done more than your share.”

“Did you guys find anything?” I inquired as we started to walk.

“A few things, some food,” Dad replied. “But it’s getting a lot harder to find. Which is why the trade things you guys found will come in handy.”

“We met up with my trader,” Michael said. “His willing to trade with us as long as it’s kept on the down low. He supplies some soldiers to and if they found out he was helping us they’d kill him.”

“And he can give us food?” I asked. Michael nodded.

“Food, water, guns and ammo, the lot. He deals with the army too so his well stocked and willing to take whatever we have to offer.”

“If we shelter him occasionally” Dad added, hesitation in his voice. He didn’t sound happy about it.

“His trustworthy Cameron,” Michael re-assured.

Dad didn’t answer him and decided on a sounder tactic. He changed the subject. “I just want to have a quick look in here before we head back.”

Michael frowned but followed along anyway. As always the three of us followed along without hesitation. My father’s attention was turned towards an old fuel station. It had long been closed down and locked up, even before the war. But it showed the signs of people breaking in several times over. The windows were broken and the door was off its hinges. I didn’t think anything would be left behind, but my father seemed intent on checking it out so we climbed inside. Careful of the broken glass littering the floor.

The place was deserted but I had expected no less. We followed Michael and my father across the small station and into the back room. Where everything was once stored. My expectations of finding anything here lowered again when I noted that everything in the room had been turned over and almost destroyed.

“What are you looking for Cameron?” Michael asked mimicking all our thoughts.

“What was your friend saying? About water being stored in one of these places.”

“Oh,” Michael replied, realization taking all his features. “I think he meant the one out on the highway.”

Dad sighed in disappointment. “Well, it won’t hurt to check anyway and make sure. You kids keep watch.”

Michael must have agreed because he instantly started looking around like my father was. I had no idea what they were looking for exactly but I assumed stored water wouldn’t be too hard to find in a place so small. I left the boys to keep watch and pulled open a few cupboards, but found nothing but dust and rubbish. I moved onto the next one. Not expecting to find much else.

“Guys,” Billy called out suddenly, his voice strained.

I stood up and turned around. To be hit with the sudden realization, we were not alone.
Behind us a group of men had entered the building after us. There was six of them, all with guns. It was obvious they weren’t army but they were trying to be by the looks of it. Somehow they had managed to obtain flak jackets and wore them like their lives depended on it. Also, they were giving off a serious redneck vibe. I moved quickly from their line of sight and like the child I was, hid behind my father. The boys stepped back as well as the men moved into the room, blocking off the only exit. My father’s hand tightened around the handle of his rifle.

“We’ve got claim here,” one said firmly. He looked pissed off.

“Fine,” My father said. “We’ll move on.” He wanted to avoid the fight. We all did. We were outnumbered. He started to make a move and I stuck close to his back.

“Wait,” the one at the front said quickly. Dad stopped. “Ignore him , we might be able to help each other out, we’re all on the same side here.”

I didn’t like the sly tone of his voice. Neither did dad.

“How so?” He asked slowly.

“You guys disagree with the army,” He concluded motioning to the bands around our wrists. “We all do, why else do we do this but to shoot them in the back.”

Some groups had a reputation for violence. They were one of them from what I could gather so far. Dad didn’t answer.

“Anyway,” The man went on undeterred. “A whole lot of us, not just our group here, we’re going to make a move on their base.”

“Why,” My father questioned. The tone of his voice made me want to laugh. It sounded like he was questioning if they were stupid.

“From what I heard the last people who tried that didn’t get off so easy,” Michael added.

The man shrugged. “We wanna prove a point. Take what we deserve and break some shit in the process. Throw a riot!” He sounded excited. “Make them remember were here. Do you guys want in? We could use some more gun power.”

“No.”

“No?” He questioned as if we were the idiots.

“It’s the stupidest idea I’ve heard in a long time,” My father told him. “All you’re going to get is shot.”

He still wasn’t deterred. “We’ve got a lot of people backing us. We can take them!”

“So do they,” Dad sighed. “Not to mention the guns and ammo they have over you.”

“Fine,” He snapped. He didn’t sound please. “We don’t need you pussys.”

“I think you’d be best to re-consider the whole thing,” Dad said.

“No, we’re going to make a stand. And as far as we’re concerned right now you’re trespassing on our property.”

“You’re property,” Michael mimicked.

“Yeah,” Another butted in. “We’ve got claim here.”

“Since when….” Michael started then just shook his head muttering under his breath.

“We’ll leave,” Dad said firmly.

“How about you give us sweetheart here and we’ll call it fair,” One said, smirking at me.

The way his eyes moved across me made me feel dirty. Like nothing but a piece of meat. The rest of them were looking at me the same way. I side-stepped to hide behind my dad. His arm reached back and held me there.

“Touch her and it will be the last thing you ever do.”

They all laugh and cooed. They weren’t taking his threat seriously. Even as he had spoken, a serious tone to his voice I was grabbed from behind. I jumped and scrambled to hide behind my father. Who didn’t need to be told what had happened, he just knew. He spun around in the few seconds it took me to hide behind him.

His strong laborer’s hand shot out and grabbed the man by the scruff of his shirt. I heard it rip. The man was tiny compared to my father, with bird like features and a lazy lower lip. He looked terrified. My father had been a laborer his whole life, it only took him a single hand to hold with up against the wall…and minimum effort. The rest of his group reacted quickly, lifting their guns and staring down my father. Our friends readied to defend ourselves.

“Dude,” the small man in my father grip stuttered, fearful. “I was just kidding around.”

“I said not to touch her,” Dad reminded him tightly. Tightening his hand around the man’s throat.

One of his red-neck friends stepped forward with his gun poised, and as always Jamison stepped forward to calm and volatile situation. Someone had to before this got out of control.

“Cameron, Let him go,” Jamison said carefully putting his hand on dad’s shoulder. Then he turned to face the other group of men, leaving his hand tight on my father’s shoulder. “We’ll move on before this get’s any further out of hand.”

The red-neck leader looked to mull this over for a moment. He knew they outnumbered us nearly two to one. But as I noted before, when my father felt the need to protect his children. He could get a little scary. The man seemed to notice this and the look on my father’s face. Not one he wanted to go up against. No matter how many guns he had.

“Fine,” He huffed. “Move on.”

Jamison tugged on my father’s shoulder and made him follow him outside. I stuck close by feeling the eyes of all the men in the room upon me. Their filthy gazes just made me want to hide somewhere. Away from all their prying eyes. When we were safely outside the building my father pulled me in front of him, keeping me close and himself between me and the other men. I could feel him shaking with rage.

No one dared to speak a word on the way back. We walked in dead silence all the way. When we made it back my father rounded me inside first and followed me down the stairs and into the hideout. Where he finally left my personal proximity, storming off to the other side of the hideout and disappearing into his room. I followed the boys over to where everyone else was sitting, oblivious to the tension the rest of us felt. Jamison detoured to lean over my shoulder.

“Are you okay Grace,” He asked gently.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I replied. I felt a lot better now there and distance between us and the red-neck gang. “Is dad alright?”

Jamison squeezed my shoulder gently. “Cameron quite a scare to. He had to face a reality he tries hard to ignore. You’re a young girl and unfortunately that’s a terribly dangerous thing in these times.”

I knew this. It was something I had to be aware of quickly if I wanted to survive. I knew this was a hard fact for my father to face. With one more encouraging smile, Jamison walked away. Following my father’s tracks to the room they shared in the back end of the hideout.
I watched them go and wrestled with the temptation to follow. I wanted to make sure my dad was alright. But I also knew from experience that it was best to give him his space when he was like this.

Sighing, and deciding I was tired after the days the events I got to my feet and wandered over to the room I shared with the boys. Curling up under our mess of blankets I struggled to find some warmth. Needing a distraction, so not to dwell on the cold, I pulled Riley’s notes from my pocket and re-read them several times. I should have left him something I concluded. Nothing in his notes made me believe he had anything to do with what had happened to us. He had tried to warn me before-hand. Maybe, a small voice spoke up, the information had been forced out of him and he was trying to redeem himself. I didn’t want to think about it, I just wanted to see him and find out for sure. Yawning, I rolled over.

Tonight, tonight I would go see him.