Code of Honor

Sneaking out of this new hideout was going to be a feat in itself. I laid in bed for at least an hour first, trying to figure out the logistics of such an escape. Around me the rest of the group was deep in their sleep. I had fallen asleep long before them, I wasn’t even the slightest bit tired now. But alas, sneaking out of this hideout was going to take some skill. It used to be so easy since the places never really had doors to begin with. This one screeched when it opened. Not all that loudly but when the surrounding area was dead quiet. I didn’t believe I’d get away too easily.

Even though the whole thing seemed like it was destined to fail before it even began. I got to my feet and very carefully sneaked across the room, and out across the main section of the hideout. This hideout did have its pluses; at least I didn’t have to walk across sleeping bodies to escape.

I put my hand on the cold door-handle, and very gently pulled. At the first screech made by the door dragging across the floor, I stopped. Almost stumbling into the door in my haste. I stopped and waited, listening hard, but there was no noise.

I assumed everyone was still asleep. I gave the door one last fleeting tug, opening it just enough for myself to slip my small form in between it and the door frame. Being small had its advantages’. Carefully I closed the door behind me, and thankfully it didn’t make a sound. Finally letting myself breath again, I hopped up the stairs quickly.

It was cold out, unseasonably cold. I wrapped my arms around myself tempted to go back inside and curl back underneath my blankets. I pushed the thought on. I’d already made it this far, I couldn’t go back now. Another plus to our new hideout was its proximity to the Mall. It was the closet one we’d had so far. So thankfully I was only stuck walking in the chilly night air for a few blocks.

As per usual, there were no signs of life around. Other than the life given to the litter by the wind, floating around my legs. I pulled the hood of my jumper up over my head in my attempt to block out some of the wind. It didn’t work. Groaning internally I pushed on, chanting in my head ‘it’s not that far’. I’d never had the greatest tolerance for the cold. My chanting was quickly broken when without warning a piece of newspaper wrapped itself around my leg, distracting me form the cold for a minute. I leant down to pick it up, it was the front page of the local paper.

24/7/2015 - Wall-Street Goes Bust, Economists Warn of Hard Time Ahead.

I remembered that day. I’d come downstairs to my parents watching the news intently. The countries economy, which in all honestly was already going down the drain, had finally collapsed. After years of inconsistent highs and lows. But this low had been given a special helping hand. Hundreds of thousands of counterfeit dollars had inflated our economy.

Causing it to collapse. At first it had been slyly and quietly introduced into the system, before long, it might as well have been dropping from the sky. I don’t think we’d ever know who really did it. Many people and terrorist groups took claim but it was never confirmed. At the time, we’d made a lot of enemies who had a lot to gain from America dropping out of the war. So they hit the home shores, were our army wasn’t.

It was an old tactic. One I’d heard of before on a television special. During WW2, Nazi Germany had perfectly created £134,610,810 worth of British currency. Using Jewish Sachsenhausen Concentration Camp prisoners, mathematicians, accountants, master forgers, anyone with the experience was recruited under the promise of their lives. The plan had been to drop the notes over London. Inflating the economy and causing an economic collapse. But due to a lack of planes and the Soviet and Allied forces closing in, the majority of the forged currency never made it to England.

We weren’t so lucky. The collapse of our already frail economy was the last straw, and the first in a long line of events that would send the country spiraling. Rioting ensued here only days after the collapse. For nearly three days the whole city was out of control. The police force was to small and overwhelmed by the sheer force of the riots.

My father kept us all home for those frightening days. Keeping watch over the locked doors with his rifle. What had started in the city was slowly spreading out into the suburbs. Even today the signs of the rioting were still there. On every wall and in every broken window. Nothing had really been repaired before the bombs dropped.

I sighed, scrunching the paper up in both hands. I didn’t need the reminder. I remember these days perfectly. Fear could do that, engrave a memory so deep you can never forget. I tried hard to push those thoughts from my head and took the usual route. Around the back and snuck in a maintenance door, and walked quietly through the mall itself. Keeping my ears strained for any noise that could hint of any incoming danger. All I could hear were birds, nesting in all the nooks and cranny’s the abandoned building had to offer. The only signs of a fleeting spring.

“Grace.”

I jumped and looked up. He was at the top of the stairs waiting for me. A relived, lop-sided, grin on his face and a spark in his eyes. at first I couldn’t find it in myself to grin back, but the longer I looked at him I could no longer help it.

“You’re alright?” he breathed.

“Yeah,” I mumbled. “I got lucky.” Without meaning to, my tone held a lot of weight.

“I didn’t tell them where you were,” He defended.

I didn’t say anything. I wanted to believe him, I was so close.

“You know I wouldn’t…not after everything.”

“No your right,” I sighed. Hearing him say it was the last bit of proof I needed. I believed him.

“I’m sorry…it’s just…hard.”

“It’s fine,” he said gently taking the first few steps down. “I get it.”

I skipped up the last few stairs and met him at the top. Where he promptly took my in his strong arms and held me tight against him. Just the simple smell and feel of him sent me spiraling. All the memories and feelings of our last meeting rushed me. I could have sworn I could smell the salt water again.

“I’m just so happy your okay,” He sighed, pulling back slightly. “Did you get my notes?”

“Not until today,” I admitted. “We’ve been kinda lying low, I didn’t get the chance to check.”

He frowned, his eyes darkening. “Probably a good idea. They’ve been looking for you, they know some of you got out.”

“We almost didn’t…total dumb luck.”

“I just wish I had more time to warn you,” he replied as we walked hand in hand back to our little spot in the store. “I only found out what was going to happen an hour before hand. I almost got caught trying to send you that first message.”

“Do you have any idea how they found us?” I asked. He shrugged.

“No idea, I heard something about Intel from a reliable source, but I don’t know where from exactly. Others are saying they found you on recon…I have no idea.”

“Thanks,” I mumbled as he held the door up for me. “Well, there isn’t much we can do about it now,” I sighed.

Hearing the desolate tone of my voice he reached out and took my face in his hands. Looking down at me through loving eyes. My heart swooned.

“You’re safe,” He said. “That’s all that matters.”

He led me over to our spot on the bed in the middle of the store. Where he promptly fell onto it and closed his eyes. Only opening them when I crawled into the bed. I laid on my stomach, closed my eyes and sighed. Loving the feeling of a comfortable mattress beneath me. It had been a long time. Beside me I felt Riley’s weight shift on the bed, closer to me, until I could just barely feel his body on mine. His fingers lightly tracing patterns across my back. I grinned lazily.

“What are you drawing?” I questioned. I could feel some pattern emerging.

“Guess,” He teased.

I sighed. Remembering this game from the depths of my childhood. “A house?”

He laughed. “Nope.”

“Am I close?”

“Nope.”

“Uhh…A person?”

“Nope.”

“A severely deformed person?”

He laughed hard. “No. It was a cat.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yes,” he laughed. His weight dropped on the bed, his arm relaxed across my back.

I opened my eyes and was met with his. Only an inch from mine. I remember when we had been so awkward around each other. Now we couldn’t seem to get close enough to one another, or quick enough. I pulled my arm free from underneath my body and reached up to touch the skin of his face. Only just noticing a small bruise forming underneath his left eye.

“What happened to your eye?” I questioned. Touching the sore gently.

He reached up to take my hand and apply a little more pressure.

“Your hands are cold,” He smiled. “And that…no big deal.”

I frowned at him. “I don’t fall for that. Tell me.”

He measured me for a moment, and decided I wasn’t lying. “I got in a fight…but its fine. He came off worse.” A small smirk formed on his lips.

“I’ve heard that one before,” I sighed.

“You’ve had guys duke it out over you before, shouldn’t surprise me,” He grinned.

I rolled my eyes. “No. I mean every time a guy gets in a fight, the other one always came of worse. Anyway, what do you mean by that…”

“What?” He asked innocently. I wasn’t that stupid.

“I get the feeling I know what you were implying with that last, ‘duke it over you before’, comment…you’d you duke it out with Riley?” That wiped the smile off his face.

“Nothing slips by you, does it?” He questioned hesitantly.

“Nope.” I grinned.

“You really don’t want me to get into this,” He warned. My curiosity spiked.

“I think I do,” I replied slowly.

He sighed. “Aiden Burns.”

“Aiden? You fought with Aiden over me?” He nodded slowly. “Why?” I asked dumbfounded.

“He corner me the other night,” He explained. “The night after our last get together, I had no idea what he was on about. He just started yelling and trying to hit me…I think he was drunk. Anyway all I could get out of it was that it had something to do with you and me and in some roundabout way him. I don’t know, I kinda stopped trying to make sense of it when he landed the first punch.”

I groaned and rolled over onto my back. I should have seen this coming after what Aiden had pulled that night. He showed all the signs of jealousy and that never went down well with Aiden. He got what he wanted.

“Aiden was an old family friend,” I explained to Riley. Deciding he deserved to know what he was up against. “We grew up together on camping trips…he was like a brother to me. And that was always fine with him…but in the last few months, the few times I’ve seen him, it’s like he wants more. But I don’t.”

Riley nodded along, a frown on his face. I went on, assuming he understood. “That night, after we were together, he followed us back to our hideout and ambushed me out the front.” Riley sat up slightly.

“Did he hurt you,” He asked firmly. I recognized that protective glint, I was so used to seeing in my father, in his eyes.

“No, Well, he tried but I wouldn’t give and thankfully Jamison interfered. I’m fine really,” I added quickly “But he didn’t take it well. He wanted me to pick him over you.”

Very slowly Riley seemed to calm down and lay back down beside me. A small frown still playing on his lips. “Well,” he sighed. “At least I know why I got hit…asshole. Knew I should have let him have it.”

I chuckled and reached up to touch his face in a calming gesture. “It’s alright, there’s always tomorrow.”

He laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind. You won’t get upset if I hit him? He is a friend to you.”

“Not anymore,” I replied slowly. “He pushed the point.”

Riley reached up to take my hand in his and hold it, tangling his long fingers around mine.

“If he ever upsets you again, I’ll deal with him.”

“How sweet,” I joked and lifted my head up. He grinned at me, catching my drift and lowered his lips down to mine.

It was the loud smashing of the door that pulled us apart. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I knew it demanded some panic. I sat up quickly, so did Riley, and looked around for the source of the noise. We’d been found out but unfortunately not by the army or a gun wielding manic. Someone much, much worse. It was my father who was storming towards us. Pure fury on his face. I was dead. I scrambled to my feet almost falling over in the process. Unlike me, poor Riley did not get the chance to brace himself for what was coming before my father was upon us.

“What the hell are you doing!”

Riley jumped to his feet much more swiftly than I had. I put myself between my father and Riley. Sure he wouldn’t hurt me and sure he would hurt Riley. He grabbed my arm.

“I…I just, How did you find me?” I stammered

“Not important,” He snapped. Pulling me aside, but not letting go of my arm. “I told you to stay away from the likes of him, you’re lucky you’re not fucking dead already.”

“I’d never hurt her,” Riley piped in. I looked at him with wide eyes. Trying to exhibit the message to run for the hills. This was the side of my father only very few people seen. My father turned on him. he finally let go of me, only to clutch onto the front of Riley’s shirt.

“I should fucking gut you right here, how dare you touch my daughter,” He snarled.

“I never hurt her,” Riley repeated. Putting on a brave face even though he was staring down a raging bull. Most people in the hands of my father looked terrified. Riley just looked determined.

“I know your kind,” Dad hissed. “You would have once you finished playing your sick games with her. Just like they did with my wife. What were you going to do huh? Kill her to, or turn her in and make them do it for you. Would you even have the guts?”

“Dad let him go,” I pleaded. Attempting to pull his grip off Riley. I was terrified, I could feel it building in my throat. I couldn’t let him hurt Riley.

“I would never, I care about her,” Riley argued.

Dad snorted. “You have some balls boy, touch her and it will be the last thing you ever do.”
His words were hauntingly like the ones he had spoken in the service station that day. I didn’t like it. His hand was only inches away from Riley’s throat.

“Dad please,” I begged. Hearing the emotion well in my voice. “Let him go.”

“I can’t promise that,” Riley replied calmly when he should have been running. Dad scowled.

Suddenly, Jamison was there beside me. His face showing a fake mask of calm, even though I could see he was shaken by the events unfolding before us. “Cameron…”

“You stay out of this,” He snapped at Jamison. It had to be the first time he had ever raised his voice to Jamison. He turned back to Riley. “What do you mean by that?”

Riley just gave him a hard stare. “I can’t just walk out of here like you want me to and pretend she doesn’t exist.”

“You will if you know what’s good for you.”

I made another attempt to pull my father off Riley out again he refused to budge. Like I wasn’t even there trying. Jamison’s hands took my from behind as I struggled and pulled me back gently, getting me out of the line of fine and taking my place. Trying to calm my father down.

“Cameron,” He said his voice a lot more forceful. “Let the boy go.”

Dad eyes flickered towards him, anger still flaming in them. His lips flickered as if he was going to argue with him about it. But he hesitated.

“This…will not help anything, let the boy go and let’s get out of here before we get caught.”

“No one comes here at night,” Riley informed him quietly. His eyes still on my father. “You’ll be fine.”

“No one asked you,” Dad snapped at him.

Then with one swift push, my father shoved the boy I loved as hard as he could. Riley fell back, almost falling over himself but managing to keep his footing. He was smart enough to keep the few feet of distance between them, but kept his eyes hard on my father, who had raised his hand in a threatening gesture.

“If you as so much come within feet of my daughter, I will kill you, and I will make it hurt…are we understood?”

“Dad, stop it,” I pleaded stepping forward to pull his fist down.

Jamison again, tried to step in but he wasn’t fast enough. Instead my father turned on me. I got a brief glance of his hard stare before he grabbed my arm tight in his and hand and started walking away. Pulling me along with him against my will. I struggled to pull my arm free. Right now, I didn’t want to go with him. I wanted to stay here with Riley. I wanted to make sure he was okay, that my father didn’t hurt him in anyway. But he didn’t give me any choice.

As if this wasn’t embarrassing enough, I was dragged past several members of our group who had come along. Most likely to help protect us, but it just felt like they were here to witness my humiliation. No one looked me in the eyes, and I returned the favour. Looking down at the floor.

My father didn’t let go of my arm the whole walk back. I stopped fighting to make him let go after the first block. He also refused to speak a word to me and I wasn’t quick to initiate the conversation. I was in deep this time, I’d dug a big hole for myself. And I’d been caught red-handed. There was no way I was going to be able to talk myself out of this one and it was an extremely slim chance that he would just let this slip by as be being a teenager again. I was surprised when he had pulled that one the first time, I doubted it would happen again. I’d be lucky to ever see daylight again.

Only when we reached the bar a top our hideout did my father let go of my arm. I hung back, sulking and rubbing my arm, as one by one everyone went inside. Seeing my final chance to escape the oncoming lecture I tried to sneak past with everyone and disappear down the stairs, where I would promptly find the best hiding spot of my life. Alas, before I could make it to the top step he caught me.

Taking my arm in his hand again and keeping me on the same level. When everyone, bar me, dad and Jamison, had disappeared down into the hideout itself Jamison pulled the door closed. Hanging back with us for whatever reason. Maybe to protect me from my father’s anger? I didn’t know but I wasn’t thrilled about the audience.

Realizing there was no way out of this I pulled myself up and sat on one of the bench tops. Keeping my head low, and staring at the floor. At first he just paced, while Jamison leant against the doorframe in the background, his face passive. Pacing was never a good sign neither was his fists clenching and unclenching. Eventually he threw his hands in the air and started speaking.

“Why? Was his first question. “why would you so stupidly risk your life even after it told you not to, even after I begged and pleaded with you not to?....Why Grace?”

I didn’t know what to say without making him angrier. So I went for the easy way out.

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know! My god Grace, you could have been killed!”

“He wouldn’t hurt me….” I started but he didn’t let me get a word in edgewise.

“He wouldn’t hurt you,” he mimicked. “You have no idea what those people are capable of.”
“Since when have you had this, ‘us and them’ mentality,” I questioned. As always never knowing when to keep my big mouth shut.

“Since they started slaughtering us like animals. But that’s not the point here, You deliberately disobeyed me and snuck out again! God only know how many times.” he argued.

Again, my big mouth answered for me. “You don’t know him; he loves me too much to hurt me.”

For a slight moment his features contorted. It could have been a trick of the light for all I knew. But all of a sudden he looked like he wanted to bang his head against the brick wall.

“Great, fucking great.” He turned to face me once more. His Green eyes burning. “I thought you were smarter than this Grace.”

I opened my mouth to retaliate. He cut me off.

“No, listen to me for once. You know the danger out there more than anyone…If nothing more you should be more careful. God forbid anyone got their hands on you.” I’d forgotten how religious my dad got when he was angry. “And I wasn’t there. You’re an easy target and you just out yourself out there for anyone to take advantage of!”

“But I didn’t,” I argued. I knew exactly what dangers lurked outside these walls. “I’m not stupid dad; I know how to avoid trouble.”

“No you’re not stupid,” He agreed. “Bit your sure as hell putting on a good show of it!”

“Oh thanks,” I grumbled.

“Don’t give me that attitude!,” He muttered. And for the first time in my life I thought he would actually go through with his threat of slapping the attitude out of me. I’d never seen him so angry. He was literally shaking, his fist taut.

“I know you’re not an idiot but you know better than putting yourself in such dangerous and stupid situations, or for that matter, falling for some idiot boys games.”

“There were no games,” I argued again. The argument of Riley continued to get my back up.

“You don’t know that!” He bellowed. “Once he got what he wanted. Would have killed you. Or turned you in!”

I hated the way he spoke about him, like he was some low-life game player. Or his assumption that Riley was just out to hurt me. He had no idea. Nor did I like being scolded over my misdeeds and bad behavior when his pregnant mistress was in the next room. Somewhere deep down I knew he was just trying to protect me but that small part was overshadowed by my own anger and frustration. And so, for the final time my big mouth spoke without thinking.

“He got what he wanted and he still didn’t hurt me okay. You have no idea what you’re talking about!”

“What?”

His voice was quiet, deadly. At this point understood I’d said too much. I felt my face flush, bright red. Even Jamison straightened up at this point. I considered clarifying exactly what it was Riley had gotten out of me, but realized there was no way of putting it that would make this situation better. I’d be better to learn to keep my mouth shut. Now, more than ever, I had the fleeting feeling that my father would hit me for the first time in my life. His posture, stiff back, tight fists, all screamed fury.

One that had never been aimed towards me before. I carefully slid off the table. Wanting to be able to run for it if the need appeared. Carefully, without a single glance in my direction, Jamison introduced himself to the situation. Calm energy radiating off him. He went straight to my father and attempted to calm him with whispered words. My father pushed him away at first, his eyes only for me.

“I thought I’d raised you better,” he said. His voice still deadly.

The disgust in his eyes, again, got my back up. “And how can you even think about lecturing about anything like that,” I snapped. Just because I’d let the Penny thing slide, didn’t mean I was over it. “You didn’t even wait a year after mom died before you knocked up some other slut.”

“Don’t you dare put this back on me this time,” he retaliated. Jamison put his hands on his shoulders to stop him advancing on me.

“This is getting out of hand,” Jamison interrupted, stopping my next argument. He turned his head to face me but there was no smiles for me tonight. “Grace, go to bed.” My father tried to interrupt. Jamison spoke over him. “We’ll deal with this when you calm down Cameron.”

Dad must have been angry because he even turned on Jamison for a moment. “What do you mean by that, you think I’d hurt her.”

“Right now, I don’t know,” Jamison replied honestly. “Grace…go. Now.”

I couldn’t go yet though, there was a question playing on my tongue. Something he had said earlier in the night had got me thinking and I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know the truth. My father had claimed to have never found my mother after the bombings. But a comment he had made to Riley about her had me questioning what he had told me. I bit the bullet.

“What happened to mom?” I questioned. “You said something about her before, to Riley.”

My father’s eyes flickered back to me for the moment. For a quick few seconds he seemed to weight up his options and finally decided on telling me the truth. Thanks to his anger, he didn’t even sugar-coat it.

“I found her,” He said quietly, “A few days before I found you. We tried to get in on the first evacuations, thinking we’d lost all you kids. Instead, they played stupid games with us until we failed and they just slaughtered her on the spot.”

Jamison didn’t even look at me this time. “Grace, go to bed.”

Without another word I turned on my heel and walked quickly back into the safety of the hideout. A single tear falling from my pale cheek.