Code of Honor

Riley stayed with me all night. Every time I woke up her was there, lying against my back with his protective arm wrapped around me. Sometimes he was awake, sometimes he was asleep alongside me. It helped to keep the nightmares at bay and when I did have one, having him beside me helped me stop the panic that would settle in. Occasionally I would wake to him pulling me closer to his body and holding me there.

Once or twice I also woke to my father coming in to check on me. But he quickly ushered me back into sleep every time he woke me. He never stayed long. Leaving me in Riley’s care for the night. Then there was the single occasion when I woke to them conversing with one another. I could hear them talking over me but my mind was still thick with sleep, my eyes remained closed.

“They’re out in force,” I heard my father saying. “But I’m not sure if it’s got anything to do with you guys or something else.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Riley said. “They’re known to go out of their way when someone gets one over them.”

Dad must have agreed. “Probably best for you two to stay hidden down here. Trying to keep as many of us as down here as possible but we’re starting to run desperately short on supplies,” He sighed. “But we can’t risk going up there for too long while the armies out.”
“I know of a few places,” Riley said slowly. “Supply buildings like those ones I told Grace about a while ago.

“Won’t they be guarded?” Dad asked sceptically. He still didn’t trust Riley completely.

“Not all the time,” Riley explained. “They don’t have the men to completely rely on manning them all day and night. They check on them throughout the day but most of the time there just locked. But I had a friend who did a lot of the tech locks for them. He was laughing once about how useless they were. They were more of a prevention measure to scare people off. Take a gun to them and they fall apart, totally useless.”

“Where are they?” Dad asked curiosity evident in his voice.

“They’re scattered all over the place. I know there’s one not far from here, a couple of blocks over…Lawson street I think. I could show you a few of them.”

“I don’t know,” Dad said. “I think I’d try and find it without you first, instead of bring you up there to be seen. Think you could describe the place?”

I felt Riley nod behind me. “Sure. I don’t know exactly when they have people going through and checking on them though. You’d have to be careful.”

“How long in between checks?” dad asked.

“A good few hours,” Riley replied. “There only checked about three times a day. The alarms are only used at night since they have no one to man them.”

I heard my father let out a sigh, he was thinking. I knew the sound well.

“Thank you,” He said. “You might have just saved our hides.”

For my father to admit that it must have meant we were worse off than I originally thought. Groggily I finally found the anchor to pull me from my sleep. Their conversation stopped instantly as they turned their attention to my mumbling. I opened my eyes to find my father sitting, beside the bed, right before me. Riley was lying behind me, his arm lazily draped over me.

“What’s going on?” I mumbled still trying to separate their conversation from my haze.

“Just discussing where to get some food and water,” Dad said reaching over to squeeze my hand. “Are you feeling any better this morning sweetheart?”

I assessed myself. Mentally, I was still exhausted. I didn’t think that would fade no matter how many nights sleep I got. Physically, I was still sore. My leg hurt along with my mixture of bruises, all ranging in different stages of healing and colour. Some were taking their time to heal, others had faded completely.

Also I was hungry, my stomach and churning and groaning. Fighting for my attention. I had survived my first encounter with food. Terrified as I had been. I still felt somewhat reluctant to eat but my hunger was slowly starting to win.

“I’m hungry,” I reported.

My father’s eyes brightened slightly. It was the first time, to his knowledge, I was going to eat since returning. More than likely he viewed it as the start of an upswing on my behalf. He was quick to get to his feet, promising his swift return. Behind me I heard Riley let out a laugh and pull me closer to his body.

“Told you,” He whispered.

I scowled at him.

“I told you, I promised you, I would let nothing hurt you,” He whispered. “I meant it.”

I didn’t get a chance to reply before my father returned. A small can of food, already opened, in his hand. He sat back down and handed it to me. Riley kept his hands on me as I sat up. As if I’d fall off the bed if he let me go. I stared down at the can in my hand and swallowed hard. I knew I was being paranoid and letting my fear control me, but it was so much easier than facing it. Riley ran his hands up and down my back gently, careful of the bruises and scratches he knew I had. I tried to take strength from his touch and his promise. I lifted the can to my lips.

I started with small bites and sips of the sweet liquid. Again my father had chosen fruit for me. I used to have quite a fondness for fruit, tinned or fresh, but after surviving on nothing but for so long I was starting to begrudge it. However, beggars can’t be choosers. So I ate it without complaint. My feather beaming at me the whole time. I hadn’t seen such an optimistic look on his face since I’d arrived home again.

I couldn’t finish the can. Even thought it was small. My sensitive stomach could not handle any more than half a can. The thought of more made me feel sick. Riley had no qualms about finishing the can for me. I doubted he’d left my side to eat since we’d fallen asleep the night before.

I turned my head to look at my dad. He was still smiling at me. A flicker of hope had returned to his eyes as he watched me. I tried to smile at him, but all I could manage was a twitch of my lips and even that felt un-natural. His grin deepened. It seemed like only yesterday I was sitting in the dark thinking I would never see him again. I was thankful for the second chance. I wasn’t going to waste it, or take him for granted ever again.

“Hello?”

We all glanced up. Jamison was in the hallway, poking his head into the doorway. He walked into the room with a smile for me like always.

“Hope you don’t mind but I wanted to check up on Grace,” he explained. “I haven’t done so in a while. And I think Michael wanted to talk to you Cameron, something about the catchment, it think it’s fallen down on itself again...and If you don’t mind I’d rather do this one, alone.”
Dad sighed, running a hand down his face. “Alright, I’ll leave you to it.” Riley following suit got to his feet. Dad noticing him gave him an offer. “You can give me a hand if you want I need someone on the inside.”

Riley nodded as he climbed off the bed. He bent down to kiss my lips gently, and brush my hair back before he turned to follow my father out of the room. My father had taken to Riley in his own way. He’d decided that after what he had pulled, Riley did actually care for me. He was trying to be nice to him. He treated him the same way he treated the other boys, but slightly more like a son. Realizing that he was going to be around for a long time yet.

Some small part of me missed Riley as his back disappeared around the corner. But in the same breath I could admit some alone time would not go unappreciated. I’d been so surrounded and overwhelmed these days. Alone sounded comforting. Alas, I still had Jamison to deal with first.

He didn’t say a word as he went straight to work. Checking all my injuries with his cold gentle hands. He started at my ribs, which at first he had thought might have been broken. We’d recently downgraded the injury as just bruising. He continued on to check all my cuts and major bruises or any signs of serious injury or infection before moving onto my aching leg.

He’d been trying hard to get a good look and feel of it but while it had been hurting so badly I had not allowed it, without crying and screaming anyway. Today when his hands touched it, I felt the pain ache harder and shoot up my nerves, but it was bearable. I bit my lip and forced back my cries.

“Well,” Jamison announced after a good few minutes. “It looks like you were lucky Grace, your legs not broken, it’s just injured. Muscle, from what I can tell.”

I failed to see this as luck, but I knew where he was coming from. A broken leg would keep me down for a good few months. A simply injury would heal a lot quicker and I would spend less time as a hindrance. Not only did I have to be supported to the bathroom, or anywhere for that matter, but people were constantly waiting on me. Hand and foot. No one else seemed to mind this but me. I think they were just all glad to have me back…alive. If that was the right term considering how I felt most the time.

These issues were not a big deal but with the ever increasing army presence above our heads the threat of being found was larger than ever before. If we were found, I was a serious problem. No one would leave me behind but I was unable to cope alone. I’d do nothing but slow them down and get them caught. My friends and family being caught, and subjected to the torture I had been, sicked me to my stomach. I did not want to be the reason they were hurt or killed. So for the countless time I spent my days willing my body to heal faster than it was able.

“Other than that,” He went on. “You’re on the mend.”

I didn’t feel like it. I hurt all the time. Inside and out.

“How long until my legs better?” I asked glancing down at it. It was still stuck in a stiff splint to keep it still and straight while it healed. Also to discourage me from using it.

“Not sure since I can’t really scan it,” He replied. “As long as you keep off it and let it heal. It should come good.”

I sighed. “So I’m stuck.”

He moved across the room to sit on the bed beside me. I didn’t like the way his eyes seemed to look straight into me. Into parts I was desperately trying to hide from everyone else and, out of courtesy, was pretending not to see.

“I think we might need to have a talk,” He said gently. Using that therapists and/or doctor tone he kept for special occasions.

Somewhere deep down I knew this was going to happen eventually. I had just been pretending I wouldn’t, hoping it wouldn’t. Jamison was a doctor and dedicated to helping us. Be that physically and mentally. He’d been edging towards it all day, even shooing both my keepers before continuing the examination. My father had a raid to plan, but poor Riley was left with Dimitri and Billy. Who, from what I could gather, had found a reasonable poker buddy in Riley.

“Grace?”

I shook my head vigorously. I did not want to talk. I didn’t trust myself to even open my mouth and not burst into tears at the thought of even uttering a single word about my captivity.

“Grace,” He whispered. Watching the emotion well in my eyes. “I know it’s not easy.” Why was it that everyone else knew what I was going through but me? “But I want to help,” He went on. “And sometimes talking about something helps us to understand it, and I thought it may be easier for you to speak to me other than your father, or even Riley. I’ll be an…outside source. Everything you tell me will stay between us, I promise.”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” I muttered looking away from him.

He didn’t understand, talking about it, admitting it, would make it real. I was barely keeping my head above the water as it was. Bringing it all back to the surface would just make things worse again. I didn’t want to go back into that dark little hole I’d created for myself.
“It may help you feel better Grace,” He urged.

“No,” I snapped. The tears started to fall freely down my cheeks. “I can’t okay…You don’t understand, I just…I can’t….”

“Okay, okay,” He soothed just as calm as he was before. “We don’t have to talk about it. I’m sorry I upset you. But I just want you to know that I am here okay?”

I nodded starting to feel calmer already. Wiping uselessly at my eyes. Thankfully I was saved from having to answer him by my father calling his name from the depths of the hideout. With a re-assuring smile Jamison left the room, leaving me alone. Exactly where I wanted to be.

*

The next few days were dead quiet.

I remained in bed, resting my injured leg, with Riley at my side most of the time. My father had taken two men out and raided the small army cache Riley had directed him to. They’d done so in broad daylight and still managed to escape with arms full of food and water. Everyone else remained underground and silent.

The army was an ever-growing threat around us. We weren’t completely sure if it was us they were after or if there had been another threat of invasion on our soil. Riley didn’t think so, usually these things came with a warning long before and he’d heard nothing around the base before he’d left. So that left us and the embarrassment we’d left behind.

I had been the first and, so far, the only prisoner to escape their base alive and that set a bad example on their behalf. Not only had I escaped them, one of their own had broken me and out turned his back on them. It was inevitable that now one person had turned their back on them and walked away, more would follow suit and now to stop this from happening to them again we had to be hunted down and made an example of.

So we remained hidden amongst our friends. Friends ready to defend us if the need arose. I wasn’t too worried. Hidden beneath the ground we weren’t going to be found easily. Also my father’s lack of concern made me feel a lot better. If he felt safe under here, so did I. And I’d learnt my lesson. No longer would I be sneaking out behind his back, not that I had the need any more with Riley beside me constantly, I’d learnt the hard-way.

Riley was still tense. Though impressed with the hideout, he didn’t believe us to be completely safe here. Every time a truck rolled across the road above out heads, pulling us from our sleep, he would sit up and stare at the ceiling. As if waiting for them to drop through it. Though his anxiety tended to feed mine I felt slightly safer again knowing I had a guardian right beside me. Alert for the sound of any danger.

Not that it would help us in the end.

Determined to prove to Jamison I was emotionally fine, though I knew deep down I wasn’t, I’d starting allowing myself more visitors. Dimitri and Billy became regulars. As always, ready for a game of poker or any other game we could come up with using a deck of cards. Aside from the occasional fluke I had been the greatest poker player and the boys rarely had competition. Riley on the other hand, was wiping the floor with them and as far as I was concerned that counted for me too. Every hand he got he knew how to use. Whether it was a flush or nothing at all. The boys were stumped.

“Fold,” Billy sighed, throwing his cards into my lap. I picked them up and added them to my own. No one cared because they knew I’d still lose anyway. “How did you get so good at this,”

Riley’s facial expression never faltered as he spoke. “Practice, this was basically all we did on base.”

“It’s all we do!” He exclaimed.

“But you’ve only had Grace for practice,” Riley explained.

“Hey…Don’t you start picking on me,” I grumbled. He smiled at me but he was right even with two hands, I still couldn’t beat them.

“Sorry love,” He grinned, kissing the back of my head then going back to his poker face. Dimitri was still in the game.

“Get a roo…,” Billy started to say but was cut off.

Chaotic noise started to echo from the depths of the hideout. We all sat up, our ears perked, waiting for something else to hint us to the trouble. At first all we could hear was heavy footsteps, moving quickly across the floor. Compared the days of silence we’d endured it was cause for panic in itself. Riley sat up beside me, the boys got to their feet. I felt the panic settle into a hard lump in my throat. In seconds the essence of fear had surrounded the atmosphere around us. Making it harder to breathe. Beside me Billy moved across the room, towards the door, ready to face the trouble at hand. That was when we heard the first call.

“Run!”

Riley leapt to his feet, alongside Dimitri. Riley turned on his heel and put his arms out for me. I grabbed onto them, my hands gripping around his wrists, and he hauled me to my feet. Behind us the cries and screams were getting louder.

“They’ve found us.”