Code of Honor

I grew up around guns. Hence why I knew how to handle one. My grandfather hunted, my father hunted, my brother hunted. There was always a locked gun cabinet in the house and a pistol in dad’s beside table. Only ever used to protect his home and family. Our guns had never been turned on people. Only animals and dad had made sure to drum that into us from the time we learned about the guns.
I had never hunted but I had been around on camping trips when my dad and brother had hunted. I’d been allowed to handle the guns and shot tin cans off a fence post. I may not have been the best shot but I knew how to fire at a target.

“No!”

“Please...dad”

“No Grace.”

“Why not?” I groaned.

The argument had spilled on for over an hour now. I wanted to help since they were men short but my father was too protective of me. He refused to let me anywhere near danger. Understandable since he was my father, but unfortunate for me when I wanted to help.

“I won’t let you get hurt Grace,” he said firmly. “It’s too dangerous.”

“But I can help,” I argued and he shook his head.

“I don’t need to be worrying about your safety,” He mumbled.

“You can’t protect me forever dad.”

He grunted and ignored me. Going back to what he was doing. I glanced over his shoulder to see him loading a few guns and cleaning there barrels. I didn’t want to be useless. I was just a part of this group as anyone else and I wanted to help. Half the reason we needed supplies was because I went and got myself shot.

“Dad,” I sighed walking up beside him. “I want to help.”

He kept his eyes on the guns. “Grace...your all I have left...I won’t risk that.”

His words cut through me. Cold down my spine. I knew exactly what he meant because I didn’t want to lose him either and if he went short maned for this raid. There was a risk if a spot was left open. A spot that could leave my father’s back open.

“I don’t want to lose you either dad but times are different now...I can’t sit around like a child anymore. I have to help dad. I can help.”

With a heavy sigh and made his chest rise and fall he placed the gun down. He stared at the cracked wall for some time. I stood in wait, my foot jumped with nerves. A silly little habit I had never been able to kick. Slowly Jamison took his cue to walk over. He stood on the other side of my father and spoke softly. I think he was trying to leave me out of the conversation. I turned away and didn’t listen. Dimitri caught my eye from across the room and I shrugged in answer to his silent question. This would his first place in any sort of raid or activity with the group and he wanted me to share that with him.

“Fine Grace,” Dad muttered putting his gun down a little harder than intended. “If you want to go...go.”

He stalked off in the other direction and I looked up at Jamison for an answer. He shot me a small smile.

“I have faith in you Gracie, you’re a smart girl.”

“But he doesn’t,” I muttered looking at my father’s retreating back. It had always been the same.

“No,” Jamison replied. “He cares about you. He doesn’t want to put you in any danger.”

~~~~

It had started as a normal day. Or as normal as these days had become. I got up to the smell of my mother’s cooking wafting from the kitchen. Pancakes, it had been that morning. Mum’s specialty and about the only thing she could cook right. I dressed lazily before heading out to the kitchen where I was promptly given my breakfast. No one ever went hungry when she was around.

I still remembered perfectly how she looked that morning. Her dark hair was hanging down to her shoulders. Simply brushes and left be. She wore her usual jeans and loose long-sleeved shirt. Her silver necklace hung nicely from her neck and rested on her collarbone. A smile took her features that morning but it was hiding something. I still didn’t know what and never would. If I’d have known what that day had in store I would have kissed her properly before I left that morning. That was the last time I seen my mother.

I walked to the bus with my little sister’s hand in mine and my older brother trailing behind as he texted his girlfriend. I had always gotten on well with my siblings. Sure we had our spats like all kids do but we loved each other. The last time I seen my baby sister, she was waving out the bus window. I waved back like I did every day before my brother and I headed off to our own bus.

We joked and played the whole way like we did every day. My brother was exactly like our dad. I missed him. The last memory I had of him was getting off the bus at school. He pushed me playfully in the back as I walked up the stairs into the building. I turned, and smiled when I saw that it was him. Then he disappeared into the crowd and I never seen him again.

Those memories were the ones that haunted me the most. They were full of what if’s and should have’s. What if instead of putting my baby sister on the bus that day I took her with me. What if I took her home instead, would she still be alive? And instead of just smiling at my brother, I should have hugged him and told him I loved him. There was so much I could have done to save them...if only I’d known.

There had always been an unwritten rule. Civilians were safe. The battlefield was the battlefield but civilians were kept out of the line of fire. It was a rule that stood shakily but was obeyed by most governments. But eventually it was broken. We suffered a practically embarrassing loss on a front in the Middle East. It was an area in extreme conflict. The ground was rich in oil, what hadn’t already been drained was being fought for. Oil wasn’t easy to get and very useful. There was no such thing was trade anymore, everything had to be fought for.

Our government fumed over the embarrassment of such a loss and the loss of such an important resource and decided to seek revenge. At the time we were the most powerful and biggest army around. A loss was humiliating and to prove a point our commander in chief ordered an attack on the offending country. But not on their armed forces. On their unprotected and unknowing civilians. The whole ordeal reminded me of an old Chinese proverb I’d heard. In typical American fashion I’d heard it in a Chinese restaurant.

When you begin a journey of revenge, start by digging two graves:
One for your enemy, and one for yourself.

At the time like any other kid with no culture I scoffed and went back to my fortune cookies. Now I understood exactly. After the hideous bombing our country insulted upon some small European country it opened the doors for everyone to drop bombs where ever they wanted. This was when things really went to hell. Of course we were attacked in return. Not many countries had the guts to take us on at first in fear of reprisal but after one did it, the rest followed suit. Our government caused the death of millions overseas, then they lost millions in return and their bodies still littered the streets. It wasn’t a pretty sight and one that still made me gag as I walked past.

With our bags hiked over our shoulders firmly, heavy guns in our hands as we snuck across the back of a cracked sound barrier. Separating the houses from the main road into the city. Luckily we didn’t have to cross the road today. We could follow it into the city were there would be more cover until we reached our destination. With the threat of Russian invasion fading some of the soldiers were sent elsewhere. But many remained behind. They always would. To make our existence harder.

I kept close to my father’s back as we walked. His orders, if I was coming I had to stay close so he could protect me at all costs. We were still a few men short but with Dimitri and I tagging along we were a lot safer. It was another two sets of eyes to watch out for potential threats. Jamison was bringing up the rear, watching our backs. We all watched my father intently. He was at the front and held most the responsibility for keeping us all safe. We all followed him and his small hand signals. On the outskirts we were usually pretty safe other than the occasional patrol. But they were done in large trucks so they were often heard before we were seen. It was in the city itself where we were most at risk.

We didn’t see a single life form until we were coming into the central district. It had been a long time since I’d been back into the city. Some buildings still stood tall. Mostly around the outside. Nothing in the middle was standing anymore. Smoke and dust still hung in the air along with the stench of death. No matter how many times the smell invaded my nostril I still gagged over it.

It was a horrible, unnatural smell. One that made me sick to my stomach every time. Thankfully a lot of the bodies in this far into the wreckage had burned up leaving no trace. Or had been picked up by the army or remaining family who could still manage to get their way in. Honestly, I didn’t completely know how or why but I was grateful I didn’t have to stare into the eyes of another dead person.

The city’s main and closest hospital was located to the east close to the center but far enough away that it survived the bombings. Our hideout was in the south. In the industrial district. It was a fair hike to the hospital on foot but the treasure inside made up for it. Hence why’d we’d left so early in the morning. The sun had risen in the sky but it to was still waking. It wasn’t as bright as it could be. Dew from the cold night before had settled over the remaining grass and some rubble. It was a pretty sight, something you didn’t see often anymore and it just didn’t fit the devastation surrounding us.

Suddenly I hit something solid. I steadied myself and looked up. My father had stopped and I hadn’t realized. His eyes were transfixed on something ahead of us. His arm came back slowly and I instantly watched for the movement of his hand to tell me where to go. But instead he put his arm across my chest and pushed me back gently. My back hit Dimitri’s chest but neither of us moved. We all waited for it quietly.

Then his hand started moving, to the left with a downward slant. We all ducked down to the left and hid among the rubble that had collected at the base of a half fallen building. My breath caught in my throat as I watched. Dad kneeled down and aimed his rifle over the ledge of a burnt metal beam. One of the other men, Oscar, followed suit. I followed their aim to see a group of soldiers walked into view. Four of them. They hadn’t seen us yet.

“Ten points each,” Oscar smirked. Always the comedian.

“Only if they see us,” Dad replied firmly.

We watched them move across slowly. Guns hanging loosely at there sides and all smoking cigarettes. Unaware of us hiding down the adjacent street. I didn’t think they could have walked any slower. There was obviously nothing going on in their world today. Eventually they cross and disappeared from view. We waited a few more minutes hidden in the shadows before dad got to his feet slowly. We all followed his movements.

“From this point on,” Dad ordered firmly. “No talking.”

We all nodded and followed as he started to walk. Without the sound of the people behind me trying to make lights jokes and conversation things got a lot creepier. Try imagining the biggest city you know devoid of all life and sound. That alone was creepy. Without the whole fact that the city was missing and littering the ground. I started to regret wanting to come. I should have let dad win the argument and stayed back.

Eventually the hospital came into view over the rubble. The fear rose from my chest into my throat. We were so close to danger. When we were only a street away from it we stopped. Dad ushered us into a small shop across from the back entrance. We sat down while he Jamison and Oscar all moved back out. They had to scope the area before we could move in and doing this with three people was safer and easier than with the whole group of seven. I sat down next to Dimitri while we waited. We had no idea how long this would take.

“This,” he started quietly. “Reminds me of Cod.”

“Cod?” I asked.

His eyes widened and he stared at me stunned. “You don’t know what C.O.D is?”

“No,” I replied.

“Oh my god,” he mumbled. “You have not lived. It’s a game, Call of Duty. Basically you shoot people.”

“Sounds fun,” I replied sarcastically. I was never one for video games.

He sighed and shook his head . “Weirdo.”

“Freak.”

“Children.”

We both shut up. Tim was an older man. One who held a lot of respect for absolutely no other reason than he scared us. He was quiet, and large. When he did speak it held a mysterious edge that made you want to ask more but not because you knew you weren’t meant to. I knew he had a past but I’d always been afraid to ask. When he pulled out the ‘children’ remark, usually saved for Dimitri and myself, we knew we had to shut up.

I looked down but looked up at him through my lashes. His skin was pale, wrinkled with age and his cheek was scarred. On a guess I would have said he was in his seventy’s. We sat silently while we waited for my father and the others to return. The only noise came from Tim blowing his cigarette. Then abruptly Oscar slid into the doorway beside me. I jumped a foot in the air and Dimitri choked on the laugh. Oscar held a serious front and grabbed my arm pulling me closer since I was the first in reach. He lined me in front of the doorway.

“Go straight ahead,” he told me pointed across the road. “Keep down and aim for that doorway. Your dad’s waiting there.”

I nodded, glanced around the street quickly then waited for him to tap my back before I went. My heart pounded high in my throat. I felt like I was choking on it but I kept going. I kept down and moved as quickly as I could across the dirty road. Thankfully nothing was fired at me. I skidded to a halt outside the doorway Oscar had pointed me to expecting to see my father and Jamison...but it was empty. This wasn’t good. I was out in the open, all alone. Sure I had a gun but I barely knew how to use it. Suddenly something grabbed my arm and pulled me roughly to the right. I stumbled with the force and was soon in another deep doorway.

“Almost,” Jamison smirked letting go of my arm.

I blushed with embarrassment. Only I would do something so incredibly stupid. Dad didn’t look amused but he was looking out the doorway for the next person to make their dash. Slowly one by one they all made their way over. Getting in was the hard part but today it seemed incredibly easy. They only had one patrol working the perimeter. Something was amiss and I think we all knew it.

But we’d come so close. We couldn’t turn back now. When everyone was safely crammed inside the small doorway Oscar moved forward. He was crucial to these raids. He was a locksmith so he was given a place every time to pick all the locks we came across. Thankfully he was quick at it so soon we all stumbled inside and I had my personal space back. Unfortunately I had been pressed up against Dimitri and he had reveled in this.

At this point Jamison took over. We all followed him since he knew what we needed and where to find it. He said from memory, which he assured me hadn’t faded with age, we needed to be on the fourth floor. So we found the nearest stairwell which had remained clear thanks to the army’s prior patrols throughout the building.

“This is way too easy,” I whispered to Dimitri as we climbed up another set of stairs.

He nodded but kept his mouth closed for once. Dad scoped out the doorway before we were allowed to move onto the fourth floor. A large waiting area expanded in front of us. Chairs had been overturned and there were holes in the plaster. Several white heavy looking doors lines the walls around the area. Jamison opened one beside the stairwell. This one had no glass window in it. I peeked over their shoulders.

It was a storage closest. Jamison and another man whose name I was never told went with him and soon started piling everything they could get their hands on into bags. Dad motioned the rest of us in the other direction. I followed without hesitation keeping close to his back. We stopped in one room, filled half a bag with odds and ends before moving back out. Suddenly dad’s back tensed, his arm shot out and pushed me back into the doorway of the room.

“Drop your weapons!” a strange commanding voice yelled.

My heart skipped more than one beat. I watched my father and a few of the others take aim in the direction of the center of the room. I swallowed hard and peeked out to see what was happening. There were soldiers. I don’t know how many but we were definitely outnumbered. My mind quickly ran over all the scenarios on how this could end. We drop our weapons and they either arrest us or execute us. We don’t and all hell breaks loose. We may win, but the chances were slim.

“Last chance, drop your weapons or else!”

I don’t know what happened because we were never given the chance. Gunfire started sounding, echoing in my ears. We fired back. We were already out numbed, I didn’t want to be useless so I crept out of the doorway and pointed my gun in the general direction of the soldiers. Aiming at a particular one seemed to deliberate. I didn’t want to kill a person but right now it was them or me. I fired and fell back. I’d forgotten to brace myself. So much for helping. I glanced down at my hand, I wasn’t sure what but something on the gun had ripped some skin off my hand. It was the least of my worries. Something hit the ground at our feet and I looked down. I wasn’t an expert on any type of bombs or grenades but whatever this was looked dangerous.

I pulled my foot out from under me and kicked it. Since I was half laying on the ground I lacked the force to send it to far but at least it wasn’t right underneath us. It blew with a dull bang and I braced myself for pain but there was none. I caught a glimpse of smoke billowing from it before it was completely hidden amongst its own smoke. In seconds the room was filled with a thick Grey smoke. I couldn’t see a thing, it traveled down my throat every time I took a breath and made me gasp for air.

I could hear screaming, and yells and pain coming from everywhere. Bullet’s flew over my head. I pushed myself up and scrambled for cleaner air. I needed to see where I was shooting so I didn’t hit someone I cared about. I had to help my dad.

I could feel the air getting less polluted in my throat. My lungs welcomed the cleanness of it. I stumbled forward in one harsh movement and fell onto cold tiles. I coughed and gasped for a second trying to clear myself. Out of the blue something had my leg. I had no idea what and I didn’t care. I just had to get it off. I kicked violently and flipped myself over. A loud bang echoed through the empty room. I looked around quickly. I was in one of the rooms off the left of the main area were the battle was still raging.

Embarrassingly from what I could tell it had been a dead pot plant that had attacked my leg. It had fallen as I had and in my fear I had kicked the door closed behind me. I was thankful no one was around to witness this. Quickly I pulled myself up and braced myself on the wall as I straightened my gun. I was about to get back into battle when a rustle from behind me distracted me. I flung around expecting to find my imagination playing tricks on me but instead only a few feet away a soldier stood.

His gun trained on me.