Cats and Dogs

“Alright, I’m driving,” I said as Jake and I came to stand next to the car I had seen him driving around town a time or two. When the boy merely looked at me as if I had just grown a fifth head, I held out the hand that wasn’t currently holding one of his and shook it a little to get his attention. “That means I need the keys.” That sentence seemed to bring him back to reality and the next thing that came out of his mouth was totally expected.

“You’re not driving my Rabbit,” Jacob said with a gleam in his chocolate brown eyes. “No one drives it but me.” Apparently that was about to change because I was not getting in a car with him behind the wheel; being in a car crash was not at the top of my priorities list today.

“I’ve been driving since before you were born, I’m not going to scratch the paint. Give me the keys.”

“They’re inside, I thought we’d just run wherever we were going.” He finally answered as he lowered my hand until it was once again at my side. “Where are we going anyway?” I really wanted to hit that boy in the back of the head, he really does ask stupid questions.

“To breakfast, and you’re keys are in your left back pocket.” I told him and watched with a smile on my face as he reached into said pocket and pulled out a shinny ring of keys.

“Wow, she’s good.” Jake said with a touch of pure amazement in his voice and I knew exactly where he was coming from, the goddess did know what she was doing, I’d give her that much.

“And what do you mean we’re going to breakfast? Is that some weird cat-term for ‘I’m going to skin you alive’?” I nearly fell over at the fact Jacob had actually told me a joke, a real joke, with a smile and everything.

“No, it means a meal normally had in the morning, consisting of pancakes, eggs, and bacon.” Hello, I don’t kid about food, it’s sacred.

“Okay,” he said slowly and lessened his grip on my hand as if he was preparing himself to run. “You’re still not driving.”

“Fine, just get in the damn car and drive us to the nearest restaurant that serves food that provides some sort of nourishment.” I released his hand and climbed into the passenger side of the car, smirking in amusement at how fast Jacob joined me in the cab and gripped my hand as if it was the only thing keeping him alive… though, maybe it was.

--------~♥~----------

“Okay our specials for today are-“ started the blonde waitress that had just come to give us our menus.

“Yeah, we don’t care. Just hand over the menus and leave.” I didn’t like the way she was eyeing Jake, like she wanted more than anything to sink her claws into him, literally.

“Maybe he’d like to hear them,” she said as she eyed Jacob in a way that made me want to rip her hand off. Hello, my mate, if I didn’t want blonde bimbos touching him then, well, they weren’t going to lay a finger on him.

“No, it’s fine.” Said Jake and I nearly leaned over the table and kissed the man, as it was, I managed to control the relief that washed over me and smiled as the woman “huffed” and walked away, her heels clicking on the linoleum in an annoying manner along the way.

“Yeah, she’s not getting a tip.” I mumbled so Jake couldn’t hear, before laying my menu to the side and placing my hands on the table in front of me.

“Anyway, there was a reason why I brought you here,” I said and placed my fingers on Jake’s forearm lightly, just enough to classify as skin contact. He looked at me over the top of the menu and simply raised an eyebrow in a way that told me exactly what he was thinking.

“I think the reason we don’t get along is because you don’t know me very well. Your friends have told me a lot about you and I figured we’d level the playing field a little.” The piece of plastic in Jake’s hands was immediately placed on top of the one I had put down earlier so that he could give me his full attention.

“Oh, I have got to hear this,” he said seriously and I wasn’t completely sure if his enthusiasm was a good thing or not, but knowing Jake I’d have to go with the latter.

“Alright, well, I didn’t know I was a cougar shifter until I was eight years old, when I broke my neck while playing with my friends and simply laughed it off. My parents sat me down later that day and told me I wasn’t like everyone else. I killed my first human when I was eleven, long story, you don’t want to hear it; killed my first Shape shifter at age fourteen, again long story, and dismantled my first vampire when I was eighteen. I like to hunt and kill, especially when in human form. I’m not as fast or strong and I have to use my brain more than anything.” Jake looked as though he wanted to walk away and never see me again when I mentioned my… hobby, but the possible threat of the pain that would engulf him if he were to do so was most likely the only thing that kept him in his seat.

“Speaking of firsts, I had my first drink at age sixteen, my first sexual encounter took place on the night of my first wedding when I was thirty-nine, I went to my first concert when I was ten, I and I first traveled outside my country when I was twenty-eight.

“My favorite color is black, my favorite food is French fries, my favorite book is Desperation by Stephen King, my favorite band is Yellowcard, and my favorite type of dance is ballet.

“I’m straight, I can’t even stand to be friends with women, let alone more; my natural hair color is blonde but I dye it the shade that I had when I met you; I have been to every country in the world; I have spoken with the Volturi in Volterra Italy; I have met six presidents, two queens of England, and twelve Prime Ministers; I think marriage should be classified as a type of torture and if gays and lesbians want to put themselves through it, they should be able to; I have gone to college and I have a PhD in Biology from Oxford university; and I do not want children, they are evil little monsters and I will not be forced to deal with them.”

Jacob just sat there in the booth for several minutes, when the waitress came back I was forced to order for him, something I felt a little awkward doing, this wasn’t pizza, I had no idea what the guy liked, but thankfully he managed to pull himself out of whatever trance he had been in before the food arrived.

“You went to Oxford?” Jake asked seriously and I nearly fell out of my seat with the force of my laughter; out of everything I had just told him he had to question my schooling?

“Yeah, try living for a century and see if you don’t get so bored that even college seems entertaining.” I was still laughing hysterically and I had to catch myself from falling face first into my plate of pancakes.

“Are you okay?” Jake asked with a strange look in my direction. “Want me to call the vet?” I immediately stopped laughing at that sentence and glared at him from across the table.

“Wow, cool it Fighto. That was the line and you just crossed it.” I snapped and he merely rolled his eyes before spearing a piece of omelet and shoving into his mouth, apparently manners were a foreign concept to him.

“Why’d you do this?” He asked after several minutes of silence. “I mean, breakfast, strange facts I really don’t care about- though it is nice to know you really are a psychopath, and the fact you’re spending time with me when you could be doing so with my friends. Why?”

I really didn’t have an answer for him, it just seemed like a good idea at the time. But I couldn’t tell him that. “You’re friends are idiots, I woke up to find Leah chasing Embry around my living room and I was hungry, you were in pain, so I decided to take you to breakfast. And you know very little about me and since I am the most amazing person to ever walk the face of the earth, I decided to tell you a little.”

“And how does the fact you like French Fries effect me?” The waitress returned as Jake was asking his question and I took it from her even though it was obviously being handed to the shape shifter.

“Oh, lookie here, a phone number.” I said as I lifted the check to see a scrap of paper beneath it. “I think you left it here by mistake.” I picked up the offending piece and held it out to the waitress who just stared at me as if I was the epitome of evil before walking away without a word.

“Apparently it wasn’t hers.” I told Jake and ripped the number into a thousand little pieces, picturing one Bella Swan as I did so.

“You didn’t answer my question.” Jacob said as I looked over the bill to make sure the bimbo had done the math properly, or at least typed the correct numbers into the calculator.

“A relationship is built on the little things.” One could practically hear the sound of gears grinding together in the boys head.

“We’re not in a relationship,” He said with a little more malice than was really necessary. “We’re not even friends.” I had to agree with him there, I still couldn’t stand the man.

“Of course we’re in a relationship,” I said and grabbed Jake’s hand before standing up, forcing him to do the same. “Everyone has a relationship with their enemy and over the last month a half you’ve become mine.”

I paid the bill, leaving a fifty cent tip for our waitress; since it was considered in poor manners not give her anything, and found myself standing with Jake outside his car.

“So you want to help us hate each other?” He asked and I mentally slapped myself for thinking a dog could understand what I was talking about.

“No, I want to help us like each other, there is a very thin line between love and hate, and if we actually learn about each other then maybe we can develop a friendship. It’s pretty simple really.” I held my hand out for Jake’s keys and much to my amazement he actually handed them over without me having to ask for them.

“Scratch it and I kill you,” he said venomously and there was not doubt in my mind that he meant it, but there was one problem with that plan.

“Jakie dear, I can’t die.”