Cats and Dogs

I slowly looked over the top of the bush I was hiding behind, Bella’s house was in sight and with a smirk, I raised the walkie-talkie to my mouth.

“Kitty Kat to Bloodsucker. Kitty Kat to Bloodsucker, what is your location?” I continued to glare at the two-story home and started thinking about how gratifying it would be to egg it.

“Bloodsucker to Kitty Kat.” Came Edward’s fuzzy voice from the device in my hand. “I’m located approximately FIVE FUCKING FEET to your left.” I looked in said direction and waved at the slightly pissed off vampire who, much to my amusement, waved back sarcastically.

“Kitty Kat to Red Alpha, is your team prepared?” I waited for a few seconds until Brandon’s voice answered me.

“Red Alpha to Kitty Kat, Porcupine, Anger Management, and Brilliant Man are in position. Ready whenever you are.” I smiled at the use of code names and had to take several deep breaths to keep from laughing hysterically. For those of you that have an IQ of four and a half, the people Brandon was referring to were Quil, Paul, and Jared, in that order. I hate having to explain myself, it take up too much time so I’m going to stop… maybe.

“Thank you Red Alpha, the plan will be under way momentarily.” Edward just looked at me strangely and gave him a very… obscene hand gesture that wiped that stupid grin off his face.

“Kitty Kat to Black Alpha, team two is in position, what is your status?” Have I mentioned that I’m having way more fun with this than was normal? If I haven’t then I should have because I felt like a six year old on Christmas morning.

“Black Alpha to Kitty Kat, Queen Bee, Cub, and Krazy Mutt are in their correct locations. Can we please hurry this along? I have a lunch date with Emily that I really don’t want to miss.” Well, sorry if the plan to save my life is affecting his social life, maybe we just postpone until after the full moon. Also, the wolves mentioned are Leah, Seth, and Embry. I feel ashamed that I must tell you that.

“Shut up before reach through this device and strangle you Sam,” I hissed and thumped myself on the head a couple of times when Edward laughed and eight voices yelled at me at the same time.

“You’re supposed to use the code names!” I didn’t bother saying anything to them, they didn’t deserve it. Instead, I decided to talk to someone a little more mature.

“Kitty Kat to Hot Wheels, how you doing?” I heard a groan from beside me and without looking at the man-like thing beside me, I picked up a rock and threw it at him. There was a pained yelp just seconds before the same rock came flying back and hit me right in the head.

“Hot Wheels to Kitty Kat,” came Billy’s voice and I nearly fell over with the trembling that overtook my body due to my attempt to stay calm and collected. “The garage has been modified to your specifications. It’s scaring the crap out of me so I’ve got to remind you that I want him alive. ALIVE! I don’t trust you to remember that, so I’m going to keep reminding you. DON’T KILL HIM!” Let me tell you, I felt slightly hurt that he would imply that I would do anything of the sort to the man who had my life in his hands before he agreed to help me- after was a completely different story.

“Don’t worry, he’ll be perfectly safe. Nothing more than a few scratches.” Said Sam and I was tempted to scream “Liar” as loud as I could but managed to control myself.

“Sure, Black Alpha, I’ll choose to believe that.” There was an audible “click” that meant that Billy had turned off the walkie-talkie and I decided to take that as sign that I should continue on with the plan.

“Kitty Kat to all troops. Bloodsucker will be entering the house soon, be ready for any possible outcome.” There wasn’t an answer but I didn’t need one, What I did need was a cat collar (the ones with a bell) to put around Edward’s neck because just as I was about to turn to him, I found his face literally three inches away from my own, causing me to fall backgrounds and bite my own tongue to keep from screaming.

“I thought you had supersonic cat hearing?” He asked with a grin and I wished Leah was here so she could smack him. Apparently, I’m not aloud to without either her or Brandon present, that’s the only reason his head isn’t permanently facing the opposite direction.

“Don’t make me hurt you,” I hissed and before my evil-also known as awesome- side could get a hold of me, I calmed down and changed the subject. Yes, I have amazing will power. “Okay, you know what you’re supposed to do, right?” I didn’t wait for the vampire to answer before continuing. “You go in and try to break up with Bella, your presence will hopefully force Jake to run away and we have the house surrounded so he won’t get very far. Keep that communicator whatchamacallit in your ear, it’s turned down so only you can hear it, talk softly if anything goes wrong.” With that I pushed him out of the bushes and watched him stumble onto the road before sending me a glare and walking up to the front door.

I watched intently as Edward knocked on the slab of oak, growled when Bella opened it with a smile and pulled the blond , brunette , person into the house, and cursed my goddess a thousand times when Jake’s voice came through the walkie-talkie in my hand. He apparently wasn’t running. Fuck.

I didn’t listen to the entire conversation but it mostly about how much Bella missed Edward and how happy she was that both he and Jake were able to get along. Jake said very little about this or anything else for that matter. But, I did hear Edward say very softly, “hey, Bella just went to the bathroom, Jake is staring at me strangely, what the hell do I do?”

“Kidnap him,” said Brandon even though I would bet anything that the vampire was talking to me.

“What?” Sam, Edward, and I asked the same time. That wasn’t something you heard very often and when you did, it was almost never said with the same level of enthusiasm as it was at that moment in time.

“Throw him over your shoulder and carry him to his house, I don’t see how this doesn’t make sense.” Brandon explained and I was at a loss for words. I had never felt closer to the crazy dog and I swear I started to tear up a little bit.

“But what about Bella?” asked Edward, he didn’t sound opposed to the idea, not really at least and I knew it had something to do with the man’s vendetta with my mate.

“What’s she going to do? Tell her dad that her vampire boyfriend kidnapped her werewolf best friend? I’d like to hear that conversation and really, unless she mentions that piece of information how many people are going to believe that you overpowered Jake?” I asked. Really, have you seen those two? Jakes all developed and Edward looks like a thirteen year old girl –wait no, that’s unfair to the girl.

“What Kitty Kat is trying to say,” Sam said, “is hurry up because every second that you stand there talking to us is a second closer is she to going feral. So pick up the pace.” Awe! He really does care!

“Fine,” the vampire said exasperated just moments before Jake’s voice came through the walkie-talkie.

“Put me down you overgrown leech! When the pack hears about this you are so going to get it!” Yep, that’s definitely Jake. Only he would assume that people he’s been a jerk to would still want to help him.

“EDWARD!” screamed Bella and my eardrum was permanently damaged due to her insanely high pitched voice.

“Sorry Bella, we’ll talk about this later. Jacob and I have a meeting with a very annoying blonde.” With that Edward exited the house and with a nod in my direction he ran off in the direction of Jake’s house where we had the interrogation room set up.

“Kitty Kat to all troops. Bloodsucker’s mission is complete, head back to home base.” I said and placed the device in my back pocket so I could run in the same direction the vampire had gone.

[Jake’s House]

I walked through the door to the Black’s garage to see Edward tying Jacob to a chair, Billy watching intently but making no move to help his son, and Jake trying desperately to fight the vampire off.

“Alaivera,” Edward said once Jake was restrained. “I’m going home; hopefully I’ll never have to see you again.” He gave me a sarcastic two-fingered solute before walking past me with calculated steps as to not accidently bump my shoulder.

“Are you going to stay?” I asked Billy, totally ignoring Jake’s cursing and growls. “You don’t have to; I promise not to hurt him too bad.”

“No, you do whatever you want. Call if you get hungry or something.” The man wheeled himself out of the room and the garage suddenly became very quiet. Jake seemed to be in shock, unable to believe that his father had simply left him there with me.

“What the hell’s going on?” He asked, his voice a little scratchy from all the screaming he had done in last few minutes. Strangely, I didn’t feel sorry for him.

“Well, my hair faded back to normal a few days ago, it’s supposed to take six weeks but Brandon’s a dumb ass and screwed it up. This is the natural color and I wanted to know if you thought I should keep it like this or dye it back to the gold it was when we first met. I don’t like it like this, it’s nearly white, it makes me look like the female version of Draco Malfoy and normally I’d be okay with that but-“

“SHUT UP!” Jake screamed, rudely cutting me off mid-sentence. “I don’t care about your freakin’ hair, just tell me why the leech kidnapped me and tied me to a chair and why my dad didn’t even seem to care.” Demanding little mutt isn’t he? I can’t even asked his opinion on anything without getting bossed around, it’d hurt my ego if he wasn’t strapped to a chair with no possible way to escape except to be nice to me. That helped.

“Edward kidnapped you because you ran away, he tied you to a chair because otherwise you’d try to hit me and I don’t want to have to hurt you, and your dad doesn’t care because you’re an ass and even he can see that. By the way, he likes me, probably more than you.”

“Fuck you,” he snarled and I smiled as if he had just told me I was the most amazing person in the world. (I am, don’t forget that)

“Anyway, let’s change the topic. You’re my mate, you know this already, what you don’t know dear Jakie is that unless you say the words ‘Alaivera, I take you as my mate’ I’m going to go feral in a little over five days. I understand that you hate me and I hate you, but here’s the thing, I’m not letting you out of this room until you say what I want you to. You will not eat, drink, or sleep until then, if time becomes an issue I will be forced to use physical violence to get what I want.

“I’ve lived for over a hundred years and I will not die because you’re an arrogant jack ass. So, are you going to say what I asked and be a good little dog, or are you going to make this far more difficult then it has to be?” I hadn’t been expecting him to say it, if I had been then I would have asked one of the guys to shoot me a few times because apparently I had lost my mind, but when the glob of saliva landed a few centimeters in front of my foot, I couldn’t help but feel that was a little unnecessary.

“Alright, the hard road it is. This should be fun.” I smirked and pulled the metal fold up chair out from behind the door before setting it up in front of Jake (out of spitting distance of course. That’s just disgusting) and sitting down. I could wait, I could do a lot of things while I waited, he’d break eventually.