Take My Hand

“What are you doing here?” I asked spitefully with all the anger I could stir up at the moment.

Just to give you a little background as to who I was talking to, I was actually having a conversation with Chris – an ex of mine. He was the cliché type of jock that everyone wanted in high school. He slept with practically all the girls of the student body which sucked for me ‘coz apparently, I was one of them. But there was just one good thing about the whole relationship and don’t worry, I never thought I’d get anything out of this either but they all say that I was actually the only one he took seriously. Now I’m not being conceited or anything because it was truly a cold hard fact but even with all that said I didn’t really believe them. But sooner or later each and every cheerleader made it hard for me not to believe because they always tried to tear me down with their death glares.

Chris and I dated during the summer and the relationship was pretty stable and we had tons of fun. We had plenty of the greatest memories that I think neither of us will be able to forget. But as soon as the school year started, everything seemed different. He joined the football team and he caught everyone’s eye. He couldn’t be seen with me because he was afraid that I would be the one that would pull his popularity down. That’s exactly what he reasoned out as soon as we were alone and he decided to break up.

We were right here on this spot in the middle of October and he just ripped me apart and now he wants to get back together? Dream on, asshole.

“C’mon don’t be like that,” he said taking a seat beside me. Fortunately, he kept his hands to himself. I was thankful for that.

“We shouldn’t be talking,” I said getting up and leaving but he grabbed my wrist since my hand was carrying the camera I brought with me.

“Please, just hear me out okay?” he begged. I gave in and sat back down but I looked ahead of me as I stared out at the distance. I watched the kids play in the sandbox remembering the time I used to play in there and have sand in my hair every time I came home.

I kept silent as he started his speech that I think he practiced in front of the mirror a thousand times.

“I’m sorry about breaking up with you for a quite a shallow reason. It didn’t really hit me ‘til now but I just want you to know that every single day I lived through the school year, all I thought about was you. All those games I won as the star quarterback, they were all because of you…”

I didn’t really hear anything anymore since I sorta zoned out. I knew he wasn’t being one bit true. I knew it was another summer fling. Boys like him never change.

Once he stopped talking, or rather once I didn’t hear his voice anymore, I breathed out lightly and turned to face him.

“So? What do you say?” he asked looking desperate. Wow, this boy really knew how to act this all out. No wonder all the girls who were dumb enough to believe him slept with him.

“I don’t want to have anything to do with you,” I said keeping it calm. I didn’t want wrinkles so I guess I shouldn’t be furrowing my eyebrows as much.

I was about to get up and walk away when he stood up with a heavy sigh. Oh this was it, here it comes.

“So you mean everything we did, everything we had, it meant nothing to you?” he said starting an argument. Wow this seemed like some kind of weird déjà vu but only with a weird twist because the roles are switched and he’s the one trying to win me back.

“Dude, didn’t you tell me I was nothing but a fling to you-”

“Please tell me you didn’t just believe that,” he interrupted and I looked at him as if he just said something in another language that I couldn’t decipher or understand.

“How can you expect me not to believe something like that?” I asked in deep exasperation as he clenched his jaw. He was tearing up. I wanted to laugh badly but I’m sure everything would just end up even worse if I did.

“Point is, I didn’t mean it okay?” he stepped forward to the point where he was too close for comfort.

“Wow, is this how you get all the girls under you spell, lie to them just to get in their pants? Oh wait, you don’t even have to answer that because the answer seems pretty clear to me,” I said and he sat back down on the bench.

“You’re the only one I want, Brit.” He mentioned and I rolled my eyes.

“Be real, Chris, you’re nothing but a manwhore who gets too lonely and sexually frustrated. I’m surprised you’re not checked into rehab for being some kind of sex addict,” I said placing the strap of the camera around my neck so I could cross my arms across my chest as I talked to him.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said looking to the side before looking up at me. “You don’t know how much I regret dumping you. I’d take it all back if I could,”

“You’re making no sense,” I said shaking my head at him.

“I never slept with anyone except Stacy,” he confessed looking at the floor. Stacy was the head cheerleader.

“Yeah, sure,” I said sarcastically.

“I’m serious. She only told the whole school that I slept with people because when she and I slept together, I was drunk and I said your name. She told me the next day that if I didn’t break it off with you, she’d spread rumours about me in school so that’s why I had to end it with you but even once I did that, she still spread the false rumour to the whole student body. The boys on the team praised me but only Stacy and I knew that none of what they praised me for was one bit true. Brit, I had to keep a straight face for my coach and the school. Everyone depended on me. But nothing meant anything anymore since I wasn’t with you. Brittany Addison Taylor, you were and still are my everything. I am so sorry about what I put you through but it’s all over now and we can finally be together,”

My stance loosened up as tears started pouring from his eyes. I couldn’t take it anymore so I ran off to the direction of my house. Even if he was an athlete, I still beat him when it came to sprinting. So I took this an advantage to get to my house first and locked the front door so he couldn’t get in. I slid down the door and sat on the floor as I burst into tears. I couldn’t breathe properly and it was getting blurry.

It only took a couple of seconds before a second pair of footsteps ran up the front porch.

“Brit, please, open up,” he begged. I heard something thud on the door. I guess he must be leaning against it.

“No,” I said inaudibly through the ball in my throat. I put my camera next to me and hugged my knees as I cried my eyes out.

I wasn’t really sure why I was getting all emotional on this. I didn’t know if I was crying because I believed him or because after everything that he put me through, he still has the nerve to lie to me.

It was silent for a while until I heard someone else get on the porch. I didn’t really recognize who it was since that person was talking softly but Chris was reacting violently telling the other person to back off because it was none of his or her business.

I slowly opened the door just in time to see Jack and Chris in a heated conversation. Chris was about to strike a punch when I pulled his shirt harshly.

“Stop it the two of you,” I whispered hoarsely. The statement might have been meant for the two of them but I didn’t want to look at Jack.

“Dude, I think you need to leave.” Jack demanded. I watched Chris intently and let go of his now crumpled shirt as he briskly walked down the porch cursing.

I was about to turn to Jack but he was already in the middle of the yard heading back to his house.

“That’s it? No questions?” I asked chasing him down as I placed a hand on his shoulder to spin him around.

He looked tired and suddenly, there were circles under his eyes. “What else did you want?” he asked shrugging off the hand that I placed on his shoulder.

“Jack, why did you do that?” I asked. I wasn’t really thinking straight anymore due to all the drama that occurred today. My head throbbed in so much pain and my mind could think of the right questions to ask him.

“I actually did something decent and you question me about that too?” he asked bitterly.

“You didn’t have to do that,” I whispered as I stared at the blades of grass beneath us. The sun was about to set in a while and it was starting to get dark.

“Well, sorry for trying to be a nice person. I didn’t know that was such a big problem,” he said sarcastically making more tears pour out of my eyes.

“Jack, I don’t want it to be this way anymore.” I said begging for his forgiveness. “Can we just start over?”

“You crossed a big line,” was all he said.

“Jack, do you know exactly how guilty I feel right now just because of what I did today?” I asked speaking with my eyes closed since my eyes were starting to hurt.

He kept silent as I opened my eyes a bit. I watched him closely as his face softened. He looked to the side not really knowing what to say anymore.

“Look, the reason I kicked that boy from your front porch was because I saw you from my living room window crying. I got out of my house knowing he was trouble. Even if we are in some kind of argument now, we’re still friends and I still care about you. So no matter how much I tell myself that maybe I was wrong to think you were someone trustworthy, I just end up shoving those thoughts away because…” he trailed off not really knowing what to say.

“Because, what?” I asked him eagerly.

He looked up at me and sighed. “I can't stay angry with you, Brit. I don’t know why. You have this kind of effect on me that tells me that you’re someone I have to protect no matter what. My mind couldn’t stop thinking about you after that argument we had and maybe I sorta overreacted but, I don’t know,” he said rubbing the back of his neck as he looked at the ground.

“Jack you don’t have to forgive me this quickly,” I said. I know that might have sounded stupid but it seemed like the right thing to say.

“No matter how much I don’t want to, I can’t,” he said smiling sheepishly at me.

He sighed before pulling me into a hug.

“C’mon, it’s getting late,” he said pulling away. He grabbed my hand and led us both to his house.

We ate some pizza that he apparently bought but couldn’t finish by himself. Was he wallowing this whole time? I didn’t want to think about it so I just shrugged the thought off.

Once we were both stuffed, we washed up and settled on the couch to watch some more movies. Jack slept after the middle of the first movie. I guess he was really tired.

My phone buzzed and told me that I had a text message. I checked my phone and didn’t find Stephen’s annoying name on the screen. It was Chris. He told me that our conversation wasn’t over yet and we had to meet again some time.

Did he think I was an idiot? I deleted the message as I went to the bathroom. I got up from the couch without waking Jack to splash my face with some water. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought about the whole Chris situation. Was he actually telling the truth? He did sound pretty convincing and while we were together, he hardly knew how to tell a lie. I didn’t know him anymore when school started since we never really talked to each other so I don’t really know if he was telling the whole world about his fake sex life or not.

I don’t know what I’m gonna do about this but I don’t think that mattered anymore since I have better friends now. I didn’t need him anymore. He was nothing but a useless liar.

But as I say these things, I begin to think about Stacy and how she tells lies about everyone to make them feel bad. I didn’t know she could do that to popular people too. I mean I thought they were all in one group because they were friends.

I didn’t think I’d actually spend time thinking about high school during the summer but here I am thinking about it.

I hated Chris for actually bringing everything back up. But maybe if he never saw me in the park today, Jack and I would still be in the worse terms possible.

So was his reappearance really a good thing or a bad thing? I don’t really know but hopefully someday, I’ll find out.