Take My Hand

Kristine Dubose. I stared at her with a normal expression for everyone to see but deep inside, I wanted to stab a knife into her back and watch the blood spill all over the venue floor. She deserved it for stabbing me at the back first.

Well maybe I’m being a little irrational and inconsiderate since she and I haven’t kept in contact since but the reason behind why I wanted to stab her wasn’t only because she was here and slutting it up to Jack. It’s the fact that she had the guts to even show her face here after everything she’s done to him. The whole text thing with Jack is still a shrouded mystery but now wouldn’t really be a good time for me to complain about that since I didn’t want to be rude.

Zack, Alex and Rian stared at me while I looked at Kristy and Jack who until now were still hugging. Jack didn’t wrap his arms around her at all. He was staring right at me this whole time and it was getting sorta awkward so Kristy let go and time started moving again.

Jack had this sympathetic look on his face the whole time he held a conversation with Kristy. I didn’t want to have to think about what they might say to each other or how the whole talk they’re having right now might go about so I stepped aside and started walking towards a certain direction.

Maybe it would seem weird that I just sorta walked away but at least I didn’t do it in tears or anything. My face was emotionless the whole time I was there so I didn’t really give much away.

I didn’t know why I felt like breaking down. I mean it’s still gonna be Jack and me no matter what, right? I mean just because Kristy’s here doesn’t mean that our relationship would crumble into to pieces, does it? Should I be worried at all about this? Is this a bump in the road that I have to smoothen out? A challenge that awaits my sword? Okay, now I’m talking nonsense.

I walked towards the Hurley stage without a camera. I realized that when I saw the photographers showing their passes to the guards to let them in the area that other people without passes couldn’t go to. I had a pass but I didn’t have a camera so what was I supposed to do?

“Señorita?” Gabe’s voice chimed in from behind me.

I turned back and smiled at him but he only frowned in return.

“What are you doing here?” he asked me and I just shrugged.

“I needed to get away for a while,” I told him honestly and he sighed before pulling me into a hug.

“Don’t worry, that bitch won’t come close to getting back with him,” he assured me but something in me told me not to believe him. I should really start thinking more optimistically.

“But you don’t know that,” I said as soon as he pulled away.

“Yes I do,” he said narrowing his eyes at me.

“Saporta! You’re on in five!” a roadie yelled from the backstage.

Gabe looked at me sympathetically before hugging me one more time and running to the back to get ready for the show.

“Good luck!” I managed to say before he was fully gone. He turned back and nodded at me before shutting the door.

So there I was alone again with my thoughts. I knew that I really didn’t want to be alone but hell; there was nothing I could do about it. Deep inside, there was this gut feeling that told me that if I continued to pretend that everything was okay and perfect, I’d end up getting really hurt. Kristy was bad news and I knew about it. But how was I supposed to deal with her? How was I supposed to prove that she really was bad news and that me saying that wasn’t just a false accusation?

I heaved a heavy sigh before turning around and walking back to the bus. I might as well do something productive with my camera than waste the hours just thinking to myself. Besides, Jack wasn’t the only reason why I came along, was it?

Well maybe at first it sorta was but as time passed, I made new friends and I discovered new things. I made memorable experiences and enhanced my photography skills. Well the last one might not have been totally true but there was a little improvement on the angling and crap like that.

I walked back to the bus and saw that no one was standing in front of the door anymore. I went in without warning and grabbed my camera from my bunk.

A new set of bags were dumped in the living room. Did that mean that Kristy was bunking with us as well? Because if she was then I’d have to head over to either The Maine’s bus or Cobra’s bus to sleep. There was no way that she and I would share the same bus. She was like a plague to me now and I know that that isn’t fair but the whole reason that she’s here now isn’t fair either.

I bet she’s gonna be talking to Jack all day and all night since she doesn’t really get along with the rest of the guys. She’s gonna be talking to Jack about how she misses him and shit like that and its all in line with the evil plan she has of getting him back or something twisted and stupid like that. But does she even know that he and I are together now? Because if she didn’t, then she had to; I’d tell her myself.

“Oh Jack, stop that,” I heard Kristy giggle from one of the top bunks.

Heat started boiling up inside of me. I didn’t even notice that the top bunk on my left had its curtains drawn. I looked up and narrowed my eyes at it as she continued to giggle. I wanted to pull it open badly just to see what they were doing but I knew that that would be wrong and awkward so I guess it would be best to just stay away for now. Jack would tell me if something happened, right?

I rolled my eyes at her giggles and made my way out of the bus and onto the grounds where Cobra’s music was blasting out the speakers. The beat matched with the rhythm of my heart and it felt so good. It was as if the energy Gabe had in him when he sang slowly spread throughout the venue making me more light-hearted and less angry.

I showed off a real smile before running towards the Hurley stage and showing the guard my pass. He let me in without further questioning and I started taking pictures of the whole band.

*** *** ***

“Zack, I told you for the hundredth time, I’m fine okay?” I said exasperatedly.

I was getting sick and tired of everyone’s sympathy. I mean I knew they were only asking because they were anxious about me and they wanted to know if I was okay with everything but this is just too much.

Today, about eighteen people asked if I needed anything – a person to talk to, some one to lend a shoulder to cry on, someone to go out and have some reckless fun with. They seriously didn’t get the message that I was trying to convey to them but then again maybe they saw right through me. But am I that obvious about everything? I mean since I left the bus, I haven’t seen Kristy or Jack so I had no reason to burst into anger or anything like that. But they still thought that I was affected by Kristy’s presence.

“Well, you don’t look fine,” he said and I turned my head towards him as I raised a questioning eyebrow.

“How so?” I asked him but he replied with only a shrug.

Zack and I were out getting something to eat at McDonald’s. No one else wanted to come with us so we ended up just going alone together. I got a cheeseburger with fries and a Coke while he got a Big Mac with curly fries and a Sprite.

We sat a booth and ate away our food while talking about the whole situation. I tried to avoid it but getting it past Zack was apparently impossible.

“Look, you don’t have to act that you’re okay in front of everyone. You shouldn’t hide your feelings away or anything. No one’s asking you to stop expressing yourself,” he said all of a sudden after munching on the last of his burger.

“I’m not putting on a show, Zachary,” I told him but he rolled his eyes at my statement.

“Brit, that attitude really won’t get you anywhere. You of all people should know that,” he told me and I guess it was sorta true so I just nodded as I looked out the window.

Speak of the devil, he had his tongue down her throat and he wasn’t doing anything to push her away.

She was so dead to me now. Wait, make that the two of them.