Take My Hand

I got up from the booth and Zack looked at me questioningly. I cocked my head to the side and he saw what I did and got up with me. He gave me a sympathetic smile but I just felt angry. I wanted to rip Jack’s head from his body but at the same time I didn’t. This was all Kristy’s fault. If she never showed up, none of this would ever have happened.

“Let’s go,” Zack simply said taking my hand and leading me out the door.

I just followed right behind him as we started to walk towards them. I was pulling back a little but Zack made it impossible for me to escape him. He looked at me with a face of determination as we confronted them. Kristy had this evil triumphant look on her face. Was this all a game to her? Was she here to do the same things all over? Did she know beforehand that I would be here? Why did she want to fuck things up for me?

“What the hell is wrong with you, Jack?” Zack asked letting go of my hand so he can push Jack in the chest. It sent him moving back more than a couple of steps.

Kristy looked at me with those deceiving eyes. It was like she was trying to get a message through me but I didn’t want to get any of it. She was trying to tell me that she won Jack but I never really knew we were playing a game.

“Zack, don’t,” I said walking over to both of them and leaving Kristy on her own. I despised her greatly and nothing she’ll do or say will change the way I look at her.

Jack looked at me again with those sympathetic eyes and I just didn’t get anything anymore. Why was he looking at me like that? I knew that there was something he wanted to say but I don’t know why he chose to keep it secret.

“Punch me, I probably deserve it,” he said emotionlessly as he averted his focus to Zack who at this point was fuming.

“Don’t give me that shit, Barakat,” Zack said boiling up even more.

“Zack, please just stop,” he wasn’t listening to me. I hated how I had no say in situations like this.

“Brit, he needs this,” Zack said through gritted teeth as he kept his eyes towards Jack who was staring back at him defencelessly.

“I don’t care, okay? Just don’t do it!” I said frustrated. That got his attention. “He can live his life the way he wants to and if he chooses to live it like this then so be it,” I told him. “I won’t be here forever anyway,” I looked at Jack who seemed pained about everything.

“Let’s just go,” I told Zack and grabbed his hand before walking away.

We didn’t speak another word to each other once we reached the bus. It might’ve been dark outside but I didn’t want to stay in the bus yet. I leaned on the back of the bus watching people pass me by. Some of the noticing me and saying ‘hi’ while others just simply walking by.

The sound of giggling came from a distance and I knew that they were back. I heard the bus door open and close but there was only one pair of feet that got inside. I peered to the side of the bus just to see Jack leaning on the bus. I knew that staying here and doing nothing about this wouldn’t get me anywhere so I walked up to him and showed myself to him.

He was about to hold me when I pushed him away.

“Can I ask you something?” I said leaning against the bus beside him. I didn’t want to meet his eyes so I just looked forward. “Why are you back with her?”

“I don’t have a choice,” he said. I furrowed my eyebrows in question as I turned to look at him.

“What do you mean?” My voice was softer now. I didn’t know why I couldn’t stay mad at him. Maybe being blinded by my infatuation with him did this to me.

“Brit, she’s pregnant with my baby,” he said and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets.

“But I thought you haven’t seen her in months,” I said remembering everything Zack told me at Starbucks back home.

“Well, before I left and moved away, I saw her secretly. I mean I was drunk at this party the guys threw for me about moving on. It was held at this club and we were just drinking our asses off because I was finally free from her and crap like that. The guys left ahead of me since I told them that I needed some time alone. She was there that night and I couldn’t believe I didn’t see her but she came to me as soon as the guys left. We ended up spending the night at her place and she didn’t take a pill.” So much emotion came out of him just then and it looked like he was about to cry. He regretted everything. It was evident in the way he spoke about that night.

“Jack, I-I’m really sorry,” I said feeling every bit of sympathy from him. Everyone was ganging up on him for being with her and it was like he was drowning in all the pain that he felt.

“There’s no need for you to apologize. This is all my fault. I missed her then but now, I want her gone.” He said crossing his arms over his chest.

“How far along is she?” I asked him and he looked at me.

“Two months,” he said. “She wants to keep the baby but I don’t want anything to do with it. Brittany, I want to be with you. Not her! If I want a baby, I want you to be the mom. Not her.” He spat angrily as he heaved a heavy sigh.

“Jack, I don’t know what to say,” I whispered to him.

“Just say you love me too and I’ll be okay,” he told me.

He grabbed my hand and kissed me on the lips. I knew that there would be no one else but him for me but the situation we were in was impossible. I don’t know what to do anymore.