Take My Hand

I dozed off after I looked at Jack. I couldn’t take hearing their conversation anymore and the stinging in my eyes wasn’t helping. Someone must’ve brought me back to my bunk because when I woke up this morning, there was a blanket on top of me and my curtains were drawn.

I grabbed my phone from under my pillow to check the time and it said that it was half past nine. I yawned as I got out of bed and was going to use the bathroom when I heard someone hurling from inside.

Great, morning sickness. That’s something I can totally deal with. Not. I turned my heel and walked to the kitchen where Rian was situated eating a sandwich with I’m guessing peanut butter in it because that’s the only kind of spread we have here.

“Why can’t you guys buy something chocolate-y for once?” I asked scratching my head as I opened the fridge.

“What, you’re having cravings too?” he asked in a bitter tone. I turned my head to look at him to see if he was joking but he was dead serious. What did I do now? “Sorry, it’s just that I hate having her here. Hearing her puke her guts out every hour she’s awake isn’t helping the whole situation. She’s like a nightmare brought to life and I don’t understand what I did to deserve this kind of torment. It’s just not right.” Rian rambled on.

I rolled my eyes at his choice of words and kept my mouth shut because Kristy came out of the bathroom. Where the hell was I supposed to take a bath and do my business now? I didn’t want to go in there. Not after what she did.

“Oh hey Brit,” she greeted as soon as she took her seat next to Rian.

Rian scrunched his face in disgust and I swear his expression was drop dead, the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in a while. Sad thing is that I can’t laugh at it because Kristy would ask and then I’d tell her and then she’d probably throw a fit due to her mood swings.

“Uh, hey,” I said rather awkwardly as I continued to look for food in the fridge.

I grabbed an apple and washed it in the sink before taking a bite. Rian was already up and about ready to leave. The rest of the guys weren’t on the bus anymore. I didn’t want to be here with her alone so I went to the bunk area and grabbed a new set of clothes so I could change and prepare for the day ahead of me. Hopefully that day won’t include having to spend time with her or even talking to her.

“Look, I know coming back here ruined your chances of being with Jack. I know he’s a great guy and soon he’ll be a great father. Let’s just face it. We both now that we’re right for each other and I’d hate to say this but I really want to ask you to stop being a whore. I saw you kissing him last night and I know it’s been hard for you to cope with everything but I think it’s time for you to move on.” She said and I turned around slowly – for dramatic effect – to look at her straight in the eye with mixed feelings of confusion and anger.

She was scared. At least I knew I could scare her like this. “Excuse me?” I said and she breathed in deeply.

“I know we haven’t seen each other for a really long time but I didn’t know you’d turn into someone who’d go for a guy that’s taken already. I mean come on, Brit. I thought we were best friends.” Is she even listening to herself right now?

“Look, don’t pretend like I don’t know what you did to Jack the last time you were with him. I know about the whole break up and how you treated him like shit the whole time you were in a relationship. I know everything Kristy so don’t act like you’re fucking innocent because everybody in this goddamn tour knows that you’re the fucking whore who’s been slutting it up to pretty much anything and everything that walks,” All my frustration just flew out of me and drove it like a knife to her heart. She was pretty much in awe after I said what I did.

“You don’t even know half of what went on with us,” she said with tears welling in her eyes. Oh boo-hoo, like I’d give a damn if a tear falls from her shitty face.

“Oh please, save the theatrics for a crowd that’s willing to watch it,” I told her as I walked past her to the bathroom with clothes in hand. I didn’t like the thought of having to go in there but I didn’t really have a choice. It was either that or stand with her in the same hallway feeling awkward.

I locked myself in the bathroom and listened for any footsteps that would signify her movement. Nothing. She was standing still in her spot but I didn’t really care. She could stand there for as long as she wanted.

I washed up a little before changing. Luckily I left my bag of necessities in the bathroom. I just hope Kristy didn’t touch any of it or I’d totally punch her in the stomach and make sure she had a miscarriage. I was this close to doing that. She got me so fucking pissed and the last thing I want her to do is touch my stuff without permission. I just wish this whole thing was over with already so I can live my life the way I fucking want to because she’s one hell of a hindrance.

After I freshened up, I towelled myself dry and put on my clothes. I brushed my teeth and then blow-dried my hair. Once I thought I felt good enough, I opened the door and went out with my laundry in one hand. I placed them inside my bag filled with laundry under my bed. When I got up, I felt someone grab me by using the hair at the back of my hair and spinning me around.

Kristy bitch-slapped me right across the face. Her eyes were bloodshot and tears were streaming down her face.

“Bitch, what the fuck is your problem?!” I exclaimed as she backed away from me probably afraid that I might hit her back. I held the part that hurt the most. How in the world did she have hands as heavy as bricks?

“You! You’re my problem! You’re the one taking what’s most important away from me!” She cried hysterically and I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, I’m the one who went out and cheated on a guy who deserved better the whole time I was with him,” I said with pure sarcasm in my voice.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up!” She said covering her ears. God, I swear I could’ve punched her in the face.

“You know what, whatever,” I said anger boiling up from inside me. “Have fun living the rest of your fucking fucked up life the way you fucking want to because I’m done with you and your fucking problems.” I walked briskly to the front of the bus with a scowl on my face and went down the steps to join the rest of civilization.

I wanted to scream but I didn’t want to be heard. I wanted to run so far but I didn’t want people to think I was crazy. I wanted to punch something but I knew the only thing I’d be destroying is my hand.

There were so many things I wanted to do. But there was one thing that I wanted to do the most: punch Kristy in the fucking stomach and hope to God that her baby dies and she dies along with it. Then, I’d be happy and I’d love life every single second of every single day.

But I know that if I did it, someone would possibly hate me forever and I didn’t want to risk it. I didn’t even strike back because of the same reason but maybe this could be a good thing. Or not.