Take My Hand

Zack and I had a great day at the park. We stayed there until the sun fell and the moon rose. It was nearing seven and we hadn’t had anything to eat yet. I watched him take a picture of the horizon before I came up to him and told him that we should really be getting back now.

“Without a decent dinner? I don’t think so,” he said and I smiled.

“And where exactly are we getting this decent dinner?” I asked him as he looked around.

“Well, there’s a diner right there. Wanna check it out?” he asked and I nodded.

We walked towards the diner which was a block away from the park. It took me a while to realize that it was actually connected to a beach. I smiled at what I saw and went inside the beach before going in the diner. Zack was behind me the whole time. I wasn’t sure if this was all spontaneous or planned. I just hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea out of all this. We were only friends after all.

“Thanks for today Zack. I had fun,” I told him as I let my feet play with the sand beneath me. “It definitely got my mind off things.” I said with a smiled as I looked up at him.

“Anytime,” he said leaning into me. I thought that this was where he would put his lips on me and where I’d push him away and tell him that I wouldn’t want to make things awkward between us but he just pulled me into a hug.

I was surprised that he didn’t try to cross the line of friendship we had but I was also relieved. I mean if he did try something, it would only add to my long list of problems that he already knows about. He was being considerate and I thought that that was nice.

Once we separated, we went in the diner and had a decent meal which Zack paid for. I wanted to pitch in but he wouldn’t let me. I mean I should probably be somewhat relieved right now since I didn’t have to spend any more money but instead I felt kinda guilty for not contributing even a single cent. I mean it wasn’t as if we were on a date. He wasn’t obliged to pay for me.

“You know, it would’ve been fine if I paid for my share.” I told him as we went out of the diner and made our way back to the parking lot.

“Don’t worry about it,” he told me looking straight ahead as he spoke.

The rest of the walk back was spent in silence. He made no attempt to reach out for my hand or anything that might have made the walk uncomfortable. I don’t even know why I’m complaining or thinking about the whole situation so much. I mean this is supposed to be a good thing so why am I thinking about things that might complicate the kind of relationship we were in? Could it be because of the setting? Is it maybe because we’re both alone and that if maybe there were people watching people, they’d immediately think we were on a date or something? I don’t get it. Am I looking for something more?

When we reach the bus, I stop a few inches away from the door. The lights inside were on and I heard laughter inside. It was almost as if everything was okay again. I didn’t want to go back in there and then ruin everything. I bit my lip as I contemplated on whether or not getting inside the bus was a good idea.

“What are you waiting for?” Zack asked as soon as he noticed me stop.

“I don’t know if I should go in there,” I told him but he rolled his eyes at me.

“I’ll drag you in if I have to,” he said grabbing my wrist before I could even retaliate.

“Zack, I’m serious.” I say but he doesn’t listen.

“I am too,” he said.

The door opens and then silence fills the bus. Zack climbs up first and I follow hesitantly but as soon as I look inside, I notice that Jack and Alex are not even on the bus. I sigh in relief silently as I continue walking to the back of the bus.

Rian and the rest of the crew welcome me back with hugs. They told me about how they missed me and stuff like that and I’m just happy to be around these people again. In a span of a few weeks, they’ve become my family and that’s more than I can ever ask for right now.

We all just sat and played a few games of spin the bottle. The amount of fun I was having made me realize that maybe coming back wasn’t the worst idea I could ever think of. I was beginning to feel more at home with every minute that passed me by. Maybe the alcohol was the one that made me think I felt right at home right now but I don’t know. Maybe this feeling was real and not just some drunk thought I’d forget about in the morning.

It was all just fun and games until we all had a truth round. Each person had to answer a question no matter how embarrassing or farfetched it might be. I was turning slightly anxious as the Matt spun the bottle. It started slowing down and then it stopped. It was pointing right at me.

“Hmm, what shall we ask Brit?” he asked looking at the guys who had weird snickers on their faces. Next thing I knew, they were all huddling up so that they could agree on the best question that they could make me answer.

Once they were all out of their little conference, they all leaned back on their chairs. I raised my eyebrows at Zack but he didn’t seem too into what they had planned. It was almost as if he thought it was going to turn out bad. I waited nervously as I turned to Rian who was about ready to ask me something.

“Do you regret making love to Jack?” Rian asked and my eyes almost popped out of their sockets. I was definitely not expecting that.

“Um, I don’t really know,” I said earning boos from Flyzik, Vinny and Evan.

“Come on, we want a juicier answer,” Evan said and I rolled my eyes at him.

“Well, I guess I don’t really regret it. I mean I did like him and I trusted him and he might’ve done something that I thought was beyond stupid but I think that maybe I’m ready to forgive him.

They were all aww-ing at what I said and I just shook my head at them as I took another swig of beer and I spun the bottle. But before the bottle could stop turning, the door opened and I heard girls giggling. They climbed up the bus and were followed by both Alex and Jack. Why am I not surprised?

I looked at Zack who wouldn’t even look me in the eye.

“You’re kidding me, right?” I asked getting up as I kept my eyes on a shocked Jack.

I was wrong. Maybe I wasn’t ready to make things right with him just yet.