Take My Hand

Jack and I spent the whole afternoon in the mall. To tell you the truth, I almost forgot about what happened with my mom and about what Stephen said. We tried out different boutiques as we looked for ‘the perfect dress’ – as Jack mentioned.

“Jack, I can just wear a simple dress and it really wouldn’t make a difference,” I complained looking through probably the ten thousandth rack today.

“C’mon Brit,” he said cutting my name short. A lot of people called me that but there was a certain edge to it when he said it. “I want you to be the finest looking girl in the party,” he said checking out the dresses on the opposite rack.

“I bet we’ll get stuck here the whole day trying to look for ‘the perfect dress’,” I said using air quotes and he rolled his eyes at me as he tried desperately to find the dress that would shut me up.

“Okay, you have to buy me a Chocolate Caramel Frappucino if I win,” he said with his game face on.

“Oh you are so on,” I said doubting that he’ll win. “But if I win and we get out of here empty handed, you have to get me a Blueberry Cheesecake.” I said getting even hungrier as I thought about that cheesecake. I didn’t get to eat breakfast and it was almost time for lunch and my stomach was growling like crazy.

I couldn’t help but smile but I also wondered why he wanted me to look hot for the party so I asked him. He thought hard about it but when he couldn’t think of a clever answer, he pushed the question aside.

“Just because, okay?” he answered vaguely.

I went over to the rack he was looking at and started searching for the one dress that we’d both agreed on. I’ve tried on several things but we never agreed on anything. It was always too revealing for me or too plain for him. I didn’t even know if we were ever going to agree on anything but it was worth a try. Besides, being with him made me feel happier than I’ve ever been in a while.

“What about this one?” he pulled out a magenta tube dress that I guess revealed just enough skin I was comfortable with. He gave out a cocky grin.

I sighed in defeat as I grabbed the dress from him. In all honesty, it did look like a nice dress. I took it with me and looked for the nearest dressing room. He sat on the sofa that was placed right in front of the cubicles that was meant for people to wait.

I changed quickly into it since I was so curious about what I looked like in the dress Jack picked. Once I zipped up the zipper, I looked at myself in the full length mirror that was right in front of me. I tilted my head to the side and smiled. This was the first time I was ever happy with the way I looked and it creeped the hell out of me.

I changed back into my clothes and then went out of the dressing room to find Jack really excited but his excitement went away once he saw the dress on my arm and me in the clothes I wore coming to the mall.

“Fine, I’ll admit. The dress is pretty nice,” I said and he smirked. “But the price is really, really nice too,” I said looking down at the price tag.

“That’s fine, really. Let me pay for it,” he said winking at me taking the dress from my hand. He was about to walk to the cashier when I grabbed the back of his shirt urging him to wait.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said taking the dress from him. “If there’s any paying going on here, it’s gonna be on me,”

“Brit, you’re going to be buying me a Frappucino so I might as well just pay for the dress,” he said about to take the dress from me but I moved it away from his hand.

“You do know that your rationalizing skills aren’t good, right?” I asked in a reassuring tone.

“Just hand me the dress, will you?” he said putting his hand out for the dress.

I really didn’t want to hand it over but as soon as he saw me not moving, he took the dress from me and ran to the cashier before I could say anything else.

As soon as he paid for the dress with the cash he had in his very wallet, we started to walk around the mall to look for the nearest Starbucks outlet so that I could honor my word and buy him his Frappucino. Once I ordered what he wanted, I told the barista to add in a Ham and Swiss Sandwich which I made them split into two. They called my name as soon as I was through paying. I grabbed the tray with everything I asked for and went over to the table where Jack was seated. The bag with the dress was right beside him and he kept the receipt so that I wouldn’t return it when he was in the comfort room or something like that. That boy has the weirdest imagination ever.

I was going to pay him back someday but right now, I guess all I can do is thank him for everything he’s done for me.

We were just chatting as we ate our sandwiches when suddenly he started talking about his band.

“So you’re saying that you guys are going on tour a week from now and you guys won’t be coming back for another two months or so?” I asked him after almost choking on the last bite I had of my sandwich.

“Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m saying,” he said sipping his Frappe while looking outside the window.

“What do you expect me to do while you’re gone?” I asked in so much exasperation.

I know we just met and all but he can’t just drop a big bomb like that on me. I watched as his eyes turned to me with some kind of sadness.

“Well, I guess…” he tried thinking of the right words to say but nothing came out so he just looked down at the bread crumbs he had on his plate.

“Jack, I’m going to miss you so much,” I said slumping in my seat. I had this feeling that I’ve sorta known him forever but it wasn’t humanly possible since I’ve never really seen his face before.

“I have an idea!” he exclaimed catching the attention of the couple who just walked in through the doors right beside our table.

“Okay, what is it?” I asked hoping it was something practical or at least something that we could do without much of a problem.

“You could come along with us!” he proclaimed.

“What?” I asked surprised. Well I guess it was doable but was it possible for me to survive?

“It’s a great idea, trust me,” he said with a wink.

“Jack, what will I be doing while you’re on stage singing or hanging out with your friends who I don't know, huh?” I crossed my arms in front of my chest as he thought of an answer.

“Didn’t you say you like photography?” he asked and I smiled as I realized that he remembered that part of the description I gave to him about me.

“Yeah, what’s your point?” I asked not really knowing where he was going with all of this.

“Well, maybe this summer, you could practice on live subjects, otherwise known as my band on stage,” he said with a big grin on his face.

He was a smart one, I’ll tell you that.

I didn’t really have a sure course for college yet but I’ve been deciding to take up photography. I could actually see myself as a photographer all grown-up and having fun with my job. I might not have the biggest salary but I could make sure that I’d get by just fine.

“Well, I guess that’s a good idea,” I said considering it for a while. “But how am I supposed to explain all of this to my mother and Stephen?” I thought that I was actually free from the people that hurt me today but I guess they had to pop right back up sometime. I mean they’re family so I guess they'll always be somewhere in my subconscious mind or maybe at the back of my head.

“You could leave them a note,” he said hesitantly.

He looked me straight in the eyes as I thought of a way to let them know what I was planning. I did like the fact that I was going to be on tour with a lot of people and that I’d have tons of subjects for my photography but leaving on a bad note didn’t really seem like a good idea.

What am I saying? Did I actually care about them when they hardly gave a damn about me? They’re the ones holding me back. They’ve always held me back from the things I’ve wanted to do so why was I thinking of them?

“Okay, I think I can work things out with them,” I lied.

“Great!” he said happily as he stood up.

I stood up as a pang of guilt rushed around my body. I smiled at him synthetically and he bought it just like that. He had the bag that held my dress in his hand as he placed his free arm around my shoulder. Nice move, I thought silently to myself.

“If you don’t mind me asking, can you tell me what happened before you came back over to my place?” he asked reluctantly looking down at me hoping he didn’t hurt me in any way.

“Well, when I went home, my mother scolded me for not thinking about the possibilities of what might’ve happened if you were some creepy, perverted guy who wanted to lock me up in your house and rape me,” I said as we were walking and I looked at him with a smile tugging at my lips.

“That’s seriously what she thought about me?” he placed the hand that was holding the paper bag over his heart giving off a hurt gesture.

I laughed at him as he pouted for more dramatic effect. “Well that’s not exactly what she said. I was paraphrasing,” I said and he smiled.

“You didn’t seem this happy when you called me right after,” he said with worry wrapped around the tone of his voice.

“Well that was because the words my mother used were harsher,” I said looking down at the tiles on the floor we were walking on.

I told him about how my mother really reacted and all the harsh things she said. I told him about her thinking I was stupid for not reflecting on my actions well enough. I told him about what happened when I came back downstairs to eat some breakfast but ended up just standing in the kitchen watching my mother leave and how my brother reacted to the answer I gave my mother after she asked me if I wanted to go with her and visit Grandma.

“You’re brother had no right to say that to you,” by now we were already in the parking lot heading back to the space where Jack parked his car.

“Jack, it doesn’t matter, just let it go,” I said feeling sorta gloomy again but relieved as well after sharing what happened to me this morning. It was good to vent out with an awesome friend by your side.

“It does matter, Brit,” he said opening the door for me after unlocking the car. I slid in and shut the door as I watched him walk around the car and into the driver’s seat. “He’s supposed to be your brother. He’s not supposed to call you that,” he said protectively.

I watched him anxiously as he placed the paper bag at the back and started the ignition so that he could back away from the parking space.

Once he hit the pavement, he sighed with deep and heavy thoughts.

“Jack, I know what you mean but there’s nothing you and I can do about it,” I said looking out the window, afraid of what might happen if I looked right into his dark brown eyes.

“But if you could just-“

“Jack, trust me, no matter what I say to him, he’ll never listen,” I said hoping that he’d change the subject.

“Then maybe I need to teach him a lesson,” he said and I turned my head to look at him with shock in my eyes.

He was gripping the steering wheel tightly. I bit my bottom lip as the tension he was feeling surrounded us. “No, there will be no lesson teaching here,” I said and he huffed a sigh.

“Then what can I do about this then?” he asked loosening his grip on the steering wheel.

“Just be there for me when I need you,” I said looking at him. He looked at me and then back at the road not wanting to meet an accident.

He let the silence surround us as we went back to his place. I didn’t know what else I wanted him to do for me. He’s done so much and I can’t even begin to think of a way to repay him but maybe someday, I will. I know I will.