I Haven't Got A Problem, I Just Don't Eat.
Chapter Four
I've been here for three weeks yesterday. God this is such a god forsaken place. All the stupid councillors, I mean seriously, there's no need to be that happy all the frigging time. But it is so worth it to put up with all their fake smiles to see them get pissed off, and little old me knows exactly how to do that! They get so mad sometimes, makes you wonder if they see therapists too...
Anyhow, my first encounter with the devil that rests under all that fake bliss was my second day here. My first was just being introduced to the place, you know the meeting crazy people, being showed around, all that exceptionally exciting stuff. It was so exciting in fact, that I thought me making something up and telling everybody that I have six months to live would fit right in with the regime.
I share a room with a chick called Alley, and she has to be the most retarded person you have ever met. Ever. She's in here for her drug addiction- she's so stupid she probably thought that cocaine she was sniffing was an anti-hay fever medicine. Stupid bitch. Anyway, the second morning bright spark on the other side of the room was trying to figure out my story. She made assumptions, I lay there silent. After like fifteen minutes of sheer torture bright spark came up with, "It's because of boys, isn't it?"
Well woopdidoo, she actualy said something that might of made the slightest bit of sense to anyone but me. But it wasn't right, I did this because I want to. I'm in control of my life and I CAN'T be steered in any random direction someone chooses. But of course this annoyed me.
"You want to know why? it's because I have cancer and have been given six months to live. I stopped eating because it isn't fair that this stupid retarded body can't keep its self healthy. that's why I stopped eating, to show it the same pain it has given me."
Wow. what a great come back that was! I said it in all seriousness too, even let my voice break a little. God i'm good!
Anyway, back to the story. So this shut her up straight away. She started blabbing about how sorry she is blah blah blah. I just got up, grabbed some clothes and left. When I went back to put my pyjamas away she wasn't there, but there was a pathetic, hand made sympathy card on my bed side table with a little love heart on it, as if she loves me or something. Stupid lezzy. It was totally Sukey, the shading all wrong. The counselor told me later that any human would of felt guilty when they saw that card instead of burning it and leaving the ashes on her bed. Well I guess i'm not 'any human' then, fucktard.
The word spread like wild fire, by lunch everyone had heard. I'm surprised it took until afternoon break for the counselors to learn of the hot gossip. And they, being the party poppers they are, let everyone know that I haven't got cancer, even though for all they knew I could of done and my family might of kept it a secret from them. Idiots.
So when they found out I was sitting on the wall furthest from everybody else, trying to get away from that horrid sympathy oozing off them all. I was actualy regretting telling them I had cancer because off all the 'I'm sorry's' and 'if there's anything you need'. But like hell they would of done anything I asked of, I was gonna say to one extremely annoying fuck that, "yeah, I need you lot to stop butting into my life and get on with wanting sympathy from everyone like all you low-life's in here do," but I didn't.
I'm telling you, that head counselor marching over to me was a sight to behold! she virtually had steam coming out from her ears. Apparently her dad had died from cancer or something, but how was I to know something like that! and it isn't as though it was recent, it was like five years ago. Anyhow, marching over here with a young lad, one of the new counselors, and and oldie, everyone watching them. When she finally reached me she started yelling at me, telling me how 'disrespectful' and 'immoral' and 'none-human' I am, about halfway through I just tuned her out, she didn't half ramble. When she stopped talking she just looked at me. Fatty must of asked me a question.
"Sorry? Wasn't listening," was all that set her off. She made me stand on that frigging wall in front of everyone and tell them that I don't have cancer and it was all just a big fat lie. Stupid fat bitch. So when she was finally satisfied with my explanation she tried to drag me back into her office for further 'telling-off' but some random therapist came out and told her that she isn't the best person to deal with this 'situation', that is seriously what she called me, seem as she has a close connection with the disease. So I went back to Gloria's (the therapist) office and she tried to discuss why I did it, trying to look all understanding, but when I said that I don't need a reason and I can do whatever the hell I want to do and that she obviously doesn't have a life if she sees the need to butt into to others she said I could go and come back when I see that I do 'need help', which I do not. she needs help. silly cunt.
Anyway when I got back to my room Alley was there, giving me the silent treatment I presume 'cause she didn't say one word to me. Not that i'm complaining, that's the way I like it. And that's pretty much what everyone else did too. Treated me as if I wasn't there. But it looked like I finally got something I wanted, no freaks trying to make conversation about a lame topic.
But you gotta admit, it was a funny joke while it lasted!
Anyhow, my first encounter with the devil that rests under all that fake bliss was my second day here. My first was just being introduced to the place, you know the meeting crazy people, being showed around, all that exceptionally exciting stuff. It was so exciting in fact, that I thought me making something up and telling everybody that I have six months to live would fit right in with the regime.
I share a room with a chick called Alley, and she has to be the most retarded person you have ever met. Ever. She's in here for her drug addiction- she's so stupid she probably thought that cocaine she was sniffing was an anti-hay fever medicine. Stupid bitch. Anyway, the second morning bright spark on the other side of the room was trying to figure out my story. She made assumptions, I lay there silent. After like fifteen minutes of sheer torture bright spark came up with, "It's because of boys, isn't it?"
Well woopdidoo, she actualy said something that might of made the slightest bit of sense to anyone but me. But it wasn't right, I did this because I want to. I'm in control of my life and I CAN'T be steered in any random direction someone chooses. But of course this annoyed me.
"You want to know why? it's because I have cancer and have been given six months to live. I stopped eating because it isn't fair that this stupid retarded body can't keep its self healthy. that's why I stopped eating, to show it the same pain it has given me."
Wow. what a great come back that was! I said it in all seriousness too, even let my voice break a little. God i'm good!
Anyway, back to the story. So this shut her up straight away. She started blabbing about how sorry she is blah blah blah. I just got up, grabbed some clothes and left. When I went back to put my pyjamas away she wasn't there, but there was a pathetic, hand made sympathy card on my bed side table with a little love heart on it, as if she loves me or something. Stupid lezzy. It was totally Sukey, the shading all wrong. The counselor told me later that any human would of felt guilty when they saw that card instead of burning it and leaving the ashes on her bed. Well I guess i'm not 'any human' then, fucktard.
The word spread like wild fire, by lunch everyone had heard. I'm surprised it took until afternoon break for the counselors to learn of the hot gossip. And they, being the party poppers they are, let everyone know that I haven't got cancer, even though for all they knew I could of done and my family might of kept it a secret from them. Idiots.
So when they found out I was sitting on the wall furthest from everybody else, trying to get away from that horrid sympathy oozing off them all. I was actualy regretting telling them I had cancer because off all the 'I'm sorry's' and 'if there's anything you need'. But like hell they would of done anything I asked of, I was gonna say to one extremely annoying fuck that, "yeah, I need you lot to stop butting into my life and get on with wanting sympathy from everyone like all you low-life's in here do," but I didn't.
I'm telling you, that head counselor marching over to me was a sight to behold! she virtually had steam coming out from her ears. Apparently her dad had died from cancer or something, but how was I to know something like that! and it isn't as though it was recent, it was like five years ago. Anyhow, marching over here with a young lad, one of the new counselors, and and oldie, everyone watching them. When she finally reached me she started yelling at me, telling me how 'disrespectful' and 'immoral' and 'none-human' I am, about halfway through I just tuned her out, she didn't half ramble. When she stopped talking she just looked at me. Fatty must of asked me a question.
"Sorry? Wasn't listening," was all that set her off. She made me stand on that frigging wall in front of everyone and tell them that I don't have cancer and it was all just a big fat lie. Stupid fat bitch. So when she was finally satisfied with my explanation she tried to drag me back into her office for further 'telling-off' but some random therapist came out and told her that she isn't the best person to deal with this 'situation', that is seriously what she called me, seem as she has a close connection with the disease. So I went back to Gloria's (the therapist) office and she tried to discuss why I did it, trying to look all understanding, but when I said that I don't need a reason and I can do whatever the hell I want to do and that she obviously doesn't have a life if she sees the need to butt into to others she said I could go and come back when I see that I do 'need help', which I do not. she needs help. silly cunt.
Anyway when I got back to my room Alley was there, giving me the silent treatment I presume 'cause she didn't say one word to me. Not that i'm complaining, that's the way I like it. And that's pretty much what everyone else did too. Treated me as if I wasn't there. But it looked like I finally got something I wanted, no freaks trying to make conversation about a lame topic.
But you gotta admit, it was a funny joke while it lasted!