The Slut Survival Guide

seventeen.

Secret #18: If he has issues undoing your bra, do it yourself. Pausing until he gets it is useless. It will take forever.

I sat beneath a tree that was outside of the Barnes and Noble and waited for Oliver to arrive. Nervously, I shuffled through songs on my iPod, not even pausing to listen to any of them. My free hand drummed against the floor in a jittery fashion. My head darted up and down, wanting to see Oliver before he saw me so I could gain my composure.

But, in typical Oliver fashion, he surprised me. "Boo," he whispered in my ear.

I jumped a little and looked up at him. He was giving me a shy smile. I extended a hand so that he could help me up, and I clambered to my feet. "Thanks for coming," I said.

He nodded. "Of course."

There was an awkward pause before I decided to speak again. "So, you heard what I said to Tim, right?"

"Yeah," he said.

There was another pause. "It was all true, you know."

"Yeah, I know. That's why I asked you to come here," Oliver said.

"Yeah. So, what did you want to talk about, then?" I asked him.

"Just like...," he paused, running a hand through his hair. "Why?"

"Why what?"

His lips formed a weird, crooked smile. "Why did you do that damn guide thing?"

I sighed. "Well, I had this ex-boyfriend. His name was Steven. I thought I was like, totally in love with him," I said, smirking. Oliver smiled at this, too.

"Well," I continued. "I wasn't. But I also realized I was going to college soon, and apparently, it's like a deathly sin to be a virgin when you graduate high school. I kinda wanted to get all that stuff out of the way, be experienced for college, and just more...mature, I guess."

He started laughing again. "That was how you became more mature?" he sarcastically asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, I know. It sounds totally fucked up. And it kind of was. But whatever, it accomplished its goal, I guess," I said, shrugging.

"Yeah," he scoffed.

"But," I said, holding a hand up. "I couldn't do it. I was the shittiest slut alive."

"You seemed to be doing a fantastic job, according to Tim," he said, looking at the floor.

"No," I protested, shaking my head. "I didn't sleep with anyone! I couldn't do it. I fucked up, Oliver."

"How was that fucking up?" He asked. "That sounds like the only thing you did right."

"Well, I broke the first rule of being a slut."

"Oh yeah?" He tiled his head to the side. "And what would that rule be?"

I paused and looked him directly in the eye. "Never fall in love."

Oliver looked back at me and there was another pause. But this one wasn't awkward.

"If you were so in love with me, why didn't you tell me about all this shit?" He asked, his voice wavering.

"I don't know," I said, shrugging. "I decided to just end it before anyone could find out."

He laughed again. "Well that fucking failed."

"It would appear so," I said, laughing too.

"Well," Oliver said, moving his bangs away from his eyes. "Thanks for talking to me."

My face fell. "That's it? Haven't you forgiven me yet?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, Tanya." He placed a hand on the side of my face and guided my head towards his. "You'll see eventually, I guess." I could feel his hot breath on my face, and I closed my eyes.

I heard him chuckle. "I'm not going to kiss you," he said.

I opened my eyes and turned pink, embarrassed.

"I'll be in touch, Tanya," he said, turning to walk away from me yet again.
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