Letters From Ellie

I don't know what to say... I know you're gonna hate Billie Joe. More than you already do now. Please don't. It's not his fault. He's sick, and I'm the one that should've asked for more help through everything. I didn't, so blame me. Not him.

I'm sorry for doing this. I know that won't help anything, but... I don't know. You were with me in my darkest hours so you should be able to understand my reasons. I couldn't live like this any longer. I know I could've just moved back in with Robbie. That would've made me look weak, though. At least to Billie, I would've looked weak.

God, I keep looking back at you and my heart is telling me to stop writing this and forget all about what I'm planning. But I can't. You know how much Billie has gotten to me. Everything he's done, everything he's said... it's too much after a while. In the two years I was away from him, the wounds never healed. Yeah, you made me forget about them, but they were always there. You did all you could. Remember that.

I love you. You mean so much to me... that's why I want you to move on. Find another girl that won't have all these problems. It hurts to say that, but I just want what's best for you. I don't want you feeling guilty if you wanna be with someone else. Live your life, don't let me or your memory of me stop you.

I was hoping I could spend forever with you, but I couldn't do that to you. You deserve better. Trust me.

I love you. Forever and always.

<3 - Ellie JoAnna Armstrong