The Other Dibenedetto Girl

Apologizing had not been as bad as I thought it would. I had expected a loud a big fight that resulted with someone on the floor bleeding from their nose or lips. Instead, Valary, Michelle and I just sat down and traded stories of things that he had done to us, before and after I had left. The more I listened to their stories about Mom, the more I regretted leaving in the first place. I could have protected her from him; taken the punches for her, even when I did hate her. I felt my eyes sting with tears when they told me of one brutal beating that had gone on in our kitchen. I pictured it in my mind: Her screaming and begging on the floor while he attacked her, tearing her clothes off and smacking her whenever she screamed. I had expected this to go on in their bedroom, not in the kitchen in front of their children. It made me sick to my stomach.

When she said it was alright, Valary allowed all three guys back into the living room. From the look on Matt's face, it seemed like he had been calmed down. I was a little bit glad about this, because then it meant that a fight was not going to happen today. After last night, a fight was something I wanted to avoid. The moment Zack saw me, he gave me a soft smile, it made my heart flutter; Jimmy did the same, only he gave me a large bear hug which consisted of his swaying me from side to side and nearly making me topple over onto the floor.

“Jimmy, I’m gonna fall,” I said in a muffled voice due to his shirt.

“Those are the best kind of hugs. Only a real friend would want to fall with you.”

I laughed softly when he let me go. I felt a small weight come off my shoulders; there was not so much worry anymore. It felt good. Very good.

“So, Melanie?” Valary had come to stand between Jimmy and me, seeming a bit unsure still. “I assume that you’re gonna be staying for a while?”

“I guess,” I said, “Why?”

“Well, we-“She began to say before being rudely interrupted by Michelle,

“-Don’t bring me into this. It was your idea.-“

“I was thinking that maybe you’ll want to come shopping with the girls and I tomorrow. We were going to buy some stuff and grab some lunch. Would you wanna come?”

Her hazel-green eyes were full of uncertainty and anxiousness. It was like she was afraid I would say ‘no’; I wanted to, but my eyes suddenly lingered to Zack. He was sitting on the couch with a beer in his hand and eyes directed at me. I saw him give me a curt nod, but I wasn’t sure if I should consider it. Was this too soon? I mean, a lot has happened in three days: Arriving here; being pissed about coming here; meeting a guy who brings up a lot of questions; realizing that my mother loved me no matter how much I blamed her; hitting Michelle; hearing Zack tell me he loves me, and now making amends with my sisters. Was I really ready to go out with them and their friends? I’m sure I’d feel out of place with them.

‘You could use some new clothes, since you’re gonna be staying a little longer than you had planned. You can’t wear Zack’s clothes all the time.’

“Um, okay…I could use some new clothes.”

Valary smiled widely, even hugged me. It felt awkward. “Great! We’ll come get you from Zack’s around two?”

“Um, sure.” I said, trying to sound cheerful about it, but not achieving it the way I planned.

“Awesome!” Valary smiled widely.

She offered me a drink; I asked for water, and she left the room to get it. I took a small glance at Michelle, who seemed to be less than enthused about the day tomorrow. I guessed she had gone against the idea, but found herself defeated. I had a feeling some kind of fight would ensue tomorrow if the problem was resolved right now. I wasn’t going to apologize to her, if that’s what she’s expecting from me. She should apologize for her part of the fight and being a total bitch to me. It was her fault just as it was mine, and if everyone wants to turn away from it because she’s “sweet, little Michelle”, then I’m not going to bother. I wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of thinking she won over me just because I apologized to her personally.

She can basically go fuck herself.

When I sat back on the couch, Matt came up to me with his arms crossed. I assumed he thought his appearance scared me. It didn’t. I’ve met people scarier and meaner than he is. I stared back up at him with an emotionless expression on my face.

“Hi Matt,” I said.

“Valary’s trying to be really nice to you,” His smooth, deep voice said.

“I know. I’m trying to be too.”

“I don’t want you hurting her.”

“I figured you wouldn’t. She is your wife.”

“If you hurt her-“

“-Lemme guess, you’re gonna pound my face in?” I asked a little amused.

“I don’t hit girls,” He said defensively, “But I wouldn’t have a problem with-“

“-With me? You don’t scare me Matt. Really, you don’t. I’m not just talking to be tough. I’ve known people a lot worse than you.”

“Oh really? Your dad? I think we’ve heard that story enough.”

“I wasn’t talking about my Dad. There was a guy…” I let my voice trail down into a small hesitation, and then I looked up at him again and glared a little bit, “You know what? Nevermind. You wouldn’t probably give a shit anyways. I’m gonna go.”

I stood up from the couch and walked out the door, but a voice called me back. “Yeah, just run away like you always do. You never face your problems on your own do you?”

I turned around to look back at Matt, anger boiling in the pit of my stomach. I had just apologized for stirring up a fight in her house, and now I was being brought into another one. I tried to think about just walking away, but I objected to it.

“Matt,” I said with a slight angry tone walking towards the threshold of the living room archway, “If you had the problems I’ve had, and I’m not just talking about my Dad. I’m talking about every fucking thing I’ve ever gone through in my whole life; you’d want to run away too. You’d want to just forget everything and wish it had never happened! You’d want to just wish you would slowly die because dying sounds like your best option! “

Zack came towards me with worry in his eyes again, holding me by my shoulder and hugging my close to his chest. He whispered about just leaving with him until I’ve calmed down; that I shouldn’t start another fight, but I kept going. I shouted to Matt over Zack’s shoulder; not breaking away, but still leaning forward.

“-If you had spent just one day in my shoes, you’d want to forget everything; hate everything; hate yourself, and the people around you who brought you to that point! But of course, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?! You and your perfect life, your perfect life, and your perfect everything! So you know what I recommend you do?! Stay the fuck out of my business and stop pretending like you know so much about me, because you know why?! You don’t! You don’t know shit!”

Matt started towards me, but Zack came in between us. “No,” He said firmly.

“I don’t know why you bother with her, Z,” Matt said to him, “All she’s gonna do is cause trouble.”

“She’s only defending herself,” He told him, “Because it seems that everyone around here wants nothing more than to fight with her. If you guys would just give her a chance, you’d see she’s not such a bad person. You’d find out that how smart she is; how sweet she can be; how fucking wonderful she really is. You would actually see why I love her so much.”

Zack came to my side, taking my hand, “Let me take you home.”

There was a silence that fell over the room as we both walked out the door. All the rage I had felt in my stomach had instantly vanished with Zack’s words. I had never someone defend me-protect me-like that before. No one had ever touched my heart the way Zack just had. They never said the things he did; they didn’t treat me the way he treated me. This was why I loved Zack. I mean, really loved him, not the way I loved Jimmy. He always went up to bat for me whenever someone picked on me or when someone had hurt me. I just wished that I had gone to his house that night; told him that I was leaving, because I knew he would have taken me in or ran away with me. Running away with Zack would have been the best thing ever.

He would have saved me from Him.

There’s a lot I haven’t said to them (even Zack) yet, because I don’t want to. They would just think I just want pity. That I’m adding more drama to everything, but I’m not. He was not someone I really wanted to talk about. I didn’t think I’d ever find someone who was just like Dad, and I did. He was just a master of disguise. It took me months to get over it; I even went to therapy for a while. That’s how I’ve been letting Zack near me; letting him touch and kiss me.

I guess it’s because I loved and trusted him. He took care of me all the time. He would have saved me from Mark. He would have taken me away from him; maybe even killed him for hurting me the way he did.

We both reached the car with Jimmy following us. Despite it being Jimmy’s car, he let Zack drive.

“Just don’t fuck it up. This is very expensive…it’s my baby,” Jimmy stroked the car as if it were a pet.

The both of us laughed, and then slipped into the car. I felt myself smile when I sat in the car, knowing Zack was always at my side, and always would be.

“Thanks Zack,” I said quietly to him.

“No problem,” He smiled at me. “I wasn’t gonna let him hurt you, even though I knew he was totally bluffing and wouldn’t lay a finger on you.”

“Well, aren’t you a little hero?” Jimmy said from the backseat, “Flying to the rescue to save our damsel in distress.”

“I always will,” Zack said, more to me than Jimmy.

“My hero,” I said in a small voice, hugging his arm before reaching over to kiss his lips.

He really was my hero…and I loved him.