Beautiful Closure

The Starbucks; I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a beautiful place. It looks like any other coffee shop. But it doesn’t look like any other coffee shop.

Because I’m meeting him here, for the first time.

I can’t wait.

*

I walk slowly into the building, my fingers twitching because I can barely stand not to run.

He said he would be wearing a navy blue shirt. Well . . . there are four guys with navy blue shirts.

The first is too old and the second looks right but I look to the next one because he just doesn’t feel right. The third is him. I know it’s him. I can feel it way deep down. He’s beautiful, not in a handsome way but an inner strength, way. He’s not tall and not short. He’s not skinny. His hair is dark and he’s . . . IT. I just know it. I love him. I can tell already.

I grip the little plastic card. Since it’s close to Christmas I got him a gift card for his favorite store. I take one, no, two, deep breaths and walk towards him. He’s not looking at me and I don’t think he’s seen me yet.

“Nathan?” My voice trembles because I’m so nervous.

He looks at me. “Yea?”

My heart plummets. “I’m E-Elizabeth . . .” I can see the disappointment in his eyes. I hope I’m reading it wrong, but I don’t think I am.

“Oh. Hi.” He puts his hand out and I grasp it. We shake twice and he pulls out a seat for me. Thirty seconds into this and I’m ready to burst into tears. He doesn’t like me, I can tell.

We talk for a few minutes but he seems distracted, so I do the kindest thing I can think of. I get up and look down at him until he stands also.

“Nathan . . .” I take a calming breath. “Here,” I give him the gift card. He takes it and looks confused.

I explain. “It’s almost Christmas. I got you this.”

“Why?”

“Well, I . . . don’t know; but, I can tell you’ll be a good friend.”

I gave him a small, quick hug and dart out the door as fast as I could.

“Elizabeth?” he calls.

I turn around and smile brightly. A fake smile.

He has an odd look on his face. “Come back inside. Let’s talk.”

I shake my head. “I have to go,” I lied. “My parents will get upset when they find out I’m gone.” I turn around before he can say anything. I cross the street and run down the sidewalk; I hold it in until I’m positive he can’t see me, then I sit down right on the sidewalk and bawl my eyes out.

How could I have been so STUPID! A guy like him to love me? No. That won’t happen. Ever.

I ran back to the hotel as fast as I could go and I didn’t stop until I was in my room, thanking God I was alone, and into the bed crying under the pillow.

*

I wake up to the sounds of my cousins and brother yelling at each other in the room over.

“What’s all the yelling about? I’m trying to sleep,” I ask, standing in the doorway of the suite divider.

“Problem solved,” Cane said, apparently to Rye.

“Yea,” Rye says sullenly.

“What problem?” I ask.

“We were going to play Halo 3 and we knew you were asleep. Rye wanted to wake you up and I said to let you sleep.” He looked amused.

Rye hands me a game controller.

“I don’t wanna play.” I shake my head.

They both look at me like I’ve given birth to flying pigs.

“Nathan’s on,” Rye taunts, handing me it again.

I raise a shoulder. “So?” . . . I care, but I don’t wanna care . . .

“It’s Nathan, your boyfriend,” he teases. He hands me the controller for a third time.

“He’s not my boyfriend, so shut it! I DON’T WANNA PLAY!” I yell.

They both looked stunned. I don’t usually burst out like that.

I pivot on my heel and nearly run back to my room; making sure to shut the dividing door this time.

*

God, the week was excruciating. I wanted to die. Praise God I’m leaving tomorrow; I can’t stand another second longer than I have to here.

The boys played Halo almost all week but our parents made them go somewhere with them today. I think to something historical . . .

I told mom I was sick. I am sick, I have a cold, and I don’t want to be in here any longer. I don’t want to look at the sky he looks at every day. Or breathe his air.

She said I could stay in the hotel as long as I called her if I needed anything.

I was lying in bed, sucking on a cough drop, when the phone rang.

“Hello?” I said and coughed.

“Miss Merson?” A lady with an accent asks.

“Yes?”

“Who will be in your room in the next few minutes?”

I don’t think I should answer but my brain is too befuddled to care.

“Just me. Why, may I ask?” But she’s already hung up.

I chuck it up to be a housekeeping call.

I get out of bed and turn on my music. Jimmy Eat World. My favorite. I turn in to The Middle and crank it up, hoping to drown out the ache in my . . . everything. Heart. Face. Legs. Arms.

I wait, letting the positive music soak into me. The song is over and goes to something on shuffle that makes me want to shrivel up and blow away. I bawl for a few seconds, only adding to my cold, and then decide to just sleep since TV turned out to be nothing good, when I last checked. I turn over and bury my face into the pillow making it ten times harder to breathe, but I don’t care.

I fall asleep quickly but awake to semi-consciousness later to hear the door locks open a click. My parents. They’re probably back to check on me. So I go back to sleep.

*

Huh. Strange. I can barely smell anything but I smell something all right. What is that? . . . Roses? What?

I sit up and stare at the room in shock. They’re everywhere! A sea of red! I get up and walk around the room. A note is stuck to one bouquet:

Get on so I can properly thank you –Nathan.

I stare in shock at the note. Nathan sent this to me? Wow.

I’m in Cane’s room before I realize I’ve even moved.

I turn on his Xbox 360 and go straight to his friends.

He’s on.

I click on him and send a message:

~Hey . . . E.

A few seconds later he sends one back:

~Hey

~Did you . . .?

~Yea.

~Why?

~Same thing.

~Huh?

~You’re my friend and it IS almost Christmas.

~Oh.

~But red means love.

~Yeah? A smile breaks out on my face.

~Yeah.

~Your card should have been red . . . dark red. I blush when I think of what I implied.

~?? Thank God he didn’t understand that.

~ . . .

~Coffee shop?

My heart beats wild. Did he just ask me on a date? A coughing fit breaks me out of my thoughts, and shatters my dream.

~Can’t

~Why?

~I’ve got a cold . . . I wish I could though . . .

~Oh

~Yea

~Are you alone?

~Yea?

~Oh

~Yea . . .

He signed off and I almost cried before I realized he had lagged out.

Well, Merry Christmas to me!

At least I know he cares . . .

I sneezed and grossed myself out; ran to the bathroom and got a tissue; then, slowly marched back to the bed and checked the clock. 12:36 PM; they left at eleven and were supposed to be back around seven. Though I doubt mom can stay away that long without checking on me.

I fall back asleep within a minute.

*

I think I cried during my sleep, either that, or I was semi-awake and dreaming about Nathan at the same time. I think it was the latter.

I was awake now and slightly hungry. Probably due to the fact that I’ve been surviving on water and cough drops for two days. I got out of bed and stalked around the room, looking for food. When I didn’t find any my stomach growled at me, letting me know that it wasn’t happy.

I gave up and decided to go down the hall to the vending machine. I put on some shoes and grabbed my purse.

I make it to the vending machine but I want to collapse. My chest is tight and I’m dizzy. I decide to get a sprite and some chips. Satisfied, I make my way to my room. When I get to the door, I fumble around for a few minutes until it dawns on me that I forgot a key.
I groan. I don’t wanna go downstairs! But I can’t sit out here so I pull myself together and make myself not look as dead.

*

Downstairs was horrid. Too many people. Not enough air. I was dizzy and I felt sick but I needed a key. I walk up to the front desk.

“Hi. Can I help you?” The young girl asks warily, it’s obvious that she noticed the way I look.

“I locked myself out of three-eleven can I get another key?”

“Sure. I just need you to tell me whose name is on the charge account?”

“Sure.” I tell her my mom, dad, aunt, and uncle’s name. I must have got one right because she gave me another key shortly after.

*

The trek back up to the room was less than fun but I made it and I actually still had my food, so I was joyous.

I ate in peace, enjoying my solitary moment before fighting boys and barging parents come back. A moment where I actually felt good. Or, eh, better.

And Nathan likes me . . .

*

I awoke for, like, the third time today. But . . . this time it wasn’t to the smell of roses. It was something else. Something . . . guy-ish.

“Nathan?” I ask with a smile. I don’t know how I knew it was him, I just knew. My heart is pounding and my head is throbbing, I would have jumped up and screamed his name if I thought I wouldn’t fall over. The bed sinks under weight behind me and I turn over to see Nathan laying there, looking at me.

“Hi,” I croak and turn red.

“Hey,” he says and smiles. I don’t see disappointment or guilt or anything else in his eyes . . . but love. It warms me to the greatest extent.

“What are you doing here?” I ask with a yawn, making sure not to get my sick breath on him.

“You couldn’t come to me so I came to you.”

“But I’m sick,” I say, trying to make myself sound less stuffy.

He laughs. “That’s the point.”

“Thank you for the roses.” I smile up at him.

He scoots closer and pulls me against him. I sigh in pleasure. Mmm, yummy.

“I love you, Elizabeth,” he whispers in my ear, causing me to shiver.

“I love you too, Nathan.” I snuggle closer.

“You’re leaving tomorrow,” he states.

“Yeah,” I said, glumly.

“We probably won’t see each other for a long time.”

I groan out of irritation. “Don’t remind me.”

“How about a first kiss?”

“I’m sick,” I remind him.

“ . . . I’ll take my chances . . .” he whispers, his mouth mere inches from mine. His heat stops all thoughts and blows them out of the water. He looks into my eyes and the desire and love there halts my breath. Closer. Closer.

I sigh as our lips touch for the first time.

Ah, such beautiful closure.

Best Christmas present . . . like, ever.