You're in Ruins

I am being bumped into, ground on, and shoved against. Why am I here again? Oh, right. Because Mandi's my best friend, and Leigh decided to come with me. Have I seen either of them? No. I'm making my way through the crowds of dancing people, none of which I recognize.

"Hey babe, want to hook up?" a random guy asks me.

"In your dreams, creep," I hurriedly rush away from him. I hate parties, especially drinking parties. I once again had to remind myself why I had come. I have a midterm on Monday...and I'm here. Spectacular. I scold silently.

As I make my way through Mandi's giant house, I see Leigh. She's walking -stumbling would be a better word- out the front door. I make my way through the throng of people to get to her. I finally dash out the front door, and lay my hand on her shoulder.

"Leigh, where're you going?" I ask her. She turns to look at me, and I see just how drunk she is. Her hair is all messed up, and her make-up is smeared. Her clothes are a mess, and her eyes are dazed over. She smells like smoke. Ugh.

"Home, where else?" she slurs. This worries me.

"Are you sober enough to drive?" That was the wrong thing to say. She slaps my hand away.

"You accusing me of being drunk?" Leigh never was one to admit a fault.

"Leigh, no, I'm just asking--"

"Piss off, I'm fine," she cuts me off, and then proceeds to walk way, plastic cup still in hand, to her car. I am struck dumb. That wasn't Leigh, it couldn't have been. She starts her car, and begins to drive away. I watch her steadily drive.

A feeling of regret boils in the pit of my stomach, and I'm not sure why. She's driving fine down the long road. Then, she starts to swerve...only a little, though. Then, she jerks. Once, twice, three times, but she still has hit no one. Then she turns a corner. I hear a booming crash.

Oh my God. What did I do?

.*.*.*.

I'm running, sprinting down the long road, not caring who's around me. I turn the corner, and waves of smoke hit my face. There's a crowd around two cars, both totaled. I make my way to the front, shoving people out of the way. I look at the car on the left, the one that had caused the accident.

Leigh.

I couldn't see her, but from the looks of her car, she had burst through the windshield. An ambulance arrives. The smoke from the fire on one of the cars is so strong, the taste stayed in my mouth for hours afterwards. I'm jumping up and down, yelling for Leigh, and then I see her.

She's been laid on a stretcher, and she's unmoving, something protruding from her shoulder. She is soaked in blood. Salty tears are now pouring down my cheeks. I see another stretcher being lifted into an ambulance, a face I don't recognize, also covered in blood.

The air is humid and thick, and the fact that people are packed so tightly together wasn't helping. People are groping for eachother, and I'm lost in the mix. I'm standing stock-still, and only one thing is passing through my mind.

This is all my fault.

I feel nauseous, sick, like I'm about to throw up. My stomach is rising and falling. I can only see Leigh, soaked to the bone in blood, in my minds eye. I lose track of everything around me, the time, the people, the place. People slowly begin to move away, to go home. The crowd thins until it is just me, standing before the remains of two cars. Eventually a gruff police man shoos me away, and I begin to trudge back to Mandi's.

I don't even bother going into her house. I just slowly climb into my truck, and trek home. The fact that I'm worried sick about Leigh makes the journey that much longer. I arrive at my house, park my truck, step inside my house, and fall onto my couch. I cry myself to sleep.

.*.*.*.

I wake to a soft sob. I slowly sit up, and I see Mom sitting at the kitchen table, her hands covering her face. I quickly jump up, and am immediately at her side.

"Mom, what's wrong?" I ask her, concerned.

She looks at me with her deep gray eyes that match my own, and are now dripping in tears.

"Leigh is gone, honey."

Last night's memories hit me full on. I literally stagger back, and grip the wall for support.

"Wh-what?" I didn't need clarification. I needed to know if she was serious.

"Babe, you heard me."

I slowly sink to my knees. I'm not crying; I can't. There are no tears to cry. There isn't much sadness. Only shock, devastation, and most of all, guilt. I feel empty inside, like a void came and sucked everything out of me. I can't breathe, I can't see. I can't believe it.

My Leigh, the fighter, is gone. Gone. Dead, by drunk driving.

And by a friend who let her.

I am shocked at my own thoughts, but come to find it true: It was totally my fault. I let her drive in that state. I killed my best friend.

Mom in kneeling in front of me. "Hon, I know it's hard, but, -"

"Mom, no, you don't get it. I killed her."

"What?"

"I killed Leigh. I killed my best friend."