This Loneliness Is Killing Me

“Dude, your multiple babies daddy has mutant sperm.” Alex joked as she sat down next to me on the couch.

I didn’t know what to do. Telling Shaun we were having one kid was hard enough, but telling him we were having two is just insane. I feel like I have to tell him I’m pregnant all over again. I shouldn’t feel scared to tell him but I am. He was ecstatic to have one kid, and I think that’s all he wanted, but I don’t know how thrilled he’ll be to find out we’re having twins.

“On a scale of 1-10, how excited will Shaun be when you tell him?” Alex asked.

I shrugged, “I don’t know if he’ll be excited, I think eh only really wanted one kid.” I replied.

“I think he’ll be excited, you are going to tell him right?”

“Well, ya, but not today.” I replied nervously.

“Then when? You can’t really hide being pregnant with two kids, and passing it off as one child, very easily.”

“I know, but I’ll tell him after next months ultrasound. I mean, it’s still early, it could’ve looked like I’m having twins but I’m really not.” I replied.

“Yes, because it’s so easy to mistake one kid as two…” She replied sarcastically.

I just stared at her and bit my lip, no one else even knows I’m pregnant, how are they going to react when I tell them I’m having two kids?

“You’re going to have to tell Shaun, the guys, and your family really, really soon Alison. You can’t hide this forever.”

“I know.” I replied quietly as my cell phone went off.

I sighed heavily and grew nervous when I saw that it was Shaun calling.

Speak of the devil and the devil shall arrive.

“Hello?” I answered as I put him on speakerphone.

“Hey dude, how was everything?” He asked, causing a knot to grow in my throat.

“Good, everything’s fine, there’s nothing to worry about.” I replied, purposely leaving out the ‘exciting’ news.

“That’s awesome. You should’ve let me go though, that was way more important than this.”

“No, you promised Shaun, alright? You promised that this whole pregnancy thing wouldn’t get in the way of your career.” I scolded.

“I know, but you’re far more important than this. I can always come back to this but I know you won’t let me knock you up again.” He laughed.

“I don’t care Shaun, I’d feel really bad if you gave it all up for a couple of years, and I had Alex come with me anyway.” I reassured.

“Alright, anyway, I have something to tell you, and promise me you won’t get mad, upset, angry, or disappointed.”

“What is it Shaun?” I sighed.

“No, you have to promise me first that you won’t get upset.”

“Alright, fine, I promise.”

Shaun took a deep breath before continuing, “All the guys know.” He forced out quickly.

“What do they know, Shaun?” I asked, knowing perfectly well what they all knew.

“That you’re pregnant…” He trailed off.

“How do they know? Did you just blurt it out?”

“No! We were on the halfpipe and I was concentrating on when I was going to drop and they asked where you were, and without thinking I told them you had an ultrasound appointment. Then they asked why and I just told them you were pregnant because I couldn’t hide that anymore, I mean, what else could you need an ultrasound for?”

“Shaun! What the fuck dude? Couldn’t you have lied and said I had a stomach ulcer or something?”

“I’m sorry, but I don’t lie.”

“You lie to your mother!” I retorted.

“Ya! About not wearing a helmet! Not something like this!”

“Ugh, Shaun! I don’t even know what to say!”

“Well, you promised not to be mad, so ha! They said congrats though, then laughed ‘cause it’s ironic.” He replied and I could just tell from the sound of his voice that he was smiling sheepishly.

“Shaun! Ugh, I didn’t want them finding out yet! You’re such a tool.” I joked.

“Hey, you promised not to get mad, so bye!” He replied before ending the phone call.

“The father of your children is a child himself.” Alex laughed.

“I know, it’s like I’m going to have to raise three kids as apposed to two…” I replied flatly as my phone vibrated once again.

“What is it Shaun?” I answered.

“I forgot to tell you I love you, so I’m saying it now. I love you, bye.” He replied simply before finally hanging up.

“Tell him.” Alex urged once I put away my phone.

I bit my lip and my heart sank, I have to tell him and I have to tell him soon.

“He loves you dude, you’ll be fine, he should be ecstatic, just tell him, and if you don’t, I’m forcing you to take him with you to your next ultrasound. No excuses. Plus, if you tell him he’s bound to stop hanging around Ashley while you’re here sitting around with me.”

“He doesn’t hang around her that much…” I replied unsurely.

“Oh yes he does, half the time Mason isn’t there either. Just ask Louie, whenever we chill with Shaun and Ashley tags along she’s, like, hanging off of him. She’s constantly flirting with him; it’s sickening. He doesn’t do anything though, which is good and bad, ‘cause he’s not flirting back and slightly ignoring her, but he’s not stopping her either.” Alex informed me.

“But she gave him up so Shaun and I could be together.” I replied.

“I know, but remember when you told her to never let him go ‘cause it’ll be the biggest mistake she’ll ever make? I think she realized that and regrets letting him go and she wants him back, but that’s just my opinion.”

“She wouldn’t possibly do that, she’s a lot nicer than she comes off.” I replied, trying to fool myself more than anyone else that everything was all right.

“I don’t know,” She shrugged, “All I’m saying is keep a close eye on her.”