Undisclosed Desires

“Yes! I finally killed Jared!” Seth cried from the couch; he and Jacob high-fived.

“Damnit,” Embry groaned, smacking his forehead with the Xbox controller. “Jared, you’re supposed to be the good one! They’re kicking our asses!”

“Hey, watch your language around the baby,” I scolded, waddling behind Embry and smacking him upside the head. Jacob, Jared, and Seth burst out laughing. Renesmee, who was sitting on Jacob’s lap, clapped enthusiastically and let out a peal of tinkling laughter.

I rolled my eyes at the boys and waddled back to the kitchen; Bella and Edward were perched at the counter. Bella was providing small talk as I continued to cook dinner for everyone. Sam and Emily were out on a date night, and me and Seth’s house had become the newest hang-out, seeing as Edward had bought Seth an Xbox 360 for his birthday.

I leaned against the fridge as I stirred the spaghetti noodles, watching Seth laugh maniacally as he gunned down Embry. A small smile grew on my face as I watched him; both Bella and Edward chuckled softly. My eyes snapped from Seth’s face to Bella’s as I asked,

“What? What’s so funny?”

“Oh nothing, lover girl,” Bella teased, grinning at me. I grinned back as I turned to the pot; I took it off the burner and drained the water, calling out to the boys in the living room,

“Guys! Turn it off, dinner’s done!”

I heard the controllers drop onto the coffee table, and moments later, I heard Jared saying,

“Not fair, you totally screen peeked on that last kill!”

“Look, just because you’re jealous…” Jacob trailed off, dropping down into his chair and setting Nessie in the high chair beside him. She giggled as Jared stuck his tongue out. As I sat the pot back on the stove, two warm arms slid around me as Seth pressed his lips to my ear.

“Need any help, gorgeous?” he whispered. I blushed as I smiled, and said,

“Can you get the plates out for me?”

“Of course,” Seth said. Before he could pull away, I turned my head and kissed him gently on the lips. Seth smiled, kissed me back for a second, and then stepped around me to get the plates out of the cupboard.

One by one, I filled the plates up. I was glad Quil was with Claire tonight and Edward and Bella didn’t eat; on one side of the table was Jacob, Embry and Jared, with Nessie’s high chair beside Jake. Bella sat at the end of the table beside Nessie, and Edward sat across from Jake. As I filled the last of the plates with spaghetti and garlic bread, Seth carried both of our plates to the table. I sat down beside Edward, and Seth sat beside me.

Dinner that night was one of the best; I loved the feeling of having a full house. All the spaghetti disappeared within the hour, though I made enough spaghetti for at least twenty people; Nessie and I only had one helping each.

We sat around talking to one another long after all the food was gone, and by nine o’clock, Nessie and I were beginning to grow tired.

“I think we better get Renesmee to bed,” Bella said, pushing away from the table. I nodded in agreement, standing up as well and stretching. Seth cleared the plates for me as I waddled forward and engulfed Bella in a huge hug.

“G’night, Alex,” Bella said, squeezing me softly.

“Night, Bells,” I said back, rubbing her back.

We pulled away, and Bella knelt down and rubbed my belly tenderly.

“Goodnight Lucas, be good for your mommy,” she cooed, and I laughed.

I followed Bella to the door, knowing everyone else would leave with the Cullens. I gave Bella another hug goodnight, and then hugged Edward. He patted my stomach too, then smiled and followed Bella to the Volvo. Jake was next, carrying Renesmee. As he hugged me, I got hugged by Renesmee, and they both pulled back and rubbed my belly.

I gave Jared a swift hug; we were good friends, but we weren’t the huggy-touchy friends. We both enjoyed our space.

Embry, of course, engulfed me in a hug big enough to make up for Jared’s lack-luster one. I moved to the doorway, waving as the Volvo pulled back out of the yard and headed up towards Forks. Seth came up beside me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. He waved off his friends as they headed off towards their own houses.

When I couldn’t see anyone anymore, Seth pulled me back into the house.

“Dishes?” he asked, closing the door.

“You’re gonna help?” I teased, tucking my curled golden-brown hair behind my ears. Seth rolled his eyes and said,

“Well, if you need me to…”

I laughed, getting on my tip-toes to kiss his cheek. He turned his head and pressed his lips against mine; as we continued to kiss, Seth wrapped his arms around my body and squeezed me gently.

We broke the kiss apart, and I said softly,

“How about you take care of the living room, and I do the dishes?”

Seth grinned; I knew he absolutely hated doing the dishes. If I had asked him, though, I know he would have.

“Sounds good!” he said enthusiastically, kissing me on the cheek as he pulled away and began to grab the food wrappers littering the floor.

I waddled to the kitchen and put the dishes into the dishwasher, then cleaned the stove and counters. Once I was done, I heard the buzzer going off for the laundry.

“Oh, crud… I forgot about that…” I muttered, hurrying off to the laundry room.

As I folded clothes, I heard Seth getting ready for bed in our bedroom; he always hummed cartoon theme songs when he brushed his teeth; tonight, he was going for Pokemon. I chuckled as I listened to him.

I had asked Sam, Jake, Edward and Carlisle what would happen to all of us, seeing as Paul had imprinted on me.

It’s simple, really,” Sam assured me as I got comfortable on Emily’s couch. “Originally, you WERE Paul’s imprintee. But, things change. Heart’s change course, and true love can be altered. Seth fell in love with you, and we all believe he’s negating Paul’s imprinting. We think Seth has imprinted on you as well, and you’re feelings are obviously mutual.”

“So, that means that I switched from being Paul’s imprint to Seth’s imprint?” I had asked, frowning at Sam. The four men in the room nodded, and Jake said,

“Not only that, but you accelerated his aging. He’s more mature now, he’s taller, and looks older.”

“But why?”

“Wolves adapt to their imprints; you were older than Seth, but he wanted to be older than you. In order to efficiently protect you and take care of you, he had to age, and so he did. That’s what really makes us think he’s your imprint.”

I smiled to myself as I thought about that. I wanted so badly to be Seth’s imprint. He was perfect for me.

As I finished the last of the laundry, I heard TV coming from our bedroom. I carried the basket into the room, and immediately Seth jumped up and took it from me.

“Why don’t you get ready for bed and let me handle this, beautiful?” he suggested, kissing me on the cheek. I felt myself blush, and I said,

“Well, okay, if you want.”

I went into the bathroom, leaving the door open as always. I pulled my pajamas off the hook on the back of the door and stripped of my jeans and tank top, tossing them into the clothes hamper.

I pulled my old t-shirt and shorts on (the only things of mine that still fit me from before I was pregnant), and brushed my teeth as I listened to Seth tell me about his patrol earlier this morning.

I pulled my hair back into a messy bun, cleaned my face, and then waddled into the room. Seth was just finishing putting everything away. He put the basket down and came over to me; he lifted me easily bridal-style and, balancing me in one arm, he pulled the covers back and settled me onto the bed. I smiled as he kissed my forehead and pulled the covers up over me. Then, he snapped off the overhead light, leaving just the table lamp on his side on. He crawled into bed and snapped off the light, letting the glow of the TV illuminate us. Seth lifted his arm up, and I took the invitation to snuggle up next to him as we watched the movie he had put in for us.

It felt like I’d only been asleep for a few minutes. I felt a terrible pain shoot through my body, and I jolted up in bed, letting out an agonized scream. Seth bolted up, nearly falling to the floor. I clutched my stomach, letting out a low, pained groan.

“Alex! What’s wrong!?”

“I think the baby’s coming!” I gasped, just as another wave of pain hit me. I let out another scream, causing Seth to jump up off the bed and grab the phone. I heard him yell,

“Carlisle! She’s going into labor! Can you meet us at the hospital!?”

Moments later, I felt myself being lifted from the bed, and then I was being carried out to the jeep. Oh, thank God Seth and I had decided to put the hospital bag in the back of the jeep two days ago. Seth jumped into the drivers seat, and took off towards Forks going at least ninety miles an hour.

The jeep skid to a stop in the first parking space Seth had seen. Carlisle had been waiting outside the front of the hospital, and he was now beside my door with a wheelchair. Seth came around and lifted me out, setting me gently in the chair. Carlisle hurriedly pushed me through the doors, leading me down the hall and waving off the nurses that offered to help him.

Bella was inside the room, with Alice and Rosalie seated beside her.

“We’ve already called everyone,” Alice told Seth as he began to pull out his phone. “They’re on their way.”

“Everyone?” I asked Alice, meeting her golden gaze. She nodded and said,

“Everyone.”

I felt my heart tighten a little bit, but the worry about seeing Paul was wiped away as another wave of pain washed over me.

***Three hours later***

“I can’t get a hold of Paul,” Jared said, snapping his phone shut. “His phone’s on, he’s just not answering. I even tried calling his house, but nothing.”

“Did you try Kara’s house?” Quil asked, running a hand through his hair.

“I will,” Jacob said, flipping the phone open and punching in some numbers.

I was lying on the hospital bed with Seth and Bella on either side of me. I knew I was exceeding the maximum of three people in the room with me, but Carlisle had said it was okay. Quil, Embry, Jared, Jacob, Sam and Emily were all gathered on the chairs pushed into the corner of my room. Alice and Rosalie were standing off to the side of the wolves, with Emmett and Jasper behind them. Edward had come in just about ten minutes ago when Esme got home; Nessie was sleeping and he hadn’t wanted to wake her up or leave her alone.

We were all trying to get a hold of Paul; Jared had been the last of the pack to arrive, and no one had seen Paul since yesterday morning during patrol.

“Hi, Kara? This is Jacob, Paul’s friend.”

All of us whipped our heads around to stare at Jacob as he talked.

“Is Paul with you? Alex is in labor at Forks Hospital, and we can’t get a hold of him.”

I heard the soft murmur of a voice on the other end, and Jacob said,

“Okay, thanks Kara, I’ll go see if he’s there,” and Jacob snapped the phone shut. “She said he went to Port Angeles a few hours ago and he left his phone at home.”

“I’ll drive,” Edward said, kissing Bella swiftly as he headed off after Jacob.

No matter how mad I was at Paul, he needed to be here for the birth of his son. I would kill him, literally kill him if he missed it.

About twenty minutes later, Alice let out a surprised gasp, and then swiveled her head over to the door.

“Alex is going to need some privacy,” she said, taking Jasper’s hand as she began to walk out of the room. “We’ll all be right out here, Alex, if you need us, okay?”

I sat up a little straighter, my eyes going wide.

“Wait, what? Why?!”

Alice smiled, gesturing for the others to leave. “Someone needs to talk to you. It’s fine, we’re right out here. But promise you’ll listen before you jump to any conclusions, okay?”

I blinked in confusion, and then winced as another contraction hit. Thank God Carlisle had given me the pain medicine.

“Uh, er, okay, I guess…” I said, letting go of Seth’s hand as he stood up.

“I’ll be right by the door, I promise. Holler if you need anything.”

He kissed my cheek briefly, and then followed Alice and Jasper out of the room.

A few moments after the door shut, I saw the handle turn, and the door begin to creak open. I watched curiously. Was it my dad? Nichole? Who could it be?

My eyebrows flew up, and I felt my mouth drop open a little bit as I watched the blonde-haired girl tentatively walk into the room and shut the door.

This must be Kara. She was tall, wearing a pair of suede light brown boots. Her designer jeans were fashionably faded, and hugged her hips nicely. She wore a light brown suede jacket over a white tank top. Her long, silky blonde hair was twisted away from her face and pulled into a half-up style.

In her right hand was a bundle of blue and green balloons, saying things like It’s a Boy! and Congratulations!. In Kara’s right hand was a stuffed grey wolf.

“Can I come in?” She asked, a slight southern drawl in her voice. I nodded, unable to form coherent words. Kara came forward and gently handed me the stuffed wolf. She hooked the balloons on the bedside table, and then grabbed a chair and sat beside me.

“Hi, I’m Kara... I’m, uh,”

“Paul’s girlfriend, hi,” I said, giving her a gentle smile. She didn’t seem like a slutty spawn of Satan, like I had assumed she was. “I’m Seth’s girlfriend, Alex.”

For some reason, all the hate I’d felt towards the “other girl” didn’t seem so justified anymore. I couldn’t force myself to be rude and abrasive with her.

“I’m sorry about Paul… I don’t really know where he’s gone to.”

“It’s fine,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t mean this in a rude way, but, why are you here?”

Kara dropped her gaze to the floor and began to rub her hands together.

“Paul and I have known each other for a while… We were going out at the beginning of the summer, but things weren’t going too well. We broke up, but decided to stay friends. A few months ago, he came over and asked if I wanted to spend the day with him.”

I felt my heart tighten automatically. That must’ve been the day he’d refused to come to see me at the Cullens.

“Things went well, and we ended up having sex…” she said quietly. I was silent, letting her finish. Kara lifted her eyes to mine, and I was surprised to find tears building up. “I know you must think I’m a slut… and really, I’m not. Paul had never told me he had a girlfriend, and I didn’t know you two had even been together until the night you found out he cheated. He told me everything… I swear, I never would have been with him if I’d known you were his girlfriend. I’m here because I wanted to apologize in person… I don’t want you to hate me-”

“Kara,” I said, gently cutting her off. She’d begun to cry, and her mascara was running down her sun-tanned cheeks. For some reason, seeing her so vulnerable like this, and hearing the sincerity in her voice, I couldn’t even think of being mad at her. Paul had lied to her, just like he lied to me. I knew she felt horrible, and I didn’t want her feeling guilty for no reason. “I’m not mad at you.”

She looked up at me, her mouth in a small ‘o’ of surprise.

“Why not?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. Paul lied to both of us, and-“

“Please don’t be mad at Paul because of what I said! I didn’t want to put any blame on him.”

“I’m mad at him for other reasons,” I told her, shaking my head. “But you didn’t do anything wrong. Before now, I did think you were a slut… but I know I’m wrong. I forgive you, Kara, even though you didn’t do anything wrong.”

Kara wiped the tears away, smiling at me.

“Thank you, Alex.”

I smiled at her, and then gasped and clutched at my stomach. Kara’s eyes went wide, and she jumped up out of her chair.

“Guys!” I called, knowing that was all I had to say.

The big, empty room was suddenly very crowded. Everyone took their place from before they’d left. Kara gave me a small smile and began to back out, making room for Seth to sit beside me on the bed.

“Kara, you can stay if you want,” I said, smiling through the pain at her. She beamed, and scooted quickly over to an empty chair beside Jared.

***Four Hours Later

Seven. Fucking. Hours.

I’d been in labor for seven fucking hours.

If I’d had known giving birth hurt this bad with medicine, I would have kept my legs shut with Paul.

Speaking of which, Paul still hadn’t shown up. Jacob and Edward returned an hour or so after Kara had come, and said he wasn’t there.

I was almost fully dilated, and Paul was apparently no where on the face of this earth.

“Kara, the baby is probably going to be delivered within the hour. How are you feeling?” Carlisle asked as he stopped in at my room.

“I’m okay…” I groaned, rubbing my stomach. Seth wiped a cloth across my head and kissed my hand.

“Still nothing,” Jared reported, stepping into the room and collapsing into his chair. I let out a frustrated sigh.

“I’ll try the houses again,” Kara said wearily, already punching numbers into her phone.

I began to bite my lip, thinking about how brutally I was going to kill Paul when I found him.

“Oh my God! Paul? It’s Kara!”

I jerked up in bed, gasping in shock. Just then, I felt a horrible wave of pain. I let out a scream, and Carlisle checked back on me.

“Alex, you’re fully dilated,” he said urgently, grabbing his stool and sitting down in front of me. “You need to start pushing.”

“Are you talking to Paul?!” I asked Kara desperately.

“Yeah, I’ve got him! Paul? PAUL! Alex is at the hospital, she’s having the baby!”

She was quiet for a few seconds, and then pulled the phone away from her ear, looking at the screen. She put the phone back to her ear and asked confusedly,

“Paul? Paul, are you there?” She sighed and snapped the phone shut, turning back to me. “He hung up.”

I dropped my head back onto my pillow. Paul knew I was having Lucas. He wasn’t going to show up after all.

“Alex, you need to start pushing,” Carlisle instructed. Defeated now, I gave a half hearted push.

This continued on for twenty minutes, with Carlisle saying things like, “Come on, a little harder!” and “Alex, you need to try a little more”.

As I gave another half-hearted push, I heard commotion out in the hallway.

“Alexis Walker! I need Alexis Walker’s room NOW!”

Seconds later, I saw the door fling open.

Standing in the door frame with nothing more than a pair of worn denim shorts was Paul; flowers in one hand, his shirt in the other.

“Did I miss anything?” he breathed, coming forward and handing the flowers over to Jared. He pulled his shirt on, and quickly pulled the blue smock on that a nurse handed him.

“Just in time,” Carlisle said, grinning up at him.

I was speechless. Paul was here. Paul was here!

“Will you give me a good push, now, Alex?” Carlisle asked, a hint of humor in his voice. I grinned, tears streaming down my face. Paul knelt beside Carlisle as I pushed as hard as I could.

“I see the head!” Carlisle exclaimed a few moments later. Excitement and euphoria washed over me. “One more good push!”

I pushed as hard as humanly possible.

It was quiet for a moment. And then, I heard a collective gasp from everyone in my room; I heard Paul murmur, “Oh my God…”, and then I heard the most amazing sound in the whole world.

A small, watery cry broke through the air. I let out a shaky breath as the pain slowly ebbed away. I was crying uncontrollably now as I listened to Lucas cry; Seth laughed softly, kissing my cheek as he whispered,

“You did it, beautiful.”

“Who do you want to cut the cord?” Carlisle asked me.

I locked eyes with Seth, silently asking him if it was okay. Seth smiled and nodded.

“Paul. I want Paul to cut the cord.”

Seth grinned and took my hand as we watched Paul gingerly cut the umbilical cord.
The few moments Carlisle took to clean Lucas off seemed to stretch into years. I waited, so desperate to hold my baby boy.

Finally, Carlisle made his way over to me, a small bundle of blue blankets in his arms.

“Congratulations, Alex,” he said as he handed the baby to me.

Lucas felt perfect in my arms; I held my gorgeous baby boy to my chest, smiling down at him. He was making small cooing noises, his mouth opening and closing. His head was covered in black fuzz, and his small, pink fingers reached up towards my face.

“Hi, Lucas,” I whispered, rocking him gently.

“He’s hungry,” Edward said gently from beside me. I looked up, feeling my face flush.

“Uh, everyone, you mind if-“

“We’re leaving, mommy,” Emmett teased, stretching as he got up. “But we’ll be back. I can’t resist holding a cute baby.”

I laughed softly as one by one, everyone filed out. Paul and Seth stayed beside me.

“Kara, you can stay too,” I offered, letting Seth help me into a sitting position. She smiled and walked over to Paul, who seemed to just realize she was here. She sat down on his lap and they both waited patiently as Carlisle showed me how to nurse.

Once I had gotten Lucas to start eating, I turned to Paul.

“I’m glad you could be here for this,” I said softly. Paul nodded, seeming a little uncomfortable. He cleared his throat, and said,

“Look, I know I’ve been a jerk to you these past few months… and I can’t take that back. We’ve both moved on,” he said, wrapping an arm around Kara. I nodded in agreement as Seth wrapped his arm around Lucas and I. “But Lucas is my son, and I really want to be in his life.”

“I want you to be, too. You can be with Kara, that’s fine with me. I have Seth, and I’m happy, and I can tell you two are happy too. But I need you to understand, even though you’re Lucas’s father, Seth is his dad. He’s been there with me through the whole pregnancy, and I know he’ll stay with me.”

Paul sighed and nodded. “That’s fair. As long as I can see my son.”

“It’s a deal then,” I said, just as Lucas finished eating. I fixed my shirt, and then burped him. Once Lucas was settled again, I turned to Paul.

“Do you want to hold him?” I asked; Paul’s entire face lit up. Kara moved to the seat beside him as Paul stood up and held out his arms.

I gently handed Lucas over, and watched as Paul held him to his chest. He smiled down at his son, rocking him ever so slightly. Suddenly, Paul drew in a surprised breath.

Startled, I sat up and asked anxiously,

“What?! What’s wrong?!”

“Nothing,” Paul whispered. “He opened his eyes.”

I felt tears well up in my eyes, and I moved over a bit so Paul could sit beside me. He tilted Lucas towards me. He gave a few slow blinks as my son stared at me for the first time. His eyes weren’t the normal bluish grey that most newborns had; his eyes were a light, liquid blue; the exact color of the ocean. Paul handed him over, and I held him to my chest. Lucas continued to gaze up at me, seemingly in awe. I beamed down at him.

“Hi baby,” I said softly. “You have such pretty eyes.”

Lucas made a soft gurgling noise, and all four of us awe’d.

“Seth, you wanna hold him?” I asked, turning to him.

“Of course,” Seth said excitedly, scooting a little closer. I passed Lucas off to him, and watched happily as Lucas smiled up at him.

“Hi, Lukey,” Seth cooed, and I giggled as Lucas cooed back at him.

“I think he likes you,” I said to Seth, who just smiled wider.

“Kara, you want a turn?” Seth offered. Paul and I passed Lucas down to her, and Paul stood to go get the others.

Over the next hour, Lucas was passed around to every single person in the room; Carlisle had to usher everyone out as I began to grow tired. Seth curled up on the bed with me and we watched Lucas as he slept in the small baby bed Carlisle had brought in.

I woke up bright and early, fed Lucas, and waited for Carlisle to come release me. I was so glad I got to go home early; I hated sleeping in the little bed, and couldn’t wait to bring Lucas home.

Finally at noon, Carlisle released me, and Seth drove me home. I climbed out of the car, feeling lighter than I had in weeks. I took Lucas out of his car seat and followed Seth up the porch steps to the front door. Seth opened the doors, and as I stepped in, I gasped.

Bella, Edward, Renesmee, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Jared, Paul, Kara, Quil, Embry and Jacob were gathered in my living room.

“Welcome home!” they all cheered, and I let out a surprised laugh.

Bella came forward and engulfed me in a tight hug, managing to take Lucas from me.

“Awe, you guys didn’t need to throw me a welcome home party,” I said, laughing.

“It’s not a welcome home party,” Bella said, grinning.

“What? But-“

“Alex?” Seth asked from beside me. I turned to him, and gasped.

Seth was down on one knee, a white velvet box in his hands. He held out a hand to me and pulled me closer to him.

“I love you, Alex, and now that our family is starting, I want you to know I love you and Lucas more than anything in this entire world.”

Seth opened the box; a beautiful diamond ring sat nestled inside. He pulled it out and said,

“I love you so much. Alexis Michelle Walker, will you marry me?”

I was speechless. Tears were running down my cheeks as I began to nod vigorously.

“Yes, of course!” I whispered, watching in awe as Seth slid the ring onto my finger. He stood up, and immediately I threw myself into his arms. He held me tightly, spinning me around and around.

Everyone cheered; as Seth sat me down, Bella said,

“It’s not a welcome home party, it’s an engagement party!”

I just beamed at her as she handed Lucas back to me. I was speechless.

My life was perfect. I had a healthy baby boy, I had the most amazing friends anyone could ask for, and I was engaged to the most wonderful guy I had ever met.

My life was complete.