Undisclosed Desires

ღOne Year Laterღ

“You look beautiful!” Nichole squealed, popping into the dressing area. She looked absolutely radiant; her long, blonde hair was curled and pinned back, her golden corkscrews cascading down her shoulders and framing her face. Her bright green eyes were glowing with excitement.

“Awe thanks, Nikki,” I said, grinning at her. The yellow bridesmaid dress looked perfect on her.

“Hold still!” Rosalie chastised, gently turning my head back to where she needed it. I was in the middle of getting my hair done; Alice had just finished my makeup.

“There, what do you think?” Rose asked, holding up a mirror for me to look in.

“Wow,” I breathed, taking in my new hairstyle.

My long, naturally curly brunette hair was twisted off to one side, and the curls fell down my shoulder; the natural golden highlights in my hair shone perfectly. Rosalie had added small, white flowers to dot my hairstyle, and I looked pretty damn good.

“You’re gorgeous,” Bella gushed, hugging me as I stood up. She was already wearing her maid of honor dress; it’d been hard to pick between Bella and Nichole, but Nichole had insisted that Bella be my maid of honor.

The strapless golden gown hugged Bella’s curves, and her deep auburn hair had been lightly curled to fall down around her face.

Renesmee was propped up on her hip, looking just as stunning as her mother.

“And how’s the flower girl?” I asked, grinning down at Nessie.

“You’re so pretty!” Nessie exclaimed, and I grinned even wider; she almost never talked, so hearing her lovely voice just made the day even better.

Renesmee was in a white flower girl dress, decorated with golden ribbons to match the bridesmaids dresses. Her brunette corkscrews were pulled away from her face, and her bright green eyes were dancing with excitement.

“It’s almost time,” Alice said, beaming at me. I felt butterflies fluttering in my stomach; I allowed Bella and Alice to tow me over to the closet, where my dress was hanging. I stripped out of my sweatpants and tanktop, careful not to mess up my hair.

With Bella and Alice holding my dress steady for me, I grabbed their shoulders and stepped in. They pulled the dress up and over my body; it fit perfectly, seeing as Alice had made it for me. It was lovely, a strapless corset-like top that hugged my curves perfectly. At my waist, the skirt flowed out, in gentle waives, held back by small pins, making it look like a flowing ribbon.

Alice laced up the back of my dress, and once I was in, I grabbed Bella’s shoulders and stepped into my high heels.

I took a step back, and then turned to stare at myself in the mirror.

I lost my breath; I was absolutely stunning. I had never thought I’d look this beautiful, ever.

There was a small knock on the door, and I heard Jacob call,

“Are you girls ready? It’s time to go!”

My stomach tightened, and I gave Bella a nervous look. She pulled me into a hug, whispering,

“You’ll be fine, I promise.”
I let out a shaky breath, and nodded in agreement.

“Come in,” Bella said, keeping an arm around me. The door opened, and four very muscular men came pilling into the small room. Jacob was in the front, and Lucas was in his arms.

“Hi, baby!” I gushed, my whole face lighting up at seeing my handsome son. He was in a black tux with a yellow vest underneath, matching all four guys. Lucas was going to be our ring bearer.

“Hey, honey,” Jacob joked, handing Lucas to me. I rolled my eyes as I hugged my son to me.

“Mama!” he laughed, grabbing onto my dress. I gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek, not wanting to get him covered with makeup, nor wanting to mess up my makeup.

“Wow, Alex, you’re gorgeous!” Embry exclaimed, elbowing his way towards me. He gave me a quick hug, making way for Quil and Jared, who also gave me hugs.

“We better get going,” Alice said, coming up beside me. “I’m telling Edward to start the music in one minute.”

I let out another shaky sigh, and reluctantly put Lucas on his feet in front of me; Bella put Renesmee on the ground and handed her the basket full of yellow and white rose petals. Renesmee held the basket in one hand, and then took Lucas’s hand in another. Lucas could walk pretty well by now (he was fifteen months), so I knew he and Renesmee would be able to walk down the aisle together.

When Lucas had been born, we’d all been expecting him to rocket through life just like he had through the pregnancy. We’d thought he would grow faster and learn faster, but it was like the super speed had been switched off the moment he was born. He was now aging just like any other baby, and honestly I was glad. I wanted to hold onto my baby as long as possible before he grew up.

“Ready?” Bella asked, and I gave the most confident nod I could muster. I heard a piano begin outside, and Pachabel’s cannon drifted into the small room.

Embry held out his elbow, and despite her hatred for the wolves, Rosalie linked her arm in his as they headed out the door and down the garden path towards the alter.

Alice and Quil were next, and I watched as Quil and Alice linked arms and followed Rose and Embry.

Nichole gave me a quick hug, and blushed as she walked over to Jared, who was waiting to escort her. I grinned as they linked arms and headed down after the other two.

Finally, Bella and Jacob linked arms, grinning at one another as they followed the rest of the wedding procession.

I followed Renesmee and Lucas to the door, and watched as Renesmee linked her arm with his, and headed down slowly towards the alter, occasionally throwing petals as she went.

Finally, taking a deep breath, I picked up my dress and stepped out into the lovely autumn air. I felt tears begin to prick my eyes as I saw my dad waiting for me at the top of the path, his arm outstretched. I felt the train of my dress being lifted, and glanced back to see Leah and Emily holding it up for me. I had to fight the tears as I made my way forward, and linked my right arm with my dad’s left.

“You’re gorgeous, honey,” my dad said as we began to head down the path.

It wasn’t easy to admit to Nichole and my dad everything that had happened. I’d called them up a few months after Lucas had been born, and asked if they could fly out and plan to stay for a while.

I’d invited them over, and with the help of Seth, I told them everything that had happened since I’d met Paul on the beach. It seemed like so long ago, yet it had happened less than a year ago. I told them about the wolves, and about how Lucas was part shape-shifter too.

My dad had been in total disbelief, while Nichole was awed at all the information. Seth ended up phasing for my dad and Nichole, and that had wiped away all doubts in their mind.

As it turns out, my dad had left Trisha a few weeks ago, and after everything they’d just heard, my dad decided to move back to Forks. They lived in our old house, and Nichole was down in La Push every chance she got.

As we reached the aisle, Edward gracefully turned the song from Pachabel’s cannon to the traditional wedding march. Taking slow, careful steps, I headed down the aisle.

My eyes immediately found Seth; man, he looked amazing in a tux. His unruly black hair had been tamed somewhat, and it just made him look that much hotter.

His beautiful amber-gold eyes swam with happiness as he watched me make my way towards him.

I had to look away before I started bawling.

I glanced to the left, where my family and friends sat. Carlisle and Esme sat in the first row, with two empty seats beside them. One was for Edward when he finished playing, the other was for my father when he let me go.

Behind them were Emmett and Jasper, both grinning wildly. Ben and Angela were in their row too, and even Mike was with them. Lauren and Jessica had sat this one out.

Behind them were a bunch of relatives my dad had invited. Random aunts, uncles, cousins, and other people I didn’t recognized all grinned at me.

I looked over to the right, where Seth’s family and friends were.

In the front row was his Sue Clearwater, her hand linked with Bella’s dad Charlie. Beside Charlie sat Sam, with two empty seats; one for Leah, one for Emily.

Behind them, and to my complete surprise, was Paul, his arm around Kara. Their wedding was scheduled to be in a few months. I almost lost it there, seeing the both of them smiling at me.

I missed Paul, I really did, but I knew I was happier with Seth, and he was happier with Kara. We’d just never been meant to be together. We were too different, and it was a bad match from the start.

But we were both happy now, and I was able to smile at Paul without feeling any pain or sadness.

The rest of that row was filled with the other younger kids in the La Push Pack, most of which I vaguely recognized. It was hard to identify them with their shirts on.

Before I had realized it, my dad and I had reached the altar. Renesmee and Lucas had both gone to their own sides, and now it was my turn to step up in front of Seth.

My dad took my hand, and Seth reached down towards us. My dad gently placed my hand in Seth’s, then stepped back and took his seat beside Edward, who had just now moved from the piano.

Seth helped me up the steps, and then took my other hand in his.

“You look beautiful,” Seth breathed, grinning at me. He had tears in his eyes.

“You’re so handsome,” I said back, and that made Seth grin wider.

I listened to the priest talk through the ceremony, but I couldn’t focus. I barely remember my vows, and then suddenly, I hear,

“Will the Ring Bearer please come forward?”

I saw Jacob give Lucas a hint to walk to me, and he did exactly that.

“Mama!” he said, holding out the pillow with the rings tied to it. I laughed as Seth bent down and untied my ring. Lucas giggled and said,

“Dada!”

I heard everyone laugh and then awe as Seth bent down a little more and give Lucas a kiss on the head. As Seth stood back up, the priest asked,

“Do you, Alexis Michelle Walker, take Seth Andrew Clearwater to be your lawfully wedded husband?”

“I do,” I said as strongly as I could. Seth beamed and slipped the gorgeous ring onto my finger. I reached down and untied Seth’s ring from the pillow, also giving Lucas a kiss on the head. As I stood back up, the priest asked,

“And do you, Seth Andrew Clearwater, take Alexis Michelle Walker to be your lawfully wedded wife?”

“I do,” Seth said as I slipped his ring onto his finger.

“Then, by the powers invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife! You may now kiss the bride!”

Seth slid his arm around my waist, pulling me closer. He tilted me back a little bit, then leaned forward and kissed me as passionately as he could.
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ღSix Months Laterღ

September 12th

“Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Lucas, happy birthday to you!”

Two-year-old Lucas laughed and clapped his hands together.

“Blow out the candles!” Seth told him; Lucas wasted no time in extinguishing the flames.

I saw Bella snap a picture, and I laughed as Lucas grabbed a handful of cake. Terrible two’s, alright.

Lucas shoved the cake into his mouth, and then, turning to me, he asked,

“Mommy, presents?”

“Oh, okay,” I relented, and Lucas clapped his cakey hands together.

“Seth, can you-“

“Already on it,” he laughed, picking up Lucas and setting him down by the sink as he cleaned off his hands.

“To the living room!” Jacob cried, picking up Renesmee and running towards the couch. He leapt over the top of it and dropped down onto the cushions. Nessie laughed as she tried to squirm out of his grasp. Renesmee was about ten now, though she had only been born three years ago. She talked a lot more, though she still liked showing things to people.

“Let me go, Jake!” she squealed. Bella and Edward chuckled as the sat down beside their daughter and Jacob.

The house was completely packed; Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Carlisle, Esme, Jared, Embry, Quil, Leah, Emily, Sam, my dad, Nichole and Charlie were all crammed into mine and Seth’s small living room. There were two seats left on the couch, saved for Seth and I.

I felt small hands grab onto my hair and tug lightly.

“Hi, baby,” I cooed, smiling down at the beautiful little girl in my arms.

Lillian Nichole Clearwater, to be precise. She had been born three and a half months ago, and Seth and I couldn’t be happier. I bounced her lightly on my hip as I made my way to the couch, plopping down beside Nichole.

“Can I hold her?” Nikki begged, giving me puppy dog eyes. I laughed and handed Lillie over to my sister. Nichole held her gently on her lap, and I scooted over as Lucas came zooming through the living room, plopping down in front of me. Seth picked his way through the crowd, finally settling down beside me.

“Hang on, Lucas,” I said as he began to reach for a present.

Lucas pouted and dropped his hand.

“Now?” Lucas asked, looking up at me. It always surprised me, how much he was a perfect combination of Paul and I. His big, liquid blue eyes, the exact color of the ocean, matched mine perfectly. His unruly black hair and tanned skin were exactly like Paul’s, and when he was impatient, like right now, his lips turned down just like Paul’s did.

I smiled at him and said,

“Not yet. We’re still waiting on someone.”

I heard a car pull up, and apparently so did Lucas. He leapt up immediately and rushed to the door; Seth followed him and waited until the last few people made their way up the steps. Seth opened the door, and Lucas zipped out, then reappeared moments later, dragging Paul into the room.

“Come on dad! Presents!” Lucas said urgently, towing Paul to the edge of the couch. I had delicately explained the situation of Paul and Seth to Lucas. I’d told him that Paul was his dad, but Seth was his daddy.

For now, Lucas seemed happy enough with that explanation. Edward had told me (after listening to Lucas’s thoughts), that Lucas knew the distinction between Seth and Paul, and he still saw Seth as his daddy.

Seth held the door open for Kara, who was holding her own baby girl in her arms. I made room on the couch for Kara, who smiled at me and sat down gently so as not to disturb Nichole and Lillie.

Arabella was Paul and Kara’s one year old daughter. She had golden brown hair, and bright chocolate eyes, and she was absolutely adorable.

Paul plopped down on the arm of the sofa beside Jared, who punched his arm and teased him for being late.

Seth sat cross legged on the floor in front of the TV, and Lucas settled himself in front of me again.

“Now, mommy?”

I laughed and said,

“Go ahead, Lucas.”

Bella snapped a picture as Lucas literally dove headfirst into the pile of presents. Man, my kids were spoiled.

Lucas resurfaced moments later, holding a small present.

“That’s from Grampa!” my dad called out as Lucas tore into it. His eyes went wide as he saw the newest Lego package I knew he’d wanted.

“Saw thank you to Grampa, Lucas!” Seth told him, intercepting the Lego’s as Lucas tossed them aside to dig for more presents.

“Thank you Grampa!” Lucas repeated, pulling out another present.

“That’s from Uncle Embry!”

“That’s from Aunt Leah!”

“That’s from Mommy!”

The presents didn’t last long; in the end, Lucas was exhausted, lying in a huge pile of discarded wrapping paper and ribbons.

Everyone was milling about now, chatting amongst themselves. Nichole, Renesmee, Rose and Kara were sitting off to the side, playing with Lillie and Arabella.

The rest of the La Push Pack, along with Edward, Jasper, Emmett, Charlie and my dad were out front playing a game of football.

The party was dying down, and Lucas looked more tired than I liked.

“Bedtime?” Seth asked, starting to pick up the wrapping paper and opened toy boxes.

“Looks like the party is over,” Bella said, coming up beside me and pulling me into a hug.

“Thanks for coming, Bells,” I said, hugging her back. Bella laughed and said,

“Any time. I love a good birthday party.” She walked over to Lucas and said,

“Does Aunt Bella get a hug goodbye?”

Lucas sat up and allowed Bella to hug him warmly.

“Bye Aunt Bella!” Lucas said.

“Bye birthday boy,” she laughed, standing up.

“You still want to babysit for us tomorrow?” Seth asked, piling the wrapping paper into a trashbag.

“Of course,” she said, hugging Seth. “Emmett and Jasper are in the middle of teaching Luke soccer.”

“Excellent!” Seth laughed as he let go of Bella. Slowly, the guests began to pile out. Lucas, Seth and I were passed around for hugs and goodbye kisses as all our friends began to head home.

Once the living room was empty, Seth went to cleaning up the rest of the mess.

“Never gonna keep all the Lego pieces together…” Seth muttered, picking up various pieces that had flown around the living room.

The only people still left in the house were Paul, Kara, Arabella, my dad, and Nichole. Kara was putting Arabella’s coat back on, so I headed over to say goodbye.

“I’m glad you could make it,” I said to Paul as he pulled me into a hug.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world. And Lillie’s birthday is December 8th, right?” he confirmed, pulling back.

“Yup. You’re coming?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Of course,” Kara said, resting Arabella on her hip. “As long as you don’t miss Arabella’s birthday.”

“October 20th?” I asked, and Kara nodded.

“It’s a deal,” I said, giving Kara a one-armed hug to avoid squishing Arabella. I kissed Arabella on the head, saying,

“Bye Arabella!”

She made a cooing noise at me, and I laughed.

“Oh, before I forget,” Paul said, pulling an envelope out of his pocket.

I took it and opened it. Inside was a check for a hundred dollars.

“Thanks, I’ll put this in Lucas’s account tomorrow,” I promised, reaching over and tucking the check into my purse that was on the table by the door.

“Alright, then we’ll see you sometime next week,” Kara said, waving as she headed out to put Arabella in the car.

“Goodnight guys,” Seth called, still herding Lego’s.

“You still up for patrol tonight?” Paul asked, pausing at the door.

“Yup, just let me help Alex put the kids to bed and I’ll head out.”

“See you then,” Paul said, hopping off the porch towards his car.

I waved them off, watching until their car disappeared around the bend. I turned as I heard my name being called.

Nichole came forward, handing off Lillie to me.

“You goin’ home?” I asked, holding my daughter on my side. Lillie was sleepy too; her head drooped down onto my shoulder, and stayed there.

“Yup, she has school in the morning,” my dad said, putting his arm around her.

“Are you guys gonna be at my dance recital this Friday?” Nichole asked, pulling her jacket on.

“You bet!” I said, holding out my free arm for a hug. I pulled Nichole to my side as my dad asked Seth,

“How’re you liking the new job?”

“I love it!” Seth said, dumping another handful of Lego’s into their box. My dad had set Seth up with a job at the car dealership up in Forks, as well as a new car for the both of us (a 2009 red Chevy impala, to be specific). Seth was happy, getting to work on cars all day long, and I was happy working with Carlisle at the Forks hospital as his nurse.

“Alright, well then we’ll see you Friday for the recital,” my dad said, pulling Lillie and I into a hug.

“Bye, kiddo,” my dad said, kissing Lillie’s head. She smiled up at him. “And bye to you, honey,” my dad said, kissing my head as well.

“Bye guys, love you!” Nichole said, hugging me again and giving Seth a quick hug.

I watched, waving the whole time, as my dad’s car headed out of the driveway and back towards town.

Lucas had been busy playing with a trainset that Jared had gotten him, but now he came over to me and said,

“Mommy, I’m tired.”

“Alright Lukey,” I said, bending down to pick him up too. “Time for bed.”

I carried both my children into the room they shared. Seth and the guys were working on a new room for Lucas that would be ready in a few weeks, but for now Lucas and Lillie were fine sharing a room together. I sat Lillie down in her crib as I helped Lucas get ready for bed. I pulled on his blue and green footie pajamas, his favorites since they had dinosaurs printed all over them, and then watched as he climbed up into his own twin bed. Seth and I had taken the railings off the bed a few weeks ago, and so far, so good. Lucas snuggled down into his bed, and I tucked the covers up around him.

“Which one tonight?” I asked him as I picked Lillie back up from her crib.

“Pirates!” Lucas cheered, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I picked his pirate book off the bookshelf as I sat down in the rocking chair next to his bed.

I held Lillie on my lap, a blanket wrapped around both of us, as I began to read the book to Lucas.

I saw a flash of light, and looked up to see Seth standing in the doorway, holding a camera and grinning.

“Daddy! Listen to the story!”

“Ooh, is it pirates or dinosaurs tonight?” Seth asked, plopping down on Lucas’s bed.

“Pirates!” he cheered again, snuggling up next to Seth, who had laid down on the bed behind Lucas.

I read the book twice, until finally Lucas fell asleep. Lillie had dozed off a while ago, and I managed to put her pajamas on without waking her up. Seth fixed the blankets around Lucas as I tucked Lillie into her crib.

I gave her a goodnight kiss, and then Seth and I switched so I could kiss Lucas and he could kiss Lillie.

We both headed out of the room, and I snapped on the nightlight as I turned off the overhead light. I let the door sit open a crack, and headed down the hall.

I brushed my teeth as Seth put all of Lucas’s toys away, and when I came out of the bathroom, he was waiting for me on the bed.

“Be safe,” I told him, hugging him as he stood up.

“Always am,” he replied, tilting my head up for a kiss.

“I love you, gorgeous,” he said softly, ushering me to the bed.

“I love you too, wolfy,” I teased, making Seth laugh.

“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” he said, kissing me again as he pulled the covers up to my chin.

I watched as Seth flicked off the lights and blew me a kiss as he headed down the hall. I heard the door to Lucas and Lillie’s room open slightly; he always checked on them before he headed out.

I heard the front door open and close silently, and then I rolled onto my side, letting my mind wander.

Life had gone by so quickly, and I was happier than ever. I had an amazing husband, who loved me more than I had ever thought possible. I had a smart and adorable son, and a beautiful baby girl.

My life was perfect, and it was just getting started.