Undisclosed Desires

You sat in tense silence for what seemed like hours. Paul was still looking away from you, toying with the hem of his jean shorts.

“Paul,” You began, edging towards him. He looked over at you and you asked,

“What do you need to tell me?” He let out a long sigh, but instead of looking at you, he looked over your head to Quil and Embry as he spoke.

“Alex, it’s not something I’ve ever told anyone before. It’s not something I’m supposed to tell, and I don’t know how well you’ll handle it.” You heard an exasperated sigh from behind
you, and turned to look at Quil and Embry.

“What? What is he talking about?” When they didn’t answer, you turned back to Paul. “Paul, just spit it out. What do I need to know?”

He smiled softly at you and said quietly,

“I’m sure you’re good with weird, just like Bella is.”

“Of course I am. We could pass for twins. But honestly, can I really, truly see Bella once you tell me?” He nodded, and your heart seemed to lift. You flung your arms around his warm neck and whispered into his ear,

“Thank you. That’s what I want more than anything. I’ve missed her so much.”

He hugged you back and said,

“The storm will be here soon. Do you want to go to my house to escape the rain for a bit so we can talk?”

You glanced over your shoulder, to see where Nichole was. She was busy talking with Mike, and knew she wouldn’t notice if you were gone for a bit. And even though you knew you should be wary about going off with a group of huge, muscled strangers, you felt oddly comfortable being with them.

“Alright, just not too long.”

“Promise,” He said as he gave you a huge grin.

“Wait, let’s hold off until Jacob and them get back with the food. They’ll be pissed if we suddenly disappear.” Embry pointed out.

“Right,” Paul said, looking uncomfortable.

“Well, why don’t you tell me some of it while we wait?” You offered, leaning back into his lap to get comfortable.

“Er, I can’t tell you here…” He hedged, glancing nervously at Quil and Embry. You frowned and asked,

“Why? No one else is around.”

“Yeah… But, I mean this should really wait until we’re at my house or something. You know…”

Things began to whirl in your mind. Why did you need to go to his house? And why was he refusing to tell you this unbelievably good news until you were alone with him. You narrowed your eyes and said,

“Tell me, Paul.”

“I can’t tell you. Not yet, anyways.” He looked hopefully into your eyes as you let what he said sink in.

Anger and embarrassment began to surface as you grasped what he was saying.

“So, you come along and charm me into being your friend,” you began, your voice dangerously low. Your eyes narrowed more as you went on. “Then, you manage to sneak into the personal thoughts and feelings I’ve been hiding for some time, and fill my head with all these thoughts that maybe I can see my best friend again; my best friend, who is the only person I love more than my sister. And right when things are sounding pretty great for the first time in months, you make up some bullshit excuse as to why you can’t tell me until we’re alone.”

“Alex, no, you’ve got it wrong. It sounds really bad when you say it like that-“ He began. You let out a small laugh and said,

“Alright then, tell me what I need to know so I can see my best friend. If you’re not trying to take me home to get lucky, you can tell me now.” He sighed, a pained look crossing his
face.

“I can’t right now, Alex. You’re just not ready to hear it yet.”

“Oh, right! Of COURSE I’m not! I’m sure I’ll be ready enough to hear it when I’m lying on your bed with my clothes off, right?” You stood up angrily, and wiped the sand off your shorts, intentionally brushing it onto him. He stood up and grabbed your wrist as you began to storm off.

You hadn’t noticed the how fast the storm clouds had been moving, but now you realized they were right over you. Fat, cold raindrops began to fall as Paul said,

“Alex, I- I really like you, please just come to my house and-“

“Oh, I know you want me at your house, you disgusting pervert! I’m sure this was just a
clever little scheme to get in my pants, right?”

“Technically they’re shorts,” Embry pointed out, coming up behind Paul. You shot a glare at him and snapped,

“Don’t start with me, Embry. Are you in on this too?” You turned your glare back to Paul as he said,

“No, Alex, please don’t think like that! I know how it sounds, and I didn’t mean for it-“

“Yeah, I’m sure you didn’t mean for it to sound so obvious, right? Well, thanks a lot Paul.”

The rain had soaked through your clothes by now, and you were shivering. Paul moved to slide his arm around you, but you jerked away.

“Don’t touch me. Don’t talk to me, don’t look for me, don’t associate with me any more. You led me on and lied to me. I can’t believe I was so stupid to believe you!” His hand was still around your wrist, and you jerked it away. The charm bracelet you had been wearing broke off into his hand, but you didn’t stop to get it back. You stormed off down the muddy beach to where Nichole was huddled under Angela’s umbrella.

“Come on, we’re going.” You snarled, grabbing her hand and towing her to the jeep. She climbed in quickly as you roared the engine to life. You were pulling away from the beach as you glanced back. Paul had dropped down onto his knees, his head in his hands. Embry and Quil were kneeling beside him, staring after you.

“Alex, what happened?” Nichole asked as you turned onto the main road. You shook your head, trying to keep the tears away.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” You mumbled, fixing your eyes on the road. You were both silent for a moment, the only sound coming from the steady whoosh of the windshield wipers. As Nichole glanced over at you, she said quietly,

“Your bracelet from mom is gone.”

“I know.” You choked out, unable to stop the tears now. But you were home, and you hopped out before she could say any more. You turned your face upwards and let the rain wash over your face, so no one could tell you had been crying. You and Nichole both walked up to the front door, ready to go inside and relax. But before you could come inside, Trisha opened the front door, arms crossed.

“No one is coming into this house all muddy and soaked.” She stated, glaring mainly at you. She turned to Nichole and softened her voice.

“Shoes off, Nichole. Then straight up to the bathroom.” Nichole gave you a small smile and scurried in past Trisha. And then your stepmom turned to look at you. You were soaked head to toe. Your normally wavy dirty-blonde hair was plastered to your head, back and arms, and your shirt and shorts were soaked through. Your shoes were muddy, along with your legs and your shorts.

“You’ll need to clean up before you come in this house.” She said coolly. You gave a frustrated sigh, and before Trisha knew what you were doing, you unbuttoned your shorts, let them drop, kicked off your shoes and peeled off your shirt, so you were standing in your bathing suit. You stepped forward under the porch and wrung out your hair, tying it back into a ponytail. You crossed your arms and asked,

“Better?”

“Alexis Michelle, this is unacceptable!” She snapped, jamming her bony little hands onto her bony little hips. You, of course, completely ignored her as you brushed past. Your dad, who was sitting on the couch, glanced up and sighed.

“Please, Alexis-“

“Alex.” You corrected harshly, stomping into the kitchen and beginning to rummage through the fridge.

“Please, Alex, just make this a little easier on us all by cooperating.”

“When she behaves, so will I.” You stated, slamming the fridge door shut and stomping
up the stairs.

Nichole was still in the shower when you got upstairs. You swerved into your bedroom, and began pacing wildly. All your thoughts were rushing through your head, and it was almost too much to take. You glanced at the clock, and had to do a double take. Since when did it get to be 5:30?

You sighed and began to pace faster as you thought, Time just flew by with Paul… Too bad he was a sick perverted freak. Your anger began to bubble again, and you ran a hand through your hair as you tried to calm down. The second you heard the water shut off, you snatched up a pair of pajamas from your dresser and rushed out into the hall. Just as Nichole stepped out of the bathroom, you brushed past her to walk in.

“Alex…” She said quietly, looking after you.

You shut the door a bit harder than you meant to, but you didn’t really care. You snapped the lock shut, and quickly stripped off your swimsuit. You went to remove your bracelet, like you did every night, only to have your fingers meet with nothing. You glanced down, shocked for a moment, before you remembered it was currently in Paul’s hands.

A low whimper escaped your lips, and you felt tears begin to swell in your eyes. You quickly started the shower, and turned it up as hot as it could go. You climbed in quickly, ignoring the sweltering heat on your back. You felt so heartbroken and infuriated at the same time, that you were sure you were going to explode.

As you stood their for a few minutes thinking, pain began to overtake your mind. Did no one really understand how much you missed Bella? She had been like your twin, and she was suddenly ripped from your life. To have the chance to see her again dangle so painfully close to you and then snatched away hurt like no other. You slid down onto the floor of the bathtub, and wrapped your arms around your legs. You rested your head on your knees as the burning hot water washed over you. You let yourself cry silently until the water was luke warm.

As you pulled yourself to your feet to wash off, you felt marginally better. Now that you’d had a moment to yourself, you didn’t feel as weighed down. You finished up in the shower quickly, and got out once the water turned to freezing. You toweled off and pulled on a pair of old cotton shorts and an oversized t-shirt. You padded out into the hall, intent on the kitchen. You glanced into your room, and saw Nichole absorbed on her computer. You could hear the soft hum of music coming from her headphones.

You walked silently down the stairs, glad that Trisha and your dad had turned in for the night. You were pretty hungry, but not enough so to make yourself a whole meal. You found some pizza in the fridge, and heated it up quickly. You munched on it on the way up to your room.
Nichole didn’t look up as you entered your room. You sat down on your bed crosslegged, and looked around for a moment as you finished the pizza. You let yourself lay back on the mattress as you glanced over to the clock. It was eight o’clock already. As you looked up at the calendar, you noticed it was Friday. You sat up quickly, and called out,

“Nichole…” She didn’t look up.

“Nikki!” You said louder. Still nothing.

“Nik Nik!” You demanded, throwing a stuffed animal over at her. She jumped, and pulled out a headphone as you said,

“Movie night?” Her face lit up as she quickly shut off her laptop and said,

“Yeah, definitely!” She jumped up, and rushed out of the room. You hurried after her.

As she put the movie in, you made a bag of popcorn, and then walked out to the living room. Ferris Bueller was already started on the tv. You lifted Nichole’s legs up and plopped down on the couch, handing her the popcorn.

You fell asleep on the couch that night, feeling better than you had earlier. The pain of being tricked and led on by Paul was beginning to fade, and soon he’d be nothing more than a small rough spot in your summer.

***Paul’s POV***

You really messed up man Embry thought to Paul as the pack raced through the woods later that night.

Embry, Paul snarled. I swear to God I’ll come over there and personally rip your throat out.

Hey now, Jacob warned, coming up beside Paul. Let’s all just calm down. Paul, we’ll find a way to fix this.

How?! She hates me. She thinks I’m a sick, perverted lying rapist. She wants nothing to do with me Jake!

The eight of them raced on quietly for a few moments. Jacob glanced over at Paul, and let a picture flash through his head. Paul whined.

That’s clever! Seth praised, bouncing up behind them.

Er, thanks Seth. Paul thought, glancing down briefly to his right paw, where Alex’s
bracelet had been fastened on by Quil.

We’ll fix it man, Jared swore, coming up on Paul’s other side. Just like Jared. He was always ready to fix whatever Paul had broken.

Yeah, man, it can’t be- Leah was cut off mid-thought as a sharp, foreign scent caught the pack’s attention. She skid to a halt as Jacob did, and the pack came to gather around a huge, wolf-like footprint.

It’s not ours, Sam thought warily, looking around at everyone else. Jacob was rigid with shock, and he snarled,

It’s another pack!

We need to follow the trail! Jared thought immediately, his mind flashing to his mate, Kimberly, who lived nearby.

Agreed. Follow me! Jacob commanded, charging through the trees after the foreign scent. As they followed the trail to the end of the trees, a painfully familiar scent caught Paul’s attention. He snapped his gaze up, and found himself looking at a house. The lights were all off, except a faint flickering from a downstairs window. In the front yard, a red jeep sat parked on the lawn.

Alex! He thought frantically. He met Jacob’s eyes desperately.

We need to make sure she’s okay! Paul growled, his eyes sweeping the forest.

Paul, wait! PAUL! But Paul was already halfway across Alex’s backyard, heading towards the window. A horrible, ear-piercing yowl lit up the sky as a huge wolf tore out of the woods across from Paul.

The enemy wolf’s eyes were locked on the house.

He was ahead of Paul, just by a few seconds, but that’s all he’d need to beat him to Alex.