Higher, Faster, Stronger

Just to be safe, I did end up wearing some of my new clothes on Monday. And actually, and even more shockingly and surprisingly, some people did notice. Iz for one.

"Sarah! You look great!" It did bolster my spirits a bit. Izzy was a girl, but I wanted to see if I could pass the boy test. A little test I set for myself. I wanted to see if anyone noticed the transformation from caterpillar to butterfly. It's figurative of course but it serves the purpose.

I wore a deep burgundy Chinese style top. It looked like the top of a kimono, with black silk embroidery and black trimming along the edges. A pattern of phoenixes was woven and though it wouldn't be something I normally wore everyday, I liked it. It was beautiful, sharp. Something I strived to be everyday. A creature of beauty and charm, but with wit and knowledge. It may seem like an unrealistic dream but I knew what I wanted to do in life. What I lacked was who I was to become. I knew now. All that matters is what those who are closest to you think of you. Because if you don't have that, you have nothing. And I was convinced now; I had people I cared for.

And I never wanted to be that weak again.

Neil looked impassive as always and I wasn't surprised. Neil was of a noble line and he wasn't fazed by much, short of full frontal nudity. And even then, he'd find some sort of proper way to deal with it. If he noticed the change, he said nothing. I think he knew what I know now. It's what's on the inside and I bet he knew that too.

Nate did notice a bit.

"Sarah, you look different. Nice. And don't forget practice today, it's going to be a killer!" He ran off to his classes smiling as always. I don't think he forgot about last practice when he had teased me and Thompson and I had taken off after him. Actually, Coach thought it was a good idea. Not to beat him into the ground but to chase Nate, to simulate running after opponents. For a while I couldn't stop laughing and a few of them joined in.

Oh, I can't pretend I didn't hear the 'mood swings' comment but I was feeling magnanimous. Besides, I can't pretend that they weren't right. I went from uptight cranky cow to happy girl. I think that it has to be a record. From 0 to PMS in 3 seconds flat!

I smiled myself and walked on to my classes. I felt good, empowered almost. The same feeling I had when I joined the football team. Proud of myself. I wasn't about to let that go.

That was odd because all the people who I'd ever had problems with, I saw around. Terry gave me a slight bow and smile when she was going into the newspaper office. The girl who I had grabbed by the throat and pushed into the locker was my lab partner. Let me tell you that was a little awkward. But the day turned out ok. It's a relief to know some things turn out well.

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Now to go see the team.

Later I saw Derek at practice, and I caught up to him with a running start.

"Hey! Thanks for talking me through my little identity crisis. I'm sorry…"

And he cut me off there.

"Don't. Don't be sorry for what you are. Everyone shows weakness. Whether we actually choose to indulge in that weakness is your choice." He told me in a firm voice. I was surprised because I had never seen that type of emotion. It must have been a sore spot. Or a lesson hard learned.

"Understood, Captain." I used a softer voice than normal. He turned with his bag in hand. Mom taught me respect where it is due.

"Don't call me that." It wasn't a mad tone, thank goodness. He strode toward the coach as the rest of preliminarily stretched. I smiled, for the first time in awhile. I had a thing to settle.

I walked to the kid who had "insulted" me on Friday. He turned around, eyes wide.

I inclined my head slightly.

"I'm sorry I over reacted. It was a bad day, you know? I do appreciate the 'one of us' comment."

He just stood still, eyes wider than saucers. I wanted a teacup to put down on them because he looked a bit possessed. Go figure I'd snap at the crazy ones. I was on a nice streak today. It felt odd from what I might normally do.

Coach blew the whistle.

"Everyone will be paired off by me. One person will act as a weight on the other person's back while they do push ups. I'll supervise. Then we move onto extreme up downs and some more delights."

Ok, it's official. Coach had gone off the deep end. Snapped his branch, off his rocker, whatever you wanted to call it. He was seriously mental. I didn't even want to know what extreme up downs were…

"Don't give me those groans. If you want to beat the rest of the teams that we're up against then it's my job to whip you into shape."

I was paired with Cameron, no surprise. He was about my size, so I rather expected it.

"He's….totally snapped…" he commented as I sat cross legged on his back. "He's crossed…the line…between tough…and…insane…" he gasped out. "If I die now….you can have my pads…"

I leaned over and looked him in the eye.

"Dude, I'd need a bottle of bleach to disinfect those." He grinned up at me. " That's kind of the female equivalent of giving an empty box of tampons."

Coach blew the whistle to switch. I switch to push up position as he sat on my back. He let his legs dangle over.

"What did you eat for breakfast, a pound of Lead O's? Concrete toast?" I asked after a little while. He was heavy! After Coach finished up with those, he gave us his version of extreme up downs. Twice as fast as usual and twice as long. At least both now my arms and legs were burnings from fatigue.

The tires were next. He set them up down the length of the field and at the end put a giant ring to dive through.

"You're to run down these ten times. When you're done line up back down here. I'll start you. Did I miss anything?"

"Kitchen sink." I piped up. It was kind of funny to see a bunch of guys fighting off giggles. He smiled. Why was Coach smiling? Oh crap.

"Everyone, line up after Hall."

Me and my big mouth.

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"What's the real reason that Coach has gone drill sergeant on us?" I asked Derek later. We were on the way to our cars and I was sort of moving like a wounded lion, machete in it's back.

"Saratoga."

"Saratoga Beach? I played their girl's teams. What about them?" I frowned.

"They're good. The reason he's worried is because they moved up a division this year, to ours. They have one player by the name of Gabe. Psychotic but gifted. Their entire team is like that."

"He wants to beat them that bad? Seems a bit extreme, even for him."

"As long as he doesn't start whipping us or running two a day practices I have no qualms about it." He opened the front door to his car.

"By the way, meet me at the Kelowna Park at 1 on Saturday."

"Sure."

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The next team we faced were called the Bulldogs. I was stilled pretty much elated but I also didn't want to count my chickens. Still I'd rather beat myself over the head with a dead badger than be wrong about this.

Still, even with an easy team ahead of us, distraction wasn't really an option. The only problem was, the other team wouldn't stop trying to insult us. Their players were pretty bad as it was but it seemed the only way they could get a rise out of us was to insult us. And the better our players were, the more crap was thrown at them. Neil for instance. They took great pride in trying to make him snap.

Hey, I haven't accomplished it yet, so there's no way in heck they could manage it. He only really rose to the occasion he said, if he had a worthwhile opponent and he hardly ever sparred with me. So basically, Nate and I have a bet going that the next time Neil snaps, he makes them cry like a little girl.

Nate, it's easy to get going. One boy throws a 'yo momma' joke and he tries to murder them.

It's a little different for me. See, as a girl, I'm used to insults and like to throw them back in the moron's face. The first two quarters went by 3rd quarter, we were ahead 29 points to nil. The boy I was facing off against in the line up was sweating like a pig and acting like one too.

"You play like such a girl!" he called after I had gotten past him for what seemed like the millionth time. Hey, not my fault. His skills were as bad comparatively as his breath and body odor. And those alone could make the most filthy hobo heave and go crying home to his momma. I gave a bit of a laugh and pulled off my helmet to let my longer hair stream out.

"Please. I AM a girl. But I'll take that as a compliment because obviously someone failed 'How to Play Football' 101. Bulldogs? Don't make me laugh. Chihuahua's are more like it. Short, yappy and annoying. No snappy comeback? Aww junior, you're playing in the major leagues now, send someone better up to bat because Mighty Casey just struck out. Bye now."

I waved like a pageant girl and walked back the benches smiling.

Coach just looked at me with a weird look on his face. He looked like he was either going to deck me or burst out laughing. Lucky for me, he started the latter.

"Hit him low, where it hurts. I should punish you but I'm senile if I don't expect everyone out there not to rib their opponent."

I kind of side stepped away from him at that point. It's odd to see your coach laugh with you…especially if you just insulted someone. Go figure.

The game ended for us technically in the second quarter. All the hard work Coach had made us slaves for totally went to waste on this team. They were rude, unmotivated, uncoordinated and unbathed.

I did the tally in my head. That was 7 games down, including the one I was exempt from and the one I was sick during. We didn't have that many left. We were on a winning streak with 5 regular games, the semi finals and then the championships makes 7. I knew who, if we made it, we'd be facing in the championships. The crazy team from Saratoga, the one that Derek gave me the low down on. I did some researching, with Steve's help.

He was right, they were crazy good. I read some interesting articles about the main player, Gabe, their quarterback. He was linked to a few possible murders but the feds had nothing on him, only suspicions. The Saratoga newspapers came to call him untouchable: he was fast, he always had good defense and no one had ever seen him be taken down.

I found that exceedingly odd. Football is a sport mostly dedicated to the rough and tumble. However, I did find some articles on what plays they had won games with.

Because of their coordination, they could pull off high risk plays like the flea flicker. Some of their bigger boys were famous for such maneuvers as the horse collar tackle. That's a move that you're grabbed and brought down from behind. Sneaky, dirty playing. I read the stats on the boy: he wasn't very big, but his entire team was. I printed off a sheet and tucked it into my folder to give to Steve.

I had so much to do in the mean time.

School. Football practice. Another game. Saturday with the Captain. Homework.

What's a girl to do?