Do You Love Me

I never thought I would say this. But I don’t love you, I did. But I don’t now. You made it that way. You made me hurt so bad, made me cry so much, made me regret. The way you treated me was horrible. Before I was so proud to be who I am, but now I'm disgusted by it! And it’s your entire fault; I want you to have all the blame I want you to feel bad about what you have done to me, but you never will. I know that, you never once said sorry for the thing you did. You would say “It won’t happen again. I promise.” But it did, over and over again. You would tell me that it was all my fault, that I made you say those things, that I made you inflict pain on me. At first you said you were just playing but I could see the anger in your eyes. It scared me; it should have been a warning of what was to come. But I was too stupid to realise it. We would laugh together, cry together, ‘play’ together, but that's never what you wanted. You wanted a thing that you could use, and that was me. You would take your anger out on me, at the start I’d say things back, but then after a while after you started getting angrier, I got too scared to say anything but sorry. Sorry was all I ever seemed to say, sorry was my lifeline. Ha, I’m a joke because of you.

You used to say that you were nothing before you had me, that you’d be nothing without me, that you were lucky to have me. Yeah right. I don’t know if you ever actually meant that, I suppose it would be sort of nice if you meant it. NO! I'm not going to think like that, it will make me feel sorry for you, wow; those thoughts should never come in to my mind. I hope you read this because I will never forgive you. I want you to know that I will NEVER forgive you! You did too much.