Rants

I’m keeping my promise, I’m swearing off boys until the New Year. No one can change that now. People are disgusting and pathetic, and I’m going to change that about myself. See, the thing that makes us all disgusting and pathetic is relationships and “crushes”. Our whole being revolves around that person and you do anything for them, even dumbing yourself down and sending those pictures, saying those things, or actually doing those things. Well, no more for me. I’m done with that. You all blew your chances, and most of you don’t care. You’re not worth my time anymore. The only people I need around me are my real friends, and I hope they stay. I don’t want a relationship, I was never going for that to begin with. But now I don’t even want someone to hug me. I used to love hugs, now I can’t stand it when people touch me. I don’t even like a pat on the shoulder. I don’t want anything to do with boys unless they are just my friend. That’s it. No more “crushes” or “liking” anyone, cause you want something to happen and nothing ever does. You expect too much. You know that they don’t “like” you anymore, but they don’t have the balls to tell you, then you become obsessed with wanting them to just fucking tell you the damn truth, instead of you wondering for days. I got the hint finally, sorry for bothering you. I won’t text him anymore, because obviously he only wants to talk on HIS time. Fine, whatever. Just know that if he texts me, I’m not gonna reply anymore because I’ll end up dumbing myself down again. I’m so disgusted with myself. I’m not even comfortable with my own body, and I took those pictures. I hope to God he deleted them. Why did I even do that? I HATE my body! Oh yeah, I did it because I thought he’d like me more if I did. I’m just a stupid girl. I’m changing that. I’m changing me. I’ve been through too much and survived too much to just throw my hard work away. So, fuck all of you that I dumbed myself down for. Fuck all of you who treated me badly, who hurt my feelings, and who tried to break my heart. A big FUCK YOU, to EVERYONE who has wasted my time, you are no longer worth it.